The Ultimate Advice For Every 19 Year Old
Summary
TLDRIn this conversation, a 19-year-old named John discusses his struggle with finding a clear goal and motivation in life. He expresses feeling stuck, having many hobbies but unsure how to turn them into a career. The dialogue explores the idea that experiencing pain or adversity can clarify one's purpose, as it did for the other person at John's age, who was driven by the need to care for his mother. The discussion challenges John to consider what he would do if faced with significant hardship, suggesting that such a scenario could provide the motivation he's seeking.
Takeaways
- ๐ค The conversation explores the idea of turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding direction in life, especially for a 19-year-old.
- ๐ฏ The individual expresses feeling stuck and lacking a clear goal, which is a common sentiment among young adults exploring their interests.
- ๐ธ The discussion touches on the saturation in fields like photography and videography, making it difficult to stand out and find a unique path.
- ๐คทโโ๏ธ There's an acknowledgment of not having a specific goal, which leads to a broader conversation about motivation and purpose.
- ๐ The concept of 'why' is introduced as a fundamental question to answer in order to find personal motivation and direction.
- ๐ Family responsibilities and the desire to care for loved ones are presented as potential catalysts for discovering one's purpose and ambition.
- ๐ก The conversation suggests that experiencing hardship or pain can lead to clarity and a stronger sense of purpose in life.
- ๐ซ The dialogue implies that comfort and a lack of struggle might hinder the development of ambition and the pursuit of goals.
- ๐ญ The importance of identifying what one doesn't want in life is highlighted as a way to gain clarity on one's desires and ambitions.
- ๐ก A hypothetical scenario involving family crisis is used to illustrate how adversity can sharpen one's focus and drive.
- ๐ฎ The conversation concludes with a call to reflect on the potential impact of personal choices on future opportunities and the ability to support one's family.
Q & A
What is the main concern expressed by John in the conversation?
-John is concerned about not having a clear goal or direction in life, despite having various hobbies and interests.
How does John describe his current situation regarding his career?
-John is trying to do freelancing, but he feels stuck because he thinks it's too common and doesn't know where to go from there.
What question does Dan ask John to help him find his motivation?
-Dan asks John why he wakes up in the morning to help him identify what motivates him.
What example does Dan give to illustrate the importance of having a 'why' in life?
-Dan shares that at 19, his 'why' was to take care of his mom, which gave him clarity and focus in life.
How does Dan suggest that experiencing pain can lead to clarity in life?
-Dan suggests that experiencing pain, such as the loss of a loved one or financial struggles, can make one realize the preciousness of life and motivate them to take action.
What does Dan imply about the relationship between comfort and finding one's purpose?
-Dan implies that being in a comfortable situation might prevent someone from finding their purpose because they haven't experienced enough pain or struggle.
What scenario does Dan paint to help John understand the urgency of finding his goal?
-Dan paints a scenario where John's father can no longer support him and his mother is sick, forcing John to take action and find a way to support his family.
How does John react to the hypothetical scenario presented by Dan?
-John reacts by saying he would develop what he's already doing, indicating that the scenario gives him more clarity on what he should focus on.
What advice does Dan give John regarding his lack of a clear goal?
-Dan advises John to think about the pain of not being able to help his family when they need him the most, suggesting that this could motivate him to develop his abilities.
What does Dan suggest could be the outcome if John fails to develop his abilities early on?
-Dan suggests that if John fails to develop his abilities and his mother passes away due to his lack of ambition, he would not forgive himself and would look at life very differently.
Outlines
๐ค Struggling with Finding a Goal and Motivation
The conversation starts with a discussion about turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding a clear direction in life. The individual expresses uncertainty about their goals and feels stuck, despite having various interests and hobbies. They are currently exploring freelancing but find it too common in fields like photography and videography. The conversation delves into the importance of having a 'why' or a driving force behind one's actions. The speaker shares a personal story about how their 'why' was to take care of their mother, which provided clarity and focus. The discussion suggests that sometimes, comfort can hinder the discovery of one's true motivations and goals. The individual acknowledges their comfort and the pressure to give back to their family, which contrasts with the speaker's advice that experiencing pain or challenges can often lead to clarity and motivation.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กInterest
๐กHobby
๐กCareer
๐กFreelancing
๐กGoal
๐กMotivation
๐กComfort
๐กPain
๐กAmbition
๐กClarity
๐กDebt
Highlights
The conversation explores the idea of turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding direction at a young age.
John expresses his struggle with identifying a clear goal for his future.
The discussion touches on the commonality of interests like photography and videography, and the saturation in these fields.
John admits to feeling 'stuck' and lacking a clear goal, despite having various interests and hobbies.
The conversation delves into the importance of understanding what motivates an individual.
The concept of finding clarity through adversity and pain is introduced.
John acknowledges the comfort and support provided by his family, which may be hindering his motivation.
The idea that experiencing pain can lead to a deeper appreciation for life and goals is discussed.
The conversation suggests that not knowing what you want can be due to a lack of significant life challenges.
John considers the impact of debt and the pressure it can put on one's goals and ambitions.
A hypothetical scenario is presented where John's family faces financial and health challenges, prompting him to reassess his priorities.
The conversation emphasizes the potential for extraordinary growth and change in response to significant life events.
John is encouraged to reflect on the pain of not being able to help his family if they needed him, as a motivator for finding clarity and direction.
The conversation concludes with a suggestion for John to use the hypothetical scenario as a tool for self-reflection and goal setting.
John expresses gratitude for the conversation and the insights gained.
Transcripts
Question, hi.
- Sure.
- Sorry Dan, I'm John.
- John.
- Cool.
- So, in terms of interest, some people make interest
into a hobby and hobby into like a career, yeah business.
What are your thoughts on that?
Because I have like a lot of different weird hobbies
and also interest and I don't know where to go with that.
So I'm 19 trying to do this freelancing stuff.
I think it's way too common, in terms of like photography,
and like videography stuff.
So I don't know where to go from there, kind of stuck.
- What's your goal?
- What's my goal?
- Yeah.
- Well, that's the thing, I don't have a goal.
And I'm lost in terms of finding that goal,
because you said, start with a skill.
Like Yeah, I can just find a skill that I enjoy developing
but in terms of goal I don't really have that.
Unless like my goal is to you know,
be the best at that one thing, which is like.
- Why do you wake up in the morning?
- Why do I wake up in the morning?
- What motivates you?
- That's a good question.
I mean, like, I don't know what motivates me but.
- That's a good question to start off with.
- Yeah, sure.
- Before we do anything else, right?
What if I can't figure it out?
Or what if I've been attempting to
but I can't like figure it out?
- I think for anybody, like an example,
if I was your age at 19 years old.
- Yeah.
- My why was my mom.
- Right, okay.
- I needed to take care of my mom.
There was no hobby.
There was no anything else except taking care of my mom.
That becomes my sole focus.
- Right.
- And that gave me a lot clarity in life.
Because I put that ahead of anything else.
So maybe sometimes I notice, I don't know enough
about your family, right?
- Yeah.
(laughs)
- Sometimes comfort may not be such a good thing.
- That's the thing because I've been so, I know,
I'm very lucky because I'm from Malaysia, right?
You know, I was lucky enough to come over here and start
to study and the whole thing that like, you know, my dad
always telling me like what he had to go through
to put me here.
It's kind of making me like, oh, instead of feeling
like okay, I need to give back but it's more like,
wow, it's too comfortable.
- Yeah.
- And I, yeah.
- Usually because I noticed when people don't figure
what they want to do usually because they haven't
experienced enough pain.
- Wow.
- Life is good, it's comfortable.
- I don't think like there's like physical pain, you know?
- But the pain
- Yeah, right.
- So when you experience pain, you will know life
is precious, then you won't ___ around.
- Yeah, okay fair enough.
- When I say precious meaning, when my dad passed away,
when they got divorced, when I was in debt, all these things
at a young age it tells me you know, I don't, sometimes
you don't know what you want.
It's very good to figure out what you don't want.
- Right.
- What I know I don't want is, I don't want to struggle.
I want to be able to care for the people I love.
So that gave me a lot of clarity
- Oh yeah, so I actually just put myself in debt.
So like I know what that is?
- No, not necessary.
But then when you are, so example your mom and dad together.
- Yeah, they're fine.
- They're good, right?
- They're Good.
- Now just paint a picture in your mind,
it's gonna be dark, but I mean.
- Okay.
(laughs)
- Suddenly your dad can't support you anymore.
- Yup, I'd be sent back home.
And then your mom is sick.
She's in hospital but your dad can't support you anymore
because your mom is sick.
She, and he can he can't even provide
the best health care for you mom.
- Yeah.
- What would you do?
- I think do what I'm already doing now, but just develop
it further than already, yeah, okay I see what you mean
- And would you still kind of,
"Well I'm not so sure about what I like."
Or would you say, "I don't give a shit."
- Just doing what's already working
and just grow from there.
- Have you seen that it's given you more clarity
if you think of it that way
But think of that, it has not happened.
- Right.
- It's okay, that's just a scenario.
- Thank God.
- But, what if it happens?
Nothing pains a son more when your family needs help,
desperate needs help, you cannot help them.
- Right.
- There's nothing with pain, you will remember
that for the rest of your life.
And if your mother passed away, because as a lack
of ambition early on in your part, because as son,
you didn't develop the ability, you fucked around.
You will not forgive yourself.
- Yeah.
- And you will look at things very differently from now on.
And you will become a extraordinary person.
Think about that.
- Okay, thanks.
(laughs)
See you later.
Oh, we say, I need that film, I to like re play that 24/7
Did you film that?
- Yes.
- Thank you, thank you.
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