How to build aura like Duke Dennis ! (Must watch)

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker delves into the concept of people-pleasing, urging viewers to prioritize their own needs and principles over others' opinions. They advocate for self-reflection and writing down personal issues as a means of self-therapy. The speaker also addresses the pitfalls of overthinking, particularly in relationships, and suggests practical solutions like the '5-minute rule' to manage it. They emphasize the importance of standing by one's principles and not compromising them for others' happiness. The discussion extends to the topics of envy, jealousy, and the importance of gratitude, concluding with a motivational message about embracing one's uniqueness and purpose, even when it means being different or lonely.

Takeaways

• 📝 Start writing down your issues to better understand and heal yourself.
• 🤔 Consider being your own therapist to address personal concerns without the need for external validation.
• 🚫 Avoid being a people pleaser; prioritize your own needs and principles over others' opinions.
• 💡 Recognize yourself as the main character in your life story, and act accordingly.
• 💎 Establish and stand firm on your principles, as they define your character and integrity.
• 🤯 Overthinking can be detrimental; address it by writing down your thoughts and finding solutions.
• 🚫 Avoid overthinking in relationships; let things be and don't force outcomes.
• 🔍 If you feel something is off in a relationship, take a step back to evaluate the situation objectively.
• 🙏 Practice gratitude for your blessings and avoid envy and jealousy.
• 🧠 Understand that your purpose may be greater than fitting into a specific social group or friend circle.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video?

The main topic discussed in the video is being a people pleaser and the importance of standing on one's principles and not letting others dictate one's happiness or self-worth.

Why does the speaker suggest writing down issues that are constantly affecting one's life?

The speaker suggests writing down issues to help understand and heal oneself, as it's a way of expressing thoughts that might not be shared out loud or with others, and it can be a form of self-therapy.

What does the speaker mean by 'you are the main character of your life'?

The speaker means that one should prioritize their own needs and desires and not live their life solely for the approval or happiness of others.

Why is it important to have principles according to the speaker?

Having principles is important because they guide one's actions and decisions, and standing firm on them contributes to one's integrity and authenticity.

What is the '5-year rule' mentioned by the speaker to combat overthinking?

The '5-year rule' suggests that if something won't matter in five years, it's not worth thinking about for more than five minutes.

How does the speaker feel about overthinking in relationships?

The speaker believes overthinking in relationships can lead to unnecessary arguments and disputes, and suggests letting things be and not forcing someone to act against their will.

What does the speaker suggest doing if you feel someone in a relationship is not fighting for you as you do for them?

The speaker suggests taking a step back to evaluate the relationship and recognizing if the other person is not reciprocating the effort, which can provide clarity and help in deciding whether to continue the relationship.

Why does the speaker think attachment issues arise?

The speaker suggests attachment issues arise from a fear of change and a comfort in familiarity, even when the situation is not beneficial.

What is the speaker's view on envy and jealousy?

The speaker views envy and jealousy as negative emotions that can derail one's focus from appreciating what they have and can lead to unhealthy comparisons with others.

How does the speaker encourage viewers to approach feelings of loneliness or not fitting in?

The speaker encourages viewers to see loneliness as a sign of being different and having a unique purpose, suggesting that being alone can provide clarity and opportunity for personal growth.

Outlines

00:00

📝 Overcoming People Pleasing and Establishing Personal Principles

The speaker begins by addressing the issue of people-pleasing, suggesting that individuals often suppress their true selves to gain validation from others. They recommend writing down personal issues as a form of self-therapy, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and healing. The speaker advocates for treating oneself as the main character in one's own life, standing on personal principles, and not compromising them for the sake of others' happiness. They argue that having principles is essential to being a 'real man' and maintaining one's aura, which is lost when principles are abandoned.

05:01

🤔 Tackling Overthinking and Attachment Issues

The speaker discusses the problem of overthinking, sharing personal experiences and a strategy to combat it: writing down the cause of overthinking and the potential solutions. They introduce the '5-minute rule' to help manage overthinking, suggesting that if something won't matter in five years, it's not worth more than five minutes of worry. They also touch on the negative impact of overthinking in relationships, advising to let go of things one cannot control and to assess the relationship by stepping back and evaluating the mutual efforts and commitment.

10:03

🍀 Embracing Gratitude and Avoiding Envy

The speaker talks about envy and jealousy as detrimental emotions, urging listeners to appreciate what they have rather than focusing on what others possess. They emphasize the importance of gratitude, suggesting that acknowledging and being thankful for current blessings is essential before seeking more. The speaker also addresses the challenges of fitting in and finding the right friend group, advocating for being true to oneself and surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals who support and enhance personal growth.

15:04

🧘‍♂️ Understanding Loneliness and Finding One's Purpose

In the final paragraph, the speaker reflects on loneliness, suggesting it may be a sign of being different and having a unique purpose. They encourage embracing one's individuality and using solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. The speaker reassures listeners that being alone doesn't mean being a loser but rather indicates a special, distinct path in life. They conclude by reminding the audience that everyone has a unique purpose and that being different is a strength, not a weakness.

Keywords

💡People Pleaser

A 'people pleaser' is someone who prioritizes the needs and desires of others over their own, often to the point of self-neglect. In the video, the speaker discusses how being a people pleaser can lead to suppressing one's true self in order to gain validation or approval from others. The concept is tied to the theme of self-worth and authenticity, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself rather than living for the approval of others.

💡Aura

The term 'aura' in the video refers to an individual's personal presence or the way they carry themselves. The speaker suggests that having a strong aura comes from being the main character of one's own story and standing by one's principles. It is mentioned in the context of not compromising one's values for the sake of others' happiness, which is a central message of the video.

💡Overthinking

Overthinking is the act of excessively analyzing a situation, often leading to unnecessary worry or stress. The video script mentions overthinking as a common issue that the speaker has personally dealt with. It is tied to the theme of mental health and self-care, with the speaker suggesting writing down thoughts and solutions as a method to combat overthinking.

💡Principles

Principles are fundamental truths or propositions that serve as the foundation for one's behavior or beliefs. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of having and adhering to personal principles. They argue that a real man is someone who can stand by his principles, no matter what others may think or say, which is a key message in promoting self-respect and integrity.

💡Attachment Issues

Attachment issues refer to difficulties forming emotional connections with others or an excessive fear of loss. The video discusses attachment issues in the context of relationships, suggesting that people often stay in unhealthy situations due to a fear of being alone or a desire for companionship, even if it means compromising their own well-being.

💡Envy and Jealousy

Envy and jealousy are negative emotions that stem from comparing oneself to others and feeling discontent with one's own situation. The speaker in the video describes these emotions as tools of the 'devil' and suggests that they can lead people away from recognizing and appreciating the blessings in their own lives. The video encourages viewers to focus on gratitude rather than envy.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being genuine and true to one's own personality, feelings, and beliefs. The video script touches on authenticity as a key aspect of self-improvement and mental health. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace their true selves and not to change for the sake of fitting in or pleasing others.

💡Self-Therapy

Self-therapy in the video refers to the act of self-reflection and introspection as a means of understanding and healing oneself. The speaker suggests writing down one's thoughts and feelings as a form of self-therapy, particularly for those who may not have the time or resources to seek professional help.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is the feeling of sadness or emptiness due to a lack of companionship or social interaction. The video script discusses loneliness as a potential indicator that one is meant for a 'bigger purpose.' The speaker suggests that feeling lonely might be a sign that one is different and not meant to fit in with certain social groups, which aligns with the video's theme of individuality and self-discovery.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. The video emphasizes the importance of gratitude as a way to combat envy and jealousy. The speaker encourages the audience to appreciate what they have and to recognize that every blessing, no matter how small, is significant.

💡Mindset

Mindset refers to a set of attitudes held by an individual that shape how they interpret and react to experiences. In the video, the speaker talks about the importance of having a mindset that aligns with one's values and goals. They suggest that having a different mindset can lead to feelings of not fitting in, but it can also be an indicator of having a unique purpose or path in life.

Highlights

The importance of writing down personal issues for self-understanding and healing.

Being a people pleaser can lead to self-neglect and overthinking.

Suggestion to treat oneself as the main character of one's own life.

Advice on not compromising one's principles for others' happiness.

The concept of 'Aura' being linked to individuals who prioritize their own story.

Encouragement to stand on one's principles as a sign of strength.

Discussion on the negative outcomes of not having principles.

The idea that principles are essential for being respected in relationships.

Overthinking can be mitigated by writing down thoughts and solutions.

The '5-minute rule' as a strategy for managing overthinking.

Overthinking in relationships can lead to unnecessary conflicts.

The importance of letting go of things one cannot control in relationships.

Attachment issues often stem from fear of change and the unknown.

Envy and jealousy are seen as hindrances to personal growth and happiness.

Appreciating what one has is key to overcoming envy and jealousy.

The significance of being comfortable with being alone and understanding its purpose.

The idea that being different and having a unique purpose is a strength.

Encouragement to embrace one's uniqueness and not conform to others' expectations.

The notion that true friends will support and respect your individuality.

The importance of surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals for mutual growth.

Transcripts

[Music]

what's good YouTube we back with another

video and today we talking about

actually what are we talking about let's

say being a people's pleasing I had

wrote about this a long time ago and I

feel like y'all what y'all need to start

doing if yall having like anything

that's really going on in your life that

you see that's a constant issue constant

issue I want you to start writing it

down either if it's in your notes or on

paper you know I mean just start writing

it down because that's a good way of

actually understanding and healing

yourself because you're letting your own

thought sometimes people don't got a

time to speak out loud to themselves or

sometimes people ain't got time to speak

to somebody they really care about CU

they you know what I mean people don't

want to go to therapist sometimes so you

could be your own therapist or be the

own person you feel me I feel like a lot

of people go through a lot of issues and

just ball it up and lead to a lot of

overthinking because you don't say it

out loud but being a people's pleaser I

wrote about this long time ago and it's

really just more so

about um making yourself into a slave

for other people you know what I mean

like you would not let your true self

come out because you want to uh for

another person to like you or you want

this other person validation or you want

this other person opinion to matter so

much and really in real life bro it

doesn't matter like like you are your

center of your life so you got to treat

yourself like you're the main character

of your life you know what I mean I feel

like that's a lot of people get things

Miss misre that's where that word Aura

come from you know what I mean it comes

from

people like not P or s that that's

coming people making their s the main

character of their Own Story cuz you're

the you're Your Own Story you know what

I mean you got your own path going on

and you got to make yourself the main

character don't ever put yourself under

don't try to make nobody else happy

don't try to do anything you can make

other people happy don't get it wrong

like don't get it wrong you can make

other people happy but don't if if it

leads to you not being yourself or you

not standing on your principles and

that's one thing you really got to do

have your principles say all these

principles are going to be things that

you set as a man you know what I mean

every man should have principles you

have these principles

then these the principles that you not

going to let nothing happen no matter

what you're standing on these principles

you know what I mean that that's just

one good thing you stand on your

principle you stand on what you believe

in and that just makes you a man that's

why I feel like really a real man is is

a person that can stand on his principle

but you stand on these principles and

you don't let

nobody break them don't let nobody break

them you know what I mean just for

somebody else happiness you know don't

do that I feel like you can make other

people happy but if it goes against you

you don't do it cuz it was a lot of

times where a lot of people

will dick Rod dick Rod they'll dick Rod

you they'll dick Rod to the the the max

the fullest you will see that a lot in

high school like a popularity or you

will see that like on Instagram you

still see that in a bigger world people

would dick ride because of a popularity

or or anything if they feel like

somebody is above them they will dick

ride them and they will try to make them

happy you know what I mean oh I'm too

scared to say this because I don't know

how this person will feel about man [ __ ]

that person cuz at the end of the day

you you're the only one that really

matters you know what I mean you're the

really one that matters because if you

put things into a different perspective

will they do the same thing for you

probably not so I feel like it's always

good just to you know what I mean it's

always good just to um keep your

principles and everything and and engage

you know what I mean keep your

principles like stand on them shits

because bro the day you don't let your

principles like the day you don't let

your principles um like Collide like the

day you the day you drop your principles

is the day everybody's going to run over

you and that aura factor that you think

that's that aura Factor yeah that's

going to go away all of that is going

away as soon as you drop your principles

you got to have your principles said I

don't think no girl or anybody wants to

talk to anybody that doesn't have

principles set up if we can run all over

you you think somebody will want to make

you their boyfriend or your girlfriend

if we can run over you no fam that's not

it fam don't let don't let nobody just

run over you fam have your principles

man maybe um maybe you have a principle

of I not going to smoke don't let nobody

change that you not going to smoke maybe

maybe you say I'm not want to uh I don't

know I'm I was going to say some crazy

[ __ ] but we not even going to say that

cuz I a trying to get cancel on this

[ __ ] but but it was it has to do with

the lgbtq you know what I mean it just

had to do a lot bro but just look if you

have your principal or your morals just

just stand on them shits you know I feel

like as a man I feel like I'm principles

are things that every man should have

every man should have a solid principle

Factor that's what makes every man a man

is their principles things that you set

in in place that you're never going to

ever drop don't ever set no principles

in place and not follow them rules you

know what I mean those rules you make

for yourself that you don't ever let

nobody Cross or you don't drop you know

what I mean because soon as you drop

that no more you basically dropping your

manhood you know what I mean everybody

lovees to say the aura Factor now the AA

factor is literally a man or F with

principles somebody who's okay yeah I

believe in this so I'mma stand on this

no matter who cares if whoever listens

to this or whoever feels a type of way

about what I feel this is what I feel

and that's where that aura Factor come

in people will look at you a different

type away people will look at you like

oh I I can I can rob with this person

because I know at the at the end of the

day they going to have a principle set

and but yeah next thing I'm going to

talk about is overthinking I feel like

overthinking is something that a lot of

people go through including myself and I

went through it the most when I used to

smoke a lot but shout out to uh this

lightskinned dude named bonut he really

helped me um with the overthinking he

has told me um he had said he had said

when you overthink write it on a piece

of paper and write the solution down

after you write on a piece of paper

write the solution down to your

overthinking and once I started get to

writing um my overthinking and why I was

overthinking I just realized how stupid

it really was like why am I overthinking

over these little things why probably

cuz I have little issues inside of

myself so that's why I had to really

like look into and I just wrote down the

solutions and I realized just how easy

it was to just fix them things um um

maybe you can even do this five uh five

out of five uh minute rule so this is

this is a rule where if it doesn't

matter in 5 years why are you going to

think about it for five minutes you

shouldn't think about it if it not going

to if it's not going to matter in 5

years don't think about it longer than 5

minutes you feel me overthinking in a

relationship now overthinking in a

relationship is is not good because a

lot of the times that's what leads to

the the uh the end of the relationships

because people have this SoCal image in

their mind and perspectives in their

mind that's really not even that true

it's going to lead to more arguments and

more disputes and everything else like

people can't find the time to understand

that things you can't

control you just got to let go you know

things you can't control you just got to

let go a lot of the time people want to

force somebody into doing this or

forcing somebody into that because they

got problems within theirself but you

just got to truly understand that if you

can't control it you just got to let it

go you can't change somebody into doing

something else that they want to do you

know what see you know what I'm trying

to say like you can't change somebody's

opinion or change what somebody wants to

do if they want to do it or if they

think what they think you know what I

mean you can't it's just dumb it's like

talking to a tree and asking for it to

talk back it's not going to talk back

you just got to understand that like you

can plant a seed into something

but it's not guaranteed it's going to

grow because it's still going to have to

have water it's still going to have to

have sun and and if and if it don't want

that water or don't want that sun it's

not going to grow you feel what I'm

saying so what I what I say the best way

to um not overthink in a relationship is

just let things be you know what I mean

let things be um you truly in your own

self if you feel like anything shady is

happening in a relationship or anything

weird is going on then I feel like like

you should be able to um understand that

and and push away you know what I mean I

promise you things will clear up for you

once you understand that like let me let

me try to take a step back and see if

this person car for me as much as I care

for them let's see if I take a step back

if this person will fight for me as much

as I will fight for them and once you

step back and you see that that person

was not is not going to do the same

things and not going to go to the same

extent that they will want you to go

through you going to realize like I'm

just doing this for what this this is

pointless you feel what I'm saying I got

my answers you got the complete answers

you got everything that you need to know

once you realize that this person is not

going to fight the same way you're going

to fight you got all your answers you

need to know and now it's just up to you

for you to have that fight and courage

to let that person go I know it's going

to be hard cuz a lot of people got a lot

of attachment issues a lot of attachment

issues come from just wanting I don't I

really don't even know what attachment

issues really come from it just really

come from I guess it's just a human

emotion for real like you get you get so

used to one thing that no matter where

what happens you're going to get used to

going back because it's just that used

it's just what you used to know I feel

like a lot of people just don't like new

things and and a lot of people don't

want to start over it or experience

anything new because they're scared of

what is to come they scared of what's to

happen but they know what's going to

happen if they say with this person cuz

they know what this person is about you

feel what I'm saying that's what them

attachment issues go through like I feel

like that's just what attachment it's

going to be you feel I think I think I

feel like

envy and jealousy are like the two Val

things to like the devil I feel like

that's the devil's key things and I feel

like he gets a lot of people with this I

feel like this is main goal is to set

that envy that jealousy and that envy

and jealousy is basically when you see

somebody else winning and you basically

just saying why not me instead of seeing

all the things that God have did for you

in your life right now and and say God

I'm appreciative of everything that you

have did I wouldn't want to be any other

different predicament I know there's

other probably better predicaments but

I'm thankful for everything that you

have did because a lot of the times

people like seem not to like understand

that God how you going to be blessed

with um a blessing if you can't even

acknowledge the blessing that's right in

front of you you know what I mean if God

was to give you a better blessing how

would you even acknowledge that if you

can't even acknowledge what you got

right now you know what I mean so I feel

like the best way to understand is

everything that God does everything that

God do don't question just just

appreciate because things can be way

worse than what there already is I know

there's

better but you got to you got to be able

to take the small before you can even

get the big you know what I mean but

don't even look at it as small or big

because every blessing is a blessing at

the end of the day you know what I mean

it's no bigger blessing than a smaller

blessing you know what I mean you got

another chance to wake up and live you

got another chance to breathe you know

what I mean maybe you ain't got the

Lamborghini but guess what you still

breathing you're still eating you know

what I mean there's people that's not

eating there's people that's not

breathing you know what I mean so you

just got to understand that like okay I

still got my legs I still got this I

still got that that means there's

another chance for another day for me to

go out there and strive to be better

than what I was yes yesterday you know

what I mean you having trouble fitting

in you having trouble finding friends

finding that friend group you you talk

to people but it's just like your

mindset and their mindset is just not

there you know what I mean that popular

laner you feel like why is it just me

maybe I'm just not cool enough maybe I'm

just not no it's never that you feel

what I'm saying I'm [ __ ] I'm cool as

[ __ ] I'm cool as [ __ ] but gu what I talk

to I only got Associates I never really

had no too many friends because my

mindset in my level of thinking was just

on a different type of scale you feel

what I'm saying a lot of people be

thinking about a lot of [ __ ] and I

be thinking about you know what I mean a

lot of I be thinking about a lot of deep

intelligent [ __ ] that a lot of people

wouldn't want to talk about that at this

young early age you feel what I'm saying

and I be trying to get people on God I

be trying to help people I be trying to

help a lot of people because I bro I

went through a lot mentally fighting I

went through a lot a lot a lot of people

just be so close-minded and so stuck in

this generation and want to be outside

and and wanting to be um things that

they're really just not and that's just

never been me I wouldn't want to fit in

with nobody if I have to um be a slave

to my own self I want to be my true self

every day I want to be happy every day I

want to be know I want to be happy

knowing that I'm myself I don't want to

fit in with no friend group knowing that

I ain't myself you know what I mean a

lot of people try to not be their s to

be in a friend group that [ __ ] lame as

hell that [ __ ] that [ __ ] lame as [ __ ]

like you you in a friend group where

they not even respecting you and you

still in that [ __ ] because why

you wanted friends no [ __ ] that [ __ ]

lame as [ __ ] [ __ ] don't do that [ __ ] or

you will bring up some [ __ ] that you

want to do they would look at you crazy

like what the [ __ ] [ __ ] we ain't doing

that sh [ __ ] don't why is they your

friends they ain't your friends cuz

guess what you can tell me you want to

go jump out of goddamn Sky you want you

can go tell me you want to goddamn paint

with [ __ ] polar bears and [ __ ] I'm

going be like [ __ ] let's do it I'm be

like [ __ ] that's stupid as [ __ ] but

guess what we going to do it you know

what I mean I ain't never type the judge

you feel me I'm never the type the judge

type to hate and I feel like a lot of

people just get that Mis screwed I feel

like a lot of people don't know their

purpose I feel like your purpose is way

bigger than what the whatever is going

on in that little friend group or

whatever you feel what I'm saying I feel

like you just around the wrong people

like-minded people should be around each

other because they will only make each

other better I feel like God makes you

lonely because he knows that you're one

of the you're one of the different ones

that he wants to be separated from the

rest you know what I mean you're one of

the different ones he knows you got a

bigger plan than everybody else and you

got a different destination than

everybody else that you want to be

friends with so he would purposely do

things to try to push you or that friend

group away or separate y'all and that's

one of the best ways to do it because

y'all would be so attachment issues or

whatever to try to keep that thing

because I don't want to be lonely Y'all

Scared to be by your yourself but once

you be by yourself you will understand

that like oh my my mind is way different

than everybody else's um maybe I

actually got a bigger purpose maybe

there's something I really need to be

doing that um a lot of people don't need

a lot of people not doing right now you

know what I mean so I feel like it's

always good if you ever feel lonely I

feel like it's always good to just know

that uh it's a bigger purpose out there

it's a bigger purpose of why you're

lonely you don't feel like you a loser

because you ain't got no friends just

understand that you are different you

are different you are truly special you

are actually got something that a lot of

people else don't got maybe you don't

see it but you but you are like you

really are truly you feel what I'm

saying

[Music]

[Music]