I Relapsed...

Summary

In this reflective video, the speaker reveals his decision to withdraw from competitive bodybuilding, citing a lack of passion and the negative impact on his health, marriage, and business. He discusses his previous use of steroids and the pressures of maintaining a competitive physique, acknowledging the sacrifices involved. The speaker expresses his new focus on supporting others in their fitness journeys and finding fulfillment in mentoring rather than pursuing personal athletic glory.

Takeaways

• 🚫 The speaker has decided to stop using steroids and will no longer pursue a competitive bodybuilding career.
• 💔 The initial reason for stopping steroids was to prioritize health and focus on marriage and business, but the speaker has since relapsed.
• 🏋️‍♂️ The speaker's venture into bodybuilding was an attempt to draw attention to his brand, which he now acknowledges was a mistake.
• 💼 He admits that using bodybuilding to boost his brand was a 'cowardly approach' and not the best strategy for business growth.
• 🤔 The speaker reflects on his lack of passion for bodybuilding as a competitive sport and the negative impact it had on his personal life.
• 🔄 At 29 years old, his aspirations have shifted from seeking fame and records to focusing on a stable and secure future with his wife.
• 🚫 The speaker is pulling out of a competition he had previously committed to, recognizing that the motivation was wrong.
• 💊 Steroid use is seen as compromising his health, integrity, and trust with his audience, and is against his long-term goals.
• 🏆 He expresses admiration for those who can balance a professional bodybuilding career with personal and business life, acknowledging it's not for him.
• 🛑 The speaker is stepping away from the extreme lifestyle required for professional bodybuilding, citing the negative effects on his mental and physical well-being.
• 🌟 He aspires to be a mentor, helping others discover their potential and providing opportunities for them to shine.

Q & A

Why did the speaker initially stop using steroids?

The speaker initially stopped using steroids to stop compromising their health, ensure a happy and healthy marriage with their wife, and to focus more on their business in PR and the gym.

What challenges did the speaker face with their company PR that led to a relapse into using steroids?

The speaker faced several challenges with their company PR that led them into panic mode, making a decision to pursue bodybuilding to bring more attention to their brand and help it recover.

Why did the speaker consider bodybuilding as a way to improve their brand?

The speaker thought that by becoming a bodybuilder and possibly winning a Pro card, they could attract more attention to their brand, which they believed would help their business.

What does the speaker identify as the main mistake in their approach to building their brand through bodybuilding?

The speaker identifies the main mistake as taking a 'coward approach' out of fear of venturing into the mindset of a businessman and abandoning what they know best, which is creating content and generating sales.

How does the speaker describe their passion for bodybuilding?

The speaker describes their passion for bodybuilding as not being from a place of love for the sport itself but rather from a place of desperation and a desire to gain fame and attention.

What changes in the speaker's life and aspirations have led them to reconsider their decision to compete as a bodybuilder?

The speaker is now 29 years old, has a wife, and has more responsibilities. Their aspirations have changed dramatically, and they no longer wish to pursue a competitive athlete's lifestyle that compromises their health and personal life.

Why does the speaker feel that going back on steroids is against their values and commitments?

The speaker feels that going back on steroids compromises their health, integrity, trust with their fans, and future, especially considering their commitment to their wife and the desire for a financially secure future.

What lifestyle changes did the speaker experience when they were deeply involved in bodybuilding preparation?

The speaker experienced a restrictive and isolating lifestyle, characterized by malnourishment, lack of sleep, irritability, and an inability to enjoy life with their wife or others due to the demands of bodybuilding preparation.

What is the speaker's current perspective on their past aspirations and how they have evolved?

The speaker acknowledges that their past aspirations were more focused on fame and strength records, but as they enter their 30s, their priorities have shifted towards a more sustainable and fulfilling life, including a successful business and a happy marriage.

What new direction does the speaker intend to take with their business and personal life?

The speaker intends to focus on marketing their brand and products, particularly a patented belt they are releasing, and to take on a mentor role, helping others to realize their potential and gain attention for their talents.

How does the speaker feel about pulling out of a competition for the first time in their life?

The speaker acknowledges that it is hard for them to pull out of a competition, as they have never done so before, even when they knew their preparation was not optimal. However, they believe this decision is the best for their current lifestyle and commitments.

Outlines

00:00

💉 Relapse into Steroids and Business Challenges

The speaker discusses their relapse into using steroids after previously deciding to stop for health and personal reasons. They reveal the initial decision to quit was to focus on their marriage and business, but business challenges led to a panic-driven decision to return to bodybuilding to attract attention to their brand. The speaker acknowledges this as a mistake, admitting that it was a 'coward's approach' and not driven by passion for bodybuilding. They express regret for not sticking to their strengths in content creation and marketing, and for compromising their health and integrity by going back on their word.

05:00

🏆 The Burden of Competitive Bodybuilding

The speaker elaborates on the negative impact of competitive bodybuilding on their personal life, including the effects of malnourishment and the use of drugs, which led to irritability and a compromised ability to enjoy life with their spouse. They reflect on past relationships and how their single-minded focus on bodybuilding was a form of selfishness. The speaker also discusses the difficulty of balancing a competitive bodybuilding lifestyle with maintaining a healthy relationship and running a business, ultimately deciding that the sacrifices required are too great and not worth the potential rewards.

10:01

🚫 Withdrawal from Competition and New Life Direction

The speaker announces their decision to withdraw from competitive bodybuilding and not to pursue a Pro card, recognizing that the lifestyle is not for them. They express their new purpose as motivating others to find their own path in fitness and to avoid the extreme sacrifices of professional competition. The speaker also discusses their contentment with past achievements in strength sports and their readiness to move on to the next phase of life, which includes mentoring others and focusing on their business, such as a patented belt they plan to release. They apologize to any fans who may feel let down by their decision but emphasize that this change is for the best, considering their personal life and future goals.

Keywords

💡Steroid cycle

A steroid cycle refers to the period during which an individual uses anabolic steroids, typically in a structured pattern of intake to achieve specific physical goals, such as muscle growth or performance enhancement. In the video, the speaker mentions having gone back on a 'full steroid cycle,' indicating a return to using these substances after a previous decision to stop, which underscores the struggle with personal health and the pursuit of bodybuilding goals.

💡Relapse

Relapse is the act of falling back into a previous behavior or condition, often after a period of improvement or cessation. The speaker discusses a 'relapse' into using steroids, which signifies a return to a harmful habit that they had previously overcome in an effort to prioritize health and personal relationships.

💡Bodybuilding

Bodybuilding is a sport that involves the development of one's muscles to achieve an aesthetically pleasing and muscular physique. The video's speaker initially pursued bodybuilding as a means to attract attention to his brand, but later realizes that this was not a passion-driven decision, and it was a 'massive mistake' that did not align with his genuine interests or long-term goals.

💡PR (Public Relations)

Public Relations (PR) involves the management of a public figure's or company's image and relationship with the public. The speaker mentions facing challenges with his PR company, which led him into a panic mode and influenced his decision to pursue bodybuilding as a means to boost brand visibility.

💡Passion

Passion refers to a strong emotional connection or enthusiasm for a subject or activity. The video discusses the importance of pursuing activities out of genuine passion rather than external motivations like fame or money. The speaker contrasts his initial lack of passion for competitive bodybuilding with his later realization of the importance of passion in finding fulfillment in one's endeavors.

💡Integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. The speaker mentions compromising his integrity by going back on his word to stop using steroids, which highlights the internal conflict between his public commitments and private actions.

💡Competitive athlete

A competitive athlete is an individual who participates in sports or physical activities at a high level, often with the goal of winning competitions or achieving professional status. The video's speaker reflects on his decision to stop pursuing a career as a competitive athlete, recognizing that the lifestyle and sacrifices required were not in line with his personal values and aspirations.

💡Mentor

A mentor is someone who provides guidance, support, and advice to less experienced individuals, helping them to develop and achieve their goals. The speaker expresses a desire to take on a mentoring role, aiming to use his platform to bring attention to undiscovered talents and help them realize their potential.

💡Product development

Product development refers to the process of creating new products or improving existing ones. The speaker mentions focusing more on product development and marketing as a better approach to building his brand than pursuing personal fame or competitive achievements.

💡Commitment

Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, or another person. The video's speaker discusses his serious commitment to his wife and the desire to ensure a happy and financially secure future together, which influenced his decision to step away from the competitive bodybuilding lifestyle.

💡Lifestyle

Lifestyle refers to the interests, opinions, and behaviors that together characterize the way a person lives. The speaker contrasts the restrictive and isolating lifestyle of a competitive bodybuilder with his own evolving aspirations and the importance of maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life outside of professional pursuits.

Highlights

The speaker stopped using steroids to prioritize health and focus on marriage and business.

A relapse occurred, with the speaker returning to a full steroid cycle due to business challenges and panic.

The initial decision to stop steroids was to avoid health compromise for personal and business reasons.

The speaker acknowledges a mistake in using bodybuilding to attract attention to the business.

There was a realization that bodybuilding was not a passion but a desperate attempt for business visibility.

The speaker admits to a 'coward approach' by avoiding the mindset of a businessman.

A shift in focus from individual achievements to product development and marketing is proposed.

The speaker clarifies that bodybuilding was never a passion and was pursued for the wrong reasons.

A decision to withdraw from a competition and not pursue a Pro card is announced.

The speaker reflects on the change in aspirations and responsibilities as he approaches his 30s.

The impact of steroids on health, integrity, and business focus is discussed.

The speaker expresses admiration for those who balance professional bodybuilding with personal life and business.

The restrictive and isolating lifestyle of professional bodybuilding is highlighted.

The speaker admits the difficulty of maintaining relationships and a business while being a competitive athlete.

A commitment to a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle for the speaker and his wife is emphasized.

The speaker shares his new purpose of motivating others to find their version of fitness.

A decision to mentor and uplift others in the fitness community is made.

The speaker expresses contentment with his achievements in the strength world and readiness for life's next phase.

An apology is offered to those who may feel let down by the speaker's decision to quit competitive bodybuilding.

Transcripts

last year I made a video saying I

stopped

steroids and I had as of 3 months ago

relapse and gone back on a full steroid

cycle now the reason why I stopped in

the first place for those who didn't

watch the video is to stop compromising

my

health to ensure that I can have a happy

healthy marriage with my wife and to

focus

more on my business being PR and now the

gym I faced several challenges with my

company PR that led me to go into panic

mode and make a decision to pursue

bodybuilding in an attempt to bring more

eyeballs on what I'm doing and in turn

help my brand get back to where it was

and even better now that is a massive

mistake that is not what I should have

done to build my brand I know how to do

that and that was

a coward approach because I was scared

to venture into the mindset of a

businessman and abandon what I know best

which is creating content and generating

sales based on what I'm doing as an

individual and not what I can do for the

brand as taking a different approach

with my content and focusing more on

product development vment and marketing

the products not marketing myself as an

individual so

me choosing to get back into

bodybuilding was not from a place of

passion because since I started training

bodybuilding was never a passion of mine

not bodybuilding on a competitive level

at

least it was the

training that got me into Fitness I Lov

lifting heavy I love hitting PRS I like

watching my physique change but I've

never been interested in posing or in

trying to become the next Mr Olympia

whether I had the potential to or

not so this decision to get into

bodybuilding was coming from the wrong

place it was coming from a place of

despiration of letting me get on stage

let me win my Pro card and that will put

eyeballs on me what I'm doing on my

brand and that will help me build my

business but that is the wrong approach

again that's a coward approach that is

me being afraid to not be Larry Wheels

anymore and now be Larry Williams and

focus on marketing my brand and my

products but I'm going to dive in the

deep end and I'm pulling out of this

competition I said I would do I don't

want to get my Pro card I don't want to

pursue being a competitive athlete

anymore because it's a distraction from

what I want out of my life moving to my

30s I'm now 29 years old and my

aspirations and Ambitions have changed

dramatically from when I first came on

to seeing the social media I have more

responsibilities now I have a wife a

serious commitment to her and I want to

make sure that we have a happy and

financially secure future

and me hopping back on steroids is going

against everything I said I would do

it's compromising my health my Integrity

because now I'm going against my own

word it's compromising my trust and with

you the fans that are watching my

content it's compromising my future and

most importantly my business because

when I'm focused on being a competitive

athlete it's taking away from energy and

time that I could be putting

into my business which is going to give

me dramatically more in return than me

stepping on stage as a bodybuilder or me

breaking another world record as a

powerlifter or me trying to become the

number one arm wrestler in the world or

trying to become the world's strongest

man in my early and mid 20s those were

aspirations of mine but living a life as

a competitive athlete I know firsthand

from experience is a very recluse and I

isolated

lifestyle especially as a bodybuilder

which is why I never was able to commit

to being

one being a competitive

bodybuilder even at the amateur level

trying to go pro let alone as a pro

level at the pro level trying to become

next Mr

Olympia is a very restrictive lifestyle

and my hat goes off to those that are

able to keep a healthy relationship and

build their business and

live and manage a successful career

while being a competitive professional

bodybuilder because for

me when I am

on the kitchen sink as a cycle Tren Clen

T3 anavar this that everything and get

my hands on and efforts to become Pro

and be a competitive bodybuilder it

changes me it changes who I am and and

when I'm malnourished I'm eating

thousand calories a day I'm on no carbs

I'm not sleeping because of the drugs

I'm taking I'm irritable right I can't

go out and enjoy my life with my wife or

really do anything beyond train and

sleep and

eat which was okay before I was married

I've had Partners I've had girlfriends

and they come and go and if they W

willing to support my lifestyle for me

that was was fine I was selfish I was

saying listen if you don't want to live

this life with me then you can go kick

rocks but most of them tolerated it and

it wasn't an issue but for the level of

commitment I have to my wife it's

betrayal to her she didn't marry a

bodybuilder I was in a bodybuilder when

she met me and I don't even like myself

when I'm deep in prep as a bodybuilder

because of the reasons I mentioned I'm

irritable I'm not sleeping I'm hungry

all the time I'm frustrated when people

around me are enjoying food and enjoying

their life I just feel like I'm a Debbie

down and I'm bringing down the people

around me I don't want to be that person

and again I tip my hat to those that are

able to live that life all the time and

not compromise their relationships and

not compromise their business I

personally cannot do it and it's

frustrates me to say that it's not for

me it's too hard for me I cannot apply

myself and commit to that lifestyle and

I believe it's because of the lack of

passion and the reason why I got into it

in the first place the reason why I set

my goals on bodybuilding in the first

place it was from a place

of well can I get more famous doing it

can I earn more money doing it and I

thought yes and attempting to become one

of the best in the world with that being

my aspiration with that being my

motivation my driving force is the very

first and biggest mistake if it it was

coming from a place of I love

bodybuilding and I would be willing to

die for this Sport and I don't need to

collect a check from I don't need to get

a Pat in the back for doing it I don't

need to try and become more famous or

grow my business or grow my platform

it's not important I just love the sport

I love the lifestyle that's different

and the ones that truly enjoy it and

they don't expect anything in return

from it are the ones that rise to the

top and I'm speaking from experience

because I know when I was a powerlifter

as a late teen early TW in my in my and

in my early

20s I did powerlifting because I enjoyed

it and I didn't have any aspirations to

make a living from it it wasn't till

years later that I decided to monetize

it because my coach and the people

around me realized I had the opportunity

to but it NE was never the driving force

I didn't care if it made me famous or if

I earned money from it that's not what

got me into it that's not why I continue

to do it and it was that passion of I'm

willing to die for this sport because it

brings me so much joy that money and

fame is just the icing on top it's not

the meting

potatoes

now I publicly made an announcement a

couple weeks couple days ago on my

Instagram saying I'm going to do a show

in Ireland I'm not doing that show I'm

not committing to it I'm not following

through with it I don't want that

lifestyle for me or for my for my wife I

don't want to do USA it's not for me my

motivation to do it is wrong

and does that make me a quitter I

believe yes I am quitting I'm not

following through and I believe it's for

the better it's for the better good of

my relationship and more importantly for

my business I have a patented belt that

I'm releasing later this year and I

haven't spoken about it once and I

started developing it early last year

because I'm so caught up in trying to be

a compe ative

bodybuilder it really DET detracts from

my aspirations and the reason I said I

was stop service in the first

place going on trt was the best decision

I've made in a very long time I felt

great I looked great and for a short

period I really

was having television on my business and

my relationship and creating a more

sustainable and better life for myself

and my wife and I going back to that

mindset and even better I'm going cold

turkey on being a competitive athlete I

believe my purpose here

is to motivate people to get in the gym

to find the version of Fitness that

suits them best

because for me it never was just one

Avenue of Fitness for me I truly enjoy

seeing what my body is capable of and I

encourage those watching to do the same

I enjoyed powering for a time I enjoyed

arm wrestling for a time I enjoyed

bodybuilding for a time to an extent and

I stop enjoying it when it gets too

extrem let's not forget I also enjoy

strong man for a time but once I've made

enough progress to where I feel like I'm

approaching a professional level that's

where it stops being fun now now it's

tremendous compromise and sacrifice for

arguably not enough

reward

and for me again in my late teens early

20s as a

powerlifter it the only reward I needed

was hitting a PR but entering my 30s my

aspirations and my responsibilties has

changed dramatically and now I create

content to keep me motivated and and

finding more Diamonds in the Rough like

Andrew Jack like Ruby l that is

extremely fulfilling for me the ability

to be able to use my platform to bring

others up to bring eyeballs on people

that haven't ever had the

opportunity to realize their value and

for the world to see that hey there's

something extraordinary over here that

is what brings me the most satisfaction

in the world right now I hope I have the

privilege to find another Andrew Jack

and another Ruby l I hope I can be the

person that can be The Guiding Light and

be able to give him a platform to

prosper off of right I want to be in

that position right I want to take on

that Mentor role and I want to be able

to help those diam with in the rough get

the deserved attention and

opportunity and this is a very hard

video to make because I've never once

despite

me competing in four different

disciplines strongman bodybuilding power

lifting arm wrestling I've never once

pulled out of a competition because I

decided it was too challenging and not

for me even if I knew the prep wasn't

going well or I made mistakes in the

prep like going off program or not

eating or not following my nutrition

plan basically even if I knew that I

wasn't doing what I supposed to be doing

to 100% in the prep I still followed

through and showed up knowing that I had

left things on the table I should have

been done knowing that I'm not going to

take first place because of me because

I've made mistakes during prep because I

wasn't fully committed cuz I didn't

really 100% apply myself this is the

only time I've ever done that and it's

because I'm so against this lifestyle

it's just not for me and I am never ever

going to pursue my Pro card again I'm

not going to say yeah maybe I can step

on the Olympia stage because I'm never

going to be able to apply myself to that

extent the passion isn't there for me to

be able to handle to tolerate the

sacrifice you need to get there and the

1000lb deadlift would require me to hop

on more gear and eat more food and be

bigger than I've ever been before which

undoubtedly is the most unhealthy thing

I can imagine right now and I am not do

a that it's not worth the reward I am

very content with my achievements in the

strength world I'm happy with how far

I've gotten on the squat bench delip

overhead press dumbbell this that I've

done many pie of strength and I'm

content with my progress in them and now

I'm ready for the next phas in my life

for anyone that feels let down or like I

betre you I

apologize but this decision is the best

for me my wife for my future

with that said thank you so much for

watching and for your patience and I'll

see you soon in the next one