The impact of social media & alcohol on loneliness

The Telegraph

19 Oct 201807:11

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares a deeply personal journey of isolation and struggle with bulimia, pneumonia, and the pressures of social media. After losing friends and experiencing a lung collapse, they found solace in Tumblr, gaining a large following but also facing online harassment. Moving away and leaving the platform behind, they embraced sobriety and a new focus on mental health advocacy. The narrative highlights the importance of using social media positively and finding community in sobriety groups like Club Soda, emphasizing self-acceptance and the value of genuine connections.

Takeaways

😔 The speaker feels alone and hopeless, struggling with a sense of isolation and a lack of support from friends.
💔 They experienced a serious health crisis, with pneumonia leading to a collapsed lung, which was exacerbated by their bulimia.
🏠 After a period of intensive care and housebound recovery, they lost many friends and turned to Tumblr for social interaction and validation.
📈 Their online presence on Tumblr grew rapidly, gaining a large following, but this came at the cost of increased isolation in real life.
🥂 The speaker discusses the pressures of drinking culture, especially during university years, and the anxiety it caused them.
🚫 They faced severe online harassment after making a video about their bulimia, which included threatening messages and criticism.
🔄 In response to the negative experiences, they moved to a new location, deleted their Tumblr account, and sought a fresh start.
🍻 They decided to stop drinking due to its negative impacts on their daily life, which was a difficult but necessary change.
🤝 The speaker found support and a sense of community in sobriety groups and online platforms like Club Soda.
🌐 They now use social media to raise awareness about mental health and connect with others, rather than seeking personal validation.
🚫 The script highlights the dangers of idolizing social media personas and the importance of being authentic and true to oneself.

Q & A

What was the initial reason for the speaker feeling alone and hopeless?
-The speaker felt alone and hopeless due to a lack of friends and feeling unimportant, which was exacerbated by their health issues and the loss of a social circle during recovery from pneumonia and a collapsed lung.
How did the speaker's health condition affect their social life?
-The speaker's health condition, specifically pneumonia and a collapsed lung due to bulimia, led to a period of housebound recovery, during which they lost many friends and felt more isolated.
What platform did the speaker use to cope with their isolation and find a sense of community?
-The speaker used Tumblr to cope with isolation, where they could upload and reblog pictures and content they liked, eventually gaining a substantial following.
How did the speaker's use of Tumblr impact their daily routine and mental state?
-The speaker became increasingly dependent on Tumblr for validation and social interaction, spending up to 12 hours a day on the platform, which further isolated them in the real world.
What was the speaker's attitude towards drinking games and social drinking in their earlier years?
-The speaker took drinking games seriously and felt pressure to conform to social expectations around drinking to fit in and make friends.
How did the speaker's relationship with alcohol evolve over time?
-Initially, the speaker enjoyed social drinking, but as they grew older, they began to experience hangovers and panic attacks, which were exacerbated by alcohol consumption, leading to a decision to stop drinking.
What was the impact of the speaker's video about being bulimic on their online experience?
-The video was reblocked by a popular figure on Tumblr, leading to increased visibility but also to negative and harmful anonymous messages, which deeply affected the speaker.
Why did the speaker decide to move away and delete their Tumblr account?
-The speaker moved away and deleted their Tumblr account to have a fresh start and avoid being known primarily for their online presence, especially after receiving disturbing messages.
How did the speaker's approach to social media change after their decision to stop drinking?
-The speaker began using social media to talk about mental health and support others, shifting the focus from self-promotion to helping others and engaging in meaningful conversations.
What role did the speaker find in the sobriety community, and how did it help them?
-The speaker found a supportive community on Club Soda, which provided a space to connect with others who had made a lifestyle choice to be sober, offering relatability and a sense of belonging.
What advice does the speaker have for young people regarding the use of social media and the potential for idolizing others?
-The speaker advises young people to use social media in a way that works for them, to avoid becoming obsessed with unrealistic portrayals of life, and to be true to themselves by sharing positive messages.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Struggles with Loneliness and Online Validation

The speaker discusses feelings of isolation and hopelessness, exacerbated by health issues such as pneumonia and bulimia, which led to a period of housebound recovery and the loss of friends. To cope, they turned to the internet and Tumblr, where they found a sense of community and validation through increasing followers. However, this online presence led to an unhealthy obsession, spending up to 12 hours a day seeking validation, which only served to deepen their real-world loneliness. The narrative also touches on the pressures of social drinking and the negative impacts of excessive alcohol consumption, including panic attacks and anxiety.

05:00

🍻 Transitioning to Sobriety and Social Media Positivity

The speaker reflects on their decision to stop drinking due to its negative effects on their daily life and identity. They express the sense of loss associated with giving up something they enjoyed but also the loneliness that came with it, as they could no longer participate in the same social activities. They also discuss the shift in their social media usage from seeking personal validation to focusing on mental health advocacy. The speaker finds support in the 'Club Soda' community, which is a group of like-minded individuals who have chosen a sober lifestyle, providing a sense of belonging and relatability among peers. They also caution against the dangers of idolizing social media personas and encourage authenticity and self-acceptance.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Alone

The term 'alone' refers to the state of being solitary or without companionship. In the video, the speaker feels 'alone' and 'hopeless' due to a lack of perceived care from others and the loss of friends, which is a central theme of the video. It is used to convey the emotional isolation experienced by the speaker.

💡Bulimia

Bulimia is an eating disorder characterized by episodes of binge eating followed by purging, which can include self-induced vomiting or excessive exercise. The speaker mentions being 'bulimic' and how it led to health complications like pneumonia and a collapsed lung, highlighting the serious physical and psychological impact of the disorder.

💡Tumblr

Tumblr is a social networking and microblogging platform where users can post multimedia content and follow others. The speaker discusses using Tumblr as a coping mechanism during a period of isolation, gaining a following and spending excessive time on the platform, which became a significant part of their life and a source of validation.

💡Validation

Validation in this context refers to the confirmation or sanction of one's worth or beliefs through the approval of others. The speaker sought validation from the internet due to feeling alone in the real world, demonstrating the role of online platforms in shaping self-worth and identity.

💡Pneumonia

Pneumonia is an infection that inflames the air sacs in one or both lungs, causing coughing, difficulty breathing, and other symptoms. The speaker's pneumonia was severe enough to cause a lung collapse, which is a critical health event that contributed to their feelings of isolation and the need for a lengthy recovery period.

💡Drinking Games

Drinking games are social activities where alcohol is consumed as part of a game or challenge. The speaker mentions taking drinking games 'quite seriously,' which reflects a cultural expectation to drink heavily in social settings and the pressure to conform to such expectations.

💡Panic Attacks

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety that can cause physical symptoms like a rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath. The speaker experienced panic attacks, particularly after hangovers, indicating the psychological distress that can be associated with excessive alcohol consumption.

💡Mental Health

Mental health refers to the state of an individual's psychological and emotional well-being. The speaker discusses their struggles with bulimia and anxiety, and later uses social media to talk about mental health, showing the video's focus on the importance of addressing and discussing mental health issues.

💡Sobriety

Sobriety is the state of not consuming alcohol. The speaker decided to stop drinking for health reasons and to improve their daily life, which reflects a personal choice to adopt a healthier lifestyle and the challenges of adjusting to new social dynamics without alcohol.

💡Club Soda

Club Soda is a community for people who choose to live alcohol-free or are curious about alcohol-free living. The speaker finds support in this group, which is a key part of their journey towards sobriety and a sense of belonging in a community that shares their lifestyle choice.

💡Instagram

Instagram is a photo and video sharing social networking service. The speaker mentions the potential negative impact of Instagram on young people, suggesting that the platform can foster unrealistic expectations and feelings of inadequacy if used to idolize others excessively.

Highlights

The individual felt alone and hopeless, lacking a sense of belonging and care from others.

Suffered from pneumonia due to bulimia, leading to a collapsed lung and a period of intensive care and housebound recovery.

Lost friends during the recovery period and turned to Tumblr for social interaction and validation.

Became successful on Tumblr, gaining a following of 20,000 within months, but at the cost of isolation and increasing dependence on the platform.

Spent up to 12 hours a day on Tumblr, seeking validation from the internet due to a lack of social engagement in the real world.

Engaged in serious drinking games, feeling pressured to conform to social expectations and fearing judgment for not drinking.

Experienced panic attacks and anxiety, possibly exacerbated by the stress of university life and the effects of hangovers.

Created a video about being bulimic, which was reblogged by a popular figure on Tumblr, leading to both support and severe online harassment.

Received disturbing anonymous messages criticizing the bulimia video and encouraging self-harm.

Moved to a new location and deleted Tumblr to start fresh, aiming to avoid the negative aspects of internet fame.

Stopped drinking due to its negative impact on daily life and the desire for a healthier lifestyle.

Felt a sense of loss and loneliness after quitting drinking, as it was a significant part of social identity and activities.

Uses social media now to discuss mental health, shifting the focus from self-promotion to supporting others.

Found the community on Club Soda helpful, appreciating the support and camaraderie among those who choose a sober lifestyle.

Participated in sobriety groups and found value in connecting with peers who understand the challenges of a sober lifestyle.

Advocates for using social media in a way that is beneficial to one's mental health, rather than focusing on self-promotion or comparison.

Encourages authenticity on social media, suggesting that one should share positive messages and build a following based on personal beliefs.