“Turn Around” by Zifang “Sherrie” Su, 2018 World Championship of Public Speaking® 2nd Place Winner

Toastmasters International
22 Oct 201807:32

Summary

TLDRSherrie Su shares her journey of overcoming fear through personal anecdotes and the power of communication. From witnessing her parents' tumultuous relationship to facing her own fears in relationships and public speaking, Sherrie's story highlights the transformative impact of confronting, rather than avoiding, what scares us. Her Toastmasters experience, where she met her future husband, illustrates how embracing challenges can lead to personal growth and happiness.

Takeaways

  • 🌟 'Turn Around' is a speech by Sherrie Su that uses the metaphor of a stage to represent life's challenges and the importance of facing fears.
  • 😨 Sherrie's childhood was marked by fear due to her parents' constant fighting, which led her to avoid confrontation by turning away.
  • 🏠 The pivotal moment when Sherrie was forced to choose between her parents at the age of seven was a significant source of her fear and avoidance.
  • 💔 Sherrie's fear of relationships was rooted in her parents' tumultuous marriage, which lasted for 15 years and deeply affected her.
  • 🏙️ After college, Sherrie's move to a big city was an attempt to escape her past, but she found loneliness there, which was even scarier than her fears.
  • 🗣️ Sherrie's friend Lily introduced her to Toastmasters, a public speaking club, which initially seemed as daunting as her other fears.
  • 👦 Meeting Jim at Toastmasters was a turning point; despite initial fears, Sherrie found him to be endearing and supportive.
  • 🔄 The internal struggle Sherrie faced with Jim, fearing the potential for a repeat of her parents' relationship, was a significant hurdle for her.
  • 💑 Jim's persistence and understanding helped Sherrie to face her fears, leading to a successful relationship and marriage.
  • 💬 Sherrie's experience with Toastmasters not only improved her communication skills but also played a crucial role in overcoming her fears and personal growth.
  • 🌈 The speech concludes with a call to action, encouraging the audience to face their fears and turn around to embrace the potential for beauty and growth.

Q & A

  • What is the central theme of Sherrie Su's speech?

    -The central theme of Sherrie Su's speech is overcoming fear by turning around to face it, rather than turning one's back on it.

  • Why did Sherrie feel scared as a child during dinner?

    -Sherrie felt scared as a child because her parents were having a heated argument, which escalated to the point where her mother knocked over the bowls and plates, causing red tomato sauce to splash on the wall.

  • What difficult choice did Sherrie's mother present to her?

    -Sherrie's mother presented her with the difficult choice of deciding whether to live with her mother or her father after she decided to leave.

  • How did Sherrie's childhood experiences with her parents' fighting affect her adult life?

    -Sherrie's childhood experiences with her parents' fighting led her to fear relationships and people, causing her to turn her back on them, which in turn led to feelings of loneliness and misery.

  • What role did Toastmasters play in Sherrie's life?

    -Toastmasters played a significant role in Sherrie's life by providing her with a supportive community and a platform to improve her communication skills, which helped her face her fears.

  • Who is Jim in the context of Sherrie's story?

    -Jim is a member of Toastmasters who approached Sherrie and eventually became her support system, helping her to face her fears and leading to their marriage.

  • What advice did Jim give Sherrie regarding her fear of relationships?

    -Jim advised Sherrie that what scares her now might bring her the most beautiful thing and encouraged her to give it a chance by turning around and facing her fears.

  • How did Sherrie's perspective on her parents change after marrying Jim?

    -After marrying Jim, Sherrie's perspective on her parents changed as she and Jim became their marriage consultants, indicating a shift from fear to a position of support and guidance.

  • What is the significance of the tomato sauce on the wall in Sherrie's story?

    -The tomato sauce on the wall symbolizes the chaos and fear in Sherrie's childhood home, and her father's question about cleaning it represents the burden of dealing with the aftermath of her parents' conflict.

  • What does Sherrie mean when she asks the audience if they are turning their back on their fear?

    -Sherrie is encouraging the audience to confront their fears instead of avoiding them, drawing a parallel to her own experiences and the theme of her speech.

Outlines

00:00

🏠 Childhood Trauma and Turning Away

Sherrie Su shares a poignant childhood memory where she witnessed her parents' violent argument, leading to her mother's departure and a forced decision between her parents. This traumatic event instilled a deep fear in her, causing her to run away from her problems. The narrative illustrates the impact of such experiences on her life, as she grew up in a home that turned into a battlefield, and how she later escaped to live alone in a big city.

05:03

❤️ Overcoming Fear and Embracing Love

In the second paragraph, Sherrie recounts her initial apprehension towards relationships due to her past, which led her to push away Jim, a warm-hearted man she met at Toastmasters. However, with Jim's patient guidance and encouragement, she learns to face her fears and turns around to embrace a relationship with him. The story culminates in their marriage and Sherrie's transformation into a confident individual who not only overcomes her fears but also helps her own parents with their marital issues.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Turn Around

The phrase 'Turn Around' is a central theme in the video, symbolizing the act of facing one's fears and challenges rather than running away from them. It is used metaphorically to describe the speaker's journey from avoiding difficult situations to confronting them head-on. For instance, when Sherrie Su was faced with the decision of choosing between her parents during their conflict, she initially 'turned her back' by running to her room, but later in life, she learns to 'turn around' and face her fears, leading to personal growth and a successful relationship.

💡Fear

Fear is a recurring concept in the script, representing the emotional response to perceived threats or challenges. It is depicted as something that can paralyze individuals, as seen when Sherrie Su was asked to choose between her parents, leading her to run away. However, the video also shows that fear can be overcome, and doing so can lead to positive outcomes, such as Sherrie's eventual decision to face her fear of relationships and marry Jim.

💡Battlefield

The term 'battlefield' is used metaphorically to describe the home environment Sherrie Su experienced during her childhood, where her parents' conflicts turned the home into a place of strife and fear. This metaphor highlights the impact of a chaotic and fearful environment on a child's psyche and the long-term effects it can have on their approach to relationships and life.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is a key concept in the narrative, illustrating the isolation Sherrie Su felt after escaping her tumultuous home life and moving to a big city. It is contrasted with the fear of relationships, suggesting that while being alone can be comforting, it can also lead to a sense of emptiness and fear. The script shows that facing this fear and building connections, as Sherrie did through Toastmasters, can be a path to overcoming loneliness.

💡Toastmasters

Toastmasters is mentioned as an organization that plays a pivotal role in Sherrie Su's personal development. It is depicted as a platform for improving communication skills and building confidence, which are essential in overcoming fear and building relationships. Sherrie's initial fear of Toastmasters, symbolized by the 'scary place' with people clapping for no reason, is overcome as she realizes its potential for personal growth.

💡Relationships

Relationships are a central theme in the video, representing both a source of fear and a potential for happiness. Sherrie Su's childhood experiences with her parents' conflict make her wary of relationships, fearing the pain they can cause. However, through her interactions with Jim and her involvement with Toastmasters, she learns that healthy relationships can be a source of support and joy, ultimately leading to her marriage to Jim.

💡Competent Communicators

The term 'Competent Communicators' is used to describe the members of Toastmasters, emphasizing their ability to communicate effectively. This concept is important in the video as it highlights the power of communication in resolving conflicts and building understanding. Sherrie Su's growth as a communicator allows her to face her fears and build a successful relationship with Jim, showcasing the transformative power of communication.

💡Shadow

The 'shadow' in the script is a metaphor for the dark, lonely aspects of Sherrie Su's life that she tries to escape by avoiding relationships. It symbolizes the negative consequences of running away from fear, as the 'shadow' scares her more than facing her fears. The concept illustrates that confronting one's fears can lead to a brighter and more fulfilling life.

💡Marriage Consultants

Becoming 'Marriage Consultants' for her parents is a significant turning point in the script, indicating Sherrie Su's transformation from a victim of her parents' conflict to a guide for their reconciliation. This role reversal demonstrates her personal growth and the positive impact of her experiences with Toastmasters and her relationship with Jim on her ability to help others navigate their relationships.

💡Beautiful Smiley Faces

The phrase 'beautiful smiley faces' is used by Sherrie Su to refer to the audience's reactions, highlighting the importance of positive engagement and support in overcoming fear. It serves as a reminder that the fear of judgment or rejection can be a powerful deterrent, but the potential for positive connections makes facing that fear worthwhile.

💡Stage

The 'stage' is a metaphor for life in the script, representing the various scenarios and challenges one faces. It is described as both bright and scary, reflecting the dual nature of life's experiences. Sherrie Su's fear of being on stage mirrors her fear of facing her challenges, but as she learns to 'turn around,' she is able to confront her fears and perform, symbolizing her growth and resilience.

Highlights

Life is compared to a stage that can be bright but also scary.

The difficulty of facing fear head-on rather than turning away from it.

A childhood memory of parental conflict and being asked to choose a parent.

The emotional turmoil of witnessing domestic violence at a young age.

The impact of a chaotic home life on a child's sense of safety and belonging.

The speaker's escape to a big city after college as a means to flee from a troubled home.

The fear of relationships due to the speaker's past experiences.

The introduction to Toastmasters as a potential way to overcome fear.

An initial encounter with Jim at Toastmasters that sparks fear and hope.

The internal struggle with the fear of repeating parental mistakes in relationships.

Jim's encouragement to face fears and the possibility of a beautiful outcome.

The transformative moment when Jim physically turns the speaker around to face her fears.

The realization that facing fear can lead to positive changes and growth.

The unexpected outcome of marrying Jim and the humorous side of their relationship.

The speaker's new role as a marriage consultant to her own parents.

The importance of not turning one's back on fear but instead facing it.

The final message that current fears may lead to the most beautiful experiences.

Transcripts

play00:01

Sherrie Su.

play00:03

“Turn Around.”

play00:06

“Turn Around.”

play00:09

Sherrie Su.

play00:12

Our life is like this stage.

play00:26

It is bright, but sometimes it's scary.

play00:34

It's easy to turn your back on your fear, but it's hard to turn around.

play00:45

Contest chair, my friends—if you cannot see me on this stage, please just focus on

play00:51

the screens.

play00:53

I'm a little scared right now.

play00:58

Have you ever turned your back on someone or something because you are scared?

play01:07

When I was seven, I was only afraid of two people—my mom and dad.

play01:14

One night, we were having noodles for dinner.

play01:16

I could feel the soft light in the dining room, smell the tomato sauce, and hear my

play01:25

mom's voice, “Sherrie, put all the top sticks on the table.”

play01:29

“Yes,” and “Yum!

play01:31

Mom, dad—let’s eat!”

play01:32

I was eating, my parents were talking, but suddenly, “What's wrong with you?”

play01:40

My mom stood up.

play01:43

My dad's eyes grew wide.

play01:44

“Don't do this in front the kid.”

play01:46

I heard some bad words I didn't know the meaning of and some bad words I wish I didn't know

play01:57

the meaning of.

play02:01

All of a sudden, my mom knocked all the bowls and plates on the floor.

play02:06

Red tomato sauce splashed all over the wall.

play02:10

“Mom, dad, stop fighting, please.

play02:20

I’m scared.”

play02:24

My mom looked at me.

play02:26

“Sherrie, I'm leaving.

play02:28

Who do you want to live with—mom or dad?

play02:38

Pick one.”

play02:42

Can you imagine how I felt?

play02:50

Pick one?

play02:54

I turned around and ran to my room.

play02:57

I heard my mom slam the door and left.

play03:06

My dad came into my room and sat next to me.

play03:10

“Baby, I know it's hard, but I have to ask you a serious question.

play03:25

Do you know how to clean off the tomato sauce on the wall?”

play03:30

Two months later, my mom came back!

play03:38

A home, sweet, home became a battlefield again.

play03:43

And that war continued for 15 years.

play03:51

After college, I escaped to live in a big city alone.

play03:58

People and relationships—they're scary, but when I turn my back on them, my dark lonely,

play04:05

shadow scared me even more.

play04:08

I was miserable and my only friend, Lily, told me, “Sherrie, come with me to Toastmasters.”

play04:20

So I went to Toastmasters.

play04:22

Such a scary place!

play04:27

So many people clap their hands for no reason!

play04:36

A guy named Jim approached me.

play04:39

His little eyes were sparkling.

play04:44

“Sherrie, if you want to know more about Toastmasters, you and I can have dinner together.”

play04:58

Is he asking me out?

play04:59

it's like a movie!

play05:03

A horror movie!

play05:08

But the more I got to know about Jim, the more I thought he's cute, funny, and warm-hearted.

play05:18

But then I heard a little voice.

play05:19

“You can handle relationship!

play05:21

You're gunna hurt him and yourself!”

play05:24

I turn my back on Jim.

play05:25

“Let's just be friends!”

play05:27

“Sherrie, why?”

play05:29

“I don't want to ask my child one day, ‘Mom or dad—pick one.’”

play05:39

“Sherrie, we are not your parents.

play05:42

We are competent communicators.

play05:54

What scares you now may bring you the most beautiful thing.

play05:57

Give it a chance and turn around.

play06:01

Jim held my arms and turn me around.

play06:05

I look at him in the eye.

play06:07

Wow!

play06:08

It's not that scary anymore.

play06:11

Jim turn my world around and now we are happily married!

play06:19

Do you know what it's like to marry a Toastmaster?

play06:27

All of our conversations are five-to-seven minutes long.

play06:32

I'm not, I'm not even afraid of my parents anymore.

play06:39

Jim and I became their marriage consultants.

play06:45

I am scared now, but I wouldn't want to miss all your beautiful smiley faces.

play06:54

Are you turning your back on your fear?

play07:02

Our life is like this stage, but what scares are now may bring you the most beautiful thing.

play07:08

Give it a chance and just…

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Related Tags
Personal GrowthFear ConquestPublic SpeakingFamily DynamicsRelationshipsSelf-DiscoveryToastmastersCourageInspirational