Communication Skills - The 6 Keys Of Powerful Communication
Summary
TLDRIn this video, Leo from Actualized.org emphasizes the critical role of communication skills in personal and professional life, highlighting how poor communication can hinder success in relationships, work, and business. He outlines six key pillars for effective communication: assertiveness, authenticity, open-mindedness, empathy, clarity, and listening skills. Leo encourages viewers to identify areas for improvement and offers practical advice on enhancing these skills for a more fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- 😀 Communication skills are crucial for personal and professional success, impacting intimate relationships, job performance, and business management.
- 🔍 Assertiveness is key in communication; it ensures your message is taken seriously and you get what you want from interactions.
- 🌟 Authenticity is vital for effective communication; being true to yourself ensures your values are honored and your message is genuine.
- 🧠 Open-mindedness in communication allows for the consideration of diverse viewpoints, fostering more productive and inclusive discussions.
- 💡 Empathy is essential for building connections and understanding in communication, as it helps in relating to others' emotions and experiences.
- 📢 Clarity in communication ensures that the message conveyed is accurately received, preventing misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
- 👂 Listening is not just about hearing; it involves actively showing that you are engaged and value the other person's input.
- 🏋️♂️ Improving communication skills requires practice and focus on areas of deficiency, such as assertiveness, authenticity, or clarity.
- 💼 Professional settings demand clear and effective communication, often necessitating deliberate effort and practice beyond natural tendencies.
- 🌱 Continuous improvement in communication can lead to enhanced personal growth, better relationships, and a more fulfilling life.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video by Leo from Actualized.org?
-The main topic of the video is communication skills, focusing on how to improve them and the importance of effective communication in various aspects of life.
Why does Leo emphasize the importance of communication skills?
-Leo emphasizes the importance of communication skills because lacking them can lead to problems in intimate relationships, work, managing employees, running a business, and overall life smoothness.
What are the six key points Leo suggests to become a good communicator?
-The six key points Leo suggests are: assertiveness, authenticity, open-mindedness, empathy, clarity, and listening skills.
How does assertiveness play a role in effective communication?
-Assertiveness ensures that one's message and intentions are taken seriously, allowing the communicator to confidently convey their message and achieve their desired outcome.
What does authenticity mean in the context of communication?
-Authenticity in communication means being true to oneself, expressing one's own values and agenda honestly, and not merely conforming to social expectations or politeness.
Why is open-mindedness crucial for effective communication?
-Open-mindedness allows one to consider alternative perspectives and ideas, fostering a cooperative dynamic and preventing the dismissal of others' viewpoints, which is essential for growth and effective communication.
How does empathy contribute to better communication?
-Empathy creates a common ground by allowing individuals to understand and relate to each other's emotions, making the other person feel heard and valued, which enhances communication.
What is the significance of clarity in communication?
-Clarity ensures that the message conveyed is accurately received and understood by the listener, preventing misinterpretations and ensuring the communicator's intentions are correctly perceived.
How does active listening demonstrate effective communication?
-Active listening demonstrates effective communication by showing the speaker that they are being heard and understood, through actions like nodding, making affirming sounds, asking clarifying questions, and engaging in the conversation.
What advice does Leo give for improving communication skills?
-Leo advises focusing on one or two of the six key points that are most challenging for the individual, setting a timeframe for improvement, and practicing these skills in various aspects of life.
What resources does Leo offer for further development in communication and personal growth?
-Leo offers a newsletter and resources on Actualized.org, which provide weekly updates on personal growth, psychology, mindsets, strategies, and techniques for creating a passionate and successful life.
Outlines
🗣️ The Importance of Communication Skills
Leo from Actualized.org introduces the topic of communication skills, emphasizing their importance in various aspects of life, including intimate relationships, work, and business. He highlights how a lack of communication skills can lead to problems and suggests that good communication makes life smoother. Leo outlines six key points that are essential for becoming an effective communicator and hints at discussing these points in detail throughout the video.
💪 Assertiveness in Communication
The second paragraph delves into the first of the six key points: assertiveness. Leo explains that assertiveness is crucial for getting what you want from communication, as it involves confidently and persistently conveying your message. He contrasts this with being meek and how it can hinder one's ability to achieve desired outcomes. Leo uses the example of dealing with a hotel mix-up to illustrate the power of assertiveness and persistence in resolving issues.
🌟 Authenticity: Being True to Yourself in Communication
Leo discusses the second key point, authenticity, which is about being true to oneself in communication. He points out that many people hold back their true feelings to be polite or avoid conflict, which can lead to inauthentic communication. Authenticity requires self-awareness, clarity about one's values, and the courage to stand by them. Leo stresses that inauthentic communication can dilute the impact of one's message and lead to personal unfulfillment.
🧠 Open-Mindedness: Embracing Different Perspectives
The fourth paragraph focuses on open-mindedness, the third key point. Open-mindedness involves being willing to consider other perspectives and ideas, which is essential for effective communication. Leo warns against being dogmatic and closing oneself off to different viewpoints, as this can hinder communication and personal growth. He emphasizes that being open to others' ideas can lead to better understanding and more fruitful interactions.
🌱 Empathy: Understanding and Sharing Emotions
Empathy is the fourth key point discussed in the video script. Leo explains that empathy is vital for communication because it allows us to understand and share the emotions of others. He references the concept of mirror neurons, which enable us to feel what others are experiencing, thus fostering a sense of connection and cooperation. Leo suggests that empathy is particularly important in intimate relationships and can significantly enhance the quality of communication.
📢 Clarity: Ensuring Your Message is Understood
The fifth paragraph addresses clarity in communication. Leo states that effective communication is not about what you intend to say but what the other person understands. He stresses the importance of being clear, accurate, and easy to understand to prevent misinterpretation. Clarity is essential in various settings, from business to personal interactions, to ensure that messages are received as intended and to avoid potential problems.
👂 Listening: The Other Half of Communication
The final key point, listening, is explored in the last paragraph. Leo emphasizes that communication is not just about speaking but also about actively listening to others. He suggests that showing that you are listening through non-verbal cues and asking clarifying questions can make the other person feel heard and valued. Leo advises practicing active listening in various situations to improve communication skills and to build stronger relationships.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Communication Skills
💡Assertiveness
💡Authenticity
💡Open-mindedness
💡Empathy
💡Clarity
💡Listening Skills
💡Intimate Relationships
💡Personal Development
💡Toastmasters
Highlights
Communication skills are crucial for personal and professional success.
Lack of communication skills can lead to problems in intimate relationships, work, and business management.
Good communication makes everyday tasks, like ordering at a restaurant, easier and more effective.
Communication is vital for marketing oneself, whether in a job resume or pitching a business proposal.
Assertiveness is the first key pillar of effective communication; it ensures your message is taken seriously.
Authenticity in communication means being true to oneself and one's values.
Open-mindedness allows for considering various perspectives and ideas, fostering more effective communication.
Empathy, supported by mirror neurons, helps in understanding and relating to others' emotions during communication.
Clarity in communication ensures that the intended message is accurately received by the listener.
Listening is an essential part of communication; active listening shows engagement and understanding.
Improving communication skills involves identifying and focusing on areas of weakness, such as assertiveness or clarity.
Practicing communication skills in various settings, from work to daily interactions, can lead to significant improvement.
Joining organizations like Toastmasters can provide opportunities to enhance public speaking and communication abilities.
The speaker offers a newsletter with weekly updates on personal growth, psychology, and strategies for life mastery.
The video aims to reignite passion and engagement in life, helping viewers get back on track with their goals.
Transcripts
hey this is Leo for actualized.org and
in this video I'm going to talk about
communication
skills all right so let's talk a little
bit about communication skills and what
it really takes to improve your
communication skills and how do you
become a good communicator before we go
into that and I'm going to give you six
six key points that you need to follow
to become a very effective and lethal
communicator but before we get into that
let's talk a little bit about why this
is even important why this is something
that you should be concerned about
communication skills is something that I
see ruining people's lives lack thereof
when you lack communication skills if
you lack communication skills you're
going to have a problem in your Intimate
Relationships if you have lack
communication skills you're going to
have a problem at your job at your work
if you lack communication skills you're
going to have a problem managing
employees or running a business if you
do that working with clients that's
something that's really big that I found
communication skills are important in
and overall in life having solid
communication skills is important to
make your life smooth just like little
things will work better for you when you
have good communication skills even
something as simple as like placing an
order at the restaurant placing a clear
order and doing it in a way where you
get what you want from the waitress or
the waiter and getting your way in life
this is much easier when you have solid
communication skills rather than when
you're you're unclear you're mumbly
you're not sure what you want you're not
assertive and you have all these other
problems so let's go into that and talk
about it communication skills are
something that you want to work on
because this is something that's going
to last for your whole life right as
your life goes on you're going to run
into people going to have problems
communicating you're going to have
problems writing you're even going to
have uh challenges with marketing
yourself whether you're selling yourself
in a resume format where you're pitching
yourself to new employers and you're
trying to get a better job or you're
selling some sort of business proposal
that you've got or maybe a product or a
service that you've created that you
really want to be successful and that's
important to to your purpose in life
well to do all those things effectively
you need to be able to communicate
effectively so let's talk about that
what does it really take to become a
good communic Ator I would say that
there are six pillars at least for me
that I sat down and I kind of thought
about okay what is it really what are
the essential components so here they
are I'm going to list them off and then
we're going to go into each one into
some detail and you're going to get some
clarity around that and then you can go
and work on whatever one of these six or
maybe more than one you are deficient
the most in so it's kind of like looking
at your sticking points where are your
communication skill sticking points so
here are the six number one is
assertiveness number two is authenticity
number three is open-mindedness number
four is empathy number five is Clarity
and number six is listening listening
skills so those are the six now let's go
and talk a little a little bit about
each one so first of all
assertiveness being a communicator and
the reason that you're communicating
anything at all is because you usually
want something to happen because of your
words or however communicating you can
communicate not just using words you can
communicate using body language and
imagery and other things but ultimately
you're trying to convey some sort of
message have some sort of impact so a
lot of people they will communicate
things but then they don't get what they
actually want with the communication
because their communication is not
assertive they're not really pushing for
their own agenda they're not sticking to
their guns so then they end up not
getting what they want maybe this is
happening to you in a relationship maybe
this is happening to you in a debate
maybe it's happening to you in office
meeting or somewhere else in your life
right you have to be
assertive you have to be assertive that
means that you can't be a doormat you
can't just let other people impose their
agenda upon you your communication has
to be such that people perceive it as as
serious that way they take your words
and your language seriously and they
take your intentions and your ideas
seriously so this is something that is
very important you have to know how to
be confident in your
delivery not not just that but also be
insistent and
persistent right like I know people
friends of mine who are really really
good at this personally I've struggled
with assertiveness myself I was always
kind of
Meek in the way that uh that I would
interact with people and I still am to a
certain degree I've worked on it a lot
but this kind of meekness really holds
you back because a lot of times you'll
want something simple and you won't be
able to get it simply because you give
up before your message has been
delivered and sometimes your message has
to be repeated and repeated and repeated
persistently until you get what you want
it could be just a very simple thing
like maybe you go to a hotel and they
don't have your room for some reason
they sold your room to somebody else and
now you need to you need a room for the
night so basically what can you do well
you can just accept it as it is maybe
ask them about why they screwed up your
reservation then accept it or you can be
assertive you can be persistent you can
get the manager to come out you can get
his manager to come out you can kind of
Pummel away at the problem until maybe
some something clicks and something
happens and you'd be surprised how how
often something like that where you're
being assertive and being assertive
sometimes just some sort of spontaneous
solution presents itself whereas if you
were Meek then you would have just been
hit you would have taken that hit and
you wouldn't have ultimately gotten what
you wanted out of the situation so
assertiveness is important the next
point is point number two authenticity
authenticity is critical authenticity is
about being true to
yourself how often are you true to
yourself in Comm your
communication uh if you're like most
people then what most people do do is
they hold back they want to be polite
they want to be curious they they don't
want to offend somebody and they'll do
anything to to make the the the
transaction the verbal transaction go
well the communication go
well and they won't really worry about
whether they're being honest and true to
themselves whether their own values are
being honored here in this
situation to do that you have to first
of all know what your authentic actually
is so you have to kind of be clear about
your own values you have to know about
what your own agenda is and what you
want out of life and what is true and
what is not true for you you have to
know where the boundaries are and then
you have to have the courage to go out
there and and fight for that because
being authentic that's not something
that comes spontaneously to most people
for most people that takes effort and
work because we've always been taught
and been conditioned to be polite and to
put this big smile on our face and uh
you know that can be fine in some
situations and that will hold certain
situations over but in the long run it
doesn't work in the long run people see
that they can see right through your
inauthenticity and when you are
communicating with someone who's
inauthentic you can clearly feel it off
that person and so his message and his
ideas they get diluted they don't have
the power that they want to have but not
only that but the person who's doing
that communication who's being
inauthentic here she is uh is ultimately
unfulfilled with him or herself so
that's why authenticity is critical
number three is openm mindedness you
have to be open-minded when you're
interacting with other people open n
this means that you're willing to
consider other
perspectives alternative scenarios and
ideas don't close your mind off to
alternate points of view because you
will be coming into contact with many
people in your life and their points of
view might be very different than your
own and a lot of times our gut reactions
to say no that's not something that I'm
interested in that's not something I
want that's clearly wrong that's that's
awful whatever and you judge and you
criticize and you draw a basically a
wall between yourself and the other
person or his ideas and when that
happens then there's that wall there's
that wall between you two and so no
effective communication can happen if
all you're doing is just being very very
insistent on your own points of view
being very dogmatic and grounded on that
but then you're not willing to consider
other perspectives
well other people are not going to want
to communicate with you you're going to
be a very stubborn person people will
label you as such and then they'll try
to avoid you because who wants to be in
that kind of environment who wants to
communicate with someone like that
people want to communicate with somebody
who's willing to listen to them to
consider their ideas not just in a
superficial way but honestly like there
should always be a chance for that other
person to convince you of their
ideas so if someone is talking to you
and even if you don't like what they're
saying you you can still stay there and
listen and entertain an idea just
because you're intelligent and you're
willing to entertain various ideas that
are NE not necessarily your own and that
doesn't mean you have to adopt them but
you can entertain them you can play
around with them and then once in a
while you actually do adopt one it's
actually something that's very critical
and important to your own personal
development because if uh if you're not
taking on this kind of open receptive
mindset then that means that you are uh
you're kind of stuck in your own place
you're stuck in your own beliefs and
your own ideas not only is it going to
create communication problems it's just
going to limit your growth as a human
being ultimately you're hurting yourself
by doing that so open-mindedness is very
important the fourth point four the
fourth point is empathy empathy is very
important for communication in fact
human beings we have and this has been
uh studied by neuroscientists we have
what are called mirror
neurons mirror neurons what they are are
their specialized neurons in the brain
and what they do is they allow us to
have empathy with other human beings and
even other creatures so for example we
can see maybe someone like a friend of
ours or a spouse of ours walking across
the room and stubbing let's say her toe
on on the on the coffee
table and so she stubs her toe on the
coffee table and when I look at that I
winse I go uh right because I see the
pain in her face I see her grabbing her
toe and I'm wincing because I I feel the
pain literally in my own brain and those
are my mirror neurons firing off and
what the mirror neurons allow us to do
is they literally allow us to to
experience the emotions that we would
have experienced if we were in that
situation but we're not right when I'm
seeing someone stub their toe on the
coffee table I'm not in that situation
but I'm seeing it and I'm imagining it
and now I'm actually feeling the pain of
it a little bit not as much but a little
bit of that pain I actually feel that's
what makes my face scrunch up and wins
so those are the Mir Rons happening
that's empathy now why is empathy
important for communication well the
other person wants to feel like they're
being heard and they're being
understood empathy creates a common
ground when you can empathize with the
person that you're communicating with
that person will feel like oh okay he
gets me she understands where I'm coming
from okay she's just like me we have
common ground let's communicate let's
see kind of like where this goes and it
come it it it creates this kind of a
Cooperative Dynamic whereas if you have
no empathy for the other person and you
don't understand their emotions you
can't relate to their emotions they will
sense that off of
you and they will think well this this
guy or this girl uh she doesn't know
anything about me he doesn't know my
problems and my
challenges so how can how can I listen
to him how can I listen to her her
message is not going to resonate with me
because she has very different
experiences very different for me and so
there's now this this this gulf of
Separation if you notice a lot of my
videos I talk about a lot of the
problems that you have when I start off
a video I start talking about a problem
and I talk about the emotions of it
that's because I want to build empathy
and I don't just just do that to kind of
curtsy favor with you I do that because
a lot of times I've come and I've
experienced those negative places that
I'm talking about right so if we're
talking about some sort of negative
emotion uh or some sort of negative
situation in life that you're trying to
fix
well I've had those situations in my
life and now I can use those and I can
build a common ground between us so that
you'll be more receptive to what I'm
saying so empathy is going to get you a
very long way in your communication
skills especially in Intimate
Relationships empathy is very
important the next point this is point
number five now is
Clarity communication needs to be
clear there's an old idea I don't
remember where I got this from but I
think it's a classic idea that
communication is not what you meant to
say but it's what the other person
received so a lot of times we'll think
that we said something and then the
other person will hear our words hear
our message and then do something else
or believe something else other than
what we
intended well here by this more rigorous
uh standard of judging our communication
what we really want to say is that
whatever the person hears and
understands that's what was really
communicated now what we intended so
Clarity is all about getting your
intention in line with what the other
person actually perceives the best type
of communication is extremely clear it's
accurate it's easy for other people to
understand what is being
meant it's not Loosey Goosey and
nebulous and too abstract which allows
for many many types of
interpretation Clarity is very important
because if you're not clear in your
communication then what you're
communicating will get misinterpreted
and then people will start doing things
that you didn't really intend them to do
they'll start believing that you believe
things that you didn't actually believe
this can create problems in your
business this can create problems when
you're giving instructions to people to
do things this can create problems with
just very simple things like you tell
your kids you call your kids on the
phone you tell them to uh to do
something very specific and if you don't
say it clearly in the right way then
they won't do it they'll do what they
want to
do so Clarity is something that you need
to work on if you have problems where
people are misperceiving what you're
telling them
then maybe it's not them but it's you
and the way that you're communicating
you're not articulating yourself
accurately and the last point point
number six is listening so communication
just talking and talking and talking it
doesn't really work unless you also hear
back right as I said before people want
to want to feel like they're being
listened to they don't they don't want
to just be talked at they have to be
listened and listening is not just about
opening your ears a lot of times it's
just as simple as opening your ears but
you have to also let the other person
know that you're listening to them and
they they were heard so for example just
like very simple little things being an
active listener what that means is
nodding your head when you're standing
there and you're listening to somebody
nodding your head so that they're
registering it saying mm once in a while
mm oh I see okay oh interesting point so
making little comments like that asking
questions clarifying questions about
what said so the person feels like
you're actually listening and you're
engaged and you want to know
more those are those are very critical
those are very critical when you're
sitting down face to face with somebody
especially when the stakes are high when
the issue is Big you need to let the
other person know that you're actually
listening to them and hearing them and
you have to actually want to do
that okay so if these are the six
pillars now you have to ask yourself if
you have trouble with communication
skills or you want to improve which one
of these
six are the one or two that are really
holding you
back that are causing you the most
friction in your
Communications is it assertiveness
authenticity lack of
open-mindedness lack of
empathy lack of clarity or lack of
listening pick one or two of those and
then say okay I want to improve that I
want to work on that I'm going to devote
the next 30 or 60 or 90 days really
focusing on that and looking for ways
that I can improve let's say let's say
you want to improve your Clarity I'm
going to look at ways that I can improve
my clarity how can I write more clear
emails how can I give more clear
presentations at work what does that
mean do I have to study do I have to
read some books do I have to take some
notes do I have to do I have to spend
more time preparing for my presentation
do I have to do do I have to maybe get
feedback from my boss in a way that I
haven't been getting before do I have to
maybe learn some new vocabulary maybe I
have to simplify down my vocabulary
instead of being all high futin and
trying to be sophisticated maybe I
should just boil my vocabulary down to
something very simple where people can
actually understand what I'm saying
rather than trying to impress them with
my big uh use of fancy
words so that would be a way that you
could work on Clarity and you can do
this for all the other ones as well and
then practice practice at work practice
in your intimate relationship practice
at uh even like very simple places when
you're going out and you're ordering a
coffee at the Starbucks practice there
as you're chatting with the the cashier
you can practice all these things all
the time throughout your life and the
more you interact with people then the
better and better and better you get at
this but I think that it's important to
put your attention on it because a lot
of people they'll just assume that
communication well that's something that
just kind kind of comes naturally I
don't really need to work on it well if
you are any any kind of professional
setting then you know that it takes uh
it takes actual work in practice to get
really good at communication and you can
join organizations like Toastmasters and
and maybe volunteer to do more types of
public speaking other types of things at
your at your job in order to become a
better
Communicator okay this is Leah I'm
signing off this is how to improve your
communication skills go ahead and post
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improve you're seeing your work and
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forgot about you got off track with well
I want to put you back on track and I
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