If An Avoidant Does THIS, They’re Not Coming Back

Summary

This script delves into the behaviors of avoidant individuals, particularly in the context of relationships. It discusses the likelihood of avoidants ghosting and not returning, with a 70% chance based on a subreddit survey. The reasons for ghosting include emotional discomfort and fear of intimacy. The script also touches on the concept of avoidants rewriting history post-ghosting, detaching emotionally by downplaying past significance. It concludes with a poignant reflection on the avoidant's internal struggle and the ultimate realization of the importance of shared connections.

Takeaways

• 🔍 The script discusses avoidant attachment and its impact on relationships, focusing on ghosting behavior.
• 👻 Avoidant individuals are likely to ghost, with a 70% chance of never reaching out again after ghosting.
• 📊 Definitions of ghosting among avoidant people vary, but most see it as ending a relationship suddenly without explanation.
• 🌐 The avoidant attachment subreddit is highlighted as a resource for understanding the avoidant perspective on relationships and ghosting.
• 📉 Avoidants often ghost due to emotional discomfort, feeling overwhelmed, low self-worth, or fear of not meeting others' needs.
• 📚 The story of Christopher McCandless is used as a metaphor for the avoidant's struggle with connection and solitude.
• 💔 Ghosting can create a sense of scarcity, making the avoidant seem more valuable and potentially leading to a 'chaser' dynamic.
• 🔄 There's a high likelihood of recurring breakups if an avoidant returns to a relationship without resolving their attachment issues.
• 📝 Avoidants may rewrite history after ghosting, downplaying the importance of the relationship to emotionally detach.
• 🌱 The script suggests that avoidants may eventually realize the importance of shared connections, similar to McCandless's epiphany in 'Into the Wild'.

Q & A

What are the two actions that an avoidant person might take to completely cut someone out of their life?

The two actions are ghosting and rewriting history with the person they're cutting out.

What percentage of avoidant individuals, according to the subreddit study, never reach out after ghosting someone?

69% of avoidant individuals never reach out after ghosting someone.

How do avoidant individuals generally define ghosting?

80% of avoidant individuals define ghosting as ending a relationship suddenly without an explanation.

What are the common reasons avoidant individuals ghost someone, as identified in the subreddit study?

Common reasons include emotional discomfort or conflict, feeling overwhelmed by the other person's attachment or expectations, a belief that the other person deserves better, low self-worth, and fear of not being able to meet the other person's needs.

What is the term used to describe behaviors or thoughts that are used to avoid intimacy?

The term used is 'deactivating strategies'.

What is the significance of the book 'Into the Wild' in relation to avoidant attachment?

The protagonist, Christopher McCandless, is seen as a perfect example of a dismissive avoidant, who seeks isolation and shuns close relationships.

What does the avoidant person's rewriting of history with someone signify?

It signifies deep emotional closure and a way for them to finalize their departure, ensuring there's no reason to return.

What is the likelihood of hearing from an avoidant person again if they ghost you?

There's a 70% chance that you'll never hear from them again if an avoidant person ghosts you.

What is the paradox that exists inside avoidant individuals?

The paradox is the coexistence of the need to be loved with the need to be alone.

What advice do avoidant individuals generally give to someone who has been ghosted by them?

The general consensus is to give them space, but with a 70% chance of never hearing back, it becomes a moot point.

What is the 'forever alone train' mentioned in the script?

It refers to the underlying fear that avoidants have that they're going to be alone forever, despite having the ability to change that.