Matt's Story

Walk In Our Shoes
22 Aug 201302:51

Summary

TLDRThe speaker recounts their journey with mental health, starting with feelings of normalcy and occasional depression, which escalated during a study abroad in Scotland. After experiencing a severe depressive episode and a manic one post-college, they sought hospitalization and began medication. Initially advised to keep their bipolar diagnosis private due to societal stigma, they eventually found acceptance and support among new friends in California. This acceptance led to a profound realization that mental illness should not be a source of shame. The speaker's story concludes with a newfound pride in their bipolar identity and a commitment to living a healthier, happier life while advocating for others.

Takeaways

  • 🌍 The individual initially experienced depression during a study abroad in Scotland, highlighting the impact of a new environment on mental health.
  • πŸ˜” A deep sense of embarrassment about their depression led to a reluctance to share their struggles with others.
  • πŸ’” A breakup in college triggered the first manic episode, indicating a potential link between emotional stress and bipolar symptoms.
  • πŸ₯ Hospitalization and medication were crucial in stabilizing the individual's condition, emphasizing the importance of professional help in managing mental health crises.
  • 🀫 The individual was advised not to disclose their bipolar disorder due to societal stigma, reflecting the challenges faced by those with mental health conditions.
  • 😞 The stigma and shame associated with bipolar disorder led to a worsening of depressive symptoms and thoughts of suicide.
  • 🀝 Moving to California and opening up about their condition to new roommates resulted in acceptance and support, demonstrating the power of understanding and community.
  • 🌟 Joining the bipolar community and embracing the disorder as part of their identity helped the individual regain self-confidence and reduce feelings of shame.
  • πŸ’Š Medication and therapy, along with social support, played a significant role in the individual's recovery and overall well-being.
  • 🌈 The journey towards acceptance and advocacy inspired the individual to live a happier, healthier life and to help others do the same, showcasing the potential for personal growth and resilience.

Q & A

  • What did the speaker consider normal during their early life?

    -The speaker considered themselves normal, feeling like just one of the guys, despite having some depressive and anxious thoughts.

  • What event triggered the speaker's deep depression?

    -The speaker's deep depression was triggered during their study abroad experience in Scotland, being away from friends and family in a new culture.

  • Why did the speaker initially hide their depression?

    -The speaker felt embarrassed about their depression and did not want others to know, so they hid it from everyone, including friends and family.

  • What triggered the speaker’s first manic episode?

    -The speaker’s first manic episode was triggered by a breakup with their first serious girlfriend around the time of their college graduation.

  • How did the speaker describe the manic episode during graduation?

    -The speaker described feeling euphoric, energized, grandiose, delusional, and paranoid, and these feelings lasted six days without sleep.

  • How did the speaker seek help during their manic episode?

    -With the help of their friends and family, the speaker decided to go to the hospital, where they stayed for five days and were stabilized on medication.

  • Why did the speaker initially not tell anyone about their bipolar disorder?

    -The speaker was specifically told not to tell anyone about their bipolar disorder due to fears of discrimination and stigma, leading them to feel ashamed.

  • What helped the speaker feel better over time?

    -The speaker gradually adjusted their medication with the help of a doctor, which improved their mental health over time.

  • What was the speaker's experience like after moving to Sacramento?

    -The speaker was nervous but excited about the move. After telling their new roommates about their bipolar disorder, they were pleasantly surprised by their acceptance.

  • How did joining the bipolar community impact the speaker’s recovery?

    -Joining the bipolar community helped the speaker feel less alone, regain their self-confidence, and fully accept their disorder as part of who they are.

Outlines

00:00

🌏 Struggling with Mental Health Abroad

The speaker initially perceived themselves as 'normal' with occasional depressive and anxious thoughts, which they believed were common. However, their study abroad experience in Scotland, being in a new culture and away from friends and family, triggered a profound depression. Despite recognizing the issue, they chose to hide it due to embarrassment. This struggle continued through their senior year, and a breakup further exacerbated their condition, leading to a manic episode characterized by euphoria, energy, and eventually delusions and paranoia. With the support of friends and family, they sought hospitalization and began medication, but were advised to keep their bipolar disorder a secret due to societal stigma.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Depression

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. In the video, the speaker describes experiencing deep depression during their study abroad in Scotland, which was triggered by being in a new culture and away from friends and family. This period of depression is a central theme of the narrative, illustrating the personal struggle and the impact of mental health on one's life.

πŸ’‘Anxiety

Anxiety refers to a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. The speaker mentions having depressive and anxious thoughts, which are common experiences that many people face. Anxiety is a significant aspect of the speaker's mental health journey and contributes to the overall theme of coping with mental health challenges.

πŸ’‘Manic Episode

A manic episode is a period of abnormally elevated mood, energy, and activity levels, often associated with bipolar disorder. The speaker describes a manic episode following a breakup, where they felt euphoric, energized, grandiose, and eventually delusional and paranoid. This episode is a critical turning point in the video, highlighting the bipolar disorder diagnosis and its impact on the speaker's life.

πŸ’‘Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings, including emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). The speaker's diagnosis of bipolar disorder is a central theme of the video, as it shapes their experiences and the way they perceive themselves and their mental health.

πŸ’‘Stigma

Stigma refers to a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. In the context of the video, stigma is associated with mental illness, particularly bipolar disorder. The speaker was advised not to disclose their diagnosis due to the fear of discrimination and stigma, which reflects the societal challenges faced by individuals with mental health conditions.

πŸ’‘Medication

Medication is a form of treatment involving the use of drugs to cure or alleviate symptoms of a disease or condition. The speaker mentions being stabilized on medication after a hospital stay, indicating that medication played a crucial role in managing their bipolar disorder and depressive symptoms. It's an essential aspect of their recovery process.

πŸ’‘Therapy

Therapy refers to the treatment of physical or mental disorders through various methods, often involving psychological techniques. The speaker implies that therapy was part of their recovery process, along with medication, to help them feel better and adjust to living with bipolar disorder.

πŸ’‘Acceptance

Acceptance in the context of the video refers to the process of coming to terms with and embracing one's mental health condition. The speaker talks about the importance of accepting their bipolar disorder as part of who they are, which is a significant step in their journey towards self-confidence and mental well-being.

πŸ’‘Community

Community here refers to a group of people who share common interests or experiences, in this case, living with bipolar disorder. Joining the bipolar community helped the speaker feel less alone and provided a support network, which is an important aspect of overcoming the challenges associated with mental health conditions.

πŸ’‘Recovery Process

The recovery process in the video refers to the journey of healing and regaining a sense of well-being after a mental health crisis. The speaker's recovery process involved medication, therapy, acceptance, and community support, and it inspired them to live a happier and healthier life, which is a central message of the video.

πŸ’‘Helping Others

Helping others is a theme that emerges from the speaker's personal experience and recovery. Having gone through their own struggles and found ways to manage their mental health, the speaker is motivated to help others do the same. This reflects the transformative power of personal experiences and the importance of community support in mental health.

Highlights

Individual initially perceived themselves as 'normal' with occasional depressive and anxious thoughts.

Deep depression was triggered during a study abroad experience in Scotland, away from familiar surroundings.

Feeling of embarrassment due to depression led to concealment from others.

Depression persisted through senior year, becoming evident to friends and family despite attempts to hide it.

A breakup in college triggered the first manic episode, characterized by euphoria, energy, and delusions.

A week of no sleep and delusional behavior led to a hospitalization.

After five days in the hospital, the individual was stabilized on medication.

Advised not to disclose bipolar disorder due to societal stigma and discrimination.

Experiencing a deeper depression post-disclosure advice, with suicidal thoughts.

Adjusting medication with a doctor helped improve the individual's condition.

A job transfer to California provided an opportunity for a fresh start.

Revealing bipolar disorder to new roommates was met with acceptance and support.

Education on bipolar disorder by friends helped normalize the individual's perception of their condition.

Realization that stigma and discrimination are not as pervasive as previously thought.

Joining the bipolar community provided a sense of belonging and reduced feelings of isolation.

The individual embraced their bipolar identity, viewing it as a part of who they are.

Recovery process inspired a happier and healthier lifestyle, with a desire to help others.

Transcripts

play00:00

growing up I always considered myself

play00:02

normal just one of the guys I had some

play00:05

depressive and anxious thoughts but I

play00:07

just thought everybody

play00:09

did the real deep depression didn't come

play00:12

until my study abroad experience in

play00:14

Scotland being in an entirely new

play00:16

culture away from all my friends and

play00:18

family triggered a much deeper

play00:19

depression than I had ever

play00:21

experienced I knew something was wrong

play00:23

was going on in my head but I felt

play00:25

embarrassed by my depression so I hit it

play00:27

from

play00:28

everybody my depression continued

play00:30

throughout my senior year I still

play00:32

continued to hide my depression from

play00:34

everyone but it was apparent to my

play00:35

friends and

play00:37

family a breakup with my first serious

play00:39

girlfriend at the end of college

play00:40

triggered my first manic episode during

play00:43

the week of graduation I felt euphoric

play00:46

energized grandios and eventually

play00:49

delusional and paranoid this feeling

play00:51

lasted 6 days without any sleep luckily

play00:55

with the help of my friends and family I

play00:57

made the decision to go to the hospital

play01:00

after 5 days in the hospital I was

play01:02

stabilized on meds but certainly not

play01:04

feeling completely better I had been

play01:07

specifically told to not tell anyone

play01:08

about my bipolar because of the

play01:10

discrimination and stigma of mental

play01:12

illness I felt ashamed of my disorder

play01:15

and didn't tell anyone I fell into a

play01:17

deeper depression than I had before I

play01:20

often found myself trying to stop the

play01:22

anxious thoughts of

play01:23

suicide it was very difficult but with

play01:26

time I began to adjust my medication

play01:28

with my doctor and and feel

play01:31

better in January of 2012 7 months after

play01:35

I had gotten out of the hospital my

play01:37

company transferred me from moester

play01:38

Massachusetts to Sacramento

play01:41

California while the move made me

play01:43

completely uneasy and nervous I was also

play01:45

excited to start

play01:47

fresh within the first few days of

play01:49

hanging out with my new roommates I had

play01:52

told them about my bipolar disorder to

play01:54

my surprise they were completely

play01:56

accepting it's been a fantastic

play01:59

experience educa ating my friends about

play02:00

bipolar disorder and they taught me how

play02:03

I am still perfectly normal even with

play02:05

mental illness The Experience showed me

play02:07

that the stigma and discrimination

play02:09

doesn't exist in the world nearly as

play02:11

severely as I thought while the

play02:13

medication and therapy helped me feel

play02:15

better my acceptance of the disorder

play02:17

became complete when I became part of

play02:19

the bipolar Community I felt like I

play02:22

wasn't all alone in this fight anymore

play02:24

and started to get back my

play02:26

self-confidence I no longer carried my

play02:28

bipolar as something to be ashamed or

play02:30

embarrassed by I am proud to be bipolar

play02:33

it's just part of who I am my genetics I

play02:36

can't do anything about that besides

play02:38

just live my life to the best of my

play02:39

ability my recovery process has inspired

play02:42

me to live a happier healthier life and

play02:45

help others do the

play02:50

same

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Related Tags
Mental HealthBipolar DisorderDepressionStigmaAcceptanceRecoverySelf-ConfidenceCommunity SupportEducationalInspirational