How Girls REALLY Want You To Talk To Them
Summary
TLDRThe video script narrates the story of Jeffrey, who had a long-standing crush on Jessica but lacked the courage to express his feelings. It delves into the importance of boldness in approaching women, contrasting shyness with confidence. The speaker shares personal anecdotes from his teenage years in Army Cadets, where his inability to act led to missed opportunities. The narrative emphasizes the need to overcome fear of rejection and to engage in playful, authentic conversations rather than dull interviews, advocating for a balance of ambition and light-hearted teasing to attract and connect with women.
Takeaways
- 😔 The importance of courage in expressing feelings to someone you have a crush on, as hesitation can lead to missed opportunities.
- 😳 The narrator's personal experience of having a crush in Army Cadets and the regret of not expressing his feelings, which resulted in the girl having a crush on someone else.
- 🤔 The advice that shyness and inaction make one less attractive, and that taking action despite fear can lead to positive outcomes.
- 💪 The concept that courage is acting despite feeling fear, and that this courage can be attractive to others.
- 🚫 The narrator's belief that being scared of rejection is a common but unproductive mindset, and that regret from inaction is worse than the pain of rejection.
- 📉 The idea that the pain of rejection lessens with each experience, and that those with more experience are less affected by it.
- 🔢 The suggestion that quantity and practice in interactions with the opposite sex are key to becoming good at it, similar to how one learns any other skill.
- 💭 The insight that girls prefer honesty and directness in communication, rather than games or pretense of disinterest.
- 😜 The effectiveness of teasing and playful banter over formal questioning in creating a more engaging and attractive interaction.
- 👥 The narrator's anecdote about a failed attempt to connect with a girl due to his friend's lack of 'game', illustrating the importance of keeping conversations interesting.
- 🌟 The impact of speaking with ambition and passion about one's goals and dreams, which can be a powerful way to connect with and attract someone.
Q & A
What is the main issue Jeffrey faces regarding his feelings for Jessica?
-Jeffrey has a crush on Jessica but lacks the courage to speak to her, resulting in him just staring at her in class without taking any action.
How does the speaker describe Adonis' understanding of women?
-Adonis is portrayed as understanding women well, similar to how Jeffrey understands the female characters in League of Legends, but with a more confident and engaging approach.
What was the speaker's experience in Army Cadets as a teenager?
-The speaker had a crush on a girl in Army Cadets but was too shy to speak to her, instead of just staring and engaging in self-deprecating behavior like tilting back in his chair and biting his pen lid.
What event led to the speaker being asked to the dance by the girl he had a crush on?
-The girl had no one else to go with, and the speaker was the last option, but he still agreed to go with her to the dance.
What did the speaker learn about the importance of taking action when it comes to expressing feelings to someone?
-The speaker learned that fortune favors the bold and that being shy or waiting for the right time can lead to missed opportunities, as it did when the girl he liked expressed interest in someone else.
What advice does the speaker give about dealing with fear and rejection when approaching someone you like?
-The speaker advises that courage is acting despite feeling fear, and that rejection is less painful than regret for not taking action. He also mentions that the pain of rejection lessens with each experience.
What does the speaker suggest is a more attractive approach to talking to girls than asking conventional questions?
-The speaker suggests teasing and playful banter as a more attractive approach than asking conventional questions, which can feel like an interview and bore the girl.
How does the speaker describe the difference between his conversation style and that of the 'cool Chad'?
-The speaker's style involves teasing and ambition, making the conversation lively and interesting, whereas the 'cool Chad' might act disinterested, which can be attractive but inauthentic if the person is actually very interested.
What negative outcome did the speaker's friend Levi experience when using a conventional approach with a girl?
-Levi's girl got bored with the interview-like questions and left him to interrupt the speaker's moment with his own girl, leading to both girls leaving without further interaction.
What is the speaker's advice on what to talk about with a girl to increase attraction?
-The speaker advises talking about personal ambition, passion, and playful teasing rather than mundane topics like hobbies, which can be boring.
What impact did the speaker's conversation about his YouTube plans have on a girl he was interested in?
-The conversation about his ambitious plans for YouTube and leadership of a movement greatly increased the girl's attraction to him, showing the power of speaking with passion and ambition.
Outlines
😔 Unspoken Crushes and Missed Opportunities
The first paragraph narrates the story of Jeffrey, who has a long-standing crush on Jessica but lacks the courage to express his feelings. He passively observes her from afar, leading to regret when she eventually gets into a relationship with someone else. The speaker then contrasts Jeffrey's inaction with Adonis's understanding of women, likening it to Pakistani men's knowledge of tax evasion. The narrative shifts to the speaker's personal experience in Army Cadets, where he had a crush on a girl but failed to act on his feelings, instead of engaging in awkward behaviors like tilting back in his chair and biting his pen lid. This culminates in a dance event where the girl he likes reveals a crush on someone else, leaving the speaker reflecting on the importance of boldness and overcoming fear to express one's feelings.
😃 The Art of Teasing and Genuine Conversation
In the second paragraph, the speaker discusses the ineffectiveness of traditional advice on engaging with women, such as asking questions and showing interest, which often results in one-sided, interview-like conversations. Instead, he advocates for a more playful and teasing approach, using light-hearted banter and subtle mockery to create a fun and engaging interaction. He shares a personal anecdote about making fun of his date for sweating in a cafe, which led to a successful connection and her decision to leave her travels early to be with him. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not being afraid of rejection and the value of expressing ambition and confidence, as well as having playful and emotionally charged conversations that can significantly increase a woman's attraction.
😂 The Power of Teasing and Ambition in Relationships
The final paragraph focuses on the dynamics of the speaker's relationship with his girlfriend, characterized by teasing and light-hearted interaction, which he contrasts with the dullness of asking conventional questions about hobbies or music preferences. He recounts a failed attempt by a friend to entertain a girl, which ended with the girl leaving out of boredom due to the friend's lack of engaging conversation. The speaker stresses the importance of not taking conversations too seriously and instead engaging in playful banter, discussing ambitions, and creating an emotional connection. He encourages viewers to subscribe for more content and to always put in the effort, especially when they don't feel like it, ending with a playful 'mwah' sound effect.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Crush
💡Confidence
💡Fear of Rejection
💡Teasing
💡Ambition
💡Inauthenticity
💡Courage
💡Playful Banter
💡Sexual Tension
💡Regret
💡Practice
Highlights
Jeffrey's long-standing crush on Jessica and his inability to express his feelings.
The regret of not taking action due to shyness, as Jeffrey misses the chance with Jessica.
Adonis' understanding of women compared to Jeffrey's, and his avoidance of taxes.
The importance of being bold and not shy around women, as exemplified by the advice given.
The speaker's personal experience of having a crush in Army Cadets and his lack of confidence to act.
The missed opportunity at a Cadets' ball when the speaker's crush reveals interest in someone else.
The concept that fortune favors the bold, emphasizing the need for courage in romantic pursuits.
The idea that courage is acting despite fear, not waiting until one feels fine to take action.
The diminishing pain of rejection with each experience, and its importance in gaining confidence.
The speaker's personal account of numerous rejections and how it has shaped his approach to women.
The speaker's advice on being honest and upfront with women about one's intentions.
The ineffectiveness of the conventional advice of asking questions, likened to an interview.
The preference of women for playful banter and teasing over dry, interview-like conversations.
The speaker's anecdote about teasing his date and its positive impact on their relationship.
The importance of speaking with ambition and passion to attract women, using the speaker's YouTube plans as an example.
The story of a failed attempt to connect with a girl due to boring conversation tactics.
The final advice to do the hard work, especially when it doesn't feel right, and to subscribe for more content.
Transcripts
just speak to a Jeffrey
Jeffrey's had a crush on Jessica for so
long but he just can't muster up the
courage to speak to her he stares at her
in class every single day what do you
think happens next
she gets a boyfriend Jeffrey's so upset
he should have just talked to her Adonis
Adonis understands women just like
Pakistan I'm tired of you doing the tax
one bro just like Pakistani men and know
how to avoid taxes donnish understands
women just like Jeffrey understands the
female characters on League of Legends
obsessively his conversations with women
are full of sexual tension excitement
and interest I was in Army Cadets when I
was a teenager and inside you know you'd
go for like training to train to be in
the Army when you're 14 years old you'd
go and like learn how to like do knots
and ties and stuff there was a
particular part where it would be sat
almost like a classroom and the
instructor in front of us would be
teaching us like the phonetic alphabets
a for Alpha B for beta I couldn't even
focus on what he was saying because my
eyes were just glued onto the girl that
I had a crush on bro she was so [ __ ]
cute bro I had such a big crush on this
girl who was in Army Cadets with me and
I said nothing to her day in and day out
every time like it was time to go to
Cadets maybe two three times a week I
would literally just kind of like stare
at her and I would do this which makes
me so [ __ ] cringe now instead of
saying anything I would literally be sat
there in the classroom room tilted back
on my chair and biting my pen lid I'll
be doing this whilst looking at her
let's go like this bro
and I had no [ __ ] confidence enough
to speak to her I thought this was game
I thought like I was maybe 14 at the
time but I thought this was game bro I
thought I looked like smooth and like
hot as [ __ ] and everything doing this
and eventually there's this big events
for Cadets where hundreds of us from
different groups different detachments
go and like meet up in like this big
city and there's like some big compound
that's been reserved for us and it's
like this organized thing where there's
gonna be like a big dance like a ball at
the end that we've all got like suits
and dresses for and everything and I
remember one of our instructors one of
like the sort of female sort of more
senior girls who were still like you
know quite young she randomly just asked
me once like oh Hamza look would you go
to the dance with her
um yeah yeah of course I would yeah what
happened was that she had the other girl
that I like she had like no one else to
go with and you know I'm last place but
yeah it's fine bro like if she's stuck
with me it's fine a day into this sort
of big event she just kind of like in
front of everyone kind of says that she
has a crush on someone else and that she
wants to go out with him and even one of
like my friends there as well said oh
but what about hamster like he said you
know you should go out you should go
with Amazon and she's like yeah yeah and
I was like oh no don't worry about me
like should go you should go with that
guy
oh man maybe your father or your uncle
hasn't told you this just yet but
fortune favors the Bold you can't be shy
around women you need to grab whatever
confidence you have whatever level of
Courage that you have and just take
action and say something and be honest
that you like this girl being shy and
being you know taking your time with it
it makes you just seem less attractive
and I know what you're thinking and you
could probably relate to you know my
story but I don't know but you know it
doesn't feel right and it's not the
right time I'm gonna wait for the right
time to say something but the thing is
when you're like a certain level of guy
when you don't have that much of
experience with girls or you're not that
confident you're always gonna feel this
level of resistance before you're about
to like speak to a girl and tell her
that you like her courage is when you
feel that feeling of fear but you do the
thing anyway you have to understand that
you have inside of you this emotion
that's telling you like oh no but it's
going to be scary if we talk to her but
you can do the action even if you feel
this emotion you don't need to feel
absolutely fine to go speak to her you
just need to do the action no matter
what you're feeling girls are attracted
to like courageous confident guys who
even if they're experiencing some kind
kind of negative fearful emotion do the
hard work anyway and you might be
thinking I'm scared of rejection well
yeah of course you are rejection is like
a totally scary thing but only really
for the first 50 rejections of your life
by now you watching this you probably
experience rejection maybe 10 times in
your entire life maybe 20 times
obviously online texting [ __ ] like you
know some girl that you've never even
met before on Tinder or something stops
replying to your message that doesn't
count but like a real rejection of you
walking up to a girl saying something in
the sense that you like her and then her
saying oh no sorry I've got a boyfriend
most young guys have only been rejected
like three times and it hurts so
significantly but the pain of rejection
starts up here and it goes down
dramatically with every single one that
you get and I promise you that any of
the guys who are slightly older than you
who are quite experienced with women and
you know who get like quite a lot of
girls have been rejected by 10 times as
many as you can think honestly I may
have been rejected by probably close to
300 400 500 somewhere around that range
in person in person and that's not even
including like the random times like
some girl on Instagram or Tinder that
like doesn't reply to your message to be
good with girls honestly a lot of it's
just quantity it's just a lot of
practice how is it that girls actually
want you to talk to them they just want
you to like be honest and upfront with
what you actually want from us so many
guys especially the younger guys who
don't have much confidence like you go
about it in this like just this [ __ ]
kind of way where you just kind of act
like you don't really like her for what
for what reason what gain is there for
you to pretend that you don't really
like it and that you've got no interest
in it you know there's the kind of cool
Chad looking guy who doesn't act but
just that isn't really that interested
in her and that's kind of attractive but
when it's inauthentic when you are
actually obsessively thinking about this
girl and you try and act too cool and
like pretend like oh I'm not gonna speak
to her like I'm gonna wait till the
right time it's not attractive bro and
the reason why we do that the reason why
we don't go and speak to these girls is
because we're just scared of rejection
because we're scared of like the bad
thing that could happen because we feel
quite fearful you can't be scared of
rejection because regret hurts more than
rejection not speaking to that girl that
you randomly see that one time that you
could have called approach hurts more
than you just going up to speak to her
and her just saying oh sorry I've got a
boyfriend so what should you actually
say when you're next to a girl that you
probably we already know the advice oh
you should ask questions and you should
be interested in them that advice is
like really basic and the guys who
follow it end up feeling that they're in
an interview with the girl and you
probably felt this too you've probably
felt that you've been in this one-sided
conversation where you're asking her
questions and she's answering and it
just feels like an interview maybe she's
asking you the question out of like
politeness you say like oh what's your
favorite type of music and she says oh
yeah like drum and bass what's your
favorite type of music yeah well I
really like 90s bro and the conversation
you know for a fact is not the kind of
one that she's having with Chad so what
conversation are these girls actually
having which sexually excites them and
it's definitely not the kind of one that
you're having which just feels like an
interview this is exactly what you do
instead of asking questions and making
your conversation with her kind of like
an interview you instead tease her
teasing a girl is far far more enjoyable
than going through like this dry boring
ass interview questions about what kind
of music do you like you tease her in
almost like a slightly mocking tone with
like a slight insult you don't want to
just tease her by saying oh yeah you're
a fat [ __ ] some [ __ ] but you want to
tease her in a way that's quite clear
really like not true so it's not going
to hurt her feelings for example with my
girl now that I'm dating for our first
date we sat in a cafe together and we
both had like a hot drink and we were in
Thailand right so we met in Thailand
she's wearing like this beautiful black
dress and this one Cafe was pretty warm
so she started to sweat as you know it's
normal to do in Thailand and I just
started making fun of her for sweating I
was oh you did squat in the in the
bathroom like to warm up before he comes
speaking to me and stuff and you know
she had like a bit of sweat and wiping
it off her and said oh you're so sweet
you know just teasing around with that
that made our conversation flow so well
to the point that I was leaving Thailand
that same day by the way that was my
last day on Thailand I literally just
had like a last minute date with this
girl it was so good she was meant to
stay in Thailand with a brother for like
months in the future we had such a good
time together on that day that she
literally left her travels early came
back to the UK to be with me so I made
such a great impression on our first
date because I focus entirely on this
kind of teasing light-hearted Vibe is
Sexual Energy before getting into the
more sort of serious conversation oh
[ __ ] me holy [ __ ] bro when I was in
university I was a [ __ ] boy right I was
good at sleeping with girls from like
Tinder and clubs and everything and me
and my one friend Levi we went out onto
this club night inside the club you know
we kissed girls and stuff but none of
the girls like were coming out with us
but we leave the club we're about to go
home we've got an Uber and we see these
two like cute looking like bro sexy
looking girls like hot looking girls it
was very interesting because the two
girls we saw were like exactly our type
so we go up and start spitting game to
these girls and we start telling them oh
you're not coming to Aruba come back to
our place and everything we all have
like music we got drinks and everything
and the girls are weighing it up now
yeah go on the girls are vibing us right
so we bring both girls back to our
apartments and I started kissing my
girlfriend with a black haired girl and
I bring her into my room and out of
nowhere bro the other girl walks in just
kind of like not interested she walks in
stops me and my girl and kind of tells
my girl come on Luke we're going I'm
like what the [ __ ] so what you know like
why is my friend not held it down come
on bro just take care of your girl for
like another five minutes bro all I
needed was five minutes bro he sat there
on his bed just looking defeated on my
bro what the [ __ ] all you have to do was
just like keep her busy like if you're
not gonna [ __ ] fine but like I was
about to bro what the [ __ ] like why is
your girl coming to my room and
interrupted me and taking her away and
they just went home now and he just
looks at me he's like oh bro I've got no
[ __ ] game like he usually is kind of
a smooth guy but this is literally what
happened this guy brings his girl into
his room and they sit there with like
the bright light on no music playing or
anything they just sat there at the edge
of his bed and he's just asking her
interview questions so like uh what kind
of music do you like
come around some of his girl just got
bored with the conversation literally
stood up left him came inside my room
just said oh yeah come on we're leaving
you can't be asking girls these boring
ass questions I know that sort of
conventional advice tells you that you
should take an interest in the girl and
you should ask her about her Hobbies bro
girls don't want to speak about their
Hobbies that's boring as [ __ ] they want
you to tease them to have like a little
bit of playful banter to like play
wrestle with each other they want you to
speak about like your work which you're
extremely passionate and ambitious about
do you want to know one of the single
conversations that I've had which has
increased a girl's attraction to me to
the sky limit is with this girl when I
told her about my plans for YouTube with
my leadership of this movement and I
looked her in the eyes and said that I'm
going to the top
do you want to join me imagine how
[ __ ] interesting how emotional that
makes a woman feel when you speak to her
in a certain way well you don't just ask
these little like you know silly
questions like oh did you do the
homework today what's your music typo
like just this like little weak ass bait
of mail sorry boy kind of like
conversations and instead you speak to
her like a man and a man either speaks
to a woman with like so much ambition
and tells her yes like I'm gonna make it
I'm gonna I'm gonna be so successful or
he speaks to her like he's almost like
playing around with her and he's just
kind of like laughing around with it
he's teasing her and stuff he doesn't
take us too seriously honestly most of
the conversations that I have with my
girl it's just me just teasing her and
that like I see her so bubbly so like
goofy so like laughing with me am I
pushing her onto the bed and everything
and they like that stuff they don't want
to be bored sat down next to a guy who's
saying oh what kind of music do you like
scroll down right now and click on the
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videos like this also click and watch
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especially when you don't feel like it
mwah
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