Changing the game in youth sports: John O'Sullivan at TEDxBend

Summary

The speaker, a former athlete and coach, reflects on the reasons why 70% of children quit youth sports by age 13. He recounts an experience watching his daughter's soccer game and contrasts it with a more competitive environment where adults' pressure on kids destroys the fun and learning aspect of sports. The speaker advocates for a positive change, emphasizing that children play sports for fun, not for winning. He encourages parents and coaches to support their children with simple, impactful words: 'I love watching you play,' to foster a healthier, more enjoyable sports experience.

Takeaways

• ⚽ Youth sports have a high dropout rate: 70% of kids quit by age 13.
• 😢 Negative behavior from adults—such as yelling and pressuring—contributes to children quitting sports.
• 🧒 Children's experience of sports is often overshadowed by the competitive mindset of adults, especially parents and coaches.
• 🎯 The top reason kids play sports is fun, not winning. Pressure to win leads to anxiety and quitting.
• 🛑 Many children feel stressed by the financial and time commitments their parents make for sports.
• ⏳ Kids face pressure from coaches to specialize in one sport year-round, which can lead to burnout.
• 💬 One of the worst experiences for kids is the post-game car ride where parents critique their performance.
• 👀 A powerful way to support young athletes is for parents to simply say, 'I love watching you play,' which reduces stress and enhances performance.
• 🏅 Success in sports should be about growth, learning from failure, and enjoying the process, not just about winning.
• 🛠 Changing the culture of youth sports requires a shift towards prioritizing children's mental well-being and giving them ownership over their sports experience.

Q & A

Why do 70% of children quit youth sports by the age of 13?

Children often quit youth sports because of pressure from coaches and parents, negative criticism, fear of making mistakes, and an overemphasis on winning rather than having fun.

What was the main difference observed between the 5-year-old and 10-year-old soccer games?

The 5-year-old soccer game was joyful, with children laughing and having fun without pressure, while the 10-year-old game was filled with negative behavior from adults, with parents and coaches yelling at the players.

What is the 'Great Giant Race to Nowhere' in youth sports?

The 'Great Giant Race to Nowhere' refers to the intense pressure on children to compete more, start younger, and commit excessively to a single sport, leading to burnout, negative experiences, and children quitting sports.

How do most children feel about adults' involvement in their sports activities?

Children often feel pressured and overwhelmed by adults' involvement, as many coaches and parents treat games as if they were professional-level competitions, adding stress instead of creating a positive and supportive environment.

What are the main reasons why children choose to play sports?

Children play sports primarily because it is fun, they enjoy being with friends, they like the excitement, and they love to learn new skills. Winning is not the main reason they participate.

What is the most important message that parents can convey to their children regarding sports?

The most important message is, 'I love watching you play.' This reinforces that the parents' love and support are not conditional on the child's performance or the outcome of the game.

How does focusing on winning affect young athletes?

Focusing on winning can lead to negative experiences for young athletes, such as a fear of making mistakes, reduced playing time, and pressure to perform, which eventually causes many children to quit sports.

How can parents improve the sports experience for their children?

Parents can improve the sports experience by accepting their child's goals, giving them ownership of their sports journey, praising them constructively, allowing them to fail and learn from failure, and simply enjoying watching them play.

What impact did the advice 'I love watching you play' have on Peter Smith and his family?

When Peter Smith started telling his children 'I love watching you play,' it led to a significant positive change in their relationship. His children played better, family life improved, and the negative impact of sports on their off-the-court interactions disappeared.

What is the key to changing youth sports for the better in the United States?

The key to changing youth sports is education—teaching parents and coaches to foster a positive, high-performing mindset, prioritize children's needs and desires, and eliminate unnecessary pressure. This helps create an environment where children can have fun and grow.