Allowing Feelings to Come Close

Summary

In this insightful dialogue, the speaker explores the concept of vulnerability as a state of complete openness and sensitivity, rather than weakness. They discuss the importance of embracing existential feelings of lack and unmet needs without resistance, suggesting that awareness, like physical space, inherently lacks resistance. The speaker guides listeners to establish themselves as the space of awareness, allowing uncomfortable feelings to arise without fixation, thus neutralizing the unpleasantness born from resistance. The conversation also touches on the practice of comparing emotional sensations with neutral ones to achieve a state of equanimity.

Takeaways

• 🧘‍♂️ Vulnerability in this context refers to being utterly sensitive and open to experiences without resistance, rather than being easily hurt.
• 🔍 The speaker suggests that instead of trying to eliminate feelings of existential lack or unmet needs, one should allow these feelings to arise and be fully present with them.
• 🌟 It's important to establish oneself as the space of awareness, allowing feelings to come without focusing on or fixating them.
• 🏠 The concept of 'space' is used to illustrate the idea that awareness, like physical space, does not resist or judge experiences that occur within it.
• 🚫 The speaker advises against turning the process into a practice or an act of will, but rather to recognize the inherent non-resistance of awareness.
• 🔑 Recognizing that awareness cannot be hurt by feelings is key to neutralizing the resistance and the perceived unpleasantness of those feelings.
• 🔄 The process involves inviting feelings closer and ceasing to push them away, which can lead to a realization that the feeling is not inherently unpleasant.
• 🤔 The speaker suggests that the closer one brings a feeling to oneself, the more one finds that the acceptance once sought by avoiding the feeling is found at the heart of the feeling itself.
• 🔍 The technique of alternating attention between a neutral sensation and an emotional one is proposed to help neutralize the emotional charge of the latter.
• 🌱 The process may take time due to old habits of resistance, and the speaker encourages patience and persistence in sitting with feelings until resistance is no longer felt.

Q & A

What does the speaker mean by being 'vulnerable' in the context of awareness?

In this context, 'vulnerable' does not mean easily hurt. Instead, it refers to being utterly sensitive and completely open to all experiences without resistance, whether they are pleasant or painful.

How does the speaker suggest dealing with feelings of vulnerability?

The speaker suggests establishing oneself as the space of awareness and allowing feelings to come close without focusing on or resisting them. This involves not pushing the feelings away and recognizing that as awareness, one is inherently free of resistance.

Why does the speaker emphasize not turning the process into a practice?

The speaker emphasizes this because turning it into a practice implies an effort to make the mind accept something, which is not the goal. Instead, the focus should be on recognizing and feeling the inherent nature of awareness as free from resistance.

What is the significance of the speaker's instruction to not focus on the feelings?

The significance lies in maintaining the awareness as the space where feelings arise and dissipate without attachment or resistance. This helps in neutralizing the feelings and experiencing them without the discomfort that comes from resistance.

How does the speaker differentiate between the sensation in the throat and the soles of the feet?

The sensation in the throat is charged with emotion, while the sensation in the soles of the feet is neutral. The speaker uses this comparison to help individuals feel the raw sensation of the throat without the emotional charge, aiming to neutralize the emotion.

What is the purpose of inviting feelings close in the process described?

Inviting feelings close is a way to cease pushing them away and to experience them as part of the awareness without resistance. This leads to the realization that the feelings are not inherently unpleasant; it is the resistance that makes them so.

Why does the speaker suggest alternating between sensations of the throat and the soles of the feet?

Alternating between these sensations helps to equalize the emotional charge associated with the throat sensation with the neutral sensation of the feet, aiming to neutralize the emotional response to the throat sensation.

What does the speaker mean when they say that the 'space of awareness' does not know resistance?

The 'space of awareness' refers to the inherent nature of awareness that is open and receptive to all experiences without judgment or resistance. It is the state of being that allows experiences to arise and pass without clinging or aversion.

How does the speaker address the concern of the mind becoming active when being with vulnerability?

The speaker addresses this by suggesting that one should not focus on the feelings or the mind's activity but instead remain as the space of awareness, which is inherently free of resistance and does not engage in the mental loops of resistance.

What is the role of the imaginary self in the process of dealing with vulnerability as described by the speaker?

The imaginary self is the part that arises within awareness and reacts with resistance or aversion to certain feelings. The speaker advises recognizing this self as separate from the true nature of awareness and returning to the space of awareness to neutralize resistance.

How does the speaker define the difference between awareness and the imaginary self?

Awareness is described as the open, empty space where all sensations, feelings, and thoughts arise without resistance. The imaginary self is a construct that interprets these experiences and may react with resistance or aversion, which is not inherent to awareness itself.

Outlines

00:00

🧘 Embracing Vulnerability and Openness

The speaker discusses the concept of awareness being both vulnerable and open. They clarify that vulnerability here refers to being utterly sensitive and receptive to all experiences without resistance, rather than being easily hurt. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing oneself as the space of awareness, allowing feelings to arise without focusing on or resisting them. They suggest that by being with these feelings without an agenda, one can experience a sense of fulfillment and peace, as the resistance that makes feelings unpleasant is dissolved.

05:02

🔄 Neutralizing Unpleasant Feelings Through Awareness

The speaker elaborates on the idea of not turning the acceptance of feelings into a practice, but rather recognizing the inherent freedom from resistance within the space of awareness. They advise to stand knowingly as this space and allow feelings to come close without pushing them away. The speaker suggests that by ceasing to resist, one can neutralize the unpleasantness of feelings, as it is the resistance, not the feeling itself, that makes it unpleasant. They also provide a method of comparing an emotional sensation, like one in the throat, with a neutral sensation, like that on the soles of the feet, to help reduce the emotional charge until both sensations are felt equally.

10:02

🌟 Dissolving Emotional Resistance Through Sensation Awareness

In this paragraph, the speaker continues to explore the process of neutralizing emotional resistance by focusing on sensations. They suggest that the sensation in the throat, which is charged with emotion, can be neutralized by feeling it as a raw sensation, similar to the neutral sensation of the soles of the feet. The speaker instructs to go back and forth between these sensations until there is no difference, and resistance to the emotional sensation is eliminated. They emphasize that it is not the sensation itself that is unbearable, but the resistance to it, and that by returning to the space of awareness, one can overcome the resistance and the imaginary self that arises from it.

Keywords

💡Awareness

Awareness, in the context of the video, refers to the state of being conscious or mindful of one's thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is the foundation for the exploration of vulnerability and openness. The video emphasizes that true awareness is not just cognitive but also includes a deep sensitivity to experiences without resistance. An example from the script is the instruction to 'establish yourself as the space of awareness' to allow feelings to arise without judgment or resistance.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability here is defined as a state of openness to experiences, including those that may be uncomfortable or challenging. It is not about being easily hurt but rather about being utterly sensitive and receptive to all experiences without defense. The video discusses embracing vulnerability as a way to fully experience life, as illustrated by the advice to 'be with' feelings of lack or unmet needs without trying to change or escape them.

💡Resistance

Resistance is the act of opposing or pushing away certain feelings or experiences. In the video, it is portrayed as an obstacle to true awareness and vulnerability. The speaker suggests that by recognizing one's inherent lack of resistance as awareness, one can neutralize the unpleasantness of feelings. For instance, the script mentions that 'awareness is inherently free of resistance' and that recognizing this can transform how we relate to our emotions.

💡Space of Awareness

The 'space of awareness' is a metaphor used in the video to describe the expansive, non-judgmental state of consciousness that can contain all experiences. It is likened to a physical space that does not resist whatever occurs within it. The video encourages viewers to 'establish' themselves in this space to allow for the full experience of emotions without resistance, as in the guidance to 'remain as that space' and let feelings come close.

💡Exposure

Exposure in the script refers to the experience of being open to feelings and sensations without the protective barriers of resistance or judgment. It is related to vulnerability but emphasizes the直面 or直面 aspect of being with one's emotions. The video discusses how exposure can initially feel shaky or uncomfortable, as when the speaker describes the process of getting closer to uncomfortable feelings.

💡Emotional Charge

Emotional charge is the energy or intensity associated with an emotion or feeling. The video script discusses how sensations can become charged with emotion and how, through awareness, one can neutralize this charge. An example is the contrast between the neutral sensation of the soles of the feet and the emotionally charged sensation in the throat, which the speaker uses to illustrate the process of neutralization.

💡Neutralization

Neutralization, as discussed in the video, is the process of transforming emotional reactions into neutral sensations by changing one's relationship to them through awareness. It is about perceiving emotions without the resistance that makes them unpleasant. The script uses the example of comparing an emotionally charged sensation to a neutral one until they feel the same, indicating that the emotional charge has been neutralized.

💡Separate Self

The 'separate self' is a concept in the video that refers to the ego or the sense of self that often resists certain feelings or experiences. It is contrasted with the 'space of awareness,' which is open and non-judgmental. The video encourages viewers to recognize that they are not this separate self but the broader awareness in which thoughts and feelings arise, as exemplified by the instruction to 'go back to the space of awareness' when resistance arises.

💡Fulfillment

Fulfillment, in the context of the video, is the sense of wholeness and contentment that comes from fully embracing one's experiences, including emotions. It is contrasted with the pursuit of avoiding or changing feelings. The video suggests that by allowing feelings to come close without resistance, one can find a deeper fulfillment that was previously sought through avoidance, as indicated by the phrase 'the acceptance or fulfillment that you are previously seeking by trying to avoid the feeling.'

💡Sensitivity

Sensitivity, as used in the video, refers to the heightened state of perception and responsiveness to internal and external stimuli. It is a key aspect of vulnerability and awareness. The video emphasizes that true awareness is characterized by utter sensitivity, open to all experiences without resistance, as described in the line 'awareness...is utterly sensitive to everything completely open to everything.'

Highlights

The concept of awareness being vulnerable yet open is introduced.

The speaker relates to vulnerability but struggles with the idea of being completely open.

A webinar instruction is mentioned, suggesting to embrace existential lack rather than avoiding it.

The importance of not focusing on feelings but establishing oneself as the space of awareness is emphasized.

The idea that awareness, like physical space, inherently lacks resistance is presented.

The speaker suggests not turning awareness into a practice but recognizing it as a natural state.

The concept of allowing feelings to come close without resistance is explained.

The speaker clarifies the term 'vulnerable' to mean sensitive and open, rather than easily hurt.

The process of inviting feelings close and ceasing to push them away is described.

The notion that feelings are neutral from the perspective of awareness is introduced.

The speaker explains how resistance to feelings makes them unpleasant, not the feelings themselves.

The strategy of comparing emotional sensations with neutral sensations is suggested.

The importance of feeling sensations cleanly and intimately to neutralize emotions is discussed.

The speaker addresses the feeling of 'shakiness' when getting close to uncomfortable sensations.

The concept of not allowing the voice of resistance to contract one back into a separate self is highlighted.

The final point about awareness being pure sensitivity and openness, free from resistance, is made.

Transcripts

so I've heard you once say that

awareness can be set to be completely

vulnerable and yet totally open correct

I don't remember saying it buddy but yes

I'm I might just said yes yes because if

I said if you tell me I said that I

trust you you probably say a lot but

well I mean I can I can imagine if you

say a lot of things you may not remember

everything but in my experience I can

very much relate to the vulnerable part

and not so much to the the open part so

I could feel vulnerable but not so much

open but more exposed and naked and

being with that vulnerable Ness a few

weeks ago through the webinar you gave

me the the instructions to to let the

sense of of lack of existential lack of

unmet needs of to not so much try to get

rid of it but to let it come up and to

be with it and to fully fill it as it is

without any agenda without trying to get

rid of it but just to feel that just as

it is and I can I can feel that that in

itself makes it shaky because usually I

was so invested in trying to push it

away to meditate it away to do all sorts

of things even so-called spiritual

practices and it's the question that I'm

I'm left with is that in the face of

being with that vulnerable 'no sometimes

it's my mind becomes so active even

though I'm very much in touch with the

feeling still my mind takes a loop and

wonders whether being with those

feelings is either a form of going like

like a regression of

mentor whether it is an increase of

development of consciousness because

it's so unfamiliar territory to be with

the things that you've tried your whole

life to get away from so I'm wondering

if you could give me some some

directions in that how to be with that

first of all just to clarify what I mean

by vulnerable in this context I don't

mean easily hurt which is the very often

common association with the word unreal

I mean utterly sensitive how awarenesses

cannot be heard but is utterly sensitive

to everything completely open to

everything without resistance to any

experience however pleasant or painful

it may be I mean vulnerable in that

sense

so as regards allowing these feelings to

come up it's important that you don't

focus on the feelings make sure that

you've you have first of all established

yourself as the space of awareness and

that you are allowing the feelings

instead of pushing them away you are

allowing them to come close but you

you're not focusing on them

you're not fixating on them you're not

doing anything to them so it's very

important that that you first of all

establish that you are the space and you

remain as that space and you not only

understand but you feel as that space

that you are incapable of resistance how

could this physical space relatively

speaking resist anything that takes

place within it the space doesn't know

the meaning of resistance it doesn't

have to work hard that not resisting

each person that comes into this room

it's its nature is absence of resistance

well awareness is like that he doesn't

have been work hard so this is why

though what I'm suggesting is not don't

turn it into a practice it's not a

welcoming practice don't practice being

accepting that would be trying to make

your mind

accepting that's not what is being

suggested it's rather that trying to see

that you the space of awareness in which

your experience appears it's already and

inherently free of resistance and you

you first stand knowingly as that and

from that perspective you then allow the

feeling to come closing that the feeling

is already closed the feeling is already

one with awareness when I say allow it

to come close what I really mean is you

you cease pushing it away

you let it come first because you know I

know I mean feel you you know deeply you

feel that what you are cannot be hurt by

the

by the fiend there's no danger and

therefore you don't need to protect

yourself why would you want to defend

yourself from the feeling only if you

felt it could hurt me hurt you

so obviously you cannot reason this out

you have to feel I awareness cannot be

hurt by this feeling and therefore the

feeling is is welcoming in in your your

welcoming in you're lying the the

unpleasantness of the feeling will be

neutralized because from the perspective

of awareness the feeling is not

unpleasant the feeling is only

unpleasant to the one who resists it it

is not the feeling itself that is

inherently unpleasant it is your

resistance to it that makes the neutral

feeling unpleasant if you take your

stand as the space of awareness you

remove the resistance just by seeing

that what you are is inherently free of

resistance and that as it were

neutralizes the feeling it's no longer

something that needs to be and why just

in other words the closer you bring the

feeling to yourself you you find by

bringing it closer you you find that the

the acceptance or the fulfillment that

you are previously seeking by trying to

avoid the feeling now you find the same

fulfilment at the very heart of the

feeling by bringing it close not by

pushing it away and you can be very

specific about this if you feel a

specific feeling like jealousy or

anxiety or fear or shame isolate the

feelings sit down close your eyes

establish I am the space of awareness

and invite this feeling close and it may

take time because of the old habit of

resisting or pushing away the feeling it

may take time don't just think okay yes

I'd welcome the feeling that's it

it will take time to sit with a feeling

until you can honestly say there is no

resistance to this feeling or until you

can answer yes to the question can I

live with this feeling forever and see

what remains of your jealousy then hey

because the suggestion you gave back

then was to alternate between the

sensation on the sole of your feet which

is neutral and okay that the ones the

the feeling in there and the throat and

I was just just wondering because I have

been exploring and investigating it so

what I found is that in my investigation

the whereas I would first feel bit more

distant to the the sensation in my

throat I feel now that it comes closer

and by getting closer to it I also feel

it becomes a bit more shaky because I

haven't gone that close before so just

wondering if that is going into the

right direction when you say it gets

shaky what do you mean it begins to get

shaky to get close to something that is

so uncomfortable that that might my mind

interpret it says being uncomfortable

but that's why I suggested comparing you

see you described an emotion which was a

you felt in in your in your throat and I

contrasted that with not an emotion but

simply a neutral sensation of the source

of your feet you would never say that

the sensation of the source of your feet

was an emotion it's just a neutral

sensation you could easily live with a

sensation at the source of your feet for

the rest of your life it has no

emotional charge to it so the reason I

suggested going back and forth with your

attention from the sensation of the

soles of your feet to this sensation in

your throat which is charged with

emotion is it to go back and forth until

you feel that there's no difference

between them because actually that

sensation in your throat is just a

sensation in your throat which you have

invested with emotion so what

trying to to get you is to feel the

sensation so cleanly and so intimately

that you just feel the raw sensation in

the same way that you now feel the raw

sensation of the soles of your feet so

it was a it was a comparison to go back

and forth until they both have the same

quality and until there's no more

impasse in you to resist the sensation

in your throat then there is to resist

the sensation of the soles of your feet

that's when you know that the the

emotion in your throat has been

neutralized and so that way it's so you

use the sensation that your your feet

might make a kind of it's like it kind

of mean any emotion that you take you

could compare it with a neutral

sensation such as a source of heat your

feet and go back and forth until they

same both have the same quality it is

your

distance to the sensation that makes it

unbearable it is not the sensation

itself it's not the feeling itself that

is unbearable

it's our resistance to it and it is not

awareness that is doing the resistance

it is this imaginary self that is

somewhere in between awareness and the

sensation that comes up that arises up

and says I don't like this so when that

voice becomes stronger the resistance

towards the go back to the space of

awareness don't allow that voice to

contract you back into a separate self

you are not that the voice that says I

don't like this you are the open empty

space of awareness in which the voice

and the sensation and the feeling are

arising and that space is not saying I

don't like this that space is pure

sensitivity pure openness it doesn't

know the meaning of the word resistance

you