3 Habits That (Actually) Changed My Life

Summary

The speaker shares transformative habits that improved their life and conversations. They emphasize building input-output loops for continuous learning and growth, refining ideas through practice and discussion, and engaging in self-improving conversations with smarter individuals. Additionally, they highlight the benefits of starting the day with sunlight and delaying caffeine intake for mental clarity, sharing personal experiences and strategies that led to increased productivity and personal satisfaction.

Takeaways

• 🔄 Build input-output loops to create a continuous learning cycle and gain unique insights.
• 🌞 Start mornings with sunlight and delay caffeine intake for a clearer head.
• 📚 Engage in conversations with books to discover and refine your interests.
• 🤝 Find or create groups with like-minded individuals to discuss and share ideas.
• 📈 Continuously refine your ideas and presentations based on feedback and reactions.
• 📝 Write and create content as an outlet to solidify your learning and gain more input.
• 🧠 Have 'selfish' conversations with smarter individuals to learn and improve your knowledge base.
• 📖 Use books as a medium to engage in deep conversations with authors and expand your thinking.
• 🌐 Connect with people in different fields to learn from their experiences and frameworks.
• 🎥 Run your own courses or workshops to teach others and reinforce your own understanding.
• 🌟 Build a reputation for having unique insights to gain a competitive advantage in your field.

Q & A

What was the speaker's realization about their work before they decided to change their habits?

The speaker realized they were not building any specific skills or making unique contributions, and their work was not accumulating into anything substantial, leading to a feeling of wasting time.

What is the first habit the speaker decided to implement to improve their life?

The first habit was to build input-output loops, which means having a continuous cycle of learning (input) and applying that knowledge (output), then seeking more input to improve the output.

How did the speaker apply the input-output loop in their job at YouTube?

The speaker applied the loop by learning about YouTube algorithm changes (input), running workshops for YouTube channels (output), and then seeking more input from the YouTubers to refine their knowledge and contributions.

What was the second habit the speaker adopted to improve their conversations?

The second habit was refining their ideas and the way they communicated them, similar to how a comedian refines a joke based on audience reactions.

How did the speaker find a group of people who shared their interests?

The speaker joined a writing course, which led them to meet people who were interested in similar topics, such as philosophy and frameworks from books.

What is the third habit the speaker recommends for better conversations and personal growth?

The third habit is having conversations with people who are smarter or more knowledgeable than oneself, starting with books and then extending to real-life interactions.

How did the speaker's approach to reading books help them in their conversations?

The speaker engaged in a deep reading experience by asking questions in the margins of the books, which helped them curate their content diet and find direction in their learning, leading to more meaningful discussions.

What is the additional habit the speaker picked up that contributed to their productivity and energy in the morning?

The speaker started their morning with sunlight and avoided caffeine for the first hour after waking up, which they found gave them a clearer head and more energy.

How did the speaker's childhood friend's behavior lead to a realization about their conversations?

The friend's lack of interest and cutting off the speaker during a conversation about a favorite book made the speaker realize they needed to change the quality of their conversations and find better ways to connect with others.

What is the 'Cafe Da Vinci' that the speaker started?

The 'Cafe Da Vinci' is a gathering that the speaker started with a friend, focused on thinking at the intersection and doing associative thinking, providing a space for discussions on shared interests.

Outlines

00:00

🌀 Building Input-Output Loops for Growth

The speaker discusses the realization that they were not building specific skills or making unique contributions, leading to a decision to change their approach. They adopted the habit of creating input-output loops, where they would learn something (input), apply it (output), and then seek more input to improve the output. This spiraling approach allowed them to accumulate knowledge and develop a competitive advantage. The example given is from their time at YouTube, where they learned about algorithm changes, shared this knowledge with YouTubers, and then used their insights to further engage with the Google search team and other YouTubers, building a reputation for unique insights.

05:02

🗣️ Improving Conversational Skills

The speaker shares three strategies for enhancing the quality of conversations: finding like-minded people, refining ideas through practice, and engaging in conversations with those who are intellectually stimulating. They joined a writing course to meet people with similar interests, started their own courses to gather a group of thinkers, and initiated the Cafe Da Vinci to foster associative thinking. They also emphasize the importance of refining ideas by trying different ways to express them, as demonstrated by their experience with a friend who initially showed disinterest. Lastly, they advocate for having 'selfish' conversations by reading books and engaging with their authors, which helps in curating one's content diet and developing a deeper understanding of various subjects.

10:02

☕️ Morning Rituals and Caffeine Habits

The speaker introduces a habit of not consuming caffeine for the first hour after waking up, which they discovered by chance due to a move. They found this practice, combined with morning sunlight and yoga, to be highly beneficial for starting the day feeling productive and energized. They also mention a video on tackling to-do lists and invite viewers to subscribe for more content, highlighting the mutual benefit of their work and the viewer's support.

Keywords

💡Input Output Loops

A concept where the knowledge or information one acquires (input) is directly used to create something (output), which in turn generates more input. In the video, the speaker uses this loop to continuously learn and contribute unique insights in their work at YouTube, leading to a competitive advantage and personal growth.

💡Information Asymmetry

A situation where one party has more or better information than the other, giving them an advantage. In the context of the video, the speaker builds this advantage by consistently learning and sharing unique insights, setting them apart from peers who do not engage in such loops.

💡Caffe Da Vinci

A concept or practice initiated by the speaker to foster discussions and thinking at the intersection of various ideas. It's a platform for like-minded individuals to share and refine their thoughts, similar to the historical figure Leonardo da Vinci's approach to learning.

💡Refining Ideas

The process of improving the way one communicates or presents an idea based on feedback and practice. This involves adjusting the delivery to ensure the message is effectively understood and resonates with the audience.

💡Conversations with Books

A metaphorical way of engaging with the ideas and knowledge presented in books, as if having a conversation with the author. This helps in curating one's interests and information diet, leading to personal growth and discovery.

💡Associative Thinking

A cognitive process that involves making connections between seemingly unrelated ideas or concepts. It's a creative thinking technique that can lead to innovative solutions and insights.

💡Caffeine

A natural stimulant found in coffee, tea, and other beverages. In the video, the speaker suggests avoiding caffeine for the first hour after waking up to start the day with a clearer mind, which is a habit they picked up and found beneficial.

💡Tod List

A list of tasks or duties to be completed, often used for personal or professional organization and productivity. The speaker mentions having a video on how they tackle their to-do list, implying a methodical approach to managing tasks.

💡Gentle Ladies Agreement

A playful term used by the speaker to encourage viewers to subscribe to their channel. It implies a mutual, non-binding commitment where the speaker does the work of creating content, and the viewer supports by subscribing.

💡Personal Satisfaction

A state of contentment or happiness derived from personal achievements or experiences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of having better conversations not just for social interactions, but also for enhancing one's own sense of fulfillment and learning.

Highlights

The speaker decided to change their approach to work and personal growth after feeling drained and directionless.

Realized the importance of building specific skills and making unique contributions rather than just completing tasks.

Introduced the concept of 'input-output loops' to enhance learning and skill development.

Example of an input-output loop: Learning about YouTube algorithm changes and then applying that knowledge in workshops.

The speaker sought additional input after workshops by talking to YouTubers and gaining unique insights.

Mentioned the competitive advantage of having information asymmetry in the information world.

The speaker started a YouTube channel to experiment and share knowledge, further building their reputation.

Emphasized the importance of finding a group of people who share similar interests for meaningful conversations.

Started running their own courses to gather like-minded individuals and discuss frameworks and ideas from books.

Founded 'Cafe Da Vinci' to facilitate associative thinking and discussions on various topics.

The speaker refined their ideas and conversation skills by practicing and tweaking them over time.

Engaged in conversations with books and their authors to curate a content diet and discover personal interests.

Recommended having conversations with people who are smarter and more knowledgeable in various fields.

Suggested not having caffeine for the first hour after waking up for a clearer mind.

Incorporated a morning routine of sunlight and yoga, which improved productivity and energy levels.

The speaker shares their personal experiences and strategies for improving the quality of life and conversations.

Transcripts

I wasn't building any specific skills I

was just kind of building little sand

castles everywhere that crumbled after

the project ended so I decided I need to

change this 3 years ago I felt drained I

felt like I was wasting time doing all

of this work but it wasn't building up

to anything and the closest people were

drifting from me because we weren't

really interested in the same things

anymore and it was hard to be who I am

around them so entered Co where

everything was put to a pause and I

tried a bunch of habits and three of

them changed all three of the problems

they were really easy to implement and

effortless to apply now that I've been

doing for three plus years so I wanted

to share with you the three habits that

really changed my life the first one is

build input output Loops what I realized

early on in my career was I was a good

employee people would give me things to

do and I did as I was told I think I did

them pretty well but you know at the end

of the year I don't have any

groundbreaking Insight I didn't have any

unique contributions that other people

couldn't do I wasn't building any

specific skills I was just kind of

building little sand castles everywhere

that crumbled after the project ended so

I decided I need to change this I'm

going to build a loop an input output

Loop so what that means is I have my

inputs and that feeds directly into an

output that I do but with the output I

am going to seek more input and that's

going to the next output so everything

links together and I'm spiraling up and

learning and building up on something

for example when I was working at

YouTube part of the job was to learn the

latest YouTube algorithm changes and

then you run workshops or meetings with

big YouTube channels so you know you can

help them grow and most people stop

there right input is the training and

the output is the workshop that you run

so you know easy you finish and you do

something else but of course I was

building my Loop so I'm not going to end

there what I would do is okay I learned

the material I run the workshop and at

the workshop I want to gain more input

so I talk to the big YouTubers find out

how they hack the algorithm they think

about this 24/7 so a lot of them had

really unique insights that were not

covered on the YouTube training material

so for example one of the YouTubers said

oh since YouTube introduced chapters

what I would do is make my chapter

titles SEO optimized so actually I get

more traffic from Google search so

whenever you know you search on Google

for a question they will give you

YouTube video suggestion so her videos

started to show up there and I thought

fascinating not at all covered by the

YouTube training material and so I would

take that and I reach out to the Google

search team you ask them oh you know

when how do you think about surfacing

YouTube channels and they would tell me

even a bit more based and I could reply

and I could discuss because I had some

information from the YouTubers based on

what I've learned there then I could do

more outputs when I'm talking to other

YouTubers now I can say you know there's

an interesting hack that you can do or I

can whenever I'm doing cross functional

meetings there's unique insights that I

can provide and no one else knows about

and of course as an output I run my own

YouTube channel so I experiment with my

own Channel all of this is building on

top of each other over time you build

reputation for yourself that you have

information asymmetry this is a huge

competitive advantage in our information

World they know that when I come to

Vicki she has some unique insights that

somehow other people don't have and that

is building the input output Loop and

even if you say okay I work I can't

really do that you know it sounds too

complicated you can do that with the

content that you consume we all consume

a lot of content so I decided Well if

I'm I have this much input I need some

sort of Outlet I need some sort of

output to actually cement in what I'm

learning so I'm writing creating YouTube

videos and just that process itself is

you're doing more than 99% of the people

and once you do that right you leave

comments I talk to my writer friends you

know they talk about this I get random

inbound emails saying oh I saw this

article you did is exactly what I'm

doing with my business can we discuss

this so I get so much more input just by

putting something out and based on those

discussions then I can improve my videos

I think of new ways to do my videos new

topics so it really is a virtuous cycle

and this virtu cycle gets me ahead of

most of my peers who are still building

sand

castles this came about when I realized

one of my closest childhood friends kept

on cutting me off in our conversation I

remember this one instance which made me

realize I need to change I was telling

her about my favorite book how PR can

change your life it's so witty the

author Alan debaton he had such clear

observations and he put into words what

I was feeling but never had the words

for it's a weird mix of self-help and

literary review of this French author

which I studied when I was in Paris it

was just mind-blowing and I was gushing

about the book and my friend said oh

yeah um so I'm actually thinking of

going to Paris this summer where should

I stay and she completely cut me off she

wasn't listening you know clearly my TED

Talk was of zero interest to her and

that's when I realized even if someone

is a close friend one they won't be

interested in everything that I'm

interested in and two even if they were

they shouldn't be there listening to me

ramble about something so instead of

calling her hey you know she's just a

friend who never listens to me I decided

I needed to change and have better

conversations and there were three

things I did to change the quality of my

life and the quality of my conversations

the first thing was finding a group of

people who cared about the same things

as I do you know I want to talk about

philosophy I want to talk about how the

world works I want to talk about

Frameworks I want to talk about ideas

from books and you know have a

discussion about them and people in real

life a lot of them were interested in

this so I thought okay let me 8020 this

and find the right people so writing is

a proxy for curiosity for me so I joined

a writing course and lo and behold I met

some of my favorite people on the

internet who cared about the same things

as I did and yes it's possible to make

friends as adult when you share similar

interests second you know I started

running my own courses about things I

cared about and you know we gather as a

group who cared about framework thinking

we cared about ideas and three it's so

important to me to have these

conversations I started my own Cafe Da

Vinci Cafe with my friend Fay all about

think at the intersection doing

associative thinking so yeah if you feel

the same you can find our Link in the

description and join one of the cafes

the second thing to do is refine your

idea and realize that just like a

comedian when they tell a joke they tell

it once and they tweak how they tell the

joke based on how people react it and

you tweak it over time even on stage you

tweak it over time so that you find the

best way to tell the joke in a way that

people get it they're laughing they're

having a good time and you are evoking

that emotion that you want in them so

same with us if I say something it

doesn't land the first time well I have

more opportunities to talk about it and

tweak it I use Da Vinci cafes to do that

I use my writing to do that just to how

can I best describe this idea when I was

telling my friend who cut me off I was

telling her there's this idea in there

about cliches the problem with cliches

is not that they are bad ideas but is

they are superficial articulations of

really good ideas and when I said it

like that she was like oh yeah okay like

and then what you know so it didn't land

and I realized I tried different

versions I tried you know maybe telling

my own story when I'm writing blah blah

blah not interesting but when I said hey

you know what can we do a test of

whether you see the world in 2D or 3D

immediately hooked right and I say okay

if you see a sunset how would you

describe it and she was like uh it's um

on fire or yeah I guess you know it

looks like it's on fire ah it's a cliche

right and then I go into the details of

you know what it's good that it's a

cliche but you are borrowing how other

people are seeing the world but when you

actually notice the sunset and really

look at it you'll see that it's not just

on fire there's so much more going on

and so we had this huge discussion about

sunsets we actually went to see one and

then she was like oh holy crap like this

is deep can I borrow that book you know

so this is really what I'm talking about

refining those ideas giving yourself

that permission to talk about ideas in

different ways and don't get discouraged

really improve the quality of the

conversations I was having the third

thing I do to improve the quality of my

conversations is to have more selfish

conversations with people who are way

smarter than me and I start with books

right I don't have philosophers deep

thinkers you know business people all

around me but no problem they've all

written books so I start with the books

and you know engage in a conversation

with them through the book I ask them

questions in the margins right I think

about oh yeah this this is a really good

point I realized that this happened in

my life and I start to have a deep rich

reading experience and sometimes the

questions you ask will be answered by

the book sometimes the questions won't

be answered in which case then you are

able to know okay based on this question

I have which books should I read next

this way you're curating your content

diet right not just okay here's social

media let me flip through whatever's

there but you have a direction towards

what you want to read what you want to

find out what you care about some people

feel like you know I don't even know

what I I'm interested in I have no

purpose in life start having

conversations with books and you'll

start to see your interests and you'll

naturally curate your information diet

once you do that you really go to the

shoari process I talked about it in

video in this video here in detail but

basically you know first you learn from

the master and then you start to break

the mold of the master and then you

start to create your own thing it really

is a powerful method to have

conversations with those who are really

smart and then you can bring it into

your real life once you feel more

comfortable you know that you ask good

questions you're building up this base

of knowledge based on what you're

reading sometimes like cold email and I

go on LinkedIn and try to connect with

people who I don't even know sometimes I

just talk to people around me right lots

of people are ahead in their careers

lots of people are in different fields

right I asked them you know what are the

Frameworks that you have distilled what

are the interesting learnings and I'm

trying to connect the dots right do that

associative thinking okay let's say in

physics this happens in philosophy

something else happens I see a

connection and I share with them so I

can also give back to the discussion

this is definitely something I will

continue to do more of in 2024 for sure

because you know sometimes I am shy and

I get scared like oh what if I can't

even say anything intelligent but you

know the point is not to prove that I am

intelligent the point is to learn from

them so that's something I'm going to

continue practicing the power of having

better conversations it doesn't just

enrich social interactions but it really

enriches your personal satisfaction and

learning as well two birds with one

stone I love stuff like that the third

habit I'm definitely keeping is not

having caffeine the first hour from when

you wake wake up apparently Andrew

huberman also recommended this as well

is for the first hour you know start

your morning with sunlight and don't

drink caffeine until an hour later it

will give you a clearer head and I can a

th% vouch for that I did this by

accident because we moved and I didn't

have this beautiful espresso machine

with my ritual of spending 10 minutes to

get the coffee ready and then you having

two sips and it's gone and combine it

with yoga that I do every morning so I

guess that's a bonus habit that I also

picked up and will continue to do I felt

so on on top of things I felt so

productive in my morning so healthy in

my morning I was energized to get my Tod

list started and of course if you want

to see how I tackle my to-do list here's

a video on that and if you watched all

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