I'm 36. If you're in your 20's, watch this.
Summary
TLDRThe speaker, a 36-year-old man, shares two life lessons he wishes he had learned earlier. First, it's okay to feel behind in life—what matters is taking action and working toward your goals, as happiness comes from progress, not achievement. He recounts his own experiences of overcoming stagnation and social isolation to improve his career and personal life. Second, he cautions against the obsession with achieving wealth or success by a certain age, emphasizing the importance of enjoying life, relationships, and personal fulfillment over external success metrics.
Takeaways
- 😊 It's okay to be behind in life; it's not as bad as it may seem.
- 🎮 The speaker spent years in isolation playing video games and neglecting their well-being, which led to feeling behind.
- 💡 Realizing the need for change is the first step toward improvement, even if it feels overwhelming at first.
- 🏋️♂️ Working toward goals, not just achieving them, brings happiness.
- 💼 With effort and focus, the speaker quickly became successful in areas they thought they were far behind in, like work and social skills.
- ❤️ Confidence and social skills can be developed with practice, even in areas where you feel completely out of your comfort zone.
- 🕰️ Life improves once you decide to make a change, not just after you achieve success.
- 🎶 The speaker references the Iron Maiden song 'Wasted Years' to emphasize living in the present and appreciating progress.
- 💸 Don't obsess over achieving wealth or success by a certain age; focus on what truly makes you happy.
- 👥 Social media and influencers can create unrealistic expectations, leading young people to sacrifice joy and youth for unattainable goals.
Q & A
What is the main lesson the speaker learned from being 'behind in life'?
-The speaker learned that being 'behind in life' is not as bad as it seems. He realized that true happiness doesn't come from achieving goals, but from working towards them. Progress, rather than the final result, is what brings fulfillment.
How did the speaker's life change when he decided to make a change?
-Once the speaker decided to change, he felt happier almost immediately, even before he had fully caught up in life. He found satisfaction in making progress and noticed that he was catching up faster than expected by putting in consistent effort.
What advice does the speaker give to people who feel 'behind' in life?
-The speaker advises not to lose hope. Even if someone feels behind in life, they can catch up relatively quickly with consistent effort. He emphasizes that happiness comes from making the decision to change and working towards goals.
Why does the speaker believe working towards goals brings happiness rather than achieving them?
-The speaker believes that the process of working towards goals creates excitement and motivation. The sense of progress and improvement gives a sense of accomplishment, which leads to happiness even before the goal is achieved.
What was the speaker’s experience with sales, and how did he become successful?
-The speaker got a sales job after being jobless for years and decided to put in more effort than others. By studying the sales script and learning from the best salesman in the office, he quickly became the best salesman himself.
How did becoming a 'pickup artist' help the speaker with social skills?
-Although initially awkward and afraid of rejection, the speaker practiced talking to girls as part of becoming a 'pickup artist.' This helped him overcome his fears, develop social skills, and eventually find a girlfriend, who is now his wife.
What does the speaker say about societal pressure to achieve certain things by a specific age?
-The speaker warns against being obsessed with achieving things like wealth by a certain age. He realized later in life that this pressure made him miss out on things that truly matter, such as spending time with loved ones and enjoying life’s simple pleasures.
What criticism does the speaker offer about influencers like Andrew Tate?
-The speaker criticizes influencers like Andrew Tate for promoting the idea that young men must sacrifice their youth and constantly work to become rich by their 20s. He argues that this mindset is unrealistic for most people and causes them to miss out on meaningful experiences.
What does the speaker suggest to people feeling pressured by social media to succeed?
-The speaker suggests being realistic about goals and not sacrificing youth or happiness for the sake of chasing wealth. He emphasizes the importance of balance, enjoying life, and focusing on what truly matters rather than blindly following social media advice.
What key message does the speaker share from the song 'Wasted Years' by Iron Maiden?
-The speaker draws inspiration from the song 'Wasted Years' by Iron Maiden, which conveys the message that people should stop worrying about past mistakes and realize that they can start living in the 'golden years' by making positive changes in the present.
Outlines
💡 Don't Fear Being Behind in Life
The author reflects on his personal experiences of feeling 'behind in life' during his late teens and early 20s. He shares how his lifestyle—isolated, playing video games, neglecting health, and lacking a job or education—caused him to fall behind in various aspects of life. However, when he made the decision to change and work toward his goals, he realized that happiness came from the process of improvement, not necessarily achieving goals. He emphasizes that progress, rather than the final result, is what brings fulfillment and that it's possible to catch up faster than expected.
🚀 Taking Small Steps to Improve Quickly
The author explains how taking small, consistent actions helped him improve various aspects of his life, like getting a job or talking to girls. He recounts his experience starting in sales, where by putting in just a bit more effort than his peers, he quickly became the top salesperson. Similarly, despite being socially awkward and afraid to talk to girls, he became more skilled in social interactions after practicing and stepping outside his comfort zone. His message: don't lose hope if you're behind, because with effort, you can catch up quickly in life.
🎯 Don't Sacrifice Youth for Unrealistic Expectations
The author addresses the growing pressure on young people to become rich or successful by their 20s, perpetuated by social media influencers. He argues that many people sacrifice their youth—giving up time with friends, fun, and relaxation—based on unrealistic dreams of overnight success. He stresses that most millionaires only achieve success later in life, and that the idea of becoming wealthy in one's 20s is unrealistic for most. The author urges young men to focus on living life and building meaningful experiences instead of chasing unattainable goals pushed by influencers.
🎉 Balance Ambition with Enjoying Life
The author reflects on how he regrets sacrificing parts of his life in the pursuit of success. He highlights the importance of spending time with family and friends, finding work you love, and enjoying simple pleasures like barbecues or playing games with friends. He advises people to be mindful of not missing out on life while chasing goals. The takeaway is to live in the present, enjoy the important moments, and not let societal pressures dictate when you should achieve certain milestones.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Behind in Life
💡Comfort Bubble
💡Catching Up in Life
💡Happiness from Progress
💡Fear of Rejection
💡Pickup Artist
💡Social Isolation
💡Working Harder than Others
💡Misguided Influences
💡Living in the Present
Highlights
Don't be afraid to be behind in life, being behind is not as bad as it seems.
During his late teens and early twenties, the speaker was behind in life, neglecting education, work, and social interactions.
The speaker emphasizes that happiness doesn't come from achieving goals, but from working towards them.
After making a decision to change, the speaker found happiness even before fully catching up in life.
Achieving small milestones, like becoming the best salesman, can come from putting in just a bit more effort than average.
Breaking social barriers, such as learning to talk to girls, came with practice and persistence.
No matter how far behind you are, life can improve quickly once you decide to make a change.
It's crucial to recognize that good things can happen fast if you start working towards your goals.
Don't focus too much on achieving certain things by a specific age; life has many important aspects beyond wealth.
The speaker warns against missing out on life due to the obsession with getting rich before 30.
Social media and influencers can mislead young people into thinking they must sacrifice everything to achieve success early.
Most millionaires don’t achieve their wealth until their 40s or later, after years of experience and failure.
It's unrealistic to expect rapid success for the majority of people, and most should focus on realistic life goals.
True happiness often comes from appreciating relationships and simple joys, not just financial success.
Don’t give up on your youth without solid reason. Enjoy life while working towards your dreams.
Transcripts
I am a 36y old man and here are two
things that I wish that I could have
taught myself when I was younger now
these aren't just any two tips or ways
to get rich faster or whatever but these
are probably the two most important
things that would have actually had like
a
positive influence on my life to
actually make my life better and to make
me happier now the first one is this
don't be afraid to be
behind in life being behind in life is
not as bad as you think that it is so
I've had a pretty large junk in my life
where I was behind uh pretty bad in my
teens I was doing relatively fine but in
my late teens and in my early 20s I had
this phase in my life where I had no job
I didn't even have an education I just
played World of Warcraft all day I ate
junk food all day I neglected myself and
because I isolated myself all the time I
became increasingly socially awkward
because of it I saw my friends less I
was too afraid to talk to girls etc etc
I was pretty much behind in life on like
every possible aspect in life that you
could have been behind now at first I
didn't really care that much because I
guess I was stuck in this uh Comfort
bubble where I just distracted myself
with video games and I also smoked weed
which is like a big thing that traps you
in a comfort bubble
but eventually I got to this point where
I was tired of the life that I was
living and I wanted to make a change and
I sort of started to panic because now
my eyes were open to just how far I was
behind in life right I thought holy [ __ ]
I am so far behind in life I've
literally missed years of my life not
talking to girls not having a job not
having an education neglecting my body
neglecting my health and now I have to
like really catch up on all these years
that I've been missing out
on I'm not sure if I can even do this
right it's going to take me ages
literally years for me to catch up and
even then like I'm not sure if I'm
actually capable of doing this it was
like a super demotivating thing for me
to be so far behind in
life but I noticed that whenever I
actually did make the decision to change
because I did come to a point where I
thought yeah well you know I'm not going
to continue living like this I'm just
going to do everything that I can and
whenever I had made that decision and I
actually started to work towards my
girls I noticed that I actually started
to feel pretty good pretty damn fast
even before I had caught up on life so
even before I had lost the weight and I
had a girlfriend Etc even before then I
started to already feel this hype
towards life where I
actually I became pretty happy I
actually started to feel happy and hyped
on life again and I realized and I've
talked about this before in other videos
I realized one of the most important
lessons I've ever learned in life and
that is that in life it is never
achieving the goals that makes you happy
but it is always working towards your
goals that makes you happy now maybe you
know this maybe you've ever went to the
gym and you've done a new bench press PR
and then you've looked in the mirror and
you look the exact same as you did
before the bench press PR but despite
the fact that you were not at your go
body yet the act of doing a new PR and
seeing yourself progressing towards your
goals consistently that is the thing
that makes you happy right so I came to
a point in my life where I learned this
lesson and I realized that I was
actually pretty damn happy before I had
even caught up on life and to make
things even better I actually started to
catch up on life pretty damn fast as
well so for example I got a job right I
got a sales job now I hadn't had a job
in years from like since high school
until I was like I was 23 24 or
something I did not have a job or an
education at all right I was a loser
that did nothing but play World of
Warcraft all day and neglect myself I
got a sales job and I just made the
decision for myself that I was going to
put in a little bit more effort than the
other sales people I was going to make
more sales goals I was going to to think
more about the psychology of what we say
in the sales script I approached the
best salesman in the office and I asked
him for advice which he was more than
happy to give me because he was like
honored that I considered him like the
best salesman right and within no time I
became the best salesman of the office
which is something that was completely
unimaginable to me before right I had
never had a job I considered myself to
be a loser I was afraid to even get a
job I thought that I had so much
catching up to do but the moment I
actually got a job and I just made the
decision to put in a little bit more
effort than the average person does I
became better than the average person
was same thing happened when it comes to
talking to girls talking to girls were
so far out of my comfort zone I was so
incredibly awkward I did not know what
to say I didn't even have the courage to
say anything to a girl but me and a
friend we decided to become pickup
artists and I know a lot of people are
going to think that this is super
cringey and yes there are a lot of super
cringey pickup artists that you can see
on the internet and I'm pretty sure that
I have said and done a whole bunch of
very cringy things as well in the early
days of my pickup artist career and some
of my friends laughed at me for doing
this but becoming a pickup artist did
sort of help me to break my shell and to
overcome my fear of rejection and it
helped me to learn to talk to girls and
develop some social skills
and eventually actually land a
girlfriend now a wife I'm married I have
a wife and I have children I relatively
quickly became better at talking to
girls than most other guys my age were
and again this is something that was so
completely unimaginable to me before
because I thought I've literally been
missing out on my youth my late teens
and early 20s I had not talked to girls
I just spent my life in isolation
socially awkward not talking to girls at
all but by just making the decision to
put myself out there and actually
practice talking to girls I became
better at talking to girls than the
average guy within relatively no time
and so if you ever feel behind on life
on whatever aspect that is maybe that is
girls maybe that is financial whatever
it is I just want you to know don't lose
hope you can catch up on live relatively
quickly and it's not just that that you
can catch up relatively quickly but it's
also the fact that life doesn't start at
the point once you have caught up but a
good life starts at the point where you
decide to make a change and actually see
yourself working towards your goals no
matter how far you are behind in life no
matter how old you are if you make the
decision to actually make a change and
catch up then you can feel pretty damn
good you can actually feel true
happiness within a relatively short time
from
now there's this Iron Maiden song called
Wasted Years where they sing about this
they sing something like don't waste
your time always searching for those
Wasted Years and then something else and
then realize that you're living in the
golden years you could be living in the
golden years if you choose to live in
the golden years right now so whenever
you get demotivated that you're behind
life just put on that song and realize
what I just told you the second thing
that I wanted to say is don't be
obsessed about the idea that you have to
achieve certain things before a certain
point in life so I've always been
someone that always lived in this idea
that I had to become rich before a
certain age or else then I would have
failed in life right I've always had
this idea that I wanted to become like
rich and Achieve certain things in life
and I didn't even have like a solid plan
yet but I just had this idea in my mind
at some point in the future I'm going to
like start a business and I'm going to
become rich and I'm going to become rich
in my 20s before I hit 30 and if I don't
make that goal then I've sort of kind of
kind of failed at life because you know
that that is me that really important to
me and it sounds really cliche and lame
I know but I've come to a point in my
life now that I'm a little bit older
where I realize realiz that there are
other things in life that are a lot more
important than trying to become rich
are and because I've been so caught up
in this idea that I had to achieve
certain things before a certain age I
realized that I've actually missed out
on a lot of things in life that would
have probably made me a lot happier I
failed to appreciate the things that
were truly important in life and because
that I sort
of missed out on the life that I could
have been living and right now I can see
the exact same thing happening to
countless of young men all around the
world cuz we live in this age of social
media and influences right and we have
people like Andrew Tate I'm not trying
to say that everything that Andrew Tate
says is [ __ ] but we live in an age
where people like Andrew Tate and other
influencers give people the idea that
you somehow have to be be rich in your
20s and that if you don't get rich that
you failed and that you are a loser they
give people the idea that you have to
like give up on your Youth and that you
just have to stop all entertainment and
that you have to be productive all of
the time because if you don't do this
then you're a loser and if you do do it
well then you're a cool entrepreneur
that will become a millionaire in your
20s right I see teenagers literal
teenagers like 15-year-old guys who are
giving up on their youth and they say
things like oh I'm sorry friend I can't
come to your birthday party and have fun
with my friends because didn't you know
that partying is for degenerates H and
that's not me no no no I am not a
degenerate I don't do partying or
entertainment I just work
hard but these same guys who say that
they don't even have a business they
don't even have plans that they work on
instead of going to the party they don't
even know what to do with their lives
they don't even know what to do instead
they're just telling their friends that
they can't go to the party that they
can't have fun with their friends or
they think that they're not allowed to
ever play video games ever again because
some influencer on the internet has told
them that you have to quit doing these
things and that that somehow makes you
cool and that that somehow is going to
make you a millionaire before you hit
the age of 30 they are literally missing
out on living their youth because some
influencer has tricked them into
believing that this is the way to live
your life and that this is what makes
you cool and the truth is that for
99.99 like a lot of 9% of people this is
completely unrealistic advice and these
people will never become rich you know
what you have to understand is that most
self-made millionaires only ever become
a millionaire in like their 40s or 50s
or even 60s right after like doing
business for 30 years and after 30 years
of experience and failure they finally
like
get the opportunities in the network and
the knowledge to actually become a
millionaire right and that's just the
millionaires we're talking about right
most guys will never even become a
millionaire the amount of guys who just
start a business in their 20s and then
end up becoming a millionaire like a few
years later I don't know the exact
statistics but we're talking about like
0.00 a whole lot of 0 1% here it's
completely unrealistic and advice to
sort of give the average guy the idea
that that is the way that he has to live
his life I am not trying to shed
anyone's dreams here okay if you
actually have plans and you actually
have your own business and your own
business actually requires a lot of your
time and requires you to make sacrifices
in your life by all means go for it I'm
not trying to talk you out of it the
world needs people that work hard the
world needs the ELO musks in this world
right but I am saying that please be
real real istic about your goals and
make sure that your goals don't prevent
you from
actually living your life and doing the
things that truly matter in life don't
be one of these guys who sacrifices his
Youth Without Even really knowing what
you're sacrificing your youth for
without even really having like a solid
thing to work
on maybe there will come a point in your
life where you work 80 hours a week and
you make a lot of sacrifices because you
go full hardcore into your business
right maybe that point will come but the
thing is this that if that point will
ever come in your life you will know
when that point will come in your life
that point will probably come when you
already have a business and you're
already working hard on your business
and then eventually you say hey wait a
second my business is really taking off
and it requires a lot of my time maybe I
should make a lot of sacrifices in my
life and stop doing all of these things
and maybe I should work 80 hours a week
on my business and Go full hardcore for
a couple of years to see where this
thing goes okay maybe you are someone
who will ever reach that point but what
I'm saying is this when you reach that
point and most people will never
actually reach that point but when you
reach that point you will know when you
have reached that point
and before you have reached that point
if you don't have a solid reason to give
up on your youth don't give up on your
youth don't sacrifice your life because
some influencers somewhere on the
internet told you that if you party with
your friends or if you play a video game
once that you become a loser and that if
you don't do these things that makes you
cool and that somehow magically turns
you into a millionaire before the age of
30
because life doesn't work that way if
you fall for this trap this way of
thinking you'll end up a 36y old man
like
me who
realizes that you've been missing out on
a lot of things in your life that could
have probably made you a lot happier you
could have spent more time with your
friends and your family you could have
worked a job that you truly loved that
didn't make you as much money but it's
something that you truly loved to do you
could have spent more time just putting
a piece of meat on the barbecue and
smoking it and then eating it with your
friends and your family or even just
enjoying it by yourself you could have
spent more time playing a game with your
friends on Saturday evening so if you
ever feel behind in Life or you feel
like you have certain things to achieve
before you've reached a certain point in
your life
I hope this video gave you something to
think about and gave you a little bit
more perspective on what is truly
important in
life I'll see you guys in the next video
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