What Happens As We Die? | Kathryn Mannix | TED

Summary

This reflective monologue explores the loss of wisdom surrounding death and dying, contrasting past familial understanding with the clinical approach of modern medicine. The speaker, a hospice doctor, shares a life-changing experience with a dying patient who overcame existential fear by learning the natural stages of death. The speaker advocates for a cultural shift, urging society to reclaim the understanding of dying as a personal, social, and deeply human process, rather than a medical failure. By doing so, we can alleviate fear and provide comfort during the final stages of life.

Takeaways

• 😀 Human beings are the only animals who contemplate their mortality, and this has been happening for thousands of years.
• 😀 In the past, people were familiar with the natural process of dying, especially through women’s roles in caring for the dying at home, but this wisdom has been largely lost in recent generations.
• 😀 Medical progress over the 20th century revolutionized healthcare, allowing hospitals to save many lives, but it also distanced people from understanding the process of dying.
• 😀 The shift from home care to hospital care for the dying caused society to lose its ownership of the dying process, leaving it in the hands of healthcare professionals.
• 😀 The speaker, trained as a doctor, initially focused on preventing death but later realized that understanding the emotional and symptom management aspects of dying was more fulfilling.
• 😀 A conversation with a dying patient, Sabine, and her fears of dying in agony due to her religious beliefs, deeply impacted the speaker’s perspective on death and dying.
• 😀 The speaker’s boss, an experienced palliative care doctor, explains the typical process of dying, which involves stages of tiredness, unconsciousness, and reflex breathing, helping to alleviate Sabine’s existential distress.
• 😀 The description of dying helps people facing death understand what is happening to their bodies, dispelling fears and misconceptions about pain and suffering during the final moments.
• 😀 The experience led the speaker to realize that the process of dying is predictable and can be explained in stages, similar to the process of birth, and can be understood and described to those who are dying.
• 😀 The speaker advocates for reclaiming the wisdom of dying as a shared, social, and deeply personal event, rather than leaving it solely to medical professionals or palliative care workers.
• 😀 The need for societal engagement in the dying process is urgent, and everyone should step up to reclaim and share this wisdom to alleviate fear and promote understanding about death.

Q & A

Why does the speaker believe that modern society has lost the wisdom of death?

The speaker argues that modern society has distanced itself from the natural process of dying due to medical advancements and the increasing trend of dying in hospitals rather than at home. This has led to a loss of collective understanding of what happens during the end of life, which was previously passed down through generations.

How did the speaker's grandmother understand the process of dying?

The speaker's grandmother, like many others in her time, was familiar with the process of dying because she worked as a caregiver for the terminally ill in their homes. As a woman in the early 20th century, she had direct experience with people dying in familiar surroundings, which gave her practical knowledge of what death entailed.

What was the difference in the speaker's experience with dying when compared to their grandmother's experience?

The speaker, trained as a doctor in the 1980s, was taught to prevent death rather than understand it. Despite medical training, the speaker did not have the same intimate knowledge of dying as their grandmother did, who had direct, hands-on experience with death in the home setting.

What role did medical advancements play in changing the way society views dying?

Medical advancements, such as the development of antibiotics, surgical techniques, and intensive care units, have made it possible to save many lives that would have been lost in previous generations. However, this shift also led to the practice of taking dying patients to hospitals, which removed the personal connection to death and caused society to lose its understanding of the dying process.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of hospice care?

The speaker emphasizes hospice care because it focuses on the comfort and quality of life for patients who are dying, rather than attempting to prolong life at all costs. The speaker’s experience in a hospice setting revealed the importance of understanding and supporting the natural process of dying with compassion and knowledge.

What significant conversation does the speaker have with a hospice patient, and how does it impact their career?

The speaker has a pivotal conversation with a hospice patient, a former member of the French Resistance, who is terrified of dying in agony and risking her soul. A senior doctor explains the typical physical changes that occur as a person dies, which helps the patient face her fear and understand the process. This moment profoundly impacts the speaker's career, sparking a deep interest in palliative care.

What is the significance of the conversation the doctor has with the patient about dying?

The conversation between the doctor and the patient is significant because it demystifies the dying process and helps the patient alleviate her existential fears. By describing the typical stages of dying, the doctor provides the patient with a sense of control and understanding, allowing her to face her mortality with less fear and anxiety.

How does the speaker react to the doctor's approach to explaining dying to the patient?

At first, the speaker is horrified that the doctor is describing the process of dying so plainly to the patient. However, as they witness the patient’s calm and understanding reaction, the speaker realizes the power of providing this information and its ability to reduce fear and anxiety about death.

What did the speaker learn about the physical process of dying during the conversation with the doctor?

The speaker learns that the process of dying follows a common pattern, including deepening unconsciousness, changes in breathing patterns, and reflexive breathing cycles that are often mistaken for discomfort. These physical changes occur gradually, and the final breath is not marked by dramatic moments, which contrasts with how death is often portrayed in media.

What is the speaker's message to the audience regarding the wisdom of dying?

The speaker urges the audience to reclaim the wisdom of dying, emphasizing that death is not just a medical event, but a social and deeply personal experience. They call for a collective effort to understand, describe, and accompany people through the dying process, much like how the speaker’s grandmother and others in past generations understood and accepted death.