To raise brave girls, encourage adventure | Caroline Paul
Summary
TLDRIn this talk, Caroline Paul shares her journey from attempting to break a world record in crawling to becoming one of the first female firefighters in San Francisco. She reflects on how society raises girls to be cautious and fearful, in contrast to boys who are encouraged to take risks. Paul argues that bravery can be learned through experience and highlights the importance of encouraging girls to face challenges and develop resilience. She calls on women to practice bravery themselves to empower the next generation to be confident and bold.
Takeaways
- 😀 Caroline's childhood ambition was to set a world record, and she attempted it by crawling 8.5 miles, though she didn’t succeed in breaking the record.
- 🤕 Her experience with crawling led her to discover her resilience, endurance, and ability to push beyond her comfort zone, turning what seemed like failure into bravery.
- 🚒 At age 26, she became a firefighter in San Francisco, one of only 15 women among 1,500 men, facing doubts about women's physical strength and bravery.
- 💪 After responding to a fire incident, Caroline proved her capability by tackling the fire herself, challenging the belief that women are less brave.
- 👧 She observed that girls are often raised to be more cautious, while boys are encouraged to take risks and master difficult tasks independently.
- 🔍 Studies show that parents caution girls more about risks, creating a perception that girls are fragile and need more help, which shapes their self-image as they grow up.
- 💡 Caroline advocates for teaching girls bravery, not fear, by encouraging them to engage in ‘risky play’ and explore their physical limits to build resilience and confidence.
- 🌲 She highlights the importance of encouraging girls to participate in activities like skateboarding or climbing, which helps them develop critical life skills like hazard assessment and delayed gratification.
- 🚴♀️ Parents should guide their daughters to face challenges with courage, helping them assess risks instead of making decisions based on fear.
- 🎯 Caroline emphasizes that bravery is learned through practice, urging both girls and women to consistently push beyond fear and embrace opportunities for growth.
Q & A
What inspired the speaker to attempt a world record in crawling?
-The speaker was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records as a child and wanted to set a record. Since she felt she had no specific talent, she chose crawling because it required no special skill.
What challenges did the speaker face during her attempt to break the world crawling record?
-The speaker faced several challenges, including denim chafing her skin, her knees getting chewed up, rain, darkness, physical exhaustion, and hallucinations from the cold and monotony. Eventually, she stopped after crawling for 12 hours and covering 8.5 miles, falling short of the 12.5-mile record.
What lesson did the speaker learn from her failed crawling attempt?
-Initially, the speaker saw the crawling attempt as a failure. However, she later realized it was a story of bravery because she had stepped outside her comfort zone, demonstrated resilience, and developed confidence in herself.
What was the speaker's experience as one of the first women in the San Francisco Fire Department?
-The speaker joined the San Francisco Fire Department as the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men. She felt pressure to prove her strength and bravery, especially since many doubted women could handle the job.
How did the speaker demonstrate bravery during a firefighting incident with Skip?
-During a fire, an explosion knocked the speaker and her colleague Skip backward. Despite being disoriented, the speaker picked herself up, grabbed the nozzle, and tackled the fire on her own. Later, Skip complimented her, surprised that she had been brave in that situation.
Why does the speaker believe that women are not typically expected to be brave?
-The speaker argues that society often raises girls to be more cautious and fearful than boys. Girls are warned about risks more frequently and encouraged to avoid challenges, while boys are taught to be independent and take risks. This social conditioning leads to a belief that women are less brave than men.
What is 'risky play,' and why does the speaker believe it's important for girls?
-Risky play refers to activities that involve physical risk, such as climbing trees or using playground equipment like fire poles. The speaker believes risky play is important because it teaches kids how to assess hazards, build resilience, delay gratification, and gain confidence—all essential life skills.
How does the speaker suggest parents should change their approach when raising girls?
-The speaker suggests parents should encourage their daughters to take risks and avoid constantly cautioning them with phrases like 'Be careful.' This will help girls develop confidence, resilience, and bravery instead of being overly cautious and fearful.
How does the speaker recommend adults practice bravery in their own lives?
-The speaker recommends that adults practice bravery by challenging themselves in small ways, such as speaking to someone they admire or trying new experiences. By practicing bravery, adults can model this behavior for younger generations.
What is the significance of the 'steep hill' metaphor in the speaker's message about bravery?
-The steep hill represents any challenge or fear that a girl may face. The speaker encourages guiding girls to approach challenges with courage, even if they ultimately decide the task is too difficult. The goal is for girls to assess risks confidently and develop the tools to face future challenges.
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