My final hours, I love you I love me

Summary

In a poignant video, the speaker reflects on their final day, detailing the process of taking a lethal drug mixture to end their life. They express gratitude for hospice care that has alleviated their pain, while also sharing the emotional challenges of saying goodbye to loved ones. The speaker's candid account of their decision to end their suffering is interwoven with moments of love, humor, and the anticipation of a peaceful release from pain.

Takeaways

• 🕒 The speaker is facing their final day and will take a lethal dosage of medication mixed with apple juice to ease the bitterness.
• 💊 They are currently on hospice care, which has effectively managed their pain with medication, contrasting with their previous experience with a palliative care doctor.
• 🌟 Despite the situation, the speaker expresses gratitude for the love and support from family and friends, highlighting the emotional support they've received.
• 😢 The speaker is dealing with the emotional toll of knowing their time is limited, expressing both sadness and acceptance.
• 🐕 The speaker has made arrangements for their pet, Indie, who has been relocated to a new place, indicating a concern for their pet's well-being.
• 🏠 There's a mention of a recent visit to a big arena with their pet, suggesting a desire to provide a final, happy experience for the animal.
• 🤗 The speaker has said their goodbyes and shared hugs and love with their family and friends, indicating a process of closure.
• 😖 The speaker is experiencing physical discomfort, including constipation and stomach pain, as side effects of the medications.
• 🌱 There's a sense of peace and acceptance in the speaker's decision, as they believe they are being called for a good reason and look forward to being free from pain.
• 📹 The speaker initially planned to vlog again but decided against it, wanting to spend the remaining time with loved ones.

Q & A

What is the speaker planning to do by 3:00 PM?

The speaker is planning to take their first dosage of steroids along with a heavy dose of nausea medicine.

Why does the speaker mix the medication with apple juice?

The medication is mixed with apple juice because it's very bitter, and the juice helps to make it more palatable.

What is the purpose of taking sorbet after the medication?

Sorbet is taken to prevent the medication from burning the mouth and throat due to its toxic nature.

How does the speaker describe their current state regarding pain?

The speaker is currently on hospice and has been for a few days, and the hospice drugs have effectively taken away their pain.

What is the speaker's opinion about the palliative care doctor?

The speaker expresses dissatisfaction with the palliative care doctor, stating that they found the care to be useless and not tailored to their specific needs.

What medication has the speaker been taking for pain relief?

The speaker has been taking methadone along with a nausea pill and Advil for pain relief.

What side effect has the speaker experienced from the medications?

The speaker has experienced severe constipation as a side effect from the medications.

How does the speaker feel about their current situation?

The speaker feels a mix of emotions, including sadness, anxiety, and acceptance, acknowledging the reality of their limited time.

What does the speaker plan to do with their remaining time?

The speaker plans to spend their remaining time saying goodbye to their family and friends, expressing love, and preparing for the end.

How does the speaker describe their feelings about the hospice care?

The speaker appreciates the hospice care for its focus on pain relief and for providing comfort in their final days.

What is the speaker's attitude towards the end of their life?

The speaker has a positive and accepting attitude towards the end of their life, viewing it as a necessary and even exciting transition.