What do we say to someone who's dying?

Summary

The speaker shares a poignant hospice admission experience with a cold, dying woman. Despite an initial awkward silence, they allow space for processing, leading to a profound moment of connection. When asked if she will see God after death, the speaker honestly admits uncertainty, sparking laughter and a shared moment of truth and comfort in the unknown.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The importance of not always needing to say something to people who are dying.
• 🏠 A personal encounter with a patient at her home, where the nurse initially felt a cold reception.
• 🌟 The nurse's internal struggle with the desire to be liked and the need to people please.
• 🧠 Acknowledging the urge to make things better but knowing when to hold back.
• 🗣️ The nurse's approach to educate about hospice and ask if the patient had any questions.
• 🔇 Learning to sit in uncomfortable silence to allow the patient to process information.
• 🛋️ The patient's body language change indicating a shift in comfort level.
• 🙏 A profound question about the afterlife from a lifelong Christian patient.
• 🤝 The nurse's decision to tell the truth about not knowing what happens after death.
• 😂 Shared laughter and the connection made through the acceptance of uncertainty.
• 💔 The emotional impact of truth and the beauty of a moment shared in the face of the unknown.

Q & A

What was the initial interaction like between the speaker and the patient?

The initial interaction was cold and not warm and fuzzy. The patient was not very receptive, which made the speaker feel the need to be liked.

What was the speaker's approach to dealing with the patient's cold demeanor?

The speaker chose to meet the patient where she was at, without trying to force a connection or make things better, and simply educated her about hospice care.

What did the speaker do when the patient was silent after the explanation?

The speaker sat in silence with the patient, allowing uncomfortable silence to exist, which can sometimes be the best way to let a person process information.

How did the patient's demeanor change after the initial silence?

The patient warmed up a bit, started putting her feet up on the couch, and made herself more comfortable, indicating a slight shift in her attitude.

What was the patient's question that led to a deeper conversation?

The patient asked if she would see God after she died, showing a mix of faith and uncertainty about what happens after death.

How did the speaker respond to the patient's existential question?

The speaker chose to be honest and said 'I don't know,' which was a truthful and humble response to a question that cannot be definitively answered.

What was the emotional outcome of the speaker's honest response?

Both the speaker and the patient laughed, creating a connection and a moment of shared humanity in the face of the unknown.

Why did the speaker feel that allowing silence was important?

Allowing silence gave the patient space to process the information and emotions, which can be a crucial part of the conversation when discussing end-of-life care.

What does the speaker mean by 'the truth will set you free' in this context?

The speaker refers to the liberating effect of acknowledging the unknowns about death and what comes after, even if it's scary.

How did the speaker feel after the interaction with the patient?

The speaker felt grateful for the shared moment of truth and the connection that was made, despite the heaviness of the topic.

What lesson does the speaker convey about dealing with people who are dying?

The speaker conveys that it's not always necessary to have the right words; sometimes, being present, allowing silence, and being honest about what you don't know can be the most comforting approach.