How to embrace emotions at work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Summary

This video discusses the importance of embracing emotions at work and debunks the myth that professionalism means being emotionless. It emphasizes selective vulnerability, the balance between sharing emotions and maintaining professionalism. Through strategies like flagging your feelings, understanding the needs behind them, and reading the room, individuals can build stronger connections and enhance productivity. The key is to express emotions in a controlled way that fosters trust without oversharing, creating a healthier, more empathetic work environment.

Takeaways

• 💡 Emotions are a natural part of being human and can't be turned off when you enter the office.
• 🧊 A common myth suggests that emotions have no place at work, equating professionalism with being stoic or cold.
• 🤝 Research shows that when colleagues are more genuine, they build better connections, trust, and productivity.
• ⚖️ There’s a balance between expressing emotions at work and oversharing, which can undermine trust.
• 💬 Selective vulnerability is key — sharing enough to build trust without making others uncomfortable.
• 🛑 Oversharing too much personal detail can make others feel uneasy and may damage your professional image.
• 😡 If you're in a bad mood, it's important to flag it, so others don’t assume it’s related to them.
• 🔍 Understand the need behind your emotions, and address those needs constructively in the workplace.
• 👂 Consider the perspective of others before sharing, ensuring that your communication is beneficial.
• 📅 Acknowledge others' emotions and provide actionable suggestions to help them move forward, promoting a healthier work environment.

Q & A

What is the common myth about emotions in the workplace?

The common myth is that emotions don't belong at work and that professionalism is equated with being stoic or even cold.

Why is it important to show emotions at work according to the script?

Showing emotions helps people connect, improves performance, and fosters kindness. When colleagues drop their professional facade, they are more likely to be believed and trusted.

What is selective vulnerability, and why is it important?

Selective vulnerability is opening up while maintaining stability and psychological safety for oneself and others. It's important because it builds trust without oversharing, which can make others uncomfortable and undermine one's professionalism.

What is the danger of oversharing emotions at work?

Oversharing can make colleagues uncomfortable and cause the individual to be seen as weak or lacking self-awareness. It can also undermine trust and professionalism.

What are the characteristics of under-emoters and over-emoters, and why are both problematic?

Under-emoters have difficulty talking about their feelings, while over-emoters constantly share everything. Both extremes are unhealthy for the workplace because under-emoters can seem distant, and over-emoters can overwhelm others.

How can you signal that you're upset without oversharing?

You can flag your emotions by briefly acknowledging that you're upset without going into detail. For example, saying, 'I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you.'

What is the recommended approach when work-related emotions arise?

The recommended approach is to understand the need behind the emotion and address it constructively. For example, if you're anxious about a deadline, ask your team for help with creating a realistic plan.

Why is it important to put yourself in the other person's shoes when sharing emotions?

It helps ensure that what you're sharing will contribute to a more supportive and productive environment, rather than making others uncomfortable.

How can you acknowledge a colleague's emotions and provide support?

You can acknowledge their feelings with empathy and suggest actionable solutions, such as asking for more time or offering help to ease their workload.

What are the benefits of practicing selective vulnerability at work?

Practicing selective vulnerability can lead to increased trust, stronger connections with colleagues, higher job satisfaction, and longer retention at the company.