The Uncomfortable Path Is the Most Fulfilling Path

Summary

In this discussion, the hosts address a listener's dilemma of choosing between two promising job opportunities. They explore decision-making strategies, emphasizing the importance of aligning choices with personal priorities, embracing discomfort for growth, and avoiding decisions based solely on fear. The conversation highlights that a good decision is not just about the options available but also about how one commits to and makes the most of the chosen path. Key takeaways include trusting one's instincts, considering long-term satisfaction, and following one's joy while using fear as motivation.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker, Jess from Ireland, is facing a dilemma between two job opportunities, both offering training and development but with different additional benefits.
• 🤔 Jess highlights the difficulty of decision-making when both options seem equally appealing and emphasizes the importance of choosing the path that feels right, even if it's uncomfortable.
• 💡 The decision-making process should consider not just the options but also the individual's approach to the process, including commitment and presence in the chosen path.
• 🌈 Jess suggests that a good decision involves aligning one's energy with the chosen option and not dwelling on what could have been, to avoid regret.
• 📊 The speaker recommends considering priorities and evaluating which aspects of the opportunities are most important, and which can be self-created versus those that rely on external support.
• 🔄 Jess introduces the concept of 'heuristics' as a tool for decision-making, suggesting that one should reflect on whether they would make the same decision again in the future.
• 🎬 The speaker shares personal experiences, such as making films for Netflix, to illustrate the value of taking the uncomfortable path for potentially more fulfilling outcomes.
• 🗣️ The 'hell yeah or no' heuristic is introduced as a way to gauge one's emotional response to a decision, advocating for choosing what feels like a resounding 'hell yeah'.
• 🚶‍♂️ Jess advises that if a decision does not elicit a 'hell yeah' response, it may be best to decline it, suggesting that there are compassionate ways to say no.
• 💖 The importance of following one's joy is emphasized, as it aligns with one's true self, and using fear as a motivator rather than a deterrent.
• 🛑 The speaker warns against making decisions based solely on fear, such as choosing a less fulfilling option for financial security, and encourages listening to one's inner compass.

Q & A

What are some factors to consider when choosing between two job offers?

When choosing between two job offers, consider factors like growth opportunities, stability, mentorship, and how well the job aligns with your long-term career goals. It's also important to assess your ability to create the necessary support structures on your own versus relying on what the company provides.

How can one ensure they make a good decision when both options seem equally appealing?

To ensure you make a good decision, focus on aligning your energy with the choice you make. This means fully committing to your decision and not second-guessing yourself. Also, consider your priorities and how each option aligns with them.

Why might a pros and cons list not be as effective in decision-making?

A pros and cons list might not be effective because it can overlook the emotional aspects of decision-making. Human beings are emotional creatures, and decisions often hinge on how they make us feel, not just on the logical pros and cons.

How should one approach the concept of 'following your joy' in decision-making?

Following your joy means prioritizing what makes you come alive and aligns with your true self. It's about listening to your inner compass and choosing the path that brings you the most fulfillment, even if it seems more challenging.

What role does fear play in decision-making, according to the script?

Fear can be used as a motivator in decision-making. Rather than letting fear dictate your choices, let it fuel your determination to pursue what truly makes you happy. However, avoid making decisions solely based on fear, as this can lead to unfulfilling outcomes.

How can one avoid regretting a decision after it has been made?

To avoid regretting a decision, focus on fully committing to the path you choose and avoid dwelling on what could have been. Recognize that both options have their merits and that you can make the best of whichever choice you make.

What does the speaker mean by 'the uncomfortable path is often the most fulfilling path'?

The speaker suggests that the more challenging and less comfortable option often leads to greater personal growth and fulfillment. This path may involve more risks and uncertainties, but it can ultimately be more rewarding.

Why is it important to consider future regret when making a decision?

Considering future regret helps you think about whether your future self would be happy with the decision you're making now. It encourages you to choose the option that aligns with your long-term values and goals, reducing the likelihood of regret.

How can one use the 'hell yeah or no' heuristic in decision-making?

The 'hell yeah or no' heuristic suggests that if you aren't fully enthusiastic about an option, it might not be the right choice. If something doesn't feel like a 'hell yeah,' it might be better to say no and wait for an opportunity that truly excites you.

What is the significance of 'lining your energy up with what you have chosen'?

Lining your energy up with what you have chosen means fully committing to your decision and giving it your best effort. It involves embracing the choice you made and focusing on making it work, rather than second-guessing yourself or considering what could have been.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Navigating Career Crossroads: A Decision-Making Dilemma

Jess from Ireland seeks advice on making a difficult career decision. She has resigned from her current job after accepting a new offer promising training and development. However, her current employer counters with a similar offer, including mentoring from a role model. Jess discusses the challenge of choosing between two appealing opportunities and reflects on her decision-making process. She mentions the limitations of pros and cons lists and the emotional aspect of decisions, emphasizing the importance of aligning energy with chosen outcomes. She suggests affirming that one will be okay regardless of the choice and considering priorities such as growth versus stability, as well as the level of external support needed for achieving those priorities.

05:02

🎬 Lessons from Filmmaking: Risks and Rewards of Decisions

The speaker shares personal heuristics for decision-making, inspired by their experience in filmmaking. They discuss the importance of making decisions that one would be willing to make again in the future, using the example of producing two Netflix films that, despite the challenges and discomfort, were ultimately fulfilling. Another heuristic is the 'hell yeah or no' approach, which emphasizes the importance of making decisions based on strong positive feelings rather than lukewarm acceptance. The speaker also talks about the role of fear and joy in decision-making, advocating for following joy as a guide and using fear as motivation without letting it dictate the choice. The paragraph concludes with a reminder to align actions with decisions and to find compassionate ways to navigate difficult transitions.

Keywords

💡Decision-making

Decision-making is the process of making choices by identifying options and selecting one based on preferences and values. In the video, decision-making is central to the discussion, particularly in the context of choosing between two job opportunities. The speaker emphasizes that a good decision involves more than just logical analysis; it also requires emotional consideration and commitment to the chosen path.

💡Priorities

Priorities refer to the things that are considered most important and which guide decision-making. The video discusses how understanding one's priorities, such as valuing stability over growth or vice versa, can help in making difficult decisions. The speaker encourages viewers to evaluate which priorities they can achieve on their own and which require external support.

💡Training and Development

Training and development refer to the opportunities provided by employers to enhance employees' skills and knowledge. In the script, both job offers present opportunities for training and development, which complicates the decision for Jess. The concept is tied to career growth and the value of continuous learning in one's professional journey.

💡Comfort vs. Fulfillment

The contrast between comfort and fulfillment highlights the difference between taking an easy path and one that is more challenging but rewarding. The speaker suggests that while comfort might be appealing, the uncomfortable path often leads to greater fulfillment and personal growth. This idea is used to encourage viewers to consider long-term satisfaction over short-term ease.

💡Pro and Con List

A pro and con list is a decision-making tool that involves listing the positive and negative aspects of each option. The speaker mentions that while this method can be helpful, it might not capture the emotional and human aspects of a decision, which are equally important. This highlights the limitations of purely logical decision-making.

💡Homo economicus

Homo economicus is an economic theory that portrays humans as rational beings who make decisions based solely on maximizing utility. The video contrasts this with the reality that humans are emotional and often make decisions based on feelings rather than just logical analysis. This concept is used to explain why pro and con lists might not be sufficient for making good decisions.

💡Hell Yeah or No

Hell Yeah or No is a decision-making heuristic that suggests if something doesn’t elicit a strong positive response ('Hell Yeah'), then it should be a 'No.' This principle is used in the video to guide decision-making, particularly when an opportunity doesn't fully resonate with one's desires or passions. It emphasizes the importance of enthusiasm in making decisions.

💡Future Self

The concept of the future self involves considering how one's future self will feel about a decision made today. The speaker encourages thinking about whether a decision will be something that one's future self would be happy with or regret. This helps in making decisions that align with long-term goals and values.

💡Joy vs. Fear

Joy vs. Fear represents the internal conflict between pursuing what makes one happy (joy) and being held back by concerns about security or failure (fear). The speaker advises following joy while using fear as motivation, rather than letting fear dictate decisions. This concept is central to the video’s message of choosing paths that align with personal happiness and fulfillment.

💡Mentoring

Mentoring involves guidance and support from someone experienced in a particular field. In the video, Jess's current employer offers mentoring from a videographer who inspired her, making this a significant factor in her decision. The concept underscores the value of learning from others and receiving support in professional growth.

Highlights

Jess from Ireland is considering two job offers, each with different benefits: one offers training and development, and the other offers the same along with mentoring from an inspiring videographer.

TK shares his approach to decision-making, emphasizing the importance of choosing the uncomfortable but fulfilling path.

Making decisions is not just about choosing the better option on paper but also about how the decision will make you feel emotionally.

TK highlights that even a good decision can be made miserable by focusing too much on what could have been chosen instead.

TK advises aligning your energy with the decision you make to ensure it becomes a positive and fulfilling choice.

Consider your priorities: one job might offer better growth opportunities while the other offers more stability. Decide based on what you value more at this stage of your life and career.

TK suggests evaluating which priorities you feel more confident in creating on your own versus those that might need infrastructural support.

One heuristic TK uses is asking if he would make the same decision again in the future, helping to determine long-term satisfaction.

TK reflects on the importance of taking the uncomfortable path, as it often leads to more fulfilling outcomes despite the challenges.

Derek Sivers’ heuristic of 'Hell yeah or no' is mentioned, where if an opportunity doesn’t feel like a strong yes, it’s a no.

Making decisions with compassion and care for others is important, even when saying no or leaving a job.

Follow your joy and let fear fuel your motivation to take necessary actions, rather than letting fear dictate your decisions.

TK discusses the common mistake of letting fear override joy, leading to decisions that prioritize safety over happiness.

The podcast promotes the idea of aligning with your true desires and not letting fear dictate your choices in life and career.

The video ends by encouraging viewers to follow the podcast on Patreon to access more content and support the ad-free platform.

Transcripts

our next question today is from Jess hi

I'm Jess from Ireland I have a question

about where my options I've recently

handed in my 30 days notice to my

employer after receiving a job offer the

offer I accepted has guaranteed me

training and development within the

field I work in however my current

employer has offered me the same

training and development with mentoring

from a videographer who inspired me to

pursue

videography how would you approach

making the difficult decision between

two fantastic opportunities TK how do

you approach decision- making in your

own life because I often think about

like if there are two paths and I'm at

have fork in the road right the

uncomfortable path is often the most

fulfilling path and it's also usually

the path I don't want to go down there's

ponies and rainbows on this one and it

looks more appealing now sometimes it

just may be more appealing and I don't

want to go down if you know definitively

like one path is going to be appreciably

better for you than the other right well

it's easy to make that decision that's

not what we're talking about here right

I also find for me that generally and I

do this still if I do a proon list it

doesn't really help me as much as you

would think it would because well we

know about this economic term homo e

economicus right it's like this ideal

human being who doesn't make any

emotional decisions but just acts on the

information that is presented to them

yeah but human beings we are creatures

who act and react emotionally and often

these decisions are about how's that

decision going to make you feel because

maybe the one decision you're going to

make makes sense on a spreadsheet

monetarily it's a better decision yeah

but that's like looking at a rainbow in

black and white it removes all the

humanity from the decision-making

process so I've got some heuristics that

I use in my own decision-making process

but I'd like for you to talk a bit about

decision

making when I think about choosing

between two fantastic options or two

good options I I like to first begin by

affirming you're going to be okay either

way right um part of making a good

decision isn't just about prediction

which one am I going to be happiest with

but it's also about recognizing that a

good decision isn't just about the

option but it's about the way you choose

to show up for the process and so it's

like if I'm choosing between two good

restaurants in order for this to be a

good decision I've got to do more than

just think about my priorities and pick

a good restaurant but I also have to

make the choice that once I choose that

then hey I'm going to make this work I'm

going to be fully present here I'm not

going to psych myself out and be

thinking about what I could have ordered

if I had gone to that restaurant because

even with a great decision you can

render it miserable by focusing too much

on what you could have done instead so a

good decision is about lining your

energy up with what you have chosen

after you've chosen and if you got two

Fant fantastic options you've got to

know you're going to be okay because

once you make the choice you'll line

your energy up with it and you'll improv

the best way forward here's another

thing I'd

say think about what your priorities are

in two ways the first way is one option

might offer you something like a better

upside for growth another option might

offer you more stability and you can

think about that by saying well I think

I value stability more than upside for

growth at this stage of my life life and

career or at this stage I think I value

growth a little bit more than stability

and I've got a higher tolerance for risk

so I'm willing to do it that's one way

you can do it but a second way you can

do it is you can say of these priorities

I have which ones do I need the least

amount of infrastructural support to

create which ones do I think I'm most

capable of creating on my own and maybe

I don't feel as confident in my ability

to create a powerful Network on my own

and so I lean on this company because it

provides me with an infrastructure that

makes it easier for me to do that and I

can take my chances with some of these

other priorities creating them on my own

so what are your priorities what's the

most important thing to you and of your

priorities which ones do you feel more

confident in your ability to create on

your own those can be a couple of fistic

to help you think this through I've got

a couple as well that really stand out

to me and those are really helpful thank

you TK the first one is would I make

this decision again now it's hard to

make that decision now but you can think

about it will my future self want to

make this decision again will my future

self be happy with this decision a year

from now and I can look back now and say

oh I wouldn't do that again but yes I

would make our first two Netflix films

again yes I would make that decision

again even though those are really

difficult so it goes back to that heris

I talked about earlier is the

uncomfortable path is the most

fulfilling path it would have been way

more comfortable to not make those films

it cost a lot of money but also way more

important than that a lot of time a lot

of energy a lot of attention a lot of

Heartache a lot of arguments with the

the film producing team and we're going

back and forth and you know there's just

so much that goes into that it was

uncomfortable to do that especially

because you don't know what the

outcome's going to be you don't even

know what outcome you want with that but

for us it was creating something that

would reach people right it's fairly

vague outcome

but there's no way I could have known

the the amount of people you tens of

millions actually over a 100 million

people now between both of those films

that we have reached because we were

willing to take the uncomfortable path

the other heris that works well is Derek

cers hell yeah or no and at some point

that is a that is not an intellectual

exercise so much as it is how do I feel

about this does it feel like a hell yes

I have a friend who reached out to me

recently and her job is requiring her to

relocate to a city in a different state

and she I could hear in her voice right

away and she was asking like well give

me some insights about this she I know

you don't give advice but what What

observations do you have about uh about

this situation and I said well my first

observation is I can hear it in your

voice this is not a hell yeah for you

and for me it doesn't mean you shouldn't

do it but for me if at this point in my

life I've decided that if it's not not a

hell yeah then it is a no now it doesn't

mean that I'm going to be unreasonable

with the people around me doesn't mean I

have to be a jerk when I say no there

are really compassionate ways to say no

there are compassionate ways to walk

away from a career so you're not just

walking into your boss's office and

saying screw you I quit this is no

longer a hell yeah for me that a great

way to there's also a hell yeah in the

way that we sort of DeCamp from a a

situation like that how can I make this

this a hell yeah as I walk toward

wherever I'm wanting to walk

next one last thing I'd say is follow

your joy and be fueled by your fear your

joy is what makes you come alive it's

what lines up with who you truly are and

that's the thing that you want to

prioritize in your life and sometimes

you will feel fear how will I pay the

bills how will I have security you want

to let that fuel you in the sense of of

leveraging that fear to motivate you to

do the things you know to do but how do

you get the guidance for what you should

do by following that inner compass that

says this is my joy the mistake that we

often make in these situations is we

feel fueled by Joy but we follow our

fear our heart is saying this is what

makes me come alive and man I would be

so happy if I did this but then we say

yeah but I can't give myself permission

to do that because my fear is issuing

these threats about what's going to

happen to me if I listen to you and so

I'm sorry I love you I want to marry you

I wish you were the one but this is the

person over here even though they're

abusive they promise to pay my bill so

I'm going to go follow my fear you don't

want to do that thanks for watching this

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