Trump’s Bad Day In Court | The Bidenomics Goldilocks Zone | Stephen Colbert’s Vibe Session

Summary

This satirical late night show hosted by Steven Colar discusses Donald Trump's ongoing defamation trial and testimony, the sentencing of his former advisor Peter Navarro, Biden's endorsement from the United Auto Workers union, and the current state of the U.S. economy which is showing growth despite concerns about a recession. The host pokes fun at Trump and his legal team throughout while praising Biden's economic record. The show concludes by announcing Martin Short as the evening's guest.

Takeaways

• 😀 Donald Trump testified briefly in court for a defamation case brought by E. Jean Carroll, but was limited by the judge to only answering yes or no questions
• 😡 Trump's attorney Alina Habba claimed she was sick with COVID but was then photographed at a Trump event in NH the next day
• 🤥 The photo was posted by a Trump supporter who was then kicked out of the event for it
• 😱 Former Trump adviser Peter Navarro was sentenced to 4 months in prison for criminal contempt of Congress for his role in the January 6th attack
• 🎸 Trump has been oddly using songs by The Smiths as warmup music at rallies, leading the band's guitarist to denounce him
• 😎 The economy continues to do well with GDP growth, low unemployment, and cooling inflation in a 'Goldilocks' scenario
• 🕺 But people still feel economically uncertain in a 'vibe recession'
• 🥁 President Biden got the endorsement of the United Auto Workers union
• ✨ Biden's endorsements now include planes, trains and automobiles - all modes of transport
• 🎉 The good economic news means Trump's chances in 2024 may be 'a way gone, daddy'

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Outlines

00:00

😆 Trump Testifies in Defamation Trial, Gets Admonished by Judge

Paragraph 1 summarizes Donald Trump's testimony in the defamation trial brought by E. Jean Carroll. Trump was only allowed yes/no questions but went off topic, prompting the judge to instruct the jury to disregard Trump's tangents. The trial follows a previous one where a jury found Trump liable for sexually assaulting Carroll.

05:00

😠 Former Trump Adviser Navarro Sentenced to Prison

Paragraph 2 covers the sentencing of former Trump adviser Peter Navarro to 4 months in prison for criminal contempt of Congress. Navarro refused to testify about his role in the false elector scheme to overturn the 2020 election.

10:02

😂 Trump Campaign Plays Sad Indie Rock Songs at Rallies

Paragraph 3 describes the unlikely musical act that has been opening at recent Trump rallies - the British indie rock band The Smiths. Their melancholy songs clash with the usually pumped up rally atmosphere. The Smiths guitarist has demanded Trump stop using their music.

Keywords

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Highlights

Trump testified briefly in defamation trial against him brought by E. Jean Carroll.

Trump failed to answer questions with just yes or no, instead disregarding judge's instructions.

Defense lawyer claimed illness to delay trial but was then photographed at Trump event.

Trump supporter who posted photo of lawyer kicked out of event and recorded it.

Economic adviser Peter Navarro sentenced to 4 months in prison for contempt of Congress.

Trump playing British indie band The Smiths at rallies, guitarist denounced it.

Biden endorsed by United Auto Workers and other transportation unions.

U.S. economy grew at 3.3% rate last quarter, beating recession predictions.

Though economy looks good, people feel recession dubbed "vibe session" by media.

Host plays bongo music and raps about positive economic indicators.

If economy keeps cooking, will make Trump "a way gone daddy."

Preview of guest Martin Short.

Host enters to applause and music.

Discussion of Trump's sexual assault of E. Jean Carroll.

How Trump team treats loyal supporters when no longer useful.

Transcripts

welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm

your host Steven colar we are right we

are right in the middle we are smack dab

in the heart of primary season and

Donald Trump is out there trying to win

over the voters that matter most his

juries today

today he was back in the Manhattan

courtroom for the second defamation

trial against him brought by egene

Carroll you may remember last May a jury

found that Trump sexually assaulted

Carol and then defamed her by lying

about it a crime known in Republican

circles as presumptive

nominee now I'll tell you all about it

in the latest installment of our ongoing

series road to the White House and or

big house Donald Trump Fe the people

America decides Andor con

F we are an

Institute and a powerful death

penalty now Trump uh he actually

testified today briefly of course the

last time Trump was allowed to speak in

court it went completely off the rails

which did not escape the man overseeing

this case federal district court judge

and Batman's backup

Butler Lewis Kaplan Kaplan set very

strict guidelines for Trump attorney

Alina habba seen here saying I don't

know what happened to your couch as

upholstery why do you

ask habba habba limited herself to a

series of yes or no questions which

Trump failed to answer with just yes or

no instead he did this habba did you

instruct anyone to hurt Ms Caroll Trump

no I just wanted to defend myself my

family and frankly the presidency judge

Kaplan broke in and instructed the jury

to disregard everything after no

which is fitting because the whole trial

is the result of trump disregarding

everything after

no now

Trump

habba trump was supposed to testify on

Monday right this past Monday but the

trial was delayed after a juror got sick

and Alina habba also said she was

feeling ill and had a fever after being

exposed to

covid-19 of course her client right

there could have cured her instantly

with a little horse pace and a shot of

bleach but it turns out she did recover

kind of quickly because the very next

day habo was photographed in New

Hampshire at a trump Victory party

busted reminds me of when I said my

appendix burst then someone snapped a

pick of me front row at Guns and

[Applause]

Roses

some Axel Rose fans here the damning

photo of habo was posted by a DieHard

Trump supporter named Dylan quat truchi

fun fact quat truchi is Italian for four

douchebags

now seems like Trump's team uh realized

immediately this picture was not a great

look for the defense because shortly

after Dylan posted it he was kicked out

of that party and he recorded the

kickout live I'm getting removed from

the Trump event why do I have to leave

sir why are you removing me can you give

me a reason why did Trevor tell you to

remove me I saw Trevor and the guy just

pointed like him to me and said I have

to leave I'm like the biggest Trump guy

here I was the deputy director of The

Campaign this is how they treat loyalty

in Trump World

correct yes

correct

Che that is exactly how they treat

loyalty in Trump World when will will

these people learn ow wow after

everything I've done for it how is this

hot stove treating my hand this way I'll

never do that with my other

[Applause]

one quatchi then took to Twitter to

protest saying end the war on alpha

males yeah brother you tell

them cuz we all know the motto of alpha

males can someone please find Trevor

what I'm going I'm

going if it was a bad day in court for

trump it was even worse for his former

economic adviser Peter Navaro seen here

saying I'm open throw me the

baby a quick reminder for those who have

forgotten I don't blame me if you have

Navaro was one of the architects of the

false elector scheme to steal the

election from Joe Biden well a few

months ago Navaro was found guilty of

criminal contempt of congress for

refusing to testify about his role in

January 6th well today he was sentenced

to four months in

prison

consequences truth and consequences

here's a little tip for Navaro on your

first day in go up to the biggest guy in

the prison yard and say hello Mr

President lately

lately Trump has been treating the folks

at his rallies to an unlikely warm-up

act he's been playing British indie rock

band The

[Music]

Smiths hell yeah nothing gets the crowd

riled up quite like a plaintive acoustic

ballad I want to see him pump up a

football team okay let's get down and

get out there and put it all on the

field field and win but first our fight

song one two 3 Everybody

Hurts

tonight you can't do the you can't do

the cats oh the

[Applause]

[Laughter]

cats the name of the song they're

playing there is please please please

let me get what I want which for most

Trump supporters is custody of their

kids now

sure no all right after seeing after

seeing footage of the rally yesterday

the Smith's guitarist Johnny Maher

denounced Trump's use of their song

adding consider this shut right down

right

now rock and

[Music]

roll rock and roll also copyright

lawyers intellectual

property

our current president is also running

and no one is suing him for his

campaign's pre-show music pop goes the

weasel yesterday did you hear about that

mulbury bush wow yesterday he got some

good news because the United Auto

Workers indorsed Joe Biden that's

right United Auto Workers United Auto

Workers that's great guys but if you

really want to help please build him an

Optimus Prime body beep beep I'm a truck

Jack so now with the uaw's endorsement

alongside those of the national air

traffic controllers Association and the

Brotherhood of railroad signalmen Biden

has a support of Planes Trains and

Automobiles all modes of transportation

time to pick a side roller

blades Canal

Boatman UAW president Shan Fain did not

mince words when talking about the

Republican front runner Donald Trump is

a

scab

okay I I I get where you're coming from

but the polite term is cold sore

American oh there's good new there

there's more good news for Biden the

economy is cooking right along the Dows

north of 38,000 today wages are up

unemployment below 4% for 23 months in a

row and today the Commerce Department

announced the economy grew at

3.3% rate in the last quarter now what

does that mean well it's a little

technical but according to macroeconomic

Theory number go up equal

good now is that right can you check my

math can you check me can you check me

on that got you you check you got you

got that okay for all last year bunch of

people were predicting a recession but

instead every economic indicator of

biomics is positive or as the news

people call it it's an economy that is

cooling on the inflation front but still

showing growth on the the spending front

the Goldilocks perfect Goldilocks

scenario we're getting some of that

Goldilocks it is Goldilocks this is

Goldilocks that's right jack things are

going Goldilocks Now look up look here

I'm serious folks I knew Goldilocks nice

gal real particular real particular

about her porridge not me though hot

cold don't bother me I'll toss that bowl

down too sweets soft foods doctor's

orders the old mouth chicklets aren't

was aren't what they used to be but

Austin lost the words there a little

bit can't can't win them every

time but even though it looks like

there's no recession and the economy

looks good on paper people feel like

it's not bouncing back and this bad

feeling the media has dubbed the vibe

session and I get it it but thankfully I

have a foolproof way to bring the nation

out of a Vibe session this is Steven

Corell five

[Applause]

session what's cooking my fiscal

cats you out there counting your duckets

let me brighten your economic Outlook

with my Bongo Sonic output hit

it

dig you're drowning in dough but you

don't feel it cuz it's not yet

bread I'm talking that sweet pumping

nickel baby cuz I heard from a little

bird that in the 2023 the US economy

accelerated at a 2.5% annualized pace

and call prices for personalized

consumption expenditures Rose just 2% in

the fourth quarter no wonder

janets yes

in so no need to go slow Joe the vibe

session will be Jazz suit and if the

economy starts this cooking in

November we'll make Trump A Way Gone

daddy we got a great show for you

tonight my guest is

[Applause]

[Music]

Martin

[Music]

oh