how to meet girls in 2024 (WITHOUT APPS)...

Summary

The speaker discusses the challenges of modern dating, highlighting the scarcity of genuine interactions and the ineffectiveness of dating apps on self-esteem. He emphasizes the importance of learning to approach women in real life, as it allows for authentic connection and communication of personality traits that apps fail to convey. The video promises to share personal experiences and strategies for meeting potential partners without relying on dating apps, advocating for a return to 'meeting in the wild' as a more fulfilling and effective approach.

Takeaways

• 😔 The modern dating scene has seen a significant reduction in spontaneous, face-to-face interactions, making it harder to meet new people.
• 📉 The reliance on dating apps has led to a decrease in successful matches and a negative impact on self-esteem for many users.
• 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning to approach women in person, which can be a powerful and effective way to meet potential partners.
• 🚀 Direct approaches in public can lead to more authentic connections, as they allow for the immediate display of one's personality and intentions.
• 🤝 Meeting people through friends or social circles is still a viable method, despite the shrinking size of social networks in the digital age.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Joining groups or clubs based on shared hobbies can be an effective way to meet like-minded individuals, including potential romantic partners.
• 💪 Developing the skill of approaching women requires courage and practice but can lead to increased confidence and success in social interactions.
• 👫 The shift towards meeting people 'in the wild' rather than on dating apps is a growing trend that values real-life connections over online interactions.
• 🌐 The speaker suggests that personal development and the willingness to step out of one's comfort zone are key to finding meaningful relationships in the modern era.
• 🚫 A strong recommendation against relying solely on dating apps is made, advocating for more traditional and direct methods of meeting potential partners.

Q & A

What is considered the biggest catastrophe of modern dating according to the speaker?

The biggest catastrophe of modern dating is the collapse of small, innocuous interactions with new people, making it difficult to meet new individuals outside of established social circles.

How many new interactions does the speaker estimate one might have in a week?

The speaker estimates that the number of new interactions one might have in a week is probably not above five.

Why does the speaker believe that meeting girls has become more difficult in modern times?

The speaker believes it's more difficult to meet girls because modern living has led to increased isolation, and traditional avenues for meeting new people have diminished.

What was the speaker's experience with dating apps after a breakup?

The speaker had an awful experience with dating apps, receiving very few matches and feeling that it tanked their self-esteem.

What is the 'big hitter' method the speaker suggests for meeting girls in modern life?

The 'big hitter' method suggested by the speaker is learning how to approach girls in person, rather than relying on dating apps.

Why does the speaker consider in-person approaches to be more powerful than dating apps?

In-person approaches are more powerful because they allow the girl to meet the real person, with all their confidence, voice tonality, body posture, humor, and intelligence, which cannot be fully conveyed through dating apps.

What benefits does the speaker mention about meeting people in person compared to using dating apps?

Meeting people in person allows for a more authentic interaction, with both parties on even terms, and avoids the competition and pressure of dating apps where there is often a gender disparity.

How does the speaker describe the process of approaching girls as a skill that can be developed?

The speaker describes approaching girls as a skill that can be developed through practice, likening it to altitude training for athletes, making other social interactions easier.

What role do friends play in meeting new people according to the speaker?

Friends play a significant role as they can introduce you to new people, including potential romantic interests, and this method is becoming more popular among Gen Z.

Why is expanding one's social circle important for meeting girls, as mentioned by the speaker?

Expanding one's social circle is important because it increases the potential pool of people you can meet, including through friends of friends, and it helps in engaging in social activities more effectively.

What are some of the hobbies or clubs the speaker suggests joining to meet new people?

The speaker suggests joining clubs or taking up hobbies that one genuinely enjoys, such as running clubs or salsa classes, as they provide a natural environment to meet and interact with others.

Outlines

00:00

😔 The Struggles of Modern Dating

The speaker begins by highlighting the difficulty of meeting new people in modern times, particularly due to the collapse of casual interactions. They reflect on their own experience after a breakup, where they found it challenging to meet new people and form relationships. The dating scene felt barren, and the speaker had an especially negative experience with dating apps, which led to a drop in self-esteem. The paragraph concludes with the speaker's realization that modern life is not conducive to forming relationships and sets the stage for their journey to discover better ways to meet people in 2024.

05:00

💪 The Power of In-Person Approaches

The speaker emphasizes the importance of learning how to approach and speak to women in person, which they argue is a vital skill in modern dating. They share their personal journey of overcoming fear and building the confidence to initiate conversations with strangers, leading to meaningful connections. The benefits of face-to-face interactions are highlighted, such as the ability to present one's genuine self and the potential for mutual interest to develop naturally. The speaker also discusses the challenges and rewards of this approach, comparing it favorably to the often discouraging experience of dating apps.

10:02

🤝 Expanding Social Circles and Group Activities

The speaker suggests expanding one's social circle and participating in group activities as effective ways to meet potential partners. They note a shift among Gen Z towards forming relationships with friends, possibly due to the comfort and familiarity that comes with such connections. The paragraph addresses the shrinking of friendship circles and the importance of branching out to meet new people. The speaker also recommends joining clubs and pursuing hobbies as a means to encounter others who share similar interests, which can naturally lead to forming relationships.

15:02

🏃‍♂️ Prioritizing Personal Growth and Confidence

In the final paragraph, the speaker reiterates the importance of personal development and confidence in meeting and attracting potential partners. They advocate for a shift away from reliance on dating apps, which they view as ineffective and detrimental to self-esteem. The speaker encourages viewers to consider the counterculture movement of meeting people 'in the wild' and to take the initiative to approach and engage with others. The paragraph concludes with a call to action for those seeking meaningful relationships to step out of their comfort zones and embrace the challenge of personal growth and direct interaction.

Keywords

💡Modern Dating

Modern dating refers to the contemporary approach to romantic relationships, often facilitated by technology and social media. In the video, the speaker discusses the challenges of modern dating, such as the collapse of small interactions and the difficulty in meeting new people outside of dating apps, which is a central theme of the video.

💡Isolation

Isolation is the state of being alone or separated from others. The speaker mentions feeling isolated after a breakup and the broader societal trend of isolation, which contributes to the difficulty in meeting new people and forming relationships.

💡Dating Apps

Dating apps are mobile applications designed to facilitate casual dating and relationships. The video criticizes dating apps for their negative impact on self-esteem and the superficial nature of connections made through them, contrasting them with more authentic in-person interactions.

💡Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is the fear or nervousness experienced when initiating a conversation with someone new, particularly in a romantic context. The speaker discusses overcoming approach anxiety as a key to successful dating in the modern world.

💡Confidence

Confidence refers to a belief in one's abilities or qualities, which is important in social interactions. The video emphasizes the importance of confidence when approaching and interacting with potential romantic partners, as it can make one stand out and be more attractive.

💡Face-to-Face Interaction

Face-to-face interaction is direct, personal communication with another person. The speaker argues that face-to-face interactions are more authentic and effective for meeting potential partners than online interactions, as they allow for the conveyance of non-verbal cues and genuine personality traits.

💡Social Circles

Social circles are groups of people who interact with one another and share common interests or relationships. The video discusses the shrinking of social circles as a barrier to meeting new people and suggests expanding one's social circle as a way to increase dating opportunities.

💡Hobbies and Clubs

Hobbies and clubs are activities or groups centered around shared interests. The speaker recommends joining clubs or pursuing hobbies as a way to meet like-minded individuals and potential romantic partners, emphasizing the importance of shared interests in forming connections.

💡Personal Development

Personal development refers to the process of improving one's skills, abilities, and character. The video implies that working on personal development is a precursor to successful dating, as it can increase self-confidence and make one more attractive to potential partners.

💡In-Person Dating

In-person dating is the traditional method of meeting and getting to know potential partners through direct, real-life interactions. The speaker advocates for in-person dating as opposed to online dating, citing the authenticity and effectiveness of meeting people 'in the wild'.

💡Gen Z

Gen Z refers to the generation born between the late 1990s and the early 2010s, known for their use of technology and social media. The video mentions that Gen Z is leaning more towards dating through friendships and shared social circles rather than relying solely on dating apps, indicating a shift in dating trends.

Highlights

The collapse of small, everyday interactions in modern dating.

Difficulty in meeting new people outside of dating apps.

The importance of learning to approach women in person.

Benefits of meeting people in person over dating apps.

The impact of gender disparity on dating apps.

The value of face-to-face interactions for genuine connection.

The skill of approaching and its transferability to other social situations.

The analogy of approaching as altitude training for social skills.

The counterculture movement back to meeting people 'in the wild'.

The power of being unique in the dating market.

The importance of expanding one's social circle for meeting potential partners.

The role of friends in facilitating new connections and relationships.

The benefits of joining groups, hobbies, and clubs for meeting people.

The significance of shared interests in forming meaningful relationships.

The necessity of personal development and bravery in modern dating.

The transformative impact of learning to approach on self-esteem and social life.

The speaker's personal experience with meeting a partner through approaching.

The speaker's critique of dating apps and a call to abandon them for more effective methods.

Transcripts

the biggest catastrophe of modern dating

has to be the utter collapse of those

small innocuous little interactions that

we all used to have seriously think

about it how many interactions do you

have every week with someone that you've

not met

before I highly doubt it's above five

and of that five I back a bunch of them

are probably Amazon delivery drivers it

is never been more difficult to meet

girls but that's just because it's never

been more difficult to meet people we're

so isolated and insul and I felt this

when I came out of my biggest breakup of

my biggest

relationship I went back out onto the

dating scene and realized that I didn't

know anyone I didn't really have the

biggest social group at the time and I

didn't know how to meet people because

they just didn't seem to be I was coming

out of this breakup thinking oh this is

going to be amazing I'm going to meet

loads of new girls get to know people go

on great dates and simply put that was

not the case I went into what felt like

this Barren Wasteland where you just

didn't know where to head other than

dating apps and it's fair to say I had

an awful experience there cuz I turned

to dating apps and I got essentially no

matches no one was interested it tanked

my

self-esteem and that's a pretty familiar

story so I realized that modern living

isn't really set up to help you find

relationships but all is not lost cuz

after that point I went on a bit of a

journey to find out how do you meet

amazing girls in Modern Life and

especially in

2024 so I'm going to break down the ways

that I did it and the ways that I've

helped other people do it too and I'm

kicking off with the big one cuz I'm not

going to do that trick you know where we

hold the best thing to last so you stay

on the video nah we're going for the big

hitter first cuz I don't want any of you

running off before you get this so

number one is learning how to approach

girls so since that point that

girlfriend that breakdown of my

relationship all of the best girls that

I've ever met have been ones where I had

the balls to go over and speak to her I

didn't know her through a friend it

wasn't a bloody dating app it was

nothing like that often it was me

meeting her on the street where I've

walked over she's on a way to work she's

out shopping I've gone over and said hi

and I'm so grateful that I decided to

work on learning this skill cuz that's

what it is it is a skill to be able to

develop to be able to have that ability

to take yourself across and speak to

someone and not completely crumble and

not show up as a bumbling mess of who

you really are to be able to present

yourself accurately that you are a fun

guy you are interesting and the reason

that approach is so powerful is because

it has a bunch of benefits that you

don't get anywhere else compare it to

like a dating app well fundamentally to

start off with they get to meet

something close to the real you like

it's not a picture it's not an image

it's not a fake version of you all those

other things that don't get conveyed

through a dating app are able to be seen

here it is your confidence it is your

voice tonality your body posture your

humor your intelligence all of this can

actually be communicated in that short

space of time and so many of our

decisions based on what we become

attracted to they're unconscious we

don't just see that person and they tick

off like five boxes and we decide to be

attracted to them that doesn't happen

it's this unconscious process where

suddenly we're just like oh that person

and anytime we try and do this through

photos it just

disregulated to try and judge

attractiveness in that way we need that

face to face and

further when you meet in person like

this

you're on even terms the issue I find

with dating apps because of the gender

disparity that's on there of the fact

there are so many men to so few women

the amount of likes that go from men to

women you're already on the back foot

you're already in this position where

you feel like you're trying to get her

that you're trying to get her attention

across all these other guys when you go

meet her in person you're just two

people talking it becomes real it

becomes even they open up to you and

it's both of you putting effort in

whenever you match on a dating app

you're just you're fighting a losing

battle and that's not something that you

ever have to deal with when you're going

off across and speaking to someone and

yeah I get it's difficult and it's not

something that everyone wants to do

people are even terrified of the thought

because I was I was scared to do this to

start off with and that's why I call it

a skill but do you know what that also

does it already elevates you by the time

you go speak to her because she's

already realized like okay well this guy

is at least somewhat confident and kind

of capable in the sense that he's come

over and speak spoken to me like the

fact that it's difficult means that if

you do it you're already at a stronger

position because you are unique she has

100 different guys blowing up her

Instagram and her Tinder profile but she

doesn't have that many guys that are

willing to go over there and just say hi

you look awesome what's your name

because if you can do that you Opera in

a different world to all this cluster of

guys that are just messaging her begging

for a piece of her attention and she

just gets to see the real you learn to

approaches it's one of the most vital

skills because I like to consider it

like altitude training so if a team is

going to like the World Cup in football

and it's in this really hot humid place

that's high altitude what do they do

prior to doing that they do like a

training camp in somewhere that's even

higher even hotter so then they can come

back down and it's easier well the thing

is it doesn't get any more difficult

than walking up to some random person on

the street and saying hi so then when it

comes to being at a party where you half

kind of know that girl over there that

sort of through a mutual friend you've

got half a connection or at a club that

you go to a runner's Club well it's

bloody easy to go talk to them now cuz

you're used to having to do this in

public in with people that you've never

met so now it becomes easier to meet

girls in every other way and you also

come across really smooth and really

confident because you've done the Reps

like you've done the Reps of going out

and speaking to people and sparking that

conversation so now when you're in a

situation where well I already know some

things about you you're friends with

this person you enjoy this hobby it

becomes so much easier learning approach

isn't just about the fact that now

you're only ever going to find girls

that you go out and deliberately meet in

that way it's a skill that's transferred

to every other way that you meet women

going forward even on a first date like

a first date is awkward but if you've

done that effort of being someone who is

confident with no like prior interaction

the first date becomes

easy I cannot Hammer home how important

this is in 2024 that if you want to meet

women learning to be able to be brave

enough to go out on the street because I

can see the excuses already of like oh

it's scary or whatever the police will

come after me she'll hate it she'll

scream I've done over a thousand

approaches and if you go up and you're

polite and you're relatively normal

nothing bad will ever happen I've never

had issues across my entire time if you

just go across and be polite and be like

hi I thought you looked awesome today I

really like your dress whatever it is

whatever thing that is unique to that

circumstance it's like you go over you

say hi the worst thing they can do the

worst thing they can do is when they

walk straight past you because then

you're just like oh I'm invisible oh no

but uh you Rally from it real quick

because that's the thing once you can

get a few under your belt it just

becomes so much easier that getting that

first one being able to go over and say

hi that first time is the biggest step

and I'll do a video soon on everything

that I did to help myself get into the

habit of speaking to girls in this

manner cuz I know it's unusual but

that's what played to your benefit the

fact that it is unusual means it's such

a narrow field that you're competing in

why compete against the hordes of other

guys compete in the smallest Market

possible that has the highest leverage

so that is fundamentally the first place

that I think and sorry I have hey

FIFA and the one where I think you just

have the best chance I think it has

everything possible going for it and it

shouldn't be ignored just because it

feels scary truly it changed my life it

meant that when I got somewhat deported

from Bulgaria and had to come back to

the UK

and I was kind of mopy that I just set

up a bit of a thing there with having

relationships with girls and then I was

lonely and didn't have all my friends

around me I was able to fall back on

this skill I was able to go into a city

center and meet someone new and I've

been dating her ever since and it's been

really great and it was all off the fact

that I was brave enough to go out that

day I built up this skill built up that

ability to speak to people that I don't

know and that it will take you away from

feeling like you have to use apps I will

never download an app again cuz I don't

need to because it's not working in your

favor and I would go on the rant right

now of every single way that Tinder and

the rest of them are dragging your

self-esteem down to hell but we already

have enough videos of that and as

frustrated as it makes

me let's keep on with where you can meet

people so I've already mentioned these

second two that I'm going to throw in

there and it is through friends funny

enough gen Z are actually leaning into

this more the the new data coming out is

that dating apps were largely a

millennial Affair and gen Z are leaning

more into going out with people that

they were friends with I think it's

likely due to having that comfort and

familiarity factor and sort of pushing

back against the whole dating up culture

but it's still a really good way but the

reason that became more problematic is

because our friendship Circle shrunk

like we used to have comfortably six or

more friends easy and they would have

six or more friends and it creates this

like Matrix web going off out into the

world we don't really have that anymore

most people have like maybe two friends

and those people have two friends so

instead of being in a position where

you're like one away from about 100

people instead you're like one away from

10 it's just not it's not anywhere near

the same so being able to Branch out

your Social Circles is massive for being

able to meet girls cuz you never know

it's beneficial to you in multiple

different facets that when you are going

out and doing socializing things it's

rare that you're doing it on your own so

you actually need friends to be able to

go out and do stuff with even if this

girl isn't unknown but they'll also

bring in girls into the group maybe one

of them gets a girlfriend and she has a

friend it's still a really good way to

meet people and there's a reason that it

always used to be the most popular is

because it encourages people to behave

properly for one the the reason that

dating apps are so bad is because of the

anonymity of them you can just kind of

be an on dating apps and there's

no repercussions but when people used to

get set up by friends it encourages you

to be on your best behavior you're

somewhat accountable because you're um

Association to the friends who have set

you up so it's far less likely you're

going to flake it's far less likely

you're going to turn up and be an

you're actually going to put the

effort in to try and make it work and I

think that's why friendship ones work

quite

successfully thirdly that is groups

Hobbies clubs smash through going

through to these and pick the ones that

you enjoy like it's important for you to

have hobbies anyway it's important for

you to be out there doing the things

that you want to do and I know this

feels like effort having to be like oh

my God I have to attend different clubs

I have to have different friends but a

relationship is going to be the most

valuable thing that you have in your

entire life it is four times more um has

a four times higher effect on your life

satisfaction than your career

choice it is important so it means

putting in that extra effort being the

person that you can be and maybe it is

going to a badminton social maybe it is

going to salsa classes these are

genuinely really good ways to meet

people they just require effort and be

smart about it there are certain events

where it's like it's highly unlikely

that you're going to meet your dream

girl there if it's just some like M only

engineering club it's not it's probably

not going to be right for you and that

doesn't mean you just turn up and be a

predator at these events either but it

means going to something that you

naturally enjoy for me if I was trying

to start now i' go i' probably go to a

running club like I really love running

uh that also means that if I went to one

I'd be able to have like a somewhat High

status role in that group because I'm

good at running and enjoy it which also

helps but mainly just CU I love it and I

know it's a hobby that both girls and

boys love I'd also go to salsa classes

I've done that loads of times they're

definitely girls that go there and you

pick up an awesome skill and get

comfortable being in a close close

intimate interaction with a girl which

might be just exactly what you need

anyway to go and do these kind of things

picking clubs picking Hobbies really

effective but I'm still going to put you

back on number one I still think if you

to look for anything to replace your

dating apps which are entirely

ineffective it's deciding to go out and

approach girls and I know it seems scary

but it's entirely worth it and it's once

you've crossed that bridge and you've

started to be that guy you'll never turn

back and you'll be more confident and

it'll help you in every area of your

life and it's what is necessary we are

having a counterculture movement back to

meeting people I saw it referred to as

in the wild as opposed to on dating apps

and that truly is the most effective way

to meet people in

20124 so if this is calling out to you

maybe you've been single for a while now

and you're desperate to have a

girlfriend that you really feel like

you've done that personal development

you've worked on yourself but it's still

not happening for you why I break down

in this video here how you can go about

getting girlfriend in 2024 without using

dating apps