How To Build Your Self-Esteem

Summary

This script discusses the concept of self-esteem, emphasizing its foundation on unconditional human worth, love, and growth. It explores how external expectations can negatively impact self-esteem when internalized, and suggests both external validation from others and internal reflection as methods to build and improve self-esteem.

Takeaways

• 🧩 The ego can interfere with self-esteem by defining oneself in a certain way, leading to a focus on external factors rather than internal worth.
• 🌟 Self-esteem is built on three sequential factors: unconditional human worth, love, and growth.
• 📚 Unconditional human worth is described by five axioms, emphasizing that all individuals have infinite, eternal, and unconditional worth as persons.
• 💰 External factors like money, looks, and achievements do not add or diminish a person's worth, which is infinite and unchanging.
• 💔 Loss of self-esteem often comes from internalizing external expectations and allowing them to define one's identity.
• 👶 Children develop a sense of self-worth through emotional mirroring and attachment, which can be affected by how they are treated by caregivers.
• 🔄 The brain forms hierarchies of worth based on societal expectations, which can lead to a conditional sense of self-worth.
• 🤝 External validation from others can boost self-esteem, but it's important to recognize that this is not the only way to build it.
• 💭 Internal self-reflection and understanding where one's beliefs about self-worth come from is crucial for building self-esteem.
• 🔄 Disentangling the ego from external expectations is key to improving self-esteem, as it allows for a more objective view of oneself.
• 🌱 Growth and learning from outcomes without involving the ego can lead to better personal development and a healthier sense of self-esteem.

Q & A

What is the primary issue discussed in the script regarding self-esteem?

The script discusses the issue of how ego can influence self-esteem by defining a person in a certain way, leading to a focus on external factors rather than internal worth.

What are the three sequential factors that build self-esteem according to the script?

The three sequential factors that build self-esteem are unconditional human worth, love, and growing.

How does the concept of 'unconditional human worth' relate to self-esteem?

Unconditional human worth is a foundational aspect of self-esteem, emphasizing that all individuals have infinite, eternal, and unconditional worth as persons, regardless of external factors like money, looks, or achievements.

What role do external factors play in the perception of self-worth according to the script?

External factors, such as money, looks, performance, and achievements, do not add or diminish a person's inherent worth. They may increase one's market or social worth, but a person's core worth remains infinite and unchanging.

How does the script suggest that self-esteem is lost?

Self-esteem is lost when external expectations are internalized, leading to a belief that one's value is determined by external outcomes rather than inherent worth.

What is the difference between confidence and ego as discussed in the script?

The difference between confidence and ego is that confidence is based on internal judgments of self-worth, while ego is influenced by external judgments and can lead to a loss of self-esteem.

How does the script relate the concept of 'emotional mirroring' to the development of self-esteem?

Emotional mirroring, particularly from parents, plays a crucial role in developing a sense of security and self-esteem. When children feel emotionally mirrored and loved unconditionally, they develop a strong sense of self-worth.

What is the role of societal expectations in the formation of self-esteem?

Societal expectations can influence self-esteem by creating hierarchies of worth based on external achievements. Internalizing these expectations can lead to a decrease in self-esteem when one's self-worth is tied to external outcomes.

How can external validation contribute to building self-esteem?

External validation, such as approval from peers or others, can contribute to building self-esteem by reinforcing a person's belief in their own worth, especially when the validation comes from those who are not obligated to provide it.

What is the script's advice for developing self-esteem internally?

The script advises recognizing and disentangling external expectations from one's sense of identity. This involves critically examining the beliefs about oneself and understanding that outcomes do not necessarily define one's worth.