Decoding Mother-Infant Interaction: A Story of One Mother and Infant

Dr. Beatrice Beebe
23 Nov 202126:00

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful video, Dr. Beatrice Beebe explores the intricate world of mother-infant communication, emphasizing the importance of non-verbal cues and the bi-directional nature of their interactions. Through microanalysis, she reveals the subtle, real-time exchanges between mothers and babies, highlighting how each influences the other's behavior. The video showcases educational viewings, where mothers observe split-screen footage of their interactions with their babies, leading to a deeper understanding of their child's responses and their own communication styles. This method not only fosters a stronger parent-child bond but also empowers parents with the knowledge to adapt their interactions for a more harmonious relationship.

Takeaways

  • 🗣️ Human face-to-face communication is fast and intricate, with babies already proficient at it by four months of age.
  • 👶 Babies are active participants in communication, not just passive receivers of the parent's cues.
  • 🔬 Beatrice Beebe's research lab at Columbia University focuses on non-verbal, face-to-face communication between mothers and infants.
  • 📹 Microanalysis is a method used to study the subtle and fast interactions in mother-infant communication, revealing an 'underwater underworld' of interactions.
  • 🔄 The research shows that the communication process is bi-directional, with each person affecting the other's behavior moment by moment.
  • 🎥 The educational viewing method involves watching split-screen videos of mother-infant interactions to understand the dynamics of their communication.
  • 🤔 Stranger-infant interactions can reveal a broader range of the baby's communicative abilities compared to interactions with familiar caregivers.
  • 👩‍👦 The mother's emotional state and expectations can influence her interactions with the baby, sometimes leading to mismatches in communication.
  • 👀 Babies use subtle cues like head shifts, hand gestures, and mouth movements to communicate with their parents.
  • 🤝 Parental understanding of their baby's communication can be enhanced through the educational viewing of interaction videos.
  • 🧠 The process of watching and discussing these videos can lead to insights and adjustments in parenting strategies, promoting a healthier interaction dynamic.

Q & A

  • What is the main focus of Beatrice Beebe's research lab at Columbia?

    -Beatrice Beebe's research lab at Columbia focuses on mother-infant face-to-face communication, specifically studying non-verbal communication and how each participant responds to the other moment by moment.

  • What is the term used to describe the research method that allows for the detailed observation of face-to-face communication?

    -The term used to describe this research method is 'microanalysis,' which is likened to a social microscope that enables the observation of fast and subtle interactions in real time.

  • How does microanalysis help in understanding the interaction between mothers and their babies?

    -Microanalysis helps in understanding the bi-directional nature of the interaction, showing how each person affects the other's behavior and highlighting the baby's role as an important player in the interaction.

  • What is the purpose of the split-screen video during the educational viewing?

    -The split-screen video serves to simultaneously show the mother and the baby, allowing researchers and parents to observe and discuss the interaction, with one camera focused on the mother and the other on the baby.

  • Why is the stranger-infant interaction considered informative in research?

    -The stranger-infant interaction is considered informative because it can reveal a broader range of the baby's capacity and ability to engage, which might not be as apparent in familiar settings.

  • What is the term used to describe a baby's inconsolable crying for extended periods?

    -The term used to describe this condition is 'colic,' which is characterized by hours of inconsolable crying and can be distressing for both the baby and the parents.

  • What is the significance of the mother's realization that she was overreacting to her baby's discomfort?

    -The mother's realization is significant as it shows her understanding of her own anxiety and the need to adjust her reactions to better match her baby's emotional state, leading to a more harmonious interaction.

  • How does the educational viewing help parents in their interactions with their babies?

    -Educational viewing helps parents by providing them with a clearer understanding of their baby's communication cues and their own responses, allowing them to adjust their behavior to better support their baby's needs.

  • What is the importance of the mother's ability to match her baby's emotional state during interaction?

    -The ability to match the baby's emotional state is important as it helps in establishing a connection and understanding, allowing for more effective communication and a stronger parent-infant bond.

  • How does the script illustrate the concept of 'less is more' in parent-infant interaction?

    -The script illustrates 'less is more' by showing how reducing the level of activity and maintaining a calm demeanor can prevent overstimulation and help in maintaining a relaxed and positive interaction between the parent and the baby.

  • What is the key takeaway from the mother's experience with educational viewing and its impact on her parenting approach?

    -The key takeaway is the realization that it's okay not to be perfect and that adjusting one's approach based on the baby's cues and reactions can lead to a more effective and relaxed parenting style.

Outlines

00:00

👶 Infant Communication Mastery

Dr. Beatrice Beebe, a researcher in mother-infant face-to-face communication at Columbia University, discusses the intricacies of non-verbal communication between mothers and babies. Babies as young as four months demonstrate remarkable communication skills, engaging in a complex system of interaction. The study of these interactions is conducted through microanalysis, a method akin to a 'social microscope' that captures the fast and subtle exchanges between mother and child. This research reveals a bi-directional influence, emphasizing the baby's active role in the interaction.

05:00

🎥 The Methodology of Educational Viewing

The script describes the process of educational viewing, a method used to analyze mother-infant interactions. It involves recording split-screen videos of mothers and babies playing without toys, followed by the researcher interacting with the baby to elicit a range of behaviors. This process is insightful as it captures the baby's response to a novel partner. The educational viewing is a collaborative process between the researcher and the mother, examining the video to understand the nuances of their interaction.

10:00

👩‍👦 A Mother's Journey with Colic

The narrative shifts to focus on a mother's experience with her four-month-old baby who had colic. The baby's colic had just subsided, but the mother was still in 'colic mode,' anticipating distress. The video analysis captures moments of mismatched communication where the mother's anticipation of the baby's discomfort does not align with the baby's actual state. This mismatch is attributed to the mother's residual anxiety from the colic period and her struggle to adjust to the baby's improved condition.

15:02

🤔 Emotional Mismatch and Parental Reflection

The script delves into the emotional mismatch between the mother and baby, where the mother's overreactions to the baby's minor discomfort reflect her past distress during the colic period. Through the educational viewing, the mother realizes her overreactivity and learns to calm down, leading to a more harmonious interaction with her baby. The process highlights the importance of parental self-awareness and adaptation to the baby's changing needs.

20:02

👼 Adjusting Parental Responses to Infant Behavior

The mother discusses her realization of being overly anxious and reactive to her baby's cues, especially when he was about to cry. She learns from the video analysis that by stepping back and allowing the baby to self-regulate, she can foster a more relaxed interaction. This insight leads to a change in the family's approach to the baby's needs, promoting a more balanced and less anxious parenting style.

25:08

🤝 The Two-Way Communication Dance

The final paragraph emphasizes the two-way nature of parent-infant communication, illustrating how both parties influence each other. The mother's experience and the video analysis show that while parents aim to comfort and engage their babies, the babies are equally responsive and communicative. The educational viewing serves as a tool for parents to better understand and appreciate the subtle and profound communication occurring in these early interactions.

🎼 Concluding Thoughts

The script concludes with a reflection on the importance of recognizing the baby's responsiveness and the mutual influence in parent-infant communication. It suggests that understanding this dynamic can be beneficial for both parents and infants, fostering a more attuned and harmonious relationship.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Microanalysis

Microanalysis is a research method described as a 'social microscope' in the video. It allows researchers to meticulously examine and understand the rapid and subtle non-verbal exchanges between individuals, particularly in mother-infant communication. The term is used to emphasize the detailed observation of behaviors that occur in fractions of a second, which are crucial in understanding the dynamics of face-to-face interactions. In the context of the video, microanalysis helps to reveal the bi-directional nature of communication where both the mother and the infant influence each other's behavior moment by moment.

💡Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication refers to the conveyance of messages or feelings without the use of words. It includes facial expressions, body language, and gestures. In the video, Beatrice Beebe's research focuses on non-verbal communication between mothers and infants, highlighting how these exchanges are fast, complex, and essential for understanding the depth of their interactions. The video script provides examples of how mothers and infants respond to each other's non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions and hand movements.

💡Bi-directional

Bi-directional communication implies that the flow of information or influence goes both ways between the parties involved. In the video, this term is used to describe the mutual influence between mothers and their infants during face-to-face interactions. The script illustrates how each participant's behavior affects the other, showing that the infant is not a passive recipient but an active contributor to the interaction.

💡Mother-infant interaction

Mother-infant interaction refers to the dynamic and complex communication that occurs between a mother and her infant. The video script delves into this interaction, particularly focusing on the non-verbal aspects. It showcases how these interactions are studied and how they are crucial for the infant's development and attachment. The video provides insights into how mothers and infants respond to each other's cues, emphasizing the importance of these early interactions.

💡Colic

Colic is a condition in infants that is characterized by prolonged and intense crying, often described as inconsolable. In the video, colic is mentioned as a challenging period for both the infant and the parents, causing distress and affecting the parent-infant interaction. The script describes how one of the mothers and her baby had experienced colic, which had a significant impact on their communication and bonding.

💡Educational viewing

Educational viewing, as discussed in the video, is a process where researchers and parents review video recordings of mother-infant interactions to gain a deeper understanding of their communication. This method allows parents to observe and reflect on their interactions with their infants, often leading to insights about their child's behavior and their own parenting strategies. The script describes how this process can be insightful and even liberating for parents as they learn more about their baby's cues and responses.

💡Attachment

Attachment in the context of the video refers to the emotional bond that forms between an infant and their caregiver, typically the mother. A secure attachment is indicative of a healthy relationship where the infant feels safe and comforted by the caregiver. The video script mentions how the study of mother-infant interactions can lead to a better understanding of the development of attachment, as seen in the example of a mother who is very tuned into her baby.

💡Regulation

Regulation in the video refers to the process by which infants manage their emotional and physiological states, especially in response to stimuli. The script describes how infants may look away or turn away when they become over-aroused, as a form of self-regulation. The mother's role in helping the infant regulate is also discussed, with the video showing how she adjusts her behavior to help the infant calm down.

💡Mock surprise

Mock surprise is a specific non-verbal behavior exhibited by the mother in the video, where she makes a facial expression of surprise to engage her baby. This is used as a playful interaction technique to try to elicit a response from the infant. The video script uses this term to illustrate the detailed and nuanced ways in which mothers use non-verbal cues to communicate with and engage their infants.

💡Mutual gaze

Mutual gaze is a significant aspect of mother-infant interaction where both parties maintain eye contact. In the video, mutual gaze is highlighted as a moment of intense connection and communication between mother and infant. The script describes how these moments are important for building bonds and understanding each other's emotional states.

Highlights

Human face-to-face communication is fast and intricate, with babies already proficient at four months.

Dr. Beatrice Beebe leads a lab at Columbia University focusing on mother-infant face-to-face non-verbal communication.

Microanalysis is used as a 'social microscope' to capture the subtleties of communication that occur moment by moment.

The research shows that the interaction between mother and infant is bi-directional, with each influencing the other's behavior.

Babies exhibit a broad range of capacities when interacting with a stranger, which is informative for research.

Educational viewings involve watching split-screen videos of mother and infant interactions to analyze communication patterns.

Mothers often realize their babies notice every little thing through educational viewings.

A mother's overreaction to her baby's discomfort reflects her own distress and anticipation of the baby's distress.

The baby's colic had receded, but the mother was still in 'colic mode', showing the lingering effects on parent-infant interaction.

The mother's realization of her overreaction helped her adjust her behavior to better match the baby's state.

Parents learn to recognize when to step back and allow the baby to re-regulate without overstimulating them.

The filming and analysis process helps parents to reboot their interaction strategies with their babies.

The mother's shift in strategy from being overly anxious to more relaxed improved the interaction with her baby.

Babies are extraordinarily responsive to the subtle movements of their parents, as seen in the 'dance' of communication.

Educational viewings help parents see more of what their babies communicate and how they respond to the parents' communication.

The research emphasizes the importance of mutual regulation and the two-way street of parent-infant communication.

It's okay not to be perfect 100% of the time in parent-infant communication, as the process is dynamic and responsive.

Parents learn to mirror and match their baby's emotional states, adjusting their behavior to better connect with their child.

Transcripts

play00:01

[Music]

play00:16

so human communication is very very

play00:20

fast

play00:21

and complicated

play00:22

human face-to-face communication

play00:25

and babies already are in this system by

play00:28

four months they're already

play00:30

so proficient at it they're such good

play00:33

communicators

play00:34

[Music]

play00:36

i'm beatrice beebe

play00:38

i run a basic research lab in mother

play00:40

infant face-face communication at

play00:42

columbia i study non-verbal

play00:45

communication face-to-face non-verbal

play00:47

communication

play00:49

and i study it in mothers and babies and

play00:51

i study how each one responds to the

play00:54

other moment by moment fraction of

play00:56

second by fraction second

play00:58

and the way we study them we call

play01:00

microanalysis

play01:03

we like to say that microanalysis is a

play01:04

social microscope it allows you to see

play01:07

things that you don't know are there

play01:09

because the face-to-face communication

play01:11

is so fast

play01:12

and subtle and you might not really

play01:14

catch it in real time below real time

play01:17

there's an underwater

play01:19

underworld of interactions that you can

play01:22

capture with microanalysis

play01:27

the research method actually allows you

play01:29

to show that this process is

play01:31

bi-directional each person is affecting

play01:34

the other person's behavior moment by

play01:36

moment

play01:37

and you see that the baby is a very

play01:39

important player

play01:41

in this interaction it's not all driven

play01:44

by the parent

play01:46

[Music]

play01:56

in the educational viewing we

play01:59

first take a split screen

play02:02

video of the mother and the baby playing

play02:04

with the instructions just play with

play02:06

your baby as you would at home with no

play02:08

toys then i play with the baby for a few

play02:10

minutes why do i play because

play02:13

when babies interact with a stranger a

play02:15

novel partner sometimes they show

play02:18

a broader range of capacity a different

play02:20

range

play02:21

different ability to engage

play02:23

so the stranger infant interaction is

play02:25

always informative and in our research

play02:27

we always do stranger and fit

play02:29

interaction and in the educational

play02:30

viewing it's very helpful also

play02:33

and the structure of it is that once

play02:36

we've made those films

play02:38

then the mother and i look at them

play02:39

together

play02:41

so you can see here

play02:43

that the mother and i are talking

play02:46

together

play02:47

and this is what we're talking about

play02:49

right so one camera has me and the

play02:52

mother talking about the film and the

play02:54

other camera has

play02:55

the particular part of the film that

play02:57

we're examining

play02:59

when i do educational

play03:02

viewings with parents

play03:05

parents say things to me like oh my

play03:09

goodness my baby notices every little

play03:11

thing i can't believe it

play03:20

you are going to see

play03:21

a lovely motherinton pair

play03:24

the baby's four months

play03:26

a mother very very tuned into her baby a

play03:29

baby who ends up securely attached this

play03:32

mother was a student in my lab and then

play03:35

she

play03:37

got married she had a baby and

play03:40

i invited her back for

play03:43

an educational viewing of a film of her

play03:46

and her baby when the baby was four

play03:47

months this mother and baby had a really

play03:51

really hard time because the baby had

play03:53

colic

play03:54

when a baby has cog that means the baby

play03:56

is

play03:57

inconsolable

play03:59

baby has hours and hours of inconsolable

play04:02

crying and all parents become frantic

play04:05

because it's so disturbing and the baby

play04:07

is so

play04:09

unhappy colic because some people think

play04:11

is an immature digestive system the

play04:14

good thing about colic is it resolves on

play04:16

its own usually by around three to four

play04:18

months

play04:19

but the bad thing about colic is there's

play04:21

really not much you can do about it when

play04:23

it's happening so this mother and baby

play04:25

had this very very difficult experience

play04:28

we just happened to catch them at such

play04:30

an interesting moment of transition

play04:33

where the baby's

play04:35

colic had just receded and the baby was

play04:38

now calm but the mother was still in

play04:40

colic mode

play04:48

i live in long island so it takes me it

play04:51

took me a little while to get here

play04:53

and we came in when my son was i think

play04:56

three and a half months old and my son

play04:58

was colleague like for the first four

play05:00

months of his life and

play05:02

it was hard it was hard on him and it

play05:04

was harder than me and my husband so i

play05:06

tried to time it just perfectly so he

play05:08

would nap in the car and if you get out

play05:10

of the car you go into the chamber

play05:12

that's how he called it

play05:14

and do the filming well max didn't

play05:16

didn't like the airplane at all so we

play05:18

got there and he was already a little

play05:20

fussy and

play05:22

we did the filming

play05:27

okay

play05:28

we're ready so first we're gonna see the

play05:30

film in real time and then we're gonna

play05:33

see it frame by frame

play05:36

oh now you got to stay in that car's

play05:38

little bed

play05:40

just a little bit

play05:42

just a little bit i know you're you're

play05:44

racist but you've got to stay in this

play05:45

crazy just a little bit here we can take

play05:47

this away

play05:49

hmm

play05:55

[Music]

play06:04

this is

play06:04

hours minutes seconds and 30th so we're

play06:07

gonna go from second seven second eight

play06:10

right

play06:11

so from seven to eight

play06:13

watch the mother do mock surprise

play06:15

mock surprise mock surprise now seven

play06:18

day watch the baby he slightly orients

play06:21

to her his head moves to the left and

play06:23

his left hand moves a little see that so

play06:25

he's slightly oriented he's still

play06:27

looking at her and the mom has the

play06:29

baby's foot in her hand

play06:31

actually both feet in her hands

play06:34

so now

play06:36

eight

play06:37

to nine

play06:38

the mother sort of plays with her face

play06:41

and the baby watches

play06:43

there's a little shift in the baby's

play06:44

mouth on the left and his left hand

play06:46

moves so he's watching her very closely

play06:51

then

play06:52

the baby

play06:54

sort of waves at her

play06:57

acknowledges her in a way

play07:00

then

play07:02

the mother opens back up into her smile

play07:04

nine to ten baby's hand comes down the

play07:07

mother has a big smile

play07:09

and the baby has only an interest face

play07:12

so

play07:13

here we have a just a

play07:15

an ordinary moment

play07:18

where the mother seems to want to bring

play07:20

the baby up

play07:22

from interest into maybe more playful

play07:25

more smiling faces

play07:28

that's second ten

play07:31

so then she flirts with him a little she

play07:34

she moves her head up like that

play07:36

and the baby's hands move

play07:39

but the mouth

play07:41

goes into a kind of

play07:44

compressed lips

play07:46

compressed lips is sort of a little

play07:47

tension

play07:49

like that

play07:50

then

play07:51

mother has a nice smile

play07:54

nice smile but the baby is really only

play07:56

still in an interest face

play08:00

and then the mother smiles some more

play08:02

from 10 to 11

play08:05

and the baby is

play08:06

not smiling more stays in an interest

play08:08

face but doesn't smile more

play08:10

so this is kind of an ordinary type of

play08:12

very slight mismatch you might say where

play08:15

the mother's

play08:17

in a

play08:18

higher range

play08:19

sort of medium positive range

play08:21

and the baby is in interest range

play08:24

and this happens all the time that the

play08:26

parent wants to bring the baby up but

play08:28

this baby's not coming up okay

play08:30

but he's still looking at her still

play08:32

engaged

play08:33

and then

play08:36

the mother's still playing seeing if she

play08:38

can get the baby to play with her and

play08:40

the baby is responding right with the

play08:42

mouth and the and the hand but he's not

play08:44

actually becoming more positive he's

play08:46

staying in the interest range

play08:48

then 13 motherheads go down a little

play08:51

less smile and that's the moment the

play08:52

baby looks away which is also

play08:56

ordinary the babies look away when they

play08:58

come become a little over aroused

play09:01

they re-regulate and they come right

play09:03

back into the engagement as soon as they

play09:04

re-regulate so the baby looks away

play09:07

and then turns away a little more

play09:09

and you watch the mother just slightly

play09:11

monitoring that with her mouth mouth

play09:13

opens a little

play09:15

and then the baby turns a little further

play09:18

away

play09:20

a little further away and now you see

play09:22

the mother going

play09:24

uh-oh

play09:28

oh oh and she breathes in

play09:30

and then the baby goes

play09:32

this is an arch this gentleman means the

play09:34

baby's a little uncomfortable so the

play09:35

baby has a little arch

play09:37

and the mother you see the mother

play09:38

breathe in like she sort of gets it oh

play09:43

and then the baby

play09:46

shows a little more discomfort and you

play09:48

see the mother going ooh

play09:51

so she really

play09:53

here is actually joining

play09:55

[Music]

play09:57

a discomfort that the baby is showing

play10:00

right this little arch thing is a little

play10:02

uncomfortable and she's joining she's

play10:04

joining that little bit of distress with

play10:06

that ooh face

play10:08

and then

play10:09

she closes her eyes a little

play10:12

and then the baby looks at her baby

play10:15

comes back looks at her

play10:16

and they have a moment of mutual gaze

play10:19

and they're both in the interest range

play10:22

then the mother says

play10:27

ooh

play10:28

right and when i asked her what does

play10:30

this face say she says

play10:32

something like

play10:33

you don't like this

play10:35

right

play10:37

ooh you don't like this

play10:39

is this uncomfortable for you

play10:42

and

play10:43

then even more oh you don't like this

play10:46

and the baby is

play10:48

okay

play10:49

right the baby's watching her and the

play10:50

baby's calm

play10:53

so

play10:54

this is also a bit of a mismatch right

play10:56

because

play10:57

she's

play10:58

in a way overreacting to the baby's

play11:01

little bit of discomfort that he showed

play11:04

and she's anticipating that the baby is

play11:06

gonna lose it and go into cog mode

play11:10

and i think that that negative face

play11:14

represents

play11:16

her anticipation of the baby's intense

play11:19

distress

play11:21

and it probably represents

play11:23

how she also felt during those last

play11:25

three months of intense colic how

play11:27

distressed she was

play11:29

and she's here anticipating

play11:32

more stress but the baby's fine

play11:36

so this is the mismatch

play11:39

and then she's sort of coming down off

play11:41

the negative face the baby's watching it

play11:43

but the baby's fine

play11:46

and again the mother still still has a

play11:48

bit of a frown here the baby turns away

play11:50

for a moment

play11:51

and they continue

play11:54

like this with the baby slightly turned

play11:57

away

play11:58

and the mother

play12:00

um

play12:03

feeling

play12:05

a little sad

play12:07

and then they have it they go into

play12:08

another round of

play12:10

the mother showing a distressed face

play12:12

herself kind of anticipating more

play12:14

distress of the baby

play12:18

however when i showed the mother this

play12:21

part of the film she really understood

play12:25

that she was a little overreactive

play12:27

and together we we realized that

play12:30

she could calm down now that the baby

play12:32

was really okay that she could calm down

play12:34

now

play12:36

then you can see five minutes later they

play12:39

actually

play12:40

are in a very different place with each

play12:42

other

play12:43

the baby's looking the mother again does

play12:45

the mock surprise the baby smiles she

play12:48

cusses the feet

play12:50

she gives us the feed the baby has a

play12:51

nice smile the very there the baby looks

play12:54

at her this is actually a beautiful

play12:55

moment where they're both smiling really

play12:57

happy

play12:59

really happy

play13:01

so they have that that is really their

play13:04

basic relationship like this

play13:15

so what's going on there what are you

play13:16

feeling what's he feeling

play13:18

he's coming back and they're like hey

play13:20

i'm greeting him

play13:21

he's coming back and you're greeting him

play13:23

with mock surprise yeah

play13:25

and then let's just see what happens

play13:26

next let's see if we go slow-mo we can

play13:29

see

play13:31

what's happening there

play13:33

it's a beautiful moment isn't it yeah

play13:35

yeah you buzz a little up both up and up

play13:39

what's he feeling

play13:41

he's unsure yeah

play13:43

yeah tend to give him turns away he's

play13:45

unsure yeah

play13:47

he doing there one's out yeah the arch

play13:51

and now

play13:52

what are you feeling

play13:54

stay

play13:59

but there's a little sadness in your

play14:00

face though yeah because he goes out

play14:03

yeah and of course i want him to be in

play14:05

yeah

play14:07

and there he is looking at you but

play14:09

tentative

play14:10

what's this what's in your face what are

play14:12

you feeling there

play14:14

like you don't like this is not for you

play14:18

you don't like this like a quizzical you

play14:20

don't like this

play14:22

and what are you feeling there

play14:24

are you unsure

play14:25

are you essentially representing

play14:28

the negative feeling that you think he

play14:30

has maybe yeah

play14:32

like he doesn't like this and you're

play14:33

right i'm mirroring him a lot yeah

play14:35

you're expressing like this is isn't it

play14:37

isn't good for you it's very good he

play14:39

turns away and what do you feel i'm sad

play14:42

yeah

play14:43

and he's looking at you right there

play14:44

right and so he sees you saying that i

play14:47

see that he is uncomfortable yeah he

play14:49

sees you mirroring his discomfort

play14:52

and there's that face interesting huh

play14:55

you really show a lot of

play14:58

what you imagine his negative feeling is

play15:01

to really are representing that

play15:03

so what do you make of that piece in

play15:05

there i think then we're on

play15:07

yeah

play15:09

yeah and you're really i'm relieved

play15:11

yeah and you're you're talking to him in

play15:13

his language right you're you're um

play15:16

getting all his intonations and really

play15:19

right on his wavelength it's like that

play15:21

was like a really beautiful little

play15:22

stretch there

play15:23

and then yes i was impressed with this

play15:26

piece that when he gets a little fussy

play15:28

in his vocalizations you

play15:30

you stay right on that wavelength

play15:34

see how you match the sigh oh oh that

play15:37

was beautiful in these moments when he's

play15:39

about to lose it

play15:41

what would i do to

play15:44

calm him down again

play15:46

so just as you know what i would try

play15:48

when he turns away i think is um i would

play15:51

wait because of course the turning away

play15:53

is the signal that he's overstimulated

play15:56

and wants less rather than more yeah

play15:58

both of you have to learn to calm down

play16:00

and not take it too seriously when he's

play16:01

hadn't had because he's definitely

play16:03

better yeah yeah that's very true yeah

play16:06

that's very true

play16:10

[Music]

play16:23

hello

play16:25

yeah hello

play16:28

hello

play16:30

oh

play16:41

wow

play16:43

wow

play16:55

[Music]

play16:59

do you want my hand

play17:01

oh

play17:04

you want my hand

play17:09

i want my hand

play17:12

yeah

play17:13

huh

play17:22

yeah

play17:25

yeah

play17:27

yeah

play17:29

oh

play17:43

he looks down i

play17:44

wait he looks back

play17:47

i say hello

play17:54

and i match all those little funny

play17:57

mouth sounds yeah mouth gestures

play18:15

so what do you think

play18:18

what would you say he feels where you

play18:20

say i feel

play18:21

i think

play18:23

the overall tone is more relaxed mm-hmm

play18:29

yeah because i haven't spent

play18:32

you know three months with a cowboy baby

play18:35

i can afford to be relaxed

play18:38

yeah and how's he responding

play18:41

he's calmer yes he's happier yeah he

play18:44

does seem to be responding to

play18:47

what i what i say is less is more

play18:50

i don't move in on him yeah no you don't

play18:53

oh

play19:01

they love mouth movements

play19:08

okay that's when he starts to get fussy

play19:11

and i say

play19:14

can you use my hand

play19:16

do you want

play19:22

it pushes it

play19:26

but holds on to it

play19:31

and i start to get slower

play19:35

see that see what i do there

play19:37

i really kind of go get mesmerized

play19:40

i get dreamy

play19:46

i keep it really low

play19:48

tone and in terms of level of activity

play19:54

because he's on the edge

play19:56

of over rousing

play19:58

i'm going to stay connected but not over

play20:00

rouse

play20:02

so this is like really where less is

play20:04

more i really need to work on not being

play20:07

overly anxious the second he's about to

play20:10

fall yeah yeah yeah your best bet is

play20:13

actually move back and wait

play20:16

rather than move forward and and try and

play20:18

get something yeah i probably have to

play20:20

like just count it 15.

play20:24

before i jump in and trying to get him

play20:26

because he can re-regulate on his own

play20:29

now

play20:30

yeah he does and he's very sensitive

play20:32

he's sensitive to

play20:35

just over stimulation the most and

play20:38

because he's been so overstimulated his

play20:39

body for so long has been so

play20:41

uncomfortable yeah yeah that's really

play20:43

helpful oh good

play20:47

you're right like we've been we're so

play20:48

anxious a second he's just about to lose

play20:51

it

play20:52

we rush in there and be picking up and

play20:54

we play games with him just to

play20:56

keep him distracted keep him distracted

play20:58

keep him happy keep him from losing it

play21:00

yeah um and it worked it worked and kept

play21:02

everybody zane for two months well but

play21:04

really now you have to shift your

play21:05

strategy yeah and now we have to kind of

play21:08

switch gears exactly yeah yeah so

play21:11

reviewing those types of beatrice and

play21:13

seeing where we mismatched

play21:16

and were we where i was not able to

play21:19

match his affect and his upset

play21:22

showed me

play21:24

a i'm anxious

play21:26

like i want him to be happy i want him

play21:28

to be comfortable

play21:31

but something in me just couldn't do it

play21:33

at that moment

play21:34

and it also showed me

play21:36

that

play21:38

despite all the theory you're not

play21:39

perfect i think the second when max

play21:42

starts to cry we just go like overload

play21:46

you know we just like

play21:48

drop everything we're doing and we run

play21:50

to his rescue and we try everything and

play21:53

maybe that's just too much maybe we just

play21:55

have to readjust because now he's

play21:56

getting better that was four months like

play21:59

now he's getting better

play22:01

and our

play22:03

our like

play22:05

tolerance to his

play22:08

um

play22:09

to his crying i think it's not

play22:12

it's not where it should be

play22:14

so

play22:15

the filming was really helpful in that

play22:17

my husband and i we could really sit

play22:18

down and be like all right so

play22:21

let's like reboot our system

play22:24

and let's try to

play22:26

like start it over like where are we now

play22:30

what are we going to do now when he's

play22:31

crying like maybe we don't have to run

play22:34

to his rescue right away

play22:37

and we didn't

play22:38

sitting down with her

play22:42

was painful

play22:45

and

play22:47

hard

play22:48

but at the same time it was very

play22:51

insightful liberating

play22:53

that's

play22:54

when i actually attended to him and i

play22:57

did step back and i did give him his

play22:59

faith and i did like back away from him

play23:01

and

play23:02

stopped like being in his face and

play23:03

that's when he came back to me meaning

play23:05

like from this like disengaged kind of

play23:07

position he came back to me and he

play23:10

responded to me again and that was the

play23:11

amazing thing like we really

play23:14

took that to heart and

play23:17

um

play23:18

soon enough like we were more relaxed

play23:20

and he was more relaxed and it really

play23:22

showed me that this is not a one-way

play23:23

street i think what i took back

play23:26

from that is that it's okay

play23:29

like it's okay not to be perfect 100 it

play23:32

just

play23:33

was very beneficial to us in society you

play23:35

think like yes the mother or the dad

play23:38

impacts the infant's behavior but it's a

play23:40

two-way street and i think beatrice's

play23:42

research really shows that that

play23:45

yes you affect the infant but the infant

play23:47

affects you

play23:49

and for me that was very true i would

play23:52

like people to be able to see

play23:56

that

play23:58

the baby is extraordinarily

play24:02

responsive

play24:04

to

play24:05

all the little tiny movements

play24:08

of the parent

play24:10

and they might express their response

play24:12

with a little head shift or a little

play24:14

hand gesture

play24:15

a little foot kick a little mouth

play24:17

opening when you watch these films frame

play24:20

by frame

play24:21

you see that with every movement of the

play24:24

parent the baby

play24:26

it's a dance and the two of them are in

play24:28

extraordinary communication it's very

play24:31

fast educational viewings

play24:34

of

play24:35

films of mother infinity interaction are

play24:37

a way of

play24:39

helping parents

play24:40

see more

play24:42

of what their babies communicate

play24:44

and see more

play24:46

of what they communicate to their babies

play24:53

[Music]

play25:07

[Music]

play25:29

[Music]

play25:40

[Music]

play25:58

[Music]

play25:59

you

Rate This

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Related Tags
Non-verbal CommunicationMother-Infant BondMicroanalysisEmotional ToneParenting InsightsColic UnderstandingInfant BehaviorParental ResponseCommunication StudyDevelopmental Research