7 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner
Summary
TLDRThe video shares seven life lessons the host wishes he had known earlier. These include appreciating the value of mental space, doing difficult things early in the morning, defining constraints then optimizing within them, using 'last man standing' as a strategy for success, avoiding over-optimization at the expense of fun, recognizing 'dream moments', and focusing on enjoying the journey rather than obsessing over destinations.
Takeaways
- π Don't underestimate the value of headspace - make time for it even when busy
- π Wake up early and do the hard/important things first
- π Choose life constraints first, then optimize work around them
- π 'Last Man Standing' can be a successful strategy - persist the longest
- π Don't optimize the fun out of things you enjoy
- π Recognize and appreciate 'dream moments' when they happen
- π₯³ Destinations and achievements rarely bring happiness - enjoy the journey
- π§ Be wary of taking things too seriously - apply lightness instead
- π€ Focus is valuable - prioritize only the most important things
- π Enjoy the process - don't get overfocused on outcomes
Q & A
What is the first life lesson Matt wishes he had known sooner?
-The first life lesson is to not underestimate the value of headspace and free time. Matt found that even when his calendar seemed open, he was still overscheduled, leading to burnout. Having breathing room is valuable.
What routine has Matt found valuable recently?
-Matt has started working out 4 times a week at 7 or 8am. This consistency has increased his energy, productivity, and motivation across all areas of life.
How does James Clear approach work-life balance?
-James Clear focuses on the life he wants first, then optimizes his work schedule around that. This ensures he has time for family while still working on important projects.
What is the 'last man standing' success strategy?
-The idea is that the key to long-term success is simply persisting. As long as you show up consistently, good things will happen over a long enough timeframe.
How can creators avoid burning out?
-Creators should be wary of optimizing the fun out of their work. It's important to balance optimization with enjoyment to ensure sustainability.
What has Matt learned from hitting bestseller status?
-Reaching a goal like bestseller status brought Matt relief, but only momentary happiness. Goals themselves don't provide lasting fulfillment - it's the journey that matters.
How can you appreciate positive moments more?
-When you find yourself living a moment you used to only dream about, take time to appreciate how far you've come and give your past self a virtual high five.
What quote resonated most with Matt?
-The quote 'there is no achievement you could possibly achieve that will make you any happier than you are right now' stood out. Happiness comes from within, not external validation.
Why does Matt now want to 'de-optimize' his podcast?
-Optimizing systems can be helpful initially, but taken too far can ruin enjoyment. Matt wants to get back to the core reasons he loves podcasting.
What's the key takeaway about achieving goals?
-Goals can provide direction, but happiness comes from loving the process, not hitting the outcome. Stay focused on enjoying the journey.
Outlines
π Lesson 1 - The value of headspace
<paragraph1> emphasizes the importance of headspace and not overloading yourself with too many projects and commitments. It talks about Thomas feeling burnt out while marketing his book due to taking up too much mental energy. He realizes there is value in focusing on one thing at a time rather than trying to juggle multiple big goals.
π Lesson 2 - Wake up early to do difficult tasks
<paragraph2> recommends waking up an hour earlier each day to work on tasks you struggle with or avoid, using the example of fitness. Thomas found that consistently working out in the mornings greatly improved his energy, productivity, work output and health.
π Lesson 3 - Define constraints before optimizing work
<paragraph3> advises first deciding the lifestyle and work-life balance you want, then optimizing your work process within those constraints. It refers to James Clear's approach of boxing off the family life he wants then streamlining his work around that.
π Lesson 4 - Last man standing often wins
<paragraph4> puts forward the idea that persisting longer than others is a hugely valuable business and YouTube strategy. As long as you weather ups and downs without quitting, you set yourself up for long-term success.
π Lesson 5 - Don't optimize the fun out
<paragraph5> warns against over-optimization that sucks out the enjoyment of an activity. Thomas optimized his podcast growth too far by morphing conversations and chopping episodes, making it not fun anymore.
π₯³ Lesson 6 - Recognize dream moments
<paragraph6> encourages appreciating and consciously acknowledging when you are living dream moments your past self could only wish for. Thomas did not feel his Good Morning America TV interview due to anxiety.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Headspace
π‘Constraints
π‘Last Man Standing
π‘Fun
π‘Dream Moments
π‘Journey vs. Destination
π‘Play
π‘Balance
π‘Stoicism
π‘Sustainability
Highlights
Don't underestimate the value of headspace
Wake up an hour earlier and do the thing you struggle with
Choose the constraints of your life and optimize within them
Last Man Standing is an ignored success strategy
Be wary of optimizing the fun out of what you're doing
Recognize dream moments when they happen
Destinations don't bring happiness, only the journey does
Headspace takes mental capacity even if not much time
Working out early builds better habits and energy
Define life constraints then optimize work within them
Staying power beats optimization for business success
Over-optimization sucks joy out of things
Appreciate when you're living previous dreams
Goals bring relief, not happiness; enjoy the process
No achievement will make you happier than now
Transcripts
hey friends welcome back to the channel
so over the last 6 months I have learned
a handful of life lessons that I really
wish I'd known earlier and in this video
I want to share them with you so here
are seven life lessons I wish i' known
earlier lesson number one that I wish
I'd known sooner is don't underestimate
the value of headspace I already learned
this over the last 6 months or so uh as
you guys might know I have been writing
a book which is now published it's
called Feelgood productivity and the
last 6 months have been a battle towards
marketing and publicity and trying to
drive pre-orders and trying to get on
all these podcast car so that we can get
sales and stuff and you know it's very
exciting but we did in fact hit the New
York Times and the Sunday Times
bestseller lists and so my own goal for
the book was sort of achieved alongside
my actual goal which was to write a book
I'm proud of I definitely did write a
book that I'm proud of but one thing I
really found was I'd look at my calendar
and I would seem to have time to do
stuff and in that time I was like cool
you know I'm I'm a productivity Beast I
you know like to batch things I like to
schedule things I'd be scheduling all
these things in like trying to film all
these videos and do all these podcasts
and do all this traveling cuz at the
time I was and still am to an extent
like doing some dig noad traveling
around the world stuff but I was really
finding that like wow uh I'm I'm feeling
kind of burned out by this whole thing
and by burned out I mean that I was
feeling a sense of apathy a a sense that
it was all meaningless what was the
point of this stuff anyway and whenever
I have that sort of feeling I know that
that is a sign of burnout because
apparently especially in men burnout
tends to manifest like that whereas in
women on average uh burnout tends to
manifest as this sort of feeling of uh
emotional overwhelm or this feeling of
being drained of energy whereas in men
on average apparently tends to manifest
more it's like this feeling that the
thing that I'm doing is not particularly
meaningful or something anyway so I
started having that feeling and around
that time I did a life update video on
the channel where I was talking about
kind of taking a step back from the
business and only making videos when I
felt like it and not bothering with
sponsorships and things like that and
then December 28th came around and the
book was published and then on the 4th
of January we found out that it hit the
New York Times bestseller list and it
was like this enormous weight had just
been lifted off my head and suddenly I
had all this headspace that was free and
it was weird because you know I knew
that I'd been using up a lot of heads
space in writing the book but I hadn't
realized how much headspace it was
taking thinking about and working on
marketing the book cuz it didn't seem to
be taking that much time it was just
taking a lot of headp space and since
then since like this massive like weight
has has been relieved from my from my
brain I really started feeling more of a
sense of excitement more of a sense of
Joy more of a sense of kind of drive and
ambition to like grow the business and
make more videos and do cool stuff
because now it's not like there's this
like big ass thing that's sort of
Weighing on me and it's just the value
of headspace and I realized that I had
something similar a few years ago I was
running a business and then I sold the
business and the business like running
the business wasn't taking up that much
time but it was taking up a lot of head
space and then as like basically the day
I sold the business um suddenly all that
heads space freed up and I was able to
suddenly devote more time and attention
to Growing the YouTube channel and
growing the business around it and at
various other points in my life I've
I've learned this lesson that there's
value in a headp space and I I I just
keep on forgetting that this is an
important lesson I keep on just taking
on more projects and more things and I
keep on thinking like well you know like
right now I only really have one primary
goal for the business which is to do
this thing that we're calling
productivity lab there's a waiting list
down below if you want to check it out
it's like a productivity Community type
thing but I don't really have any other
major goals for the business and the
Temptation is there to keep adding those
goals in to really ram my calendar full
of stuff to ram my brain full of stuff
to feel as if I'm making progress but
something that I've really learned over
time is the value of focusing on just
one thing at a time and it's Al it's
totally okay to have head space it's
totally okay to leave breathing room in
your life for a focusing on that one
thing B having a balanced life c not
burning out for being able to take
breaks and stuff and with this whole
like productivity Guru kind of energy
that I've got going on a lot of the time
I'm always like yeah but I really want
to do this and this and this and this
and all these things are exciting and I
want to do them but a lesson I need to
keep reminding myself of is that no
headp space is valuable it's okay to not
fill your calendar with just all the
things I won't be like a failure or a
commercial failure or like an economic
failure or something by just not filling
my calendar with all the instead
there is value in heads space and
there's value in focus and there's value
in just focusing on one thing at a time
rather than trying to do eight things in
parallel this is really a lesson that I
wish hadd learn a lot earlier and there
is a quote that sort of encapsulates
this to an extent which is that you can
have anything you want but not
everything you want and I think think in
life and in work you know if you watch
this channel you are probably ambitious
and somewhat entrepreneurial and
probably very good-looking uh for people
like us we have this desire to take on
too much because it's like fun and
seems cool and we want to get ahead and
stuff there is incredible value in Focus
incredible value in prioritizing the
headspace and not just filling our
calendar and our minds with the projects
that we want to work on all right now
speaking of headspace and this is a
total coincidence this video actually
happens to be sponsored by headspace
headspace is an absolutely amazing
meditation app that can help you build a
daily meditation practice which is a
fantastic thing of getting some more
headp space in your life and I've
personally been working my way through
the introductory course to try and build
meditation into a habit in my life as
well they've got different voices that
you can use to guide you through the
meditations and my personal favorite
time of doing meditations is actually
just before bed has a great way of
winding down kind of unloading the
stress of the day so that I can have a
more calm sleep very excitingly as well
as part of the launch for my book feel
good productivity I have collaborated
with headspace and there is now a
Feelgood productivity collection on the
app itself which can help you on the
path to building healthy habits to boost
your productivity and efficiency but in
a way that's actually enjoyable and
meaningful and sustainable some of my
favorite bits in this collection are all
about the value of play play is the
first chapter of my book it talks about
how play is the most underrated
productivity technique out there and as
part of the headspace collection there
are a few like lectures and videos kind
of explaining this concept around how
actually approaching your work with
lightness and ease more in the spirit of
play rather than in the spirit of work
can actually help you maximize your
creativity and your productivity but in
a way that reduces stress and reduces
the chances of burnout if you want to
see how headspace might be helpful for
you and check out the Feelgood
productivity collection you can try it
out completely for free for 60 days all
you have to do is sign up with my link
in the video description or scan the QR
code that is on screen right now and
that will give you a totally free 60-day
trial so thank you so much to headspace
for sponsoring the video and let's get
back to it all right now we come to
lesson number two which is what I really
wish I'd known earlier is it is a very
good thing to wake up an hour earlier
and do the thing that you find hard or
do the thing that you struggle with now
I have long struggled to make working
out regularly a habit you know I've been
working with a Fitness coach called Dan
go he's amazing YouTube channel link
down below if you want to check it out
and Dan has constantly been saying to me
you know it seems like you're not
getting these workouts in have you
considered doing them in the mornings
and I was always like no Dan like the
mornings are my Creative Energy and like
you know I I really like having a
leisurely start to the morning and being
able to faf around and being able to
have three cups of coffee and then go to
the toilet twice and then do some
reading and then like get to work I was
like okay man but one thing I'm telling
you like you know anytime I coach
someone who struggles to work out I
recommend doing it in the morning and it
works so when in in January when I ran
my annual planning session for 12,000
people who attended um one of the goals
I set for myself for the year in health
was to get into the best shape of my
life and I realized that in order to do
that I needed to work out more
consistently and so I thought you know
what I'm going to take Dan's advice and
I'm going to do it in the mornings I was
also very inspired by my friend s Bloom
who has a YouTube channel that he's just
started where he does a cold plunge
literally at 4:00 every single morning
it's just freaking absurd but just
seeing him also seeing like videos of
him like dunking in this like cold tub
and then going for a run for like you
know a slow run for like 12 mil and then
doing a high-intensity training session
all before 7:00 a.m. I was like wo okay
hm this is what it looks like and so I
decided to start working out in the
mornings and four times a week for the
last 5 weeks I have worked out in the
mornings either at 8:00 a.m. or at 7:00
a.m. with a personal trainer at my local
gym and it has been absolutely
gamechanging I have never been so
consistent with working out I have never
felt more energized I've never felt more
productive I've never been more
productive in terms of my business I've
filmed more YouTube videos in the last
like 3 weeks than I have in the last
like 4 months and there is profound
value in kind of as Brian Tracy says
eating that frog first thing in the
morning this seems obvious this is the
advice that everyone says just you know
do the hot thing in the morning like
wake up a little bit earlier go to sleep
a little bit earlier and like do the
thing you struggle with but it's advice
that I really have not taken up until
now and now I'm like oh damn I really
wish I'd known this advice earlier I've
always struggled working out I could
have just done it in the morning and it
sort of depends on what the thing is
that you're struggling with I think you
know back in the day if I had a real job
and was really struggling to make videos
consistently or work on my business
consistently I should have woken up I
would have woken up an hour earlier to
do that stuff do the hard thing in the
morning the thing that you wouldn't
otherwise do it's just been absolutely
transformative for my energy levels and
for my health and I'm getting more Hench
and it's like like all the good things
are happening and also the nice thing
about wake having to wake up at 7:30 to
then go to the gym or like 6:30 on some
days to go to the gym is that it then
kind of forces me to sleep earlier as
well cuz I know that oh you know I want
to get at least 8 hours of sleep cuz I
want to I don't want to find I I don't
want to have a grim workout the next day
and so what this means is that when it
gets to like 9:00 p.m. I'm like all
right cool I should really think about
winding down if I'm out at dinner with
friends I'll look at my watch be like
okay cool I should ready leave here by
like 9:45 to take the train home to get
there on time and if I'm at home then it
means that I'll just be less likely to
faf around on my phone and on the
computer watching random Youtube videos
cuz I know that I want to get to sleep
and I know I want 8 hours of sleep and
so like again people have figured this
out that if you sleep early and wake up
early you can just be very productive in
the mornings but for some reason to date
I have not taken that advice and it's
just been absolutely game changing over
the last like four or five weeks all
right lesson number three that I wish
I'd known earlier is to choose the
constraints of your life and then
optimize your work within those
constraints so what do I mean by this
basically this is from a conversation I
had with James CLA the author of atomic
habits who very kindly hopped on a Zoom
call with me a few months ago to give me
advice on like book marketing and stuff
super nice of him great guy and I asked
him hey James man you know why aren't
you launching the atomic habits Academy
or like this online course you could be
making more money with this and this and
you know this like why why aren't you
doing it and what James clar said was
what I've realized is that the thing
that works for me is to draw a box
around the life that I want and then
optimize my work within that box so he's
got kids so for him the box is I want to
drop the kids off to school in the
morning at like 10:00 I want to pick
them up from school at like I don't know
2:30 and I want to be there for the kids
and be like a really present dad which
is amazing and so he's like within those
4 hours I'm like cool let's let's work
on the thing that's most important which
is right now his next book very exciting
and outside of that he does like one or
two speaking gigs every month and that
just makes a load of money as well and
he could do more but if he did more it
would take him away from his family so
that's not the point like you know James
Clear obviously ridiculously successful
author multi- decamillionaire from all
the copies of atomic habits that he sold
he also knows other authors who are very
rich and very famous and I ask like what
is the thing that the happy ones have in
common right because we often hear about
people or meet people who are very
successful but who are not happy and so
it's like the goal really is to be
financially successful and also really
happy and he said that the ones who are
happiest are the ones who draw the
constraints around the life they have on
around the life they want and optimize
their work within that and I think
that's great because so far what I've
done a lot in my life is for my life to
be subordinate to my work and to not
really care about like work life balance
and to not really care about I don't
know spending time with friends and
things I think I'm pretty good at
spending time with my friends but like
even just having head space to the
previous Point even just having the
space to have a chill evening by myself
so that I can sort my life out and do
the LA and do the admin like I ram my
schedule full of so much stuff mostly
either social related or more likely
work related that I don't have time for
those things and they can lead to life
feeling quite frantic and stressful at
times and I think that was a method of
operation that was good at an earlier
stage of my life when I was hustling to
try and get the business off the ground
while working a full-time job and all
that kind of stuff I think it's totally
okay to have like strategic imbalance in
certain seasons of life but now I'm in a
season of life where I really recognize
that there is no further happiness to be
gained from more work rated achievements
and in fact the happiness and meaning in
life will come from the more life
Associated I guess achievements but like
processes spending time with friends
family getting married having kids all
that kind of stuff the stuff that David
Brooks would call the second Mountain
rather than the first mountain of
material success so I wouldn't quite say
it's a lesson I wish I'd known earlier
cuz I sort of had this idea that like
you know it's okay to not be so work
life balancy when I'm like 24 and
hustling to get my YouTube channel off
the ground but it is something that I
want to take a lot more seriously moving
forward defining the constraints I would
like to operate within and then
optimizing my work around that and I
found myself giving this advice to a lot
of entrepreneurs now who want to build
lifestyle businesses lifestyle business
being a business that supports your life
rather than the other way around and I
find myself asking you know what's the
goal and what are the constraints
because the problem with
entrepreneurship is that you can find
yourself just working all the time and
feeling really guilty if you're not
working all the time and then burning
yourself out because you're not working
all the time and you go to bed thinking
I should have done more and you you're
on the weekends hustling away because
you think I should have done more and if
you love that and if you're building a
life you love and you you genuinely
filled with energy every minute of the
day great you do you but I speak to a
lot of entrepreneurs especially creators
who are are doing that and who are
really burnt out and who are on the
verge of quitting their businesses or
quitting their YouTube channels because
they're so burned out by this approach
and the advice I found myself giving is
around really defining these constraints
like how many hours per week would you
actually like to work what would you
like your hours of work to be how many
holidays would you like to take because
if you're struggling with burnout then
generally burnout is a mismatch between
the demands of a job or the thing you're
doing and the resources you have
available for the thing whether it's
time or energy or like people whatever
and a huge thing around this whole
Creator burnout stuff is just the fact
that it's it's it's unconstrained you
could be thinking about your YouTube
channel and your business like every
single waking hour of the day and even
when you're asleep and that's just a
complete recipe for Burnout whereas
being able to define the constraints to
know that no I actually only want to
work 30 hours a week or 40 hours a week
or 20 hours a week like defining that
constraint actually forces you to
prioritize it forces you to only do
things that are actually going to move
the needle whereas what a lot of
creators do and certainly what I did
when I first became a full-time YouTuber
is you spend a lot of time doing
that does not need to be done because
you have not defined the constraints
it's Parkinson's law and action work
expands to fill the time we allocate to
it and if we allocate like 100% of our
time to work work because we haven't
thought about the constraints we'll end
up faffing around and doing Pointless
Stuff in that time whereas you know a
thought experiment that I really like is
if you were only allowed to spend 2
hours a week doing your business or
doing your job what would you do in
those two hours and that gives you a
pretty good sense of what are the most
inle moving things and the question is
well why aren't you spending 10 hours
just doing those things that you would
do in those two hours for example
generally those sorts of questions at
least for me and the people that I kind
of Coach casually about this stuff tend
to lead to breakthroughs in their
business and their life by the way um
one thing that I love to do is to
collect journaling prompts journaling
has been the single well one of the
single most gamechanging things in my
life in terms of just leveling up my
entire business and my my personal life
as well and there is a link down below
to my completely free journaling Hub
where anytime I collect an interesting
journaling prompt it just goes into that
it's an ocean page uh that you can just
check out that has a bunch of like
prompts and things and templates and
stuff it's completely free link down
below if you enjoy journaling as much as
I do all right lesson number four that I
wish I'd known sooner cuz it would have
saved me a lot of heartache and headache
is that the success strategy that
everyone ignores is Last Man Standing
Last Man Standing is a totally viable
strategy now I actually picked this up
very recently um last week I had lunch
with a chap called Anor waraku who is an
Indian YouTuber entrepreneur Creator
author he's super cool he's like in his
40s he's run a bunch of companies before
sold a bunch of businesses used to be a
CEO of like a company managing hundreds
of employees so he's like a professional
business person like a CEO who has then
become a Creator and we had like a three
and a half hour long long lunch where I
took so many notes in my little pocket
notebook where I was just asking him
loads of questions around how he
approaches his like YouTube channel and
his media business as a business rather
than as a creator of swords and one of
the things that he said really stuck
with me which is that you know in his
like 20 plus years of running businesses
what he's seen is that the last man
standing is often the winner you know in
a business the only reason a business
fails is if the founders quit the only
reason a YouTube channel fails is if the
Creator quits Peter teal often like has
this phrase which is something like by
far the majority of the value of a
business is generated 10 plus years
after the business was first founded 10
plus years and so you know startups and
businesses and stuff are often
optimizing for growth when actually they
probably should be optimizing for
durability and sustainability because if
you can be the last man standing you are
way more likely to win by whatever
metrics you deem meaningful in terms of
Victory and I wish I'd known this sooner
I always had a sense of this when I
started my YouTube channel 7 years ago I
knew that I needed to do it for at least
2 years and I knew that interesting
things would happen but I didn't know
what those things would be I knew look I
just need to make one or two videos a
week and I'm sure something good will
happen but throughout that journey and
even like in the last seven years I've
often had periods of like uncertainty
periods of Doubt periods of anxiety like
oh our videos are doing badly this month
what if the channel dies and all this
sort of stuff and what I really wish is
just having someone with experience
who's older than me just telling me bro
the only thing that will make you fail
is if you quit just keep on going like
you burning out and quitting is by far
the biggest risk to the business don't
worry about it the channel will have ups
and downs the growth and the money will
have ups and downs as long as you can
weather the ups and downs and just keep
going you will end up in a really really
really freaking cool place and it's a
lesson that again I wish I could tell to
a lot of other creators cuz a lot of
creat need to hear it a lot of
entrepreneurs need to hear it it's so
easy to get fixated on the ups and downs
of the algorithm and like what's
happening right now and what's happening
this week I find myself thinking that
when I look at our kind of internal
company scorecard with like the numbers
and the metrics and stuff and I'm like
oh no like our LinkedIn reach has gone
down this week what are we going to
do and then I give myself a bit of
perspective I'm like who cares it's just
a week we're planning to do this for the
next 30 Years who gives a about the
performance of like a piece of content
in a given week the goal is to keep on
playing the game and by just keeping on
going that is the thing that's going to
make you successful however you deem
success and it relates to this idea
around finite and infinite games which
I've talked about before on the channel
and that you you may be familiar with
certain games are finite games certain
games are infinite games a finite game
is a game that's played to be one with a
clear score and a clear Like rules
Victory but an infinite game is a game
where the objective is to continue
playing the game and so for me for my
YouTube channel and for this business
and for writing books and everything the
goal is durability the goal is to just
be the last man standing and not in a
sense of like gladiatorial competition
because I also don't think of
competitors as like competition or
anything like that you know one thing
that an said over the lunch he was like
you know during the pandemic especially
people on podcast and stuff were asking
him hey man like how do you feel about
all these people starting YouTube
channels and starting businesses and
starting Instagram accounts and trying
to compete with you he was like don't
really care 99% of them are going to
quit before they see any real traction
and and for the ones that don't like I
actually don't care what the competitors
are doing my job is to run my own race
and to just keep showing up and I'm
planning to do that forever and I think
that's such a nice strategy Last Man
Standing my job is to simply just show
up and do this forever and as long as
I'm doing it forever good things will
keep continuing to happen and I don't
need to stress so much about what's
happening day by day what's happening
week by week what's happening month by
month or even what's happening on an
annual basis relates to something that
Morgan hle talks about in the psychology
of money great book we've got a video
about it linked up there or over here
which is that the way you become rich in
the world of like investing is by just
being in the game for longer than
everyone else like Warren Buffett has
been investing since the age of 13 he's
now like 95 he's been doing it for 80
years and 99% of his money has come in
the last like 10 years or something
absurd like that there is incredible
value in just being in the game for a
very long time and so this is why they
say that the first rule of investing is
don't lose money and the second rule of
investing is C rule number one because
is losing money and your bank balance
going to zero and your Investments going
to zero is going to take you out of the
game you can no longer play the game
which is why things like crypto and
stuff putting all your money in crypto
is probably a bad idea cuz it's kind of
high risk but as long as you can stay in
the game for a sufficiently long period
of time that is when you experience all
the comprehend and growth that's when
everything becomes successful so last
man standing is the success strategy
that everyone ignores all right life
lesson number five that I wish had known
sooner is be wary of optimizing the fun
out of the game that you're playing you
know I got this from one of these like
video game review YouTube channels I
can't remember which one and they do
like long video essay about games like
Elden ring and Skyrim and like World of
Warcraft and just like video essays
exploring the world of video games I
don't play very many video games but I
do enjoy the world so I watch a lot of
videos about video games weirdly and
this Creator said a quote from a game
designer and the quote was something to
the effect of left unchecked players
will optimize the fun out of the game
they're playing Left unchecked players
will optimize the fun out of the game
they're playing I loved that quote and
it really resonated with me firstly on a
video game perspective because I used to
play World of Warcraft back in the day
and I did optimize the fun out of it I
was doing a lot of grinding a lot of
like min-maxing to get my character My
Level 80 warlock up to a like sufficient
standard to be able to take down the
freaking Lich King and stuff and it was
fun but I'm not sure how how fun it
really was it's like doing the grinding
and doing sort of the same Quest again
and again and again just to get a very
slightly different gear upgrade so that
you've got slightly more damage per
second like in a way that's at risk of
optimizing the fun out of the game and
so a lot of video game designers have to
be really mindful to not allow Gamers to
optimize the fun out of the game they're
playing because they just will and I
think this applies to all of us
ambitious type people you know even
though I love I I love productivity and
optimization and stuff there's always a
risk that you can optimize too far and
you optimize to the point that the thing
no longer is fun and I really noticed
this with my podcast so I've been
running a podcast for the last two and a
half years it's called Deep dive there's
a link down below if you want to check
it out and the Channel's been doing
really well the podcast's been doing
really well like every month we keep on
hitting new viewer records and
everything and I realized over the last
few months that I'd actually optimized
the fun out of it uh because initially
the podcast started off as a hobby where
I was like oh I just want to interview
cool people and have conversations with
them and slowly we started optimizing
more and more and more and slowly we
started to kind of research guest that
in detail ahead of time like book guests
based on who's got a new book book
guests based on who would get lots of
views I would be morphing the
conversation to the one that I thought
the audience wanted to hear rather than
the conversation I wanted to have we'd
be like chopping things around just for
retention and all of these things are
very sensible things to do if you want
to grow a podcast but in my case they
optimized the fun out of it and then I
just didn't want to do the podcast
anymore so you know I made a whole video
about this on the podcast Channel what
I've decided to do with the podcast is
to sort of dial down the optimization
dial and deliberately de optimize the
podcast I still have a podcast I still
want to do interviews but I don't want
to do them on my own terms I don't
really care about making money from them
I don't really care about having
sponsors that like require deadlines I
don't really care about having an upload
schedule in that era of my life in
business the podcast decided to actively
de optimize and so it's a lesson that I
I do wish I'd known earlier I wish I'd
kept more of a check on like for
everything that I'm doing just making
sure that I'm not at risk of optimizing
the fun out of it you know if I wanted
to grow this YouTube channel I would
probably script every video word for
word right because IR retention because
like valuing the audience's time and
stuff and I probably spend 18 hours
writing a script like some of my
YouTuber friends do or 50 hours or 70
hours and that would be more optimal but
I've tried it and it's not fun it might
be fun for some YouTubers but it's not
fun for me to write a word for word
script and then read it off a
teleprompter I much prefer to have a few
bullet points and then speak from the
heart because it's more fun it's less
optimal but it's more fun similarly you
know when I was at University studying
with friends around me was less optimal
because I'm get getting a little bit
distracted but it was more fun way more
fun than working in my room on my own
and so it's a lesson that I keep coming
back to be wary of optimizing the fun
out of what you're doing there is a
certain level of optimization that is
like good and beyond that if the thing
becomes not fun you are far more likely
to burn out and just not and just quit
at the thing which is directly in a
contradiction to our previous point
which is that last man standing is a
viable strategy you can't be the last
man standing if you're not having fun
you cannot do something consistently for
long enough if you're not having fun
with it if you don't enjoy making
YouTube videos you are not going to be a
YouTuber for long enough to see it
succeed if you don't enjoy running your
business if you don't enjoy your job
you're not going to be able to stick at
the thing long enough to see any
meaningful results which is why be very
wary of optimizing the fun out of the
thing that you're doing lesson number
six is to recognize dream moments when
they arise so a dream moment is a moment
that your previous self that our
previous self would have dreamed about
and and now we're living that moment and
I really noticed this when I was doing
promo for my book um I think on early in
January I happened to be interviewed on
Good Morning America uh which is a
massive TV show in the US and it was
like a 3 minute long interview but like
throughout the whole interview I just
found myself like in my head and being
super anxious and trying to plan out
what I was saying and what I was saying
and then the guy George Stephanopoulos
like threw me a question I wasn't
prepared for and I was like oh like
I'm just in my head for the whole thing
and it was only in the taxi on the way
home on the way back to the hotel and I
realized I didn't really experience the
experience of being interviewed on
national TV I didn't really feel the
experience cuz I was I was in my head
the whole time I had failed to recognize
that this is a moment that my previous
self would have dreamed about like the
thought of being on national TV talking
about a book that I've written like what
the hell like that's wow that's so cool
but in the moment I didn't think oh my
God this is so cool I need to enjoy it I
was just in my head I was just trying to
optimize I was just trying to focus on
like making sure I didn't say the wrong
things and didn't come across like an
idiot and all that jazz and it's really
it's really got me thinking like how
many other moments are there in the day
where we're doing a thing that a
previous version of us would have only
dreamed about doing um anytime I get
into my Tesla Model 3 I remind myself
these days that this actually is my
dream car I bought it in 2020 thanks to
making money from my YouTube channel
thank you guys um and this is my dream
car that's really cool and I just spend
like four or 5 Seconds when I sit in the
seat that has been preheated just like
reminding myself of
that anytime I fly business class these
days I go on the plane I turn left
rather than right and I'm like hm nice
high five passed me we made it we you
know we smashed it we're here we're
flying business class we never would
have imagined this would be possible but
here we are doing this thing but then
also I've started noticing what are the
dream moments outside of like
materialistic desires like a Tesla and a
business class flight what are the
moments where I'm am connecting with an
entrepreneur or an author who I've
really admired and I'm having lunch with
them and I'm like that's super cool
like I never would have thought that I'd
ever be having lunch with Dereck cers or
with Ryan holiday or with like Noah
Kagan or people like that that's super
cool when I have meetings with my team
or like a team social where you know I
see sort of VI to 15 people who I've
hired and been able to convince to join
me on this adventure who are literally
giving their best years to helping me
grow my business and help helping our
students and our customers have an
amazing time in our YouTuber Academy and
helping me with my YouTube channel how
cool is that like it's such a struggle
to recognize these moments when they're
there because it's so easy to be fixated
on like the next thing and the next goal
and like oh what's the next thing on the
calendar what's the next thing I'm
working towards and to sort of forget
that actually if you had told me a few
years ago that I'd end up with a team of
like 15 people who I really Vibe with
and who are amazing and who's just
hanging out with is really fun and we're
all working together on the business and
they're doing the stuff that I don't
like doing so that 100% of what I'm
doing is the stuff that I really enjoy
how freaking cool is that that's sick I
just I just don't remind myself of that
often enough when it's happening I was
giving a talk at Cambridge a few weeks
ago and I was saying this to the
students that like you know right now
you're all sitting here as medical
students at Cambridge University this is
a dream moment for you you are literally
living the dream like your previous self
would have only dreamed about being a
medical student at Cambridge University
so it's worth in the midst of your all
the exams and all the stress and all the
angst and all the complaining worth
taking a few seconds to just remember
hang on I'm living my dream life right
now I'm literally living the dream my
previous self would have only dreamed
about this moment and here I am living
it let's take a few seconds to
appreciate it let's give a virtual high
five to our previous self and let's not
forget to enjoy the moment by taking it
too seriously and the final lesson that
I keep on needing to remind myself of
again that I wish i' known earlier is
that destinations do not bring any
happiness only the journey does and I
really had this feeling like profoundly
when I got the call from my editor
saying that we had hit the New York
Times bestseller list for my book
Feelgood productivity link down below if
you want to check it out um we hit the
New York Times list and this was a goal
I've been working towards for like years
as soon as I started writing the book in
2020 in the back of my mind was the idea
oh it' be really cool to hit the New
York Times best seller list I try not to
think about it too hard because I knew
was goal outside of my control and y ya
but it was definitely a goal that I had
and I spoke to Mark Manson and Ryan
holiday who are both very successful
authors about this and they were like
yeah you you know it's your first book
you're going to have it as a goal and
then maybe you'll hit the list maybe you
won't but when you do hit the list
you'll realize it's like broadly
meaningless and so I was prepared for
this and so I was very intrigued I was
like if we don't hit the list it'll be a
good exercise in stoicism and if we do
hit the list it'll be interesting to see
how happy I feel and I got the call
saying we'd hit the you know I was a New
York Times bestselling author which I
can now put on my Instagram bio for the
rest of my life and all I felt was just
a wave of relief a wave of relief that
like thank God for that like the hard
work that we put in is paid off all the
money and time we spent in marketing is
paid off nice and that relief lasted
maybe a couple of hours and then I had
dinner with some friends and kind of
forgot about it and everyone's been
saying oh you know you should celebrate
the wins and stuff I like yeah cool yeah
I'm I'm all for celebrating the wins but
it really has not made me any happier
it's not really changed anything about
my life it's just like it's a arbitrary
goal that I was working towards that I
hit and I'm just like right cool that's
fine and I think especially earlier on
in my entrepreneur career and especially
when I was at University as well trying
to build a business for the first time I
had B into the arrival fallacy this is a
psychological construct that's like when
we arrive in a particular destination
that then things will be different that
then we will be happy and it's a fallacy
because it's just not true like you know
anytime we accomplish something that
we've been working towards the joy of
that moment lasts a heartbeat compared
to the journey that it took to get there
and so it's cliche but like the journey
really is the destination um happiness
and meaning is found in the Journey of
doing the thing rather than in achieving
the thing and there was another quote
that a friend of mine said I don't know
where he got it from but he basically
said that there is no achievement you
could possibly achieve that will make
you any happier than you are right now
and it's so true I find myself saying it
to other people as well like there is no
achievement you could possibly achieve
that would make you any happier than you
are right now probably I think that's
nice it's reassuring it means that we
can be less attached Less fixated on the
outcomes I know it's useful to set goals
cuz then we have a direction in mind but
at the same time to be unattached from
that outcome and to focus on enjoying
the journey and again it speaks to that
point around dream moments speaks to
that point around Last Man Standing if
you can find a way to enjoy the journey
then you can work towards ambitious
goals for sure but you won't be
disappointed when you hit the goal
because you know that hitting the goal
is not going to actually lead to any
happiness you know that all of the
happiness is found in the journey it's a
lesson that actually my editor and agent
had to remind me of many times in the
process of writing my book CU many times
during that process I started to Veer
towards taking it too seriously
seriously with a capital S putting too
much importance with a capital I on it
thinking oh my God this needs to be
really good if it's not really good
people are going to review it badly and
oh my God it's going to be terrible and
then all that kind of stuff the tendency
we have to spiral into these negative
thought patterns and sometimes my editor
or my agent would say you know OE isn't
one of the tactics in the in the book to
be sincere rather than serious do you
think you're at risk of taking this too
seriously and I'd be like yeah you're
right I am at risk of taking this too
seriously let me just dial down the
seriousness let me dial down the
importance and we can always choose to
do that you know making videos feels
like a serious thing oh my God like
potentially lots of people could see
this video but it's not that serious at
the end of the day who cares lightness
and ease there's never anything to worry
about because everything will work out
fine it's the journey that matters not
the destination find a way to enjoy the
process all of that fun stuff having
said that of course there is no Journey
without a destination and one major
issue a lot of people have is the sense
of feeling lost and feeling
directionless and feeling like you don't
really know what you're doing because
you're in a bit of a transitionary stage
in your life if you are in that position
at all then you're going to absolutely
love my three-part video series which is
over there around why you feel lost in
life and what to do about it I've had so
many comments from people saying that
that video Series has just changed their
approach to life so if you go through it
and do the exercises I think you I hope
you'll get some value out of it so check
out that series over there so thank you
very much for watching and see you later
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