Good Communication 101: Mirroring, Jargon, Hifalutin Words | Alan Alda | Big Think

Summary

The speaker explores the dual nature of jargon, highlighting its efficiency in professional communication by condensing complex ideas into single words. However, they caution against its overuse, especially when it creates a barrier to understanding or is used to assert superiority. The speaker advocates for clarity and the importance of effective communication, which is not just about choosing the right words but also about ensuring they are understood and internalized by the listener. They share a poignant medical example where a student's empathetic communication helped a patient comprehend her terminal diagnosis, underscoring the power of connection and understanding in communication.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Jargon serves a purpose in specialized fields by condensing complex ideas into single words, which can be efficient for professionals who share the same understanding.
• 🚫 The downside of jargon is that it can create barriers in communication, making it difficult for those outside a specific expertise to understand.
• 🎬 Even in less expected fields like show business, jargon is prevalent, with terms like 'gobo', 'Century', 'martini shot', and 'half-apple' being used on movie sets.
• 🧐 Jargon can be misused to assert intellectual superiority, suggesting that those who understand it are smarter than those who don't.
• 💡 The speaker encourages translating jargon into plain language to enhance understanding and potentially gain a deeper comprehension of the concepts involved.
• 🌐 Effective communication is not just about choosing the right words but also about ensuring the message is internalized and understood by the listener.
• 👥 A powerful example from the medical field illustrates how personalizing communication and mirroring the patient's emotional state can lead to a profound connection and better understanding.
• 😢 The emotional impact of communication is significant; the medical student's ability to connect with the patient led to a shared emotional experience that was transformative for both.
• 🔄 The concept of mirroring is highlighted as a technique that can synchronize the communicator with the listener, fostering a deeper level of understanding.
• 💡 The script emphasizes that good communication is not just about delivering a message but about the listener's ability to receive, understand, and own that message.

Q & A

What is the primary reason jargon is used in professional settings?

Jargon is used because it can represent complex concepts in a single word, making communication more efficient among professionals who share the same understanding.

What is the downside of using jargon according to the speaker?

The downside is that jargon can create a barrier in communication with those who are not familiar with the specialized terms, leading to misunderstandings or exclusion.

Why does the speaker mention the show business industry?

The speaker mentions show business to illustrate that even industries not typically associated with technical jargon have their own specialized terms, which can be confusing to outsiders.

What are the specific examples of film industry jargon provided in the script?

The examples include 'gobo' for a light-blocking device, 'Century' for a type of stand, 'martini shot' for the last shot of the day, and 'half-apple' for a small box used to adjust the height of actors.

How can jargon be misused to make someone appear smarter than others?

Jargon can be misused to create a sense of superiority by implying that those who do not understand the jargon are less intelligent, which is an unnecessary and often unconscious behavior.

What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to using jargon?

The speaker suggests using plain language and simplifying complex concepts to enhance understanding and make communication more effective.

Why is it important to explain jargon in simple terms?

Explaining jargon in simple terms can lead to a deeper understanding of the concepts, humanize the language, and make it more accessible and helpful.

What role does effective communication play in the medical student example?

Effective communication allows the medical student to connect with a patient, helping her understand her condition and providing emotional support, which is crucial in delivering difficult news.

How does the medical student's approach differ from the supervising M.D.'s?

The medical student uses simpler language, makes eye contact, and opens himself up emotionally to the patient, which contrasts with the M.D.'s more impersonal and technical communication style.

What is the significance of the mirroring exercise mentioned by the medical student?

The mirroring exercise is significant because it helped the medical student to synchronize with the patient, allowing for a deeper emotional connection and understanding, which was key in delivering the difficult news.

What lesson does the speaker draw from the medical student's experience?

The speaker draws the lesson that personal connection and empathy in communication can profoundly impact both the communicator and the recipient, and that such experiences can lead to personal growth and better understanding.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ The Utility and Pitfalls of Jargon

This paragraph discusses the dual nature of jargon. While it can be efficient for professionals to communicate complex ideas succinctly, it can also create a barrier for those outside the field. The speaker uses examples from the movie industry to illustrate how jargon can be misunderstood by the general public. Furthermore, the paragraph touches on the misuse of jargon to assert intellectual superiority, which the speaker discourages. Instead, the speaker advocates for clarity and simplicity in communication, suggesting that understanding and internalizing information is more important than using the right words.

05:01

🌟 The Power of Empathetic Communication

The second paragraph narrates a powerful story about a medical student who effectively communicated a difficult diagnosis to a patient. The student used simpler language and established a personal connection with the patient, which allowed her to understand and emotionally process her impending death. This experience highlighted the importance of empathetic communication over technical jargon. The student's approach, which was influenced by a mirroring exercise, led to a profound emotional connection, demonstrating that effective communication can deeply impact both the speaker and the listener.

Keywords

💡Jargon

Jargon refers to specialized language or terminology used by a particular profession or group that is often not understood by those outside of it. In the video, the speaker discusses how jargon can be efficient for professionals to communicate complex ideas succinctly but can also act as a barrier for those not familiar with the terms. The example of movie set jargon like 'gobo,' 'Century,' 'martini shot,' and 'half-apple' illustrates how these terms are clear to industry insiders but not to the general public.

💡Specialized Words

Specialized words are terms that are specific to a particular field or area of expertise. The video emphasizes that while these words can be precise and efficient for those in the know, they can also alienate others and create a sense of exclusivity. The speaker points out that over-specialization can lead to a loss of universal understanding, which is a theme explored through the discussion of jargon.

💡Communication

Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. The video's central theme revolves around effective communication, suggesting that it's not just about using the right words but also about ensuring understanding and connection. The speaker argues for the importance of plain language and the humanizing effect it can have on complex concepts, as illustrated by the medical student's empathetic approach to explaining a patient's condition.

💡Understanding

Understanding is the state of knowing and comprehending something fully. The video stresses that true communication is achieved when the listener not only hears but also understands and internalizes the message. The example of the medical student helping a patient understand her terminal diagnosis demonstrates how effective communication can lead to a deeper level of understanding and emotional connection.

💡Plain Language

Plain language is the use of clear, straightforward, and easily understandable language. The speaker advocates for plain language as a means to bridge the gap between jargon and general comprehension. By using plain language, the medical student in the video was able to help a patient grasp the reality of her situation, which was not achieved through the use of medical jargon by the supervising doctor.

💡Humanize

To humanize something is to make it more relatable or understandable by connecting it to human emotions or experiences. The video discusses the importance of humanizing jargon by simplifying it into concepts that matter, which helps in making communication more relatable and emotionally resonant. The medical student's approach to communicating with the patient is an example of humanizing a difficult conversation.

💡Smart

In the context of the video, 'smart' is discussed as a potential misuse of jargon to assert intellectual superiority. The speaker warns against using complex language or jargon to make oneself appear more intelligent at the expense of clarity and understanding. The video encourages a more humble and accessible approach to communication.

💡Mirroring

Mirroring, as mentioned in the video, is a technique where one person mimics the movements or expressions of another to establish rapport and understanding. The medical student's use of mirroring during his interaction with the patient is highlighted as a powerful tool for creating a connection and facilitating genuine understanding.

💡Connection

Connection refers to the establishment of a relationship or link between people. The video emphasizes the importance of creating a connection in communication, which is more than just the exchange of words. The emotional connection made by the medical student with the patient is a key example of how connection can lead to a profound understanding and shared experience.

💡Concepts

Concepts are abstract ideas or general notions that underpin a field of knowledge or a particular subject. The speaker in the video encourages the distillation of jargon into its core concepts to make communication more effective. By focusing on the essential concepts, communicators can clarify their messages and ensure that the listener grasps the fundamental ideas, as demonstrated by the medical student's approach to explaining incurable cancer.

💡Profession

A profession refers to a job or career that requires specialized training and knowledge. The video script mentions professions as contexts where jargon is commonly used and can be particularly efficient for communication among professionals. However, it also points out the potential for jargon to exclude those outside the profession, highlighting the need for balance in language use.

Highlights

Jargon can be useful for professionals to communicate complex ideas efficiently.

Specialized jargon can create a barrier for those outside a specific expertise.

Show business, including movie making, has its own technical jargon.

Explanation of movie set jargon: gobo, Century, martini shot, and half-apple.

Jargon can be misused to create a false sense of superiority.

Effective communication involves making complex ideas understandable to others.

Exploring jargon can lead to a deeper understanding of its concepts.

Humanizing jargon by simplifying it can make it more accessible.

Choice of words is crucial for effective communication.

Understanding and internalizing information is key to good communication.

An example of a medical student using simplified language to communicate a difficult diagnosis.

The importance of making contact and being open during communication.

Mirroring exercises can improve communication by syncing with the other person's emotions.

A profound experience of a medical student connecting with a patient through empathy.

The impact of personal connection on both the communicator and the recipient.

The transformative power of effective communication in medical settings.

Transcripts

Jargon gets a bad reputation for good reasons.

But there's something good about jargon, and I think it should be explored because jargon

hangs on, I think, in our speech because it has a usefulness.

When people in the same profession have a word that stands for five pages of written

knowledge, why say five pages of stuff when you can say one word?

And if the other person understands it exactly the way you understand it then jargon has

usefulness.

The trouble is we develop such specialized words that they're not understood by people

with just a little distance from our expertise.

For instance, even show business, which you wouldn't expect to have a technical jargon—or

you might not expect it—even show business has it, movie making.

“Take this gobo and put it on the Century over there, and hurry up because this is the

martini shot.

And while you're at it bring me a half-apple.”

That's not understood to most people and it's crystal clear to somebody who's been on a

movie set for a while.

I guess I have to explain it or people will be writing you letters saying “what does

all that mean?”

A gobo is a thing that blocks out light.

A Century is a Century stand made by the Century Company many decades ago, and their name is

on the stand.

It's the stand that holds up a light or a gobo.

The martini shot is the last shot of the day before you go home and have a martini.

And a half-apple is a box half the size of an apple-box that you can put things on, like

people who are too short.

That's jargon for a movie set.

But jargon has another evil use aside from separating us from one another, and that is

that when we want to use it to make ourselves look really smart, “I’m smart I talk like

this, you can't really talk like this so you're not as smart as me.”

A lot of us do this unconsciously, and it's not necessary.

We get more done if we open ourselves up.

It's really fun to be on the verge of saying something that is probably not going to be

understood by the other person and to say, “wait a second, how can I say this in really

plain language?”

And if we do that sometimes we learn more about the jargon than we thought we knew.

We humanize it, we reduce it to the simplest concepts—what are the concepts that really

matter in this?—And then the jargon sometimes gets cleaned off and polished of some of the

luster of hifalutin-ness that doesn't help the jargon be helpful.

Choice of words does matter.

It matters a lot.

But I think that it's important to remember that if all we do is get the right words in

our head, and the right order of words, and think that that's going to make all by itself

good communication, I think we're missing the boat.

Because really, effective communication is not just because I have something perfect

to say to you.

It really occurs when you understand and internalize what I have to say and are able to make it

your own, to remember it, and that kind of thing.

Here's an interesting example of that.

One of our medical students who we were training to communicate better was on rounds with a

supervising M.D. and the doctor who was in charge was talking to a patient, and he had

to explain to her that she had incurable cancer and she was going to die.

And he was talking to her, and as he was telling her all this really hard-to-take information

she wasn't asking questions and you could tell by the look on her face, or at least

the medical student could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't understanding

it.

She was just listening with kind of a blank expression.

And the lead doctor says, "Okay so I'll talk to you later," or whatever he said and left,

and the young medical student said, "Do you mind if I stay for a few minutes with her

and talk to her?"

And he was given permission to do that.

So now he sat down right opposite her and took her hand in his, and he started to say

many of the same things that the other doctor had said but he didn't use the same words.

So the words changed.

He didn't say “metastasis”, he talked in simpler terms but he was making contact

with her, he was looking in her eyes, he was opening himself up to her as he talked to

her.

And little by little she started to cry and she started to ask questions, and finally

she understood she was going to die and he helped her through that understanding.

He helped her get that understanding because she wasn't protected against this barrage

of impersonal communication that the other doctor had been giving her.

And what he said, what this young the doctor said to us—this medical student—was that

it brought him back to one of our basic exercises.

It was a mirroring exercise where he had to mirror the movements of another person.

And when that happens, well, you get in-sync, and he said, "I was mirroring her and she

began to mirror me—because she helped me be a better doctor, because she responded

with tears to what I was saying, which let me know she really understood me."

He was so moved by the experience that he began to cry himself in the experience.

And I don't think he was crying because he felt her pain at the awareness that she was

going to die.

I think he was moved because this connection had taken place, and he realized that the

movement he had made during the workshops to be able to make this kind of contact with

another person was a profound experience, and he said that he would never forget the

experience and how it came from the simple mirroring exercise.

So that was a wonderful experience for us to hear about, because it was a personal way

of letting us know that people can be changed by this.