First Session Video for Case Study Assignment

Summary

The transcript details a therapeutic session between Sarah, a school teacher, and a counselor. Sarah expresses feelings of stress, isolation, and exhaustion, stemming from the pressures of work, home, and a recent kiss with a colleague, Rob. She discusses the impact of COVID-19 on her personal life, including the strain it has put on her relationship with her husband, Dave, and her inability to connect with friends. Sarah also shares her guilt over enjoying the attention from Rob, which contrasts with her love for her family. The session highlights her struggle to balance her responsibilities with her own emotional needs and ends with a plan to further explore her feelings and relationships in the next session.

Takeaways

• 🤝 Sarah is introduced to James, a therapist, through a referral letter from her GP, indicating she's experiencing stress and relationship difficulties.
• 😓 Sarah has been struggling with sleep disturbances for the past six months, feeling tired and overwhelmed.
• 👨‍👩‍👧 Sarah has a five-year-old daughter named Sofia, and the stress of managing her new school routine adds to her tension.
• 🏫 As a school teacher, Sarah is finding it challenging to maintain her usual patience levels with students, leading to a need to 'take a beat' to avoid snapping.
• 🤔 Sarah feels unsupported by her husband, Dave, particularly when it comes to managing household responsibilities and emotional support.
• 👫 Sarah experiences tension with her father, a retired teacher, who tends to offer unsolicited advice rather than emotional support.
• 😔 Sarah expresses feelings of isolation due to her close friend's health issues and the general impact of COVID-19 on social interactions.
• 😡 Sarah has been increasingly short-tempered with Dave, which she attributes to feeling unsupported and not understood by him.
• 🤔 Sarah has developed a close, possibly inappropriate, relationship with a colleague named Rob, which causes her guilt and confusion.
• 😣 Sarah feels conflicted about her feelings for Rob, as she still loves her husband and family but is drawn to the attention and support Rob provides.
• 📅 James suggests they reconvene in a week to further explore Sarah's feelings about Rob, her relationship with Dave, and other stressors in her life.

Q & A

What is the main reason Sarah is seeking therapy?

Sarah is seeking therapy primarily due to feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and experiencing difficulties with relationships and sleep disturbances.

How has Sarah's sleep been affected in the last six months?

Sarah has had trouble falling asleep and feeling tired upon waking up, which is a new issue for her.

What does Sarah perceive as the catalyst for her seeking therapy?

The catalyst for Sarah seeking therapy was a conversation with her mother, who suggested she address her feelings of stress and exhaustion with a professional.

How does Sarah describe her interactions with her husband, Dave, during times of stress?

Sarah admits to snapping and yelling at Dave during times of stress, particularly during the evening when tasks are urgent and time is tight.

What is the nature of Sarah's relationship with her teaching partner, Rob?

Sarah has a close working relationship with Rob, which includes emotional support and a level of excitement. However, it has led to feelings of guilt and confusion as she also feels conflicted about her feelings towards him.

How does Sarah feel about her job as a school teacher?

Sarah is passionate about her job and considers it a vocation. However, she also experiences stress due to the demands and changes in the teaching environment, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.

What is Sarah's main concern regarding her relationship with Rob?

Sarah is concerned about the emotional connection she has with Rob, which makes her feel guilty and conflicted about her commitment to her family and her values.

How does Sarah's father's legacy at the school affect her?

Sarah feels a mix of pride and pressure due to her father's legacy at the school. She appreciates his insights but also experiences tension when he offers unsolicited advice on her teaching.

What is the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on Sarah's teaching?

The pandemic has caused significant stress for Sarah as it has led to shifts in her teaching schedule, increased planning requirements, and a sense of instability in her professional life.

How does Sarah feel about her role as a mother?

Sarah is concerned and caring towards her daughter, Sofia, but also feels the pressure of managing her child's needs while dealing with her own stress and exhaustion.

What does Sarah struggle with in terms of self-judgment?

Sarah struggles with self-judgment regarding her actions and interactions with people, particularly feeling guilty about her relationship with Rob and how it might affect her family and professional life.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Introduction and Initial Consultation

James, presumably a therapist, begins the session by introducing himself and explaining the reason for the meeting based on a referral letter from Sarah's GP. The letter outlines Sarah's stress, feeling overwhelmed, and relationship difficulties. Sarah shares her sleep disturbances over the past six months, feeling tired and unable to sleep. James outlines the process of their sessions, including the potential for follow-up meetings and the use of surveys to measure Sarah's stress and anxiety levels over time.

05:00

🌱 Triggers and Stressful Life Events

Sarah discusses the catalyst for seeking therapy, which was a conversation with her mother that led to her GP's referral. She describes her constant fatigue, the inability to sleep despite exhaustion, and the impact on her personal and professional life. Sarah also mentions the stress of her daughter Sofia starting school and the resulting changes in routine, which have exacerbated her feelings of being on edge and impatient, particularly with her husband.

10:01

😡 Loss of Patience and Escalating Tensions

Sarah elaborates on her reduced patience levels, especially with her husband, Dave, and how she often snaps at him. She contrasts her ability to manage her emotions at school with her lack of control at home. The tension has increased since the Christmas break and the beginning of the school year, affecting her interactions with her family. Sarah also discusses the challenges of dealing with her daughter's new school routine and her own fatigue.

15:02

🤔 Identifying Patterns of Interaction and Emotional Needs

The conversation delves into the patterns of Sarah's arguments with Dave, focusing on the practical aspects of household management and the emotional disconnect she feels. Sarah expresses a desire for more emotional support and recognition of her stress from Dave. The discussion also touches on Sarah's feelings towards her father's input on her teaching career and the legacy he left at her school.

20:03

🏡 Work-Life Balance and Family Dynamics

Sarah talks about her passion for teaching and the challenges of working at a school where her father had a significant impact. She describes the tension between seeking her father's emotional support and receiving unsolicited advice on her job. The summary highlights Sarah's struggle with feeling unsupported in her professional and personal life, leading to increased stress and a sense of isolation.

25:03

😣 Guilt and Self-Judgment

Sarah expresses guilt over her interactions with a colleague, Rob, which she perceives as possibly flirtatious. She feels conflicted between enjoying Rob's attention and feeling guilty about it, which subsequently affects her relationship with Dave. The summary reveals Sarah's internal struggle with her feelings for Rob, her guilt, and the impact on her marriage and self-perception.

30:03

😔 Emotional Conflict and Seeking Resolution

Sarah describes her emotional turmoil regarding Rob, including a past kiss and the ensuing regret. She contrasts the excitement of Rob's attention with the guilt and self-loathing she experiences afterward. The summary addresses Sarah's desire to discuss and resolve her feelings about Rob during the next therapy session, highlighting her need for clarity and support in managing her emotions and relationships.

Keywords

💡Stress

Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. In the script, Sarah experiences stress due to the pressures of work, managing her home life, and the recent changes in her daughter's school routine. It's a central theme as it affects her sleep, relationships, and overall well-being.

💡Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed implies being excessively burdened or confused by the magnitude of a situation. Sarah describes feeling overwhelmed by life's stressors, which is evident in her interactions with her family and the difficulties she faces in her personal and professional life.

💡Sleep Disturbances

Sleep disturbances refer to disruptions in the quality or quantity of sleep, affecting a person's ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or experience restful sleep. Sarah mentions having trouble sleeping, which has been impacting her energy levels and daily functioning for the past six months.

💡Relationship Tensions

Relationship tensions are strains or conflicts that arise within personal or professional relationships. The script reveals tensions between Sarah and her husband, as well as her complex feelings towards a colleague, Rob, which contribute to her emotional state.

💡Isolation

Isolation is the state of being alone or detached from others. Sarah discusses feeling isolated due to her circumstances, such as the lack of support from her husband and the distancing from friends because of personal issues and the pandemic.

💡Teaching

Teaching is the profession of educating students. Sarah is a school teacher, and her passion for teaching is a significant part of her identity. However, the script also highlights the stressors associated with her job, including the impact of COVID-19 on her work.

💡Emotional Support

Emotional support involves providing comfort, understanding, and reassurance to help someone cope with their feelings or difficulties. Sarah expresses a need for emotional support, which she feels is lacking from her husband and father, leading to feelings of frustration and sadness.

💡Guilt

Guilt is a feeling of remorse or responsibility for some supposed transgression. Sarah experiences guilt over her interactions with Rob, her colleague, and her perceived shortcomings as a mother and wife, which adds to her emotional turmoil.

💡Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance refers to the equilibrium between an individual's work responsibilities and personal life. Sarah struggles with achieving a balance, as her professional responsibilities and the recent changes in her work environment create additional stress in her personal life.

💡Self-Judgment

Self-judgment is the act of criticizing oneself or holding oneself to certain standards. Sarah engages in self-judgment, particularly regarding her actions and interactions with others, which contributes to her feelings of guilt and stress.

💡Therapy

Therapy is a professional treatment method for mental or emotional issues. Sarah is seeking therapy to address her feelings of stress, anxiety, and the various challenges she is facing in her life. The therapy sessions are a safe space for her to discuss her concerns openly.

Highlights

Sarah is experiencing high levels of stress and feels overwhelmed, which is impacting her sleep and relationships.

Sarah has been having trouble sleeping for the past six months, feeling very tired and unable to fall asleep easily.

Sarah's stress and anxiety have increased significantly in the last 3-4 weeks leading up to the start of school.

Sarah feels unsupported by her husband Dave, who does not check in on her or offer emotional support.

Sarah has been feeling short-tempered and snapping at Dave, especially during the hectic evening hours.

Sarah feels isolated from her close friend Anna, who is struggling with OCD and is not able to offer the support Sarah needs.

Sarah is a passionate school teacher and feels stressed by the disruptions and extra planning required due to COVID.

Sarah feels there are high expectations to live up to her father's legacy as a respected teacher at the same school.

Sarah struggles with her father offering unsolicited advice on her teaching instead of just providing emotional support.

Sarah has developed a close, flirtatious relationship with a male teaching partner named Rob, which causes her guilt and confusion.

Sarah feels judged and fearful of others' perceptions if they knew about her relationship with Rob.

Sarah is unsure of what to do about her feelings for Rob and the impact on her marriage to Dave.

Sarah feels torn between her love for Dave and the excitement and attention she receives from Rob.

Therapist suggests making the relationship with Rob a focus of their next session to explore Sarah's feelings and options.

Sarah expresses appreciation for the opportunity to openly discuss her feelings and gain clarity.

Therapist empathizes with the stress Sarah is facing in balancing her professional and personal responsibilities during a challenging time.

Therapist advises Sarah to take a few minutes to care for her own needs before transitioning back to her responsibilities at home.

Transcripts

hi there sarah how are you hi good thank

you

nice to meet you over soon

it's nice to me

so yes of course i'm james and um i got

the referral letter uh from your gp

uh and in the referral letter your gp

kept it pretty brief

essentially it's just an outline there

that at the moment

life is very stressful you feel very

overwhelmed and there are some perhaps

difficulties with some relationships

there are tensions

that's all it had there in the referral

letter from the gp does that cover

everything that's going on are there

other things missed um i suppose another

thing i brought up with him i don't know

if it's relevant for you but um just

a lot of

trouble disturbances with my sleep

um

okay it's been

probably the last six months of being

very tired not being able to

get to sleep very easily

um and

it's nothing i've really ever had a

problem with before but

um

yeah just probably the last six months

i've had a lot of yeah problems with

sleep as well okay then so uh last six

months there's definitely be impact on

sleep yeah and it's okay you're just not

able to fall asleep is that right

um not being able to fall asleep and

then not feeling like i can never get

enough sleep like just being very tired

when i wake up okay okay and that's been

going on for six months

yeah i'd say so about that long

every day

most days yeah

pretty tired

so most days is like

you know at least monday to friday kind

of thing is that what you mean

yeah

and the weekends just always time

okay so it is every day yeah yeah

okay

okay

so uh i'm not quite sure how much detail

or information you your gp gave but

essentially um i'll just write back to

him just to let him know that we've

started our sessions together that'll be

all i include is that sarah and i have

now met and commenced um on the on the

plan that you've sent through

[Music]

and then on this plan we have ten

sessions together uh now we don't have

to use all the ten

and we'll reflect on i say at the end of

today's session on what we might want to

do if we want to meet again next week

for our second session

um it's just an opportunity for us to

think about and reflect how we would

like to

to perhaps use the sessions and and how

much time

we'd like in between sessions too weekly

fortnightly

and then at the end of our time together

uh i'll write back to the gp letting him

know how things have gone together again

it'll just be focused in on

the the core difficulty which could be

about the overwhelmed sense of anxiety

or stress that you're experiencing and

perhaps the sleep as well

one of the other things that we'll do as

we progress is is complete some measures

or some surveys so you've completed one

for me already as you were waiting

for today's session

um but those scales are just helpful to

get a sense of how things are for you

right now

um and and uh sometimes it can be

difficult to remember that

in a month's time uh so we sometimes do

uh measures at different times the same

scale just to see how things are going

for you and if things have changed

across time okay

now with the one you filled out today

i'll score that up and i'll send you an

email um which will give you some

information about um

you know what you what you ended up

filling out there on that survey i'll

give some information in return and feel

free to email me back uh with that if

there are any questions or we can talk

about it more in the next session okay

all right that sounds good

okay

so for the rest of today really the

focus will be on uh

getting the getting a sense of you sarah

and focusing in on kind of what really

brought on these feelings of stress and

anxiety

that you're experiencing uh at the

moment yeah before we do that did you

have any questions or did you want to

ask anything

um

no

no

no

if anything were to pop up do feel free

to ask okay okay yeah which sounds good

and given this is on zoom i just want to

check it is your space around you

private and

okay for today's session yes i'm

in the house by myself today so yeah

nice and and likewise here um i'm in a

private space

and secondly uh if our connection was to

drop out um you've got my email and

contact numbers there with you but if

ours drop if the zoom drops out just try

joining back on first okay and if that

doesn't work

try calling me and um i've got my phone

here and we can

problem solve the situation over the

phone

oh lord yes not a worry a new world okay

great

and as we're tracking i might just jot

down a few things so i can remember them

um on things that you say otherwise you

know i can lose track of of all the

important parts

um that have happened

so yep that makes sense sure

okay so sarah

where would you like to start what

brought you here

um

well

i i suppose the

big kind of

catalyst i suppose was um

i had a conversation with my mum

um a couple of weeks ago and i was just

you know

venting to her and she kind of suggested

um

therapy she kind of was like why don't

you talk to your doctor why don't you

um address this properly and

so that's

like i was like oh okay so

that was kind of how

i ca

how i got here

but um

the things

that i was talking to mum about were

like

i've just been feeling

coupled with like this like just being

exhausted i've been very tired and can't

seem to

catch up on that sleep

and

um

feeling very kind of like you know that

feeling when you i don't know if you

know it but like when you

are really tired and then you hop into

bed and you're like oh

and then it's like

your brain switches on and it's like and

this and this and this and this and i

can't

kind of seem to turn it off

yes yes so

yeah so even though i'm

very tired i can't seem to turn my head

off and go to sleep

and i'm just feeling i just feel

exhausted all the time and um

i have a

five-year-old um a little girl uh sofia

she's just started prep um

and

honestly if

sofia wasn't waking coming into the

bedroom

in the morning um

i'd probably you know sleep till one or

something one in the afternoon or

something

um

yeah so that

is playing on my

mind as well

but

feeling this kind of i just

and i was saying this to my mum i just

am constantly

feeling

on edge like i'm about to

lose it with

everyone

particularly my husband

[Music]

and that i have no patience

um

we've just started back at school i'm a

school teacher i don't know if the

doctor put that down there but we're

back at school now and we've got kids in

the classroom and even in the classroom

i feel myself having to

take a beat

sometimes with kids where that's never

really been

a struggle for me before

um

did you

say take a beat

yeah yeah i'm so sorry um what's that do

you mean like take a break

like um a moment so that i don't i'm not

a yelly teacher i don't like to have to

raise my voice but i feel like that's

like my go-to like i feel like that's

what i'm about to do is like just yell

at these kids

um

where like i'm normally very i like kind

of

i'm able to have a lot of different kind

of coping strategies in the classroom to

manage difficult pins

um and i

i can't

i don't have

yeah so i need to take a beat like just

go

all right and then address them properly

but then i'm not screaming my head out

at them

okay so taking a beat essentially means

you're kind of um directing the class in

some way at that point is that right

well it's more like i'll be going

before i

jump to yelling that beat is just for

myself to go

right

oh so it is a pause it is a breath kind

of thing you're taking it

it is okay i'm with you so taking a beat

means

slow the system down or slow sarah down

um so i don't snap and lose it at the

kids yeah

i understand i'm sorry i i i just wasn't

familiar i like the term i will use it

myself

yeah no that's we use that a lot take a

beat

okay for the kids like to um

when they're getting very overwhelmed to

themselves we'll say take a beat take a

breath

stop compose yourself now tell me the

story so yeah yeah

i have to have to do that to

i myself how does it work for you

um

yeah

quite it's i find it to be quite

effective um but

i don't normally have to do that i don't

normally have to like um

really actively self-monitor that

um

yeah

and you've mentioned that this has

happened at

school a lot more than what has ever

happened before but also outside of

school is that right and just at home

there's the sense that you you're

a bit more the patience isn't there as

it used to be

um and is it that is it the exact same

feeling

in in both

yes except that

i

don't take a moment with my husband i

generally will just snap at him

and i will yell

i've hated it it's been a tough

week particularly last week because

sophia just started at school

um so she her skin her routine is

completely different and she's been very

tired and

tired kids are hard work uh she's five

and i'm tired and so i know i have

yelled at her

when i wouldn't normally um so

and i feel terrible about that i just

ugh

um hate that

um

and i try very quickly to

reprimand that like not represent like

to

um

you know comfort her as quickly as

possible after i've been

but

with my husband

this is this is awful but i don't care i

mean i do care but i have no i'll tell

him

um

can you just do it

okay and that's to your husband is that

what you're saying

yeah dave yeah dave it's his name yeah

okay so there is the um you have that

sense of uh

you know having that angst or moment and

you can manage that at school it sounds

like that that requires you to be

you know really at your best at school

at the job uh whereas at home

it's just not happening um

and you you do

let it snap um or show itself whatever

that may look like um sometimes it

sounds like occasionally it would lead

to yelling towards sofia but i mean

that's only been how long has this been

going on for would you say well

with with so it's only been this

week

um

and that and that's also because she's

very tired so it's

that as well

um because she's she's

i've lucked out

touch wood um she's a gorgeous little

girl very um very easy so i know that

this is going to settle

um

yeah but um

with dave i'm just um

i don't know

um

i suppose my

well okay for example

he's a lawyer so he doesn't get the kind

of holidays that i get

um so

he only had two weeks off of the

christmas break and i had

you know a long time

and he

and that was fine like

not i that's perfectly fine and we do

sophia and i have a lovely time and

everything but i've just started back at

work

um

after the whole muck around

at the start of the year about the

school dates i don't know if you're

aware but like our school school dates

got pushed back two weeks and then we're

told they're adding two weeks to the end

of our entire year

and then they took that away and it's

just been a

after two years of this it was like like

we're starting our year like this

and

i was kind of telling this to dave like

i was

you know

sophia not starting school and me being

at work and everything about how

just stressed out i was feeling about

anxious and you know nervous about

starting work again and

i just feel like it went in one year and

out the other

and he hasn't i'm like

i'm ju i know that you've been at work

this whole time

but for one week or two weeks can you

just pick up the slack a little bit

until

we're

established more into a routine

and

i just have had

no patience for him

and i

yeah

snapping at him

and then feeling like a terrible mother

and a terrible wife after i do it

and yeah just feeling

[Music]

like not like not like myself really

when it comes to snapping at dave

so there has been it has been happening

this

week with sofia starting back at school

and just helped help out as you say um

with this transition point

but they're kind of getting kind of

snappy if you will with dave

when how far back can you trace that

like did this kind of was there was this

hanging around last year or has it just

been

since christmas

how far back we've gone

well i would say

it's gotten particularly intense the

last

three to four weeks in the lead up to

school starting on sofia's starting

but

it wasn't so at the end of term four

things

it wasn't as bad as it is now but it

wasn't good

okay

so there was a shift noticeable shift

yeah i would say what's being uh a

little bit more on edge and short with

each other is is that right since about

ten four last year so around

november-ish last year yeah

october-ish kind of

um

that those last weeks

of the year so it can be very

stressful and then we had a lovely

little period over christmas um

dave had time off i was on holidays and

it was really lovely

okay um

yeah

yeah what is it

when you have the the kind of um

when you say snap uh with dave um is

this happening when it does happen every

day or is this happening once a week

like how how frequently is it occurring

i would say

at the moment

at least at least this week i would say

every every

day every afternoon

okay an evening and it's always around

that kind of um

hectic time of

dinner bath

bed

um that gets

that's

when

he and i will have words typically

um

can you give me a little example is that

okay yeah like um

well

so last night

i was

cleaning up

after dinner and he was putting so

in for a

bar her bath or shower

and

it was like 20 questions

where's

uh where's her towel where's her pajamas

what's she wearing tonight um she wants

you to do her hair she was like

i'm trying and so it was all of these

and i said can you and i just i just

said to him dave was asking you yeah

dave was asking me all of these

questions

and i said can you just look after your

daughter

i just

felt yeah i'm like i'm trying to i've

just finished cooking dinner

now i'm cleaning up our dinner

can you just do one thing

what did he do after you said to him you

know can you just look after your

daughter

um

well he got well yeah he didn't really

say much about that he said um

he was like i just want to know where

hotel is

and

so i got stroppy

er

marched into the room and just took over

okay so you took over the

the responsibilities for sofia at that

point yeah yeah and and dave what would

he do then

oh he kind of watched for a minute and

then he uh left and

flicked on the telly

okay

so it sounds

just based on on how you said it is this

what typically happens is this the

pattern

yeah

yeah yeah i mean

don't get me wrong dave is a fantastic

father

and

if i gave him all of the touch points

like i said

can you please click can you please pack

the dishwasher and do that like do you

want to do clean do you want to clean up

or do you want to

do bath

he would do

he'd buy oh okay i'll do it i'll do the

dishwasher

okay well you'd have to i'd have to be

very explicit

with him and

normally i'm i don't mind doing that

like saying hey you know and if he

doesn't do a very good job

of

cleaning the after the meal that's fine

i'll

finish up

okay so is there a sense then that a lot

of the arguments that you're having at

the moment are practical of nature it's

kind of like

it's there's a lot of things that you

need to do in a in a tight time frame

before bed um and so

there's kind of an urgency there and

pressure to get them done before bed and

that you find that at the moment

the nature of the arguments

are really about getting those jobs done

and having to kind of guide him and not

wanting to or does the or do the

arguments extend beyond those practical

aspects

um

it's kind of

yes it is that practical thing but it's

also

that

how can't you

i almost feel like why can't you see me

like why can't you see

right now that i

am

obviously stressed out i am

obviously like having a bit of a

struggle here

and i need you to pick up your game in

not just the practical things because

that's like you said like that's an

obvious

help

like

can you check in on me can you be

interested in me a little bit more um

like

yeah i can't make sense keep giving yeah

i'm just trying to make sense of when

the snappiness occurs um with what you

were mentioning there i mean they all

sound like very stressful things to have

to do

uh you know making sure that you sofia

is being looked after and cared for

and so i was curious if it extended

beyond that to other parts and it most

certainly sounds like for you

it's the sense of he's not checking in

with you checking in on how how with

what's going on for you and how you're

feeling and how you're coping with being

back at school etc that kind of is

missing um almost completely

well

well like i when the a little bit when

the two weeks changed at the start

it was like

his

remark to that was oh that'd be right

you get more holidays

okay

cool thank you

you know that that's not why

and i am at work might not have kids

students but we're at work so that kind

of feeling like

so maybe feeling hurt

yeah it does

um and like i what i do isn't as

important as what he does

as he said those sorts of things before

prior to term four kind of thing

um

yes but kind of

i said i don't know like i suppose i

could take it as a joke then

like

always there's a lot about how much time

off we get

teachers that he likes to make jokes

about

um

we're just fine every everybody does and

once and i am fine with laughing about

it but

i just i don't need it

from him

yeah

can i ask when you were speaking to your

mum about this so it sounded like that

was an opportunity for you to you know

um

let a number of things off of your you

know chest as it were um what was the

kind of focus of that sort of discussion

because you mentioned that was really

pivotal to getting you to

talk to the gp and come along

um what was the kind of nature of that

conversation

i suppose i was very

i was pretty teary talking to mom i was

just feeling

very

this sounds ridiculous because

like we're in brisbane i'm not in

victoria but feeling kind of isolated a

little bit

and um

because my usual group of girlfriends

that i see and hang out with my my best

friend my closest girlfriend she um

she's going through all of her own drama

she has um

ocd

um and it's based around germs so with

this covered star

i just i've seen her three times over

the last

like in person face to face over the

last

two years

um

and talking on facetime or doing zoom or

doing this

is can be exhausting as well

um

and

i don't know how to support her

and she would typically be somebody i

would

vent to like you know

you talk to your girlfriends about

your partners and everything yeah um

yeah and i just haven't

had that because she's not in any

place to kind of take anything in

um

sure

so also feeling like i haven't got

my friends with me

oh it's terrible so i mean that sounds

terrible for your friend with what's

going on there for her at the moment um

so to not have that kind of source of

support and also be concerned for her as

well um

you know that's a that's a double

sort of hit really

um

but you had mum to to kind of vent to at

that point and the nature of the the

kind of discussion was really about you

feeling the sense of being isolated um

so a sense of feeling isolated from

uh dave because the sense kind of from

what you were saying was he's not really

tuning in to how you're feeling and what

you're doing

um and when he did

for based on what you're saying what he

when he does talk to you it seems to be

well

do this or do that or where's this

where's that

um but he doesn't seem to be inquiring

in about you

and then with covert and everything

and then with what's happened to your

friend you haven't had the friend input

to to support you and

um

and that's leaving you feeling

a sense of isolation

yeah yeah i have felt

alone and almost like

you can't

because of being in brisbane like you

can't kind of um

we weren't like victoria we weren't

locked in our houses

so you can't kind of

like you're not allowed to complain

about that

even though it's happening everywhere

like this covered stuff is happening

everywhere and everybody is

has in some way had that sense of

isolation i think

um

and something i'm allowed to complain

about is that yeah yeah you're not

allowed to and

is that how it feels for you that's how

i feel yeah

and

then that makes you

like i like being around people and

that's the thing right um

anna my friend with ocd

her response to covet is

everybody leave me alone i want no one

with me

ever

and i want the opposite it's like i'm

just craving to be with my friends to be

with my family i miss everybody i feel

very sad about

everything we've had to miss because of

this

oh god

um

how does that leave you feeling then

this sense of even with my closest

friend there's this kind of

disconnection or isolation

um

well i it's hot and because she's she is

unwell

i feel like

as frustrated as i am about it and if i

bring it up like i can't complain about

it because if that's out of her control

and if i bring it up with dave

um he

he has

no

kind of

capacity

to grasp that situation other than

i don't know why she'd be

why she's so paranoid

wear a mask wash your hands it's not a

big deal there's hardly any you're not

going to die from it

oh my god okay yes yeah and that's how i

feel too

sometimes with mirror i'm like oh my

gosh

okay

but i need to be able to have those

conversations with

without having to defend her i don't

know i just feel

i see so

you know even when you just want to talk

to dave in a supportive way

um about what's happened with anna

there's a within you this sense of he's

so dismissive of her suffering in in in

a way that you have to then go in and

and sort of uh fight for her if you will

on her behalf and it's like no this

isn't what i wanted to

to be connecting with you on dave i

wanted to be

kind of you supporting me in the sense

of

my poor friend's suffering isolated i'm

struggling i need support and

tuned into into that frequency um at all

is that right yeah exactly like

okay you've missed the point you've

missed that this is

yep it sucks what's going on with her

but i'm i feel lonely too i feel sad i

miss my friend

there's a sense of um you're doing a lot

you're caring for sofia um

dave relies on you for a lot of those

practical things as well um there's

obviously your students and in the class

that need you your friend needs you um

and you're having to take a lot of

responsibility and

given that the circumstances

in brisbane that you've mentioned have

been pretty good and um

and things generally speaking of going

it seems okay for you in terms of you

know don't have ocd as the comparison

kind of thing there's the sense i can't

really complain about my my situation

which kind of leaves you

i suppose talking to mum

yeah i suppose there's mum

and

i have a friend at school

who i talk to a little bit as well about

different things but mostly just mum

i see

and did all of this happen

all of this kind of coming together for

you is that what was talked to mum about

and then what led to see talking to the

gp then and then our time now together

yeah i'd say so

um

at this point sarah

would be okay if i just asked you a

couple of other questions because it

seems like at the moment

there's a hell of a lot of things that

you're juggling

and uh everyone you're kind of making

sure everyone else is cared for

uh

yet no one seems to be really turned in

towards you caring for you

but thankfully mum was there

just to get more of a sense of what's

going on got going on for you at the

moment just curious um just a couple of

other things um just about you um as a

person uh would it be all right at this

point if i just asked a little bit more

about you just to get a better

understanding of sarah yeah yeah yeah

yeah

um

well sarah what led you to teaching is

teaching something that you know you've

always wanted to to do is it your kind

of profession of choice

yeah absolutely um

it's

a real

vocation for me it was a real kind of

calling um

i love it i'm from a family of teachers

um

okay the

school i'm at now i've been here six

years but um

my dad worked here for

over like nearly 30 years this is

cool yeah so a little bit of a legacy

there and yeah no i i love

my job i love teaching yeah

and uh how was it being at the school

with your dad it sounded like based on

what you said that he may have uh

i don't know left or retired or

something he retired he's he's retired

now um

look it was great

starting at a new school

because dad and i had

about 18 months crossover

and so that was really nice like

starting at a school and knowing

somebody there already and a lot of the

staff knew me like

because they'd been there for so long

they knew me when i was younger

and

they get

really really nice um

bit of a legacy to

let you see everyone kind of um

yeah often asked about him want to know

how he's going

expectations that you'll be

like him

yeah oh okay

so not necessarily a good thing then is

is that right oh i suppose

um

[Music]

at this

school i've been able to make more of my

own way now

that um he's been gone he's not been

teaching now for the last three years so

that's been

good

and i've been able to make more of my

own space there

i suppose it's more the relationship

with dad and myself

um

because

it's great because we have a shorthand

he knows who i'm talking about um he can

give me the inside scoop on what

dynamics work and things like that but

um

it also means i get a lot of his input

and

he knows the best way to do things and i

offer and

you got to bite your tongue with him as

well

well i have to yeah

okay i'm i'm so sorry

sorry it sounds like that is is this

what you're saying he just tells you

what to do and you prefer him not to is

that what you're saying i'm just a bit

confused sorry so he's a bit like that

yes so at the

sometimes it's really great

um but when yeah when he

tells

me how to handle a difficult kid

or

he

has to or he tells me how i should

approach a situation with a fellow staff

member

like all right i don't need i'm just i

just need you to listen

um i'm asking for you to solve my

problems

um

and we have two very different teaching

styles and in two different departments

and

um usually i'm very good and maybe it's

just because he's retired and he's

i don't know but um i'm usually pretty

good with him

and

can handle it but lately i just have had

no patience

for being told how to do my job

okay so yeah there is definitely tension

there then on when you talk to him about

it

your work he kind of goes into okay

do this this this and this and uh it's

kind of like

dad that's not what i'm wanting and so

it's again a sense of hey dad i'm trying

to get support from you but again you're

not seeing that um you're just telling

me what to do and uh i am not you

yeah

yeah

so that is in a way happening with uh

dave as well he's not seeing what you

need um

he's not tuned into what you want and

dad's not tuned in to what you want

either

dad i'm not looking for you to solve my

problems i'm looking forward to be

um you know a sense of support

yeah yeah emotional support perhaps more

than

then sort of like solve my problems

definitely yeah definitely that

emotional support like you he gets it he

gets the

long hours he gets the ex after you know

the

nine to three the extra work that you

have to do so like you i expect that

we're just

yeah i just want you to agree with me

i see

so i mean teaching is definitely your a

sense of vocation for you so something

you're really passionate about so

something that's really important to you

and so

and then having these discussions with

dad who has somewhat of a legacy um at

the school i mean there's a certain

romance to some of that but there's also

this massive trade-off where there's a

sense that um

he kind of still looks down at you as

perhaps his daughter who needs to be

told what to do

and again similarly david looks down at

your job not being as as important as

his

um

and uh you're kind of again

left somewhat isolated

is this a in terms of

concern for you with that with the

attention

just on a scale of 1 to 10 10 being like

really stressed out um and one not

stressed at all

how much of your time do you find you're

stressed with

with this issue with

dad um

i guess to get a sense probably i would

say maybe

between like a five or a six

um that is a moderate amount right this

isn't yeah

yeah so it's almost like i don't want to

talk about school with him

i don't want to talk about work

okay and when you go to bed at night and

you say the mind tip it sort of trips

over and

starts racing with thought what are the

patterns of thought that it races with

is it about these concerns or is it

about other things

um it's

uh

usually

about

my workload or what i've got to plan

what's that

like a to-do list kind of thing yeah

yeah yeah um

i'll worry about

sophia

just typical mum stuff

um and then

what

did i say wrong today who

okay yeah like what could how could i

have handled situations better

essentially yeah

okay

is there a way

is there a kind of when you reflect on

what i could have done better i mean is

that a pattern that you've noticed a

long time that you reflect on these are

the things that i should have done

better

today or

um

probably once again from like that

um six october-ish

oh okay yeah

kind of time

um

a lot of

of that

i guess guilt about how i have

handled things or that i said um handle

things poorly

or haven't had

the patience to do things

the way i normally would

and feeling very just self like

judgmental of myself about um

about

my actions or my interactions with

people

what are some of those judgments sarah

um

[Music]

well

there's um

there's a teacher i i teach with um

a teacher i teach with i have a teaching

partner and um

he has been a really great support to me

over

[Music]

well

pro like over all of covid really so

since 2020

um but particularly in the last few

months

um

being able to talk to him has been

really great and

sometimes i feel guilty or

yeah guilty that

maybe do we talk too much um are we too

flirty do

why do i keep thinking about you kind of

thing and then um

i worry about that

at night and

yeah and i think sometimes when i feel

guilty about

having fun with this um

teacher

it makes me and this is weird right like

i might feel guilty about my

relationship like how i talk with

um this teacher his name's rob if i how

i talk to rob

um

i'll feel guilty about it and then

i get angry quicker

with dave

there's a lot of guilt that gets

felt

with

what is happening with rob

yeah and that spills over to you then

when you're with dave

um getting angry at dave

yeah because i'm oh i can i know that i

shouldn't think like this but i'll think

i wouldn't have to

tell rob

i'm having a hard time i don't have i

wouldn't have to say

can you make dinner

i like

okay and then that i'm like

then that makes me angry like then i

snap it

even then i feel guilty that that's even

what i thought

and then i feel bad that i got angry

yeah

okay so so there there is this kind of

sense that when you're

that you're with dave you're kind of

um in some ways um contrasting and

comparing him to rob

yep and i don't want to like i l i love

dave i love our life

um

he's a fabulous husband i know i have

just said all these

annoying things about him but i love him

and we have a beautiful daughter

together and i have no desire to

leave that

for anyone or anything

i see

but i keep

thinking

about

rob and i keep thinking about

i get excited to see him or if he sends

me a text i i'm excited about

whatever we don't text a lot

about what might you know oh have a

little chat

and then i feel terrible

i see i see

how are you feeling uh just bringing

this up with me then

um

confused like

it feels really good because i think

it's been playing on my mind a lot

um so it's very nice to say it out loud

um

but i also feel like you're probably

really judging me and thinking i'm a

terrible

wife and mother and that i am

based on that

is that what plays on your mind

in just day to day that if alice were to

know if others found out

they're going to judge me in this really

negative way what would they be judging

what would they be thinking

um

that i'm

throwing things away

um

throwing things away

thank you

they'd be thinking like look at her

she's throwing things away is that yeah

like um she has this beautiful

family

and

what it would like that i end that i'm a

bad person

that i'm cheating on my

husband

that

yeah

i work in a catholic school and like

that i'm not upholding

those kinds of values

all right

so um if if people were to find out

about

what's happened

or what's happening with rob are these

are the different thoughts they'd have

that you know you're not holding up the

values of the school

and look what you're throwing away

how could you be cheating

how does this leave you feeling sarah

um

terrible

pretty sad

and

i have to

like just

stop

but i don't want to either

oh yeah you're saying stop to yourself

there just stop what you're doing with

rob is that what you mean yeah yeah yeah

and but

you don't want to it's a yeah you know

it's like really nice attention

um

and to be like very honest um

he and i at the end of last year

we had after work drinks there was a

group of us and

he and i had a little kiss it wasn't we

haven't slept together we haven't done

anything like that

and after it happened i was very

i regret it so much

and

um

you know we went on school holidays

shortly after and

we hardly spoke at all

and now

we're both year nine teachers again and

we're both

in the same small office again and it

just and

it's just really i i

i hate it but i really it's exciting

yeah

and it certainly sounds like

at least from rob he's tuning in to how

you're or what you're kind of wanting as

a and which is not what you've been

getting

for a while that sounds like um

from other important people in your life

yeah yeah he's

he's great he's he's um

he knows all the right questions to ask

you know like interested in

how things are and

always wants to see photos of sophia and

um

us about me

yeah yeah of course

and that leaves you feeling

how does it leave you feeling

um

this is so dumb but like

like

a new like you you know like when you

start dating someone for the first time

like um

feeling really special

uh but

uh then

and then in the moment that's how i feel

and then

after

afterwards or

like even on the drive home from work

as soon as i see stuff i

like hate myself like i hate it

i mean this is very intense and

significant

and uh that sense of you know

i hate what i'm doing but i don't want

it to stop

must be very frustrating like this whole

kind of like just wanting to almost like

springing

out the frustration uh but have no one

to turn to really to

yeah like yeah

and that

my head like doesn't stop

yeah same at night do you find you spend

a lot of time then when you mention this

idea about what should i have done is is

that kind of that night that is that

should have done this or shouldn't have

done that is that

about rob in in the relationship with

him and dave and and what you want to do

yeah absolutely and

yeah like just

yeah just that whole

and i just don't know what to do about

it but then again it just

or i'll make a decision at nine i'll be

like no i'm gonna do this tomorrow

nothing changes

okay

um

i mean this is

not ideal but we are running uh to the

end of our time

unfortunately um today

uh but we've touched on something very

significant

uh it sounds uh

you know

you mentioned what's going on at the

moment

between what you're doing

uh with rob uh which ended in a kiss uh

at the end of last year

um

and having a break it seems you said

there over the holiday period but now

being thrust into each other's daily

lives again there's a lot of perhaps

unsaid things or things yet to be worked

out on what's actually going on there in

that relationship

is that right so there's a lot of

unclarity uncertainty on what's going on

there and

and so on um equally is there for you

uncertainty on what you'd like to do

in this situation like you're sort of

unsure

as to what it is that you would like to

do because that's certainly something we

can just openly

uh discuss in therapy just your

chance to just

be able to talk through all possibility

as as opposed to a certain one type of

possibility

um i

would really

yeah i think i really need that

i see because i can't get it straight

okay well i mean it's terrible as i said

that

our timing in today's session that

if we were to start to close down our

time today but think perhaps if we were

to connect again in a week's time and in

a week's time we can kind of pick it up

from this important point around

how you're feeling in relation to rob

um what it is that plays on your mind

and we can

think about that a little bit more

and in those actions and what you might

want to

do or not do

and how that ties in

with dave and so on we can make that

relationship aspects the real

central focus of next week would that be

okay yeah i'd really like that actually

yeah

okay

well i mean sarah it's been

lovely getting to know you uh today and

and hearing about sofia and also about

you know just how passionate um you love

your school teaching and your work

um

with that though has come an awful

amount of stress with covert hitting and

all the different variations to how we

go about teaching your semesters have

been shifted around a lot of things

outside of your control keep getting

moved which are having direct impacts on

you

and you know it's

as if it weren't going to have an impact

when things had just shifted

last minute and you're having to do all

this extra planning um and then the

stress of having to manage all the home

stuff as well and feel unsupported and

isolated

it can knock us around um

and yet you seemingly uh based on what

you're saying putting everyone you know

your friends needs

uh

really important to you with with anna

you're really worried and concerned and

making sure you support sofia in the

best ways you can in terms of being a

mum

i mean it's a very it's difficult to do

it all isn't it

yeah

it's really nice hearing that it is it

is it does feel difficult sometimes yeah

and it's hard to know where to turn

where to go when we're dealing with

these kinds of

you know life circumstances

it's not easy

okay well

next week we'll touch base if anything

were to come up between now and next

week that you really want to make a

focus um of our session for next week do

feel free to

to drop an email there and uh and we can

make sure that becomes a focus of next

week

but i'd just like to thank you for your

time today sarah and

if it's possible on transitioning out of

here

um to

everyday life as it were if you were

able to take five minutes or so just to

do something to

to take care of your own needs

to allow you to

transition back into

the responsibilities at home whether it

be

you know

just a moment like uh what did you call

it just taking a beat for yourself take

a bit for yourself before

that can be helpful as opposed to just

going straight back into having to do

everything

okay

well thank you sarah and um

i'll send you a zoom link for our uh

for our session next week all right

thank you

thank you sarah bye