How to set the right goals and stay motivated | Ayelet Fishbach | TED

Summary

This video script explores the concept of motivation, debunking the myth that it's an inherent trait. It suggests that motivation is a skill that can be learned and applied to achieve goals. The speaker discusses strategies to overcome the 'middle problem' of goals, the importance of enjoying the journey, and the role of social support in maintaining motivation. Through personal anecdotes and studies, the script encourages viewers to be wise in their approach to motivation, emphasizing that it's not about strength but wisdom.

Takeaways

• 😌 Motivation is not an inherent trait but a skill that can be learned and developed.
• 🔑 Motivation is not about being strong; it's about being wise and making smart choices.
• 🎯 Setting goals is a key strategy for motivation, but the goals should be something one looks forward to, not just something to be checked off a list.
• 🏃‍♂️ Intrinsic motivation is crucial; people are more likely to stick with goals they find enjoyable and fulfilling.
• 🛣️ The 'middle problem' is a common issue where motivation declines during the middle phase of pursuing a goal.
• 🏋️‍♀️ To sustain motivation, make the middle of the process short and the end goal seem attainable.
• 💡 When facing setbacks, removing ego from the equation can facilitate learning and growth.
• 🌱 Seeking temporary discomfort can lead to realizations of personal growth and is a wise motivational strategy.
• 🤹‍♂️ Balancing multiple goals is essential; finding harmony between them can lead to better overall motivation.
• 🚫 Anticipating temptations can help in managing them effectively and staying focused on one's goals.
• 👫 The support of friends and family is vital for motivation; they act as a lighthouse guiding and supporting your journey.

Q & A

What is the main issue that the speaker's friend 'Bre' is facing?

Bre is feeling deeply tired and has lost her motivation, despite being dedicated to her job and being a responsible parent.

What is the speaker's perspective on motivation?

The speaker believes that motivation is not something you own or lose, but rather something you learn and develop through wisdom.

According to the speaker, what is the common reason why goals are abandoned?

Goals are often abandoned not because they are unimportant, but because people do not enjoy the process of pursuing them.

What strategy does the speaker suggest to make goals more exciting?

The speaker suggests that goals should be intrinsically motivating, meaning people should enjoy the process of achieving them as much as the outcome.

What is the 'middle problem' the speaker refers to?

The 'middle problem' refers to the decline in motivation that occurs during the middle phase of working towards a goal, when the initial enthusiasm has faded but the end is not yet in sight.

How does the speaker propose to overcome the 'middle problem'?

The speaker suggests making the middle part of the process short and setting smaller, more immediate goals to maintain motivation.

What role does the speaker suggest that friends and family play in motivation?

Friends and family act as a 'lighthouse' for motivation, providing support and encouragement, which is crucial for staying motivated.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with setbacks in the pursuit of goals?

The speaker advises removing one's ego from the situation to learn from setbacks and to seek discomfort temporarily as a sign of growth.

How does the speaker explain the importance of balancing multiple goals?

The speaker emphasizes that balancing multiple goals is like creating a well-balanced dish, where each element complements the others without overwhelming the overall experience.

What is the significance of the story about Marie and Pierre Curie mentioned by the speaker?

The story of the Curies illustrates the importance of mutual support and recognition in achieving great accomplishments, as they both won Nobel Prizes and inspired their family members to excel.

What is the speaker's final message about motivation?

The speaker's final message is that motivation is about being wise, not just strong, and that everyone is capable of learning how to motivate themselves effectively.