The Ultimate Advice For Every 19 Year Old

Dan Lok
13 Dec 201904:50

Summary

TLDRIn this conversation, a 19-year-old named John discusses his struggle with finding a clear goal and motivation in life. He expresses feeling stuck, having many hobbies but unsure how to turn them into a career. The dialogue explores the idea that experiencing pain or adversity can clarify one's purpose, as it did for the other person at John's age, who was driven by the need to care for his mother. The discussion challenges John to consider what he would do if faced with significant hardship, suggesting that such a scenario could provide the motivation he's seeking.

Takeaways

  • ๐Ÿค” The conversation explores the idea of turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding direction in life, especially for a 19-year-old.
  • ๐ŸŽฏ The individual expresses feeling stuck and lacking a clear goal, which is a common sentiment among young adults exploring their interests.
  • ๐Ÿ“ธ The discussion touches on the saturation in fields like photography and videography, making it difficult to stand out and find a unique path.
  • ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ There's an acknowledgment of not having a specific goal, which leads to a broader conversation about motivation and purpose.
  • ๐ŸŒ… The concept of 'why' is introduced as a fundamental question to answer in order to find personal motivation and direction.
  • ๐Ÿ  Family responsibilities and the desire to care for loved ones are presented as potential catalysts for discovering one's purpose and ambition.
  • ๐Ÿ’ก The conversation suggests that experiencing hardship or pain can lead to clarity and a stronger sense of purpose in life.
  • ๐Ÿšซ The dialogue implies that comfort and a lack of struggle might hinder the development of ambition and the pursuit of goals.
  • ๐Ÿ’ญ The importance of identifying what one doesn't want in life is highlighted as a way to gain clarity on one's desires and ambitions.
  • ๐Ÿก A hypothetical scenario involving family crisis is used to illustrate how adversity can sharpen one's focus and drive.
  • ๐Ÿ”ฎ The conversation concludes with a call to reflect on the potential impact of personal choices on future opportunities and the ability to support one's family.

Q & A

  • What is the main concern expressed by John in the conversation?

    -John is concerned about not having a clear goal or direction in life, despite having various hobbies and interests.

  • How does John describe his current situation regarding his career?

    -John is trying to do freelancing, but he feels stuck because he thinks it's too common and doesn't know where to go from there.

  • What question does Dan ask John to help him find his motivation?

    -Dan asks John why he wakes up in the morning to help him identify what motivates him.

  • What example does Dan give to illustrate the importance of having a 'why' in life?

    -Dan shares that at 19, his 'why' was to take care of his mom, which gave him clarity and focus in life.

  • How does Dan suggest that experiencing pain can lead to clarity in life?

    -Dan suggests that experiencing pain, such as the loss of a loved one or financial struggles, can make one realize the preciousness of life and motivate them to take action.

  • What does Dan imply about the relationship between comfort and finding one's purpose?

    -Dan implies that being in a comfortable situation might prevent someone from finding their purpose because they haven't experienced enough pain or struggle.

  • What scenario does Dan paint to help John understand the urgency of finding his goal?

    -Dan paints a scenario where John's father can no longer support him and his mother is sick, forcing John to take action and find a way to support his family.

  • How does John react to the hypothetical scenario presented by Dan?

    -John reacts by saying he would develop what he's already doing, indicating that the scenario gives him more clarity on what he should focus on.

  • What advice does Dan give John regarding his lack of a clear goal?

    -Dan advises John to think about the pain of not being able to help his family when they need him the most, suggesting that this could motivate him to develop his abilities.

  • What does Dan suggest could be the outcome if John fails to develop his abilities early on?

    -Dan suggests that if John fails to develop his abilities and his mother passes away due to his lack of ambition, he would not forgive himself and would look at life very differently.

Outlines

00:00

๐Ÿค” Struggling with Finding a Goal and Motivation

The conversation starts with a discussion about turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding a clear direction in life. The individual expresses uncertainty about their goals and feels stuck, despite having various interests and hobbies. They are currently exploring freelancing but find it too common in fields like photography and videography. The conversation delves into the importance of having a 'why' or a driving force behind one's actions. The speaker shares a personal story about how their 'why' was to take care of their mother, which provided clarity and focus. The discussion suggests that sometimes, comfort can hinder the discovery of one's true motivations and goals. The individual acknowledges their comfort and the pressure to give back to their family, which contrasts with the speaker's advice that experiencing pain or challenges can often lead to clarity and motivation.

Mindmap

Keywords

๐Ÿ’กInterest

Interest in this context refers to a hobby or an activity that someone is passionate about. It is a driving force that can motivate individuals to pursue their passions and potentially turn them into careers. In the script, John mentions having 'a lot of different weird hobbies' and interests, indicating that he is exploring various passions but is unsure how to channel them into a clear career path.

๐Ÿ’กHobby

A hobby is an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. In the transcript, the concept of hobbies is discussed in relation to turning them into a career, suggesting that what one enjoys in their free time can be developed into a profession. John's uncertainty about his hobbies reflects a common struggle among young people trying to find their path.

๐Ÿ’กCareer

A career is a profession undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress. The script touches on the idea of transforming hobbies into careers, which is a common aspiration for many who wish to merge their personal interests with their professional lives. John's dilemma about his future career is a central theme in the conversation.

๐Ÿ’กFreelancing

Freelancing refers to the practice of working for oneself as a self-employed person rather than being employed by a company. In the script, John mentions trying his hand at freelancing, specifically in photography and videography, which are common fields for freelancers. This indicates his attempt to explore career options that allow flexibility and the potential to leverage his interests.

๐Ÿ’กGoal

A goal is a desired result that a person aims to achieve. In the conversation, the concept of setting goals is discussed as a way to find direction and motivation. John admits to not having a clear goal, which is identified as a potential reason for his feeling lost and lacking motivation.

๐Ÿ’กMotivation

Motivation is the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. The script explores the idea that understanding what motivates a person can help clarify their goals and actions. John's lack of clear motivation is highlighted as a barrier to discovering his path in life.

๐Ÿ’กComfort

Comfort in this context refers to a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. The conversation suggests that being in a comfortable situation might hinder the development of ambition and the drive to achieve goals. John's comfort, due to his family's support, is contrasted with the idea that experiencing hardship can lead to a stronger sense of purpose.

๐Ÿ’กPain

Pain, as discussed in the script, can refer to emotional or physical suffering that can act as a catalyst for change. It is suggested that experiencing pain can lead to a deeper understanding of one's priorities and can motivate individuals to take action. The speaker uses the concept of pain to illustrate how it can lead to clarity and ambition.

๐Ÿ’กAmbition

Ambition is a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. In the conversation, ambition is presented as a quality that can be developed, especially in response to challenges or hardships. The speaker implies that without ambition, one might miss out on opportunities to grow and support their loved ones.

๐Ÿ’กClarity

Clarity in this context means having a clear and definite understanding of something. The script discusses how facing difficult situations can bring clarity to one's life, helping to define goals and priorities. The speaker suggests that John might find clarity by considering worst-case scenarios and how he would respond to them.

๐Ÿ’กDebt

Debt refers to an obligation to pay a sum of money that is owed. In the script, the speaker mentions being in debt as a life experience that provided clarity and motivation. John also acknowledges having put himself in debt, which could be a point of reflection for him to consider his financial and career decisions.

Highlights

The conversation explores the idea of turning hobbies into careers and the challenges of finding direction at a young age.

John expresses his struggle with identifying a clear goal for his future.

The discussion touches on the commonality of interests like photography and videography, and the saturation in these fields.

John admits to feeling 'stuck' and lacking a clear goal, despite having various interests and hobbies.

The conversation delves into the importance of understanding what motivates an individual.

The concept of finding clarity through adversity and pain is introduced.

John acknowledges the comfort and support provided by his family, which may be hindering his motivation.

The idea that experiencing pain can lead to a deeper appreciation for life and goals is discussed.

The conversation suggests that not knowing what you want can be due to a lack of significant life challenges.

John considers the impact of debt and the pressure it can put on one's goals and ambitions.

A hypothetical scenario is presented where John's family faces financial and health challenges, prompting him to reassess his priorities.

The conversation emphasizes the potential for extraordinary growth and change in response to significant life events.

John is encouraged to reflect on the pain of not being able to help his family if they needed him, as a motivator for finding clarity and direction.

The conversation concludes with a suggestion for John to use the hypothetical scenario as a tool for self-reflection and goal setting.

John expresses gratitude for the conversation and the insights gained.

Transcripts

play00:00

Question, hi.

play00:00

- Sure.

play00:01

- Sorry Dan, I'm John.

play00:02

- John.

play00:03

- Cool.

play00:04

- So, in terms of interest, some people make interest

play00:07

into a hobby and hobby into like a career, yeah business.

play00:11

What are your thoughts on that?

play00:12

Because I have like a lot of different weird hobbies

play00:15

and also interest and I don't know where to go with that.

play00:17

So I'm 19 trying to do this freelancing stuff.

play00:21

I think it's way too common, in terms of like photography,

play00:24

and like videography stuff.

play00:25

So I don't know where to go from there, kind of stuck.

play00:28

- What's your goal?

play00:29

- What's my goal?

play00:31

- Yeah.

play00:32

- Well, that's the thing, I don't have a goal.

play00:35

And I'm lost in terms of finding that goal,

play00:38

because you said, start with a skill.

play00:40

Like Yeah, I can just find a skill that I enjoy developing

play00:43

but in terms of goal I don't really have that.

play00:45

Unless like my goal is to you know,

play00:47

be the best at that one thing, which is like.

play00:49

- Why do you wake up in the morning?

play00:50

- Why do I wake up in the morning?

play00:51

- What motivates you?

play00:54

- That's a good question.

play00:55

I mean, like, I don't know what motivates me but.

play00:58

- That's a good question to start off with.

play00:59

- Yeah, sure.

play01:00

- Before we do anything else, right?

play01:02

What if I can't figure it out?

play01:04

Or what if I've been attempting to

play01:05

but I can't like figure it out?

play01:08

- I think for anybody, like an example,

play01:10

if I was your age at 19 years old.

play01:13

- Yeah.

play01:14

- My why was my mom.

play01:16

- Right, okay.

play01:18

- I needed to take care of my mom.

play01:21

There was no hobby.

play01:22

There was no anything else except taking care of my mom.

play01:25

That becomes my sole focus.

play01:27

- Right.

play01:28

- And that gave me a lot clarity in life.

play01:31

Because I put that ahead of anything else.

play01:35

So maybe sometimes I notice, I don't know enough

play01:39

about your family, right?

play01:40

- Yeah.

play01:41

(laughs)

play01:41

- Sometimes comfort may not be such a good thing.

play01:45

- That's the thing because I've been so, I know,

play01:47

I'm very lucky because I'm from Malaysia, right?

play01:49

You know, I was lucky enough to come over here and start

play01:51

to study and the whole thing that like, you know, my dad

play01:54

always telling me like what he had to go through

play01:55

to put me here.

play01:57

It's kind of making me like, oh, instead of feeling

play02:00

like okay, I need to give back but it's more like,

play02:03

wow, it's too comfortable.

play02:04

- Yeah.

play02:05

- And I, yeah.

play02:06

- Usually because I noticed when people don't figure

play02:08

what they want to do usually because they haven't

play02:10

experienced enough pain.

play02:12

- Wow.

play02:13

- Life is good, it's comfortable.

play02:15

- I don't think like there's like physical pain, you know?

play02:17

- But the pain

play02:18

- Yeah, right.

play02:19

- So when you experience pain, you will know life

play02:22

is precious, then you won't ___ around.

play02:25

- Yeah, okay fair enough.

play02:26

- When I say precious meaning, when my dad passed away,

play02:32

when they got divorced, when I was in debt, all these things

play02:38

at a young age it tells me you know, I don't, sometimes

play02:41

you don't know what you want.

play02:42

It's very good to figure out what you don't want.

play02:44

- Right.

play02:45

- What I know I don't want is, I don't want to struggle.

play02:48

I want to be able to care for the people I love.

play02:51

So that gave me a lot of clarity

play02:52

- Oh yeah, so I actually just put myself in debt.

play02:54

So like I know what that is?

play02:55

- No, not necessary.

play02:57

But then when you are, so example your mom and dad together.

play03:01

- Yeah, they're fine.

play03:02

- They're good, right?

play03:04

- They're Good.

play03:04

- Now just paint a picture in your mind,

play03:07

it's gonna be dark, but I mean.

play03:08

- Okay.

play03:09

(laughs)

play03:10

- Suddenly your dad can't support you anymore.

play03:14

- Yup, I'd be sent back home.

play03:16

And then your mom is sick.

play03:18

She's in hospital but your dad can't support you anymore

play03:22

because your mom is sick.

play03:24

She, and he can he can't even provide

play03:25

the best health care for you mom.

play03:27

- Yeah.

play03:29

- What would you do?

play03:32

- I think do what I'm already doing now, but just develop

play03:35

it further than already, yeah, okay I see what you mean

play03:37

- And would you still kind of,

play03:39

"Well I'm not so sure about what I like."

play03:41

Or would you say, "I don't give a shit."

play03:43

- Just doing what's already working

play03:44

and just grow from there.

play03:47

- Have you seen that it's given you more clarity

play03:49

if you think of it that way

play03:50

But think of that, it has not happened.

play03:52

- Right.

play03:53

- It's okay, that's just a scenario.

play03:54

- Thank God.

play03:55

- But, what if it happens?

play03:57

Nothing pains a son more when your family needs help,

play04:00

desperate needs help, you cannot help them.

play04:03

- Right.

play04:05

- There's nothing with pain, you will remember

play04:07

that for the rest of your life.

play04:10

And if your mother passed away, because as a lack

play04:13

of ambition early on in your part, because as son,

play04:16

you didn't develop the ability, you fucked around.

play04:21

You will not forgive yourself.

play04:22

- Yeah.

play04:23

- And you will look at things very differently from now on.

play04:27

And you will become a extraordinary person.

play04:31

Think about that.

play04:32

- Okay, thanks.

play04:34

(laughs)

play04:36

See you later.

play04:42

Oh, we say, I need that film, I to like re play that 24/7

play04:46

Did you film that?

play04:47

- Yes.

play04:48

- Thank you, thank you.

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Related Tags
Life GoalsPersonal GrowthAmbitionPainMotivationCareer AdviceHobbiesPassionMalaysiaFreelancing