You have to listen to yourself

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and authenticity over introspection and external validation. They argue that personal growth comes from embracing discomfort and change, and that true self-expression is not just about what we say or do, but also how we interact with the world. The script encourages nurturing positivity, being present, and treating oneself with kindness to foster a genuine understanding of oneself.

Takeaways

• 💡 We spend too much time thinking about who we are, instead of perceiving and expressing ourselves naturally.
• 🔍 Self-discovery is less about active learning and more about listening to how we feel in different situations.
• 🏃‍♂️ Running from discomfort is often running from personal growth, but embracing discomfort can lead to personal development.
• 📈 Growth comes from broadening our definition of self and making space for change, rather than confining ourselves to preconceived notions.
• 👁️ Self-awareness is about being present and noticing the parts of ourselves we often hide from the world and even from ourselves.
• 🎨 Expression isn’t limited to what we say or write; it involves how we interact with the world around us.
• 👍 It's important to recognize and appreciate yourself for simply being you, even in small achievements.
• 🌍 The universe is filled with signs of support, and it’s crucial to be present enough to recognize them.
• 💪 Positive growth happens when we are intentional about it, replacing bad habits with good ones instead of leaving a void.
• ❤️ True self-fulfillment comes from understanding and loving ourselves unconditionally, not from external validation or material success.

Q & A

What does the speaker suggest we spend too much time doing instead of truly perceiving ourselves?

The speaker suggests that we spend too much time in thought, referencing things that aren't necessarily characteristic of us, rather than perceiving ourselves.

How does the speaker believe we can better express ourselves?

The speaker believes that we can better express ourselves by listening to how we feel and how we are in certain situations, rather than running away from our feelings.

What does the speaker think is the key to personal growth?

The speaker thinks the key to personal growth is the willingness to listen to oneself and the ability to create space for change and self-expression.

Why does the speaker say we should not disregard our feelings?

The speaker says we should not disregard our feelings because running from our feelings is equivalent to running from ourselves.

What does the speaker mean by 'broadening your definition of who you are'?

The speaker means that by expanding our understanding and acceptance of our multifaceted nature, we create space for growth and self-expression without being confined by a narrow self-image.

How does the speaker view the relationship between our aspirations and our self-expression?

The speaker views our aspirations as integral to our self-expression, suggesting that they help define who we are and contribute to our personal progression.

What does the speaker suggest is the best way to deal with discomfort when seeking change?

The speaker suggests that the best way to deal with discomfort when seeking change is to embrace it as a part of growth and to not avoid the parts of ourselves that seek change.

Why does the speaker believe it's important to be present and aware?

The speaker believes it's important to be present and aware to truly see and understand all aspects of ourselves, especially the parts we may hide from the world and from ourselves.

What role does the speaker think external validation plays in our self-perception?

The speaker thinks external validation can be misleading and that we should focus on internal validation and self-love to maintain a healthy self-perception.

How does the speaker define 'positive growth'?

The speaker defines 'positive growth' as growth that occurs with intention and presence, leading to an agentic role in one's own change and development.

What does the speaker mean when they say 'our presence is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves'?

The speaker means that by being fully present with ourselves, we can better understand and validate ourselves, leading to unconditional self-love and a fulfilling life.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Embracing Self-Awareness and Expression

This paragraph explores how we often spend too much time thinking about ourselves rather than perceiving and expressing who we truly are. The speaker emphasizes that self-awareness comes from being present and listening to our feelings in different situations. Running away from discomfort is akin to running away from ourselves, and growth requires embracing change and expanding our definition of who we are. By allowing ourselves to see and accept every part of who we are, we can foster personal growth and self-awareness.

05:01

🔍 Separating Expression from Self-Criticism

The speaker explains that it is crucial to detach personal attacks from specific expressions of ourselves. This separation allows us to analyze and improve situations without feeling attacked at our core. By understanding that searching for oneself is not about finding something new but realizing what is already present, we can better listen to and understand our emotions. Running from one’s aspirations and desires prevents true self-awareness, and others' perspectives of us are filtered through their own experiences, making self-definition a personal task.

10:02

🌍 Navigating Complex Interactions and Self-Validation

Here, the focus is on understanding that everyone has their own complex life, and not every reaction we receive is about us. It is essential to recognize our own complexities without constantly comparing ourselves to others. Desiring without expectation allows us to understand that what the world offers is often what we need, not necessarily what we want. The speaker highlights that validation and confidence must come from within, not from external factors. Understanding the distinction between internal desires and external realities is key to self-growth.

15:04

💡 The Importance of Intentional Growth and Self-Exploration

This paragraph delves into the role of conscious intention in personal growth. The speaker emphasizes that while growth happens naturally, positive growth requires deliberate effort. By being present and intentional in how we navigate challenges, we can transcend negative experiences. The speaker warns against relying on external comparisons for self-growth, noting that self-exploration and positive change must be grounded in one's internal understanding rather than external perceptions or comparisons.

Keywords

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize and understand one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness as a means of personal growth and authenticity. They suggest that being aware of one's feelings and reactions in different situations is crucial for understanding who we are. For example, the speaker says, 'I feel like in a lot of ways to run from your feeling is to run from yourself,' highlighting the connection between emotional awareness and self-identity.

💡Expression

Expression refers to the act of conveying thoughts, feelings, or ideas using a particular medium or method. The video discusses how individuals often underestimate the ease with which they can express their true selves compared to the effort they put into thinking about it. The speaker argues that we should be more willing to listen to our feelings and let them guide our self-expression. An example from the script is, 'I feel like we spend too much time in reference to things that aren't necessarily characteristic of us,' which suggests that our expressions should be more aligned with our intrinsic nature.

💡Change

Change, in the context of the video, represents the process of transformation and growth. The speaker mentions that people often avoid change because it can be uncomfortable, but it is necessary for personal development. They believe that embracing change allows us to evolve and better understand ourselves. The script states, 'a lot of times, we spend time running away from the parts of ourselves that seek out change,' illustrating the resistance to change and its significance in self-discovery.

💡Discomfort

Discomfort is a feeling of unease or distress, often arising from unfamiliar or challenging situations. The video script uses discomfort as a signpost for personal growth, suggesting that it is not the world or circumstances that cause discomfort, but rather our own resistance to change and self-understanding. The speaker says, 'I find that this discomfort is never really with the world around us, or the circumstance but more so, ourselves and our understanding of who we are,' indicating that discomfort can be a catalyst for self-exploration and development.

💡Positivity

Positivity is a mindset characterized by optimism, hope, and a focus on the good aspects of life. The speaker in the video encourages nurturing positivity as a means to improve one's life and character. They believe that by focusing on positive thoughts and actions, we can overcome challenges and foster personal growth. An example from the script is, 'I feel like in making your life intimate it's not necessarily about being delusional but taking what you need to take from the world,' which implies that a positive approach to life can lead to a more fulfilling existence.

💡Negativity

Negativity is the opposite of positivity, representing a pessimistic or adverse outlook on life. In the video, the speaker discusses how nurturing negativity can hinder personal growth and lead to a less satisfying life experience. They suggest that it's important to shift our focus away from negative thoughts and emotions to cultivate a more positive self-image. The script mentions, 'there was definitely a time where I feel like I nurtured negativity,' illustrating the impact of negativity on one's life and the importance of changing this pattern.

💡Growth

Growth in the video refers to personal development and the process of becoming a better version of oneself. The speaker talks about how growth is not just about acquiring new things but also about understanding and accepting oneself. They emphasize the importance of being present and intentional in our growth journey. As the speaker says, 'I feel like growth is sort of a thing that happens no matter what,' indicating that personal growth is an inevitable part of life, but how we approach it can significantly impact our experience.

💡Presence

Presence means being fully engaged and attentive in the current moment. The video script highlights the importance of being present with oneself as a means to understand and validate one's experiences. The speaker suggests that by being present, we can better listen to our feelings and express ourselves authentically. They state, 'I feel like that type of awareness is only characteristic of people who allow themselves to be aware of it,' emphasizing the role of presence in achieving self-awareness.

💡Self-love

Self-love is the practice of appreciating and caring for oneself. In the video, the speaker talks about the importance of self-love as a foundation for a healthy and fulfilling life. They mention that loving oneself unconditionally can lead to a more positive and authentic existence. The script includes, 'I feel like there's a lot of signs out here... it's just important to be present enough to see them,' suggesting that self-love involves recognizing the positive aspects of life and oneself.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being genuine and true to one's own personality, feelings, and beliefs. The video discusses authenticity as a key component of self-expression and personal fulfillment. The speaker encourages embracing one's true self rather than trying to fit into societal expectations or comparing oneself to others. They say, 'I feel like who we are being expressed is not necessarily just like me writing or me talking,' indicating that authenticity involves expressing oneself in a way that is true to one's own identity.

Highlights

We spend more time thinking about ourselves than perceiving ourselves.

Our identity is more easily expressed than thought or said.

We often disregard our inherent medium of self-expression.

Learning about oneself is about willingness to listen to one's feelings.

Running from our feelings is running from ourselves.

Discomfort arises from our understanding of who we are.

Growth comes from embracing the parts of ourselves that seek change.

Broadening our definition of self allows for personal growth.

True emergence as a person comes from self-awareness.

Self-awareness is characteristic of those who allow themselves to be aware.

It's important to listen to our feelings and attitudes.

Our interactions with the world contribute to our self-expression.

We need creative outlets to express ourselves.

Giving ourselves credit for being ourselves is important.

Having a positive mentality is an affirmation of self-love.

Being present allows us to see the signs of the universe's affection.

Our life is a reflection of our willingness to nurture positivity or negativity.

Nurturing positivity makes life easier and harder in a meaningful way.

Separating ourselves from situations helps in addressing problems.

Asking 'why' is important, but understanding the motivation behind asking is crucial.

Realizing that we are already here is more important than finding ourselves.

Allowing ourselves to be expressed is key to personal growth.

Recognizing ourselves as a friend and treating ourselves well is essential.

Conscious effort and intention are necessary for personal progression.

Growth happens when we are forced to be present, whether through positive or negative experiences.

Comparing ourselves to the outside world can lead to losing track of our true selves.

Our expression of self is not limited to our thoughts but also our actions.

Replacing bad habits with good ones is necessary for personal development.

Understanding and being happy with our self-understanding brings fulfillment.

Our presence is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

Transcripts

I think when it comes to learning about

ourselves we spend more time in thought

about it than actually perceiving

ourselves and I feel like that's simply

because we don't realize that who we are

is much more easily expressed than it is

thought or said and when I say that I

really just mean that I feel like we

spend too much time in reference to

things that aren't necessarily

characteristic of us in saying that I

think we're more easily expressed and

thought and said I'm saying that the way

which we choose to articulate ourselves

or the way we choose to speak through

whatever language or whatever medium we

we need to to express ourselves we

disregard the fact that there already is

a medium that exists which is

you I feel like in learning about

yourself is not really about your you

know effort to learn about yourself but

more so your willingness to listen to

how you feel and how you are in certain

situations and I feel like in a lot of

ways to run from your feeling is to run

from yourself I feel like a lot of times

we spend time running away from the

parts of ourselves that seek out change

simply because it's uncomfortable but I

find that this discomfort is never

really with I guess the world around us

or the circumstance but more so

ourselves and our understanding of who

we are and sometimes I understand uh

feeling as if who you are or attributing

more to yourself somewhat jeopardizes

who you thought you were but I feel like

it's that

jeopardizes to growth it's almost like

the more you pull yourself into a cage

the more you keep yourself stagnant the

more contradictions will exist as it

pertains to your character and I find a

lot of comfort in sort of broadening

your definition of who you are to the

point where it doesn't matter how much

you attribute to yourself or how much

you gain because you've already created

enough space for that to exist and I

feel like that's where you truly emerge

as a person or at least start to take

your steps towards becoming who you

really are becoming aware of who you

really are because I feel like that type

of awareness is only characteristic of

um people who allow themselves to be

aware of it you know you have to give

yourself enough perception and you have

to open your eyes and be present enough

to see all the parts in pieces that you

sort of hide from the world especially

hide from yourself and I don't think

it's only just important to see I think

it's also very important to listen I

feel like our feelings and our attitudes

and the way we express ourselves and

each and everything that contributes to

the steps that we take in our

progression towards ourselves our goals

or

aspirations help us Define who we are I

feel like who we are being expressed is

not necessarily just like me writing or

me talking or me you know saying

something very characteristic of that

expression but also me interacting with

the world around me or interacting with

everything around me I feel like a lot

of things in life aren't necessarily

just that single expression like if I

write something it's not not necessarily

just me that's not all I am that's not

the only way I can express myself to see

myself but I feel like sometimes we need

those creative Outlets or those simple

things that sort of bring us back to

ourselves or make us feel most like

ourselves in order to sort of express

ourselves to us because I feel like a

lot of times our gratitude is not

necessar necessarily misplaced but you

know underrepresented I feel like we

don't give ourselves enough credit for

being ourselves and sometimes you need

to patch your on the back just for being

alive or being able to I guess want to

sort of continue to grow and I feel like

having that mentality or even wanting

better for yourself is sort of a

affirmation of your own love for

yourself and I feel like there's a lot

of signs out here I feel like everything

in a way is a sign of the universe's

affection and it's just important to be

present enough to see them I feel like

in making your life intimate it's not

necessarily about being delusional but

taking what you need to take from the

world I feel like all these things sort

of exist at the same time when it comes

to our positivity and negativity and

what's out there and when they say

you're either living your own personal

heaven or hell I feel like it's very

true it's just about how much you're

willing to nurture each one in order to

allow it to be expressed in your

character and when it comes to me there

was definitely a time where I feel like

I nurtured negativity but nowadays I try

to nurture the positive and since I've

been doing that like in all honesty

everything in my life has gotten easier

and in a lot of ways it's gotten harder

and when I say it's gotten hard I don't

necessarily mean my perception but in

terms of what I actually do I feel like

it's more difficult stuff but it's easy

but it's only easy because of the

affirmation and the positivity I posit

in myself you know to realize that it's

possible means I too can do it and I try

not

to degrade myself mentally at all like

even if I do bad on something or even if

if I express myself in a way I feel like

it's unbefitting of myself in the moment

I don't take it as a personal attack to

my character but a personal attack to

that specific instantiation of my

expression and I feel like once you

separate yourself from the situation in

that sense it makes it easier to see

your expression and to actually attack

the problems that led to that whatever

circumstance cuz I feel like asking why

is important but why you're asking why

is the more important attribute to to

anything that we're curious about

especially with ourselves I feel like in

our quest to find ourselves we lose it

because we're trying to search for

something that's already here and that's

already been here all long and I've said

it in videos before it's not really

about finding yourself but realizing

that you're already here and in

realizing that you're already here you

have to be present enough to see what is

here and I think that's the point of

listening to your expression or

realizing that you're more easily

expressed than

said and I feel like when it comes to

that it's really just about

how much you

allow and how much you give to yourself

in regards to that because I feel like

running from yourself isn't necessarily

just you know you're disregarding of

your feelings but you're disregarding of

your aspirations you're disregarding of

whatever you feel is inherent to you and

I'm not saying you have to do anything

um Grand in order to be yourself but I'm

saying in in an effort to understand

yourself or effort to understand your

certain expression and instantiation in

this world there has to to be some type

of subject and if you're not going to be

the medium at which you use to to sort

of see yourself then all you're left

with is how other people see you and how

other people see you is only seen

through the medium of

themselves and I'm not saying that

everyone's perspective of you was biased

I'm not saying that you know you can't

be way somebody said you were but what

I'm saying is if you're going to have

any definition for yourself which I

think you we should have you know you

have to be the one to get it I feel like

you have to vest your foundation a lot

of times in yourself in order to have

that type of Integrity to move forward

with yourself cuz it life is a very

difficult road and it definitely gets

lonely especially if the person you're

with all the time isn't someone you like

namely yourself that's why I feel like

it's important to recognize yourself as

a friend and treat yourself like one cuz

if you don't treat yourself like a

friend then you're just taking up your

own space for no reason and if you take

a space I feel like you might as well

use it you know I feel like a lot of

conscious effort and conscious intention

has to go into your progression as a

person especially if you want to do so

intimately and in a way that I feel like

is beneficial cuz while I say stuff like

this I think that people are going to

grow regardless I feel like growth is

sort of a thing that happens no matter

what but in terms of Positive Growth and

being an agent for your own change I

feel like that's where the presence and

intention comes in because I feel like

our growth really only happens in

periods where we're forced to be present

whether that be a negative experience or

a POS POS but in an effort to be present

on your own I feel like we're able to

sort of transcend those obstacles of

those negative experiences that we call

like sometimes character development

moments to the point

where you're no longer being based and

your your change and in who you are and

your growth as a person isn't

necessarily based on anyone but you and

I feel like a lot of times you can't

compete where you don't compare and we

compare ourselves to the outside world

and and so many things around us to the

point where I feel like we lose track of

who we really are and who we really are

I feel like is not the

thought and I was reading a book about

this earlier cuz I I sort of got trapped

in in myself you know thinking oh I'm

exactly as I think myself to be which is

at some in some cases true I feel like

our expression is exactly as we think it

but in limiting ourselves to the

confines of our mind I realize we're

subject to our own change and our own

bias simply because we think so and that

might sound like a little farfetched but

I feel like who we are isn't necessarily

just how we think you know there's also

a fundamental Foundation to it and I

feel like that's where the affirmation

needs to come in cuz I feel like a lot

of who we are isn't necessarily A a

thought thing but a rehearse thing and

that's why I feel like you have to break

the habit of being yourself a lot of

times in regards to that expression in

regards to that you know comfort with

life you know I feel like it's a

practice thing to see the world in sort

of an unstressed way cuz an unstressed I

se an unstressed world I feel like the

more we squint our eyes and search the

more we have obscure Vision we lose

everything around ourselves the more we

look for ourselves in things that aren't

us and that's why I feel like it's

important to sort of stay within

yourself when it comes to your

expression and especially your

perception of it cuz I feel like a lot

of times we look at our reflection we

look at how we're perceived and we take

that personally when I feel like a lot

of things in life aren't necessarily

personally but but personal to whatever

the subject of whatever you're

expressing yourself to like if I go up

to a person and they're having a bad day

and I'm just being myself and they take

me wrong or they they don't like it or

they they just shut it down it's

important for me to recognize that not

everything is inherent to me you know

everyone has their own complex life and

it's important to realize you have your

own and if you can recognize that you

have your own complex life it's

important to not live in reference to

anyone else's complexity but your own

now I'm not saying you can't be

interested in other people at all or

interested in any other thing but I feel

like there's a certain type of curiosity

you can have without questioning

yourself I feel like that's what a sort

of Desiring without expectation is sort

of is sort of grounded on understanding

that what you want and what you feel

like is inherent to you or you want to

be a part of you is not

necessarily in reference to what you

expect to happen you know the world

gives you what you need and not always

what you want and what the world doesn't

give to you you have to give to

yourself and I feel like a lot of times

it's that validation aspect and that

security aspect and that confidence and

whatever pieces and parts of ourselves

we feel like we need to validate with

external

things and I'm realizing our value is

never really been in material because

we're always looking for some sort of

external solution to an internal problem

and a lot of times the problems that we

have internally aren't really problems

as much as they are confrontation with

the idea of

ourselves and

when it comes to confrontation with that

idea I feel like it's more important to

posit positivity while you're

confronting it than negativity I feel

like we can't grow out of negativity or

at least we can't grow positively out of

negative stimulus in that way I feel

like you have to give your energy and

attention to whatever you want to be

present within that thing you you can't

replace your bad habits with absence you

know you have to replace them with

something good otherwise it's going to

be filled in by whatever the world

chooses to throw in in that spot and if

you don't open it yourself then I feel

like it makes life less intimate it

makes whatever feels that vacancy your

vacancies within yourself it makes them

less I wouldn't even say genuine but

less

intentional and I feel like our positive

intention towards creating a better

version of us creates that comfort that

we have in the world cuz if you can't

necessarily not only say pick and choose

each part of you but if you can't

understand why a certain part of you is

present or if you can't

understand your own responsibility in

your I

guess attainment of

self then I don't necessarily

know what the point is

of I guess that sort of self-

exploration I feel like a lot of what we

are and a lot of what we do is really

for self-exploration

like if I go out into this this field or

if I have these aspirations or I have

this this and other I feel like it's

because we attribute so much of

ourselves to that which we desire that

when we actually you know take the steps

to get what we desire we feel good but

it's not necessarily because we get what

we desire but because we feel like parts

of ourselves are being learned about or

are being experienced in that

acquisition of whatever we it is that

we're doing and that's why I feel like

the subtle importance should always be

placed on the self and I don't

necessarily mean that in any type of

selfish way but in a in a sort of

awareness kind of way understanding that

what motivates you at the end of the day

is always going to be you and if you're

conscious enough to realize that then

you're conscious enough to instill

motivation in just being

yourself and I feel like any type of

fulfillment or any type of comfort with

life isn't necessarily from you gaining

everything you want but you gaining an

understanding of yourself in being happy

about that

understanding because if you can wake up

with yourself and be happy for who you

are and be happy that you exist then no

matter what you do and no matter what

you face it will be

worthwhile even the negativity I

experience sometimes I laugh at like

I'll literally be like oh that's that's

funny that happened or like the world is

so beautiful or so complex because

things like that can exist but I can't

have that perspective if I'm constantly

questioning why it is that I exist

you know I feel like if we take a space

we might as well use it and we're here

and if we're going to be here we might

as well be here and in saying that I

really just means our our presence is

the greatest gift that we can give to

ourselves because if we can be present

with ourselves we're able to sort of see

who we are and if we can see who we are

we can validate ourselves with evidence

and if you can validate yourself with

evidence then you can learn to love love

yourself without condition because who

you are will be the Baseline of Your

Love or your the condition of you your

love and as long as you continue to be

yourself or as long as you continue to

be in general then your life will be

filled with the love that you place in

it um all that to say I think we're more

easily expressed than said um and if you

made it this far in the video thank you

so much and if you didn't make it this

far in the video thank you so much I

really do appreciate all you guys for

watching and tuning in um make sure you

guys are taking care of yourself

treating yourself like a friend and

doing what you need to do in order to I

guess persist you know hit up that

friend check on them check on yourself

pat yourself on the back do a couple

push-ups and give yourself a round of

applause all in all thank you keep being

yall keep being great