Coping with Depression and Anxiety | Dominique Larue | TEDxColumbusWomen

Summary

In this heartfelt speech, Dominique La Rue shares her personal journey of coping with depression and anxiety. She discusses the constant battle between self-doubt and self-assurance, and how she finds positive ways to manage her mental health through music, exercise, yoga, and self-care. La Rue emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment and choosing happiness despite the challenges. She concludes with a performance of her song 'Beautiful,' which reflects her commitment to embracing life and maintaining a positive outlook.

Takeaways

• 😊 Coping with depression and anxiety involves no off days; the speaker wakes up feeling very sad and sometimes cannot get out of bed.
• 😔 The speaker experiences a perpetual feeling of being stuck due to depression and anxiety.
• 🎶 Music is used as a coping mechanism, but it can sometimes contribute to depression.
• 💪 The speaker practices exercise and yoga as positive ways to cope, which helps with mental, emotional, and physical maintenance.
• 💧 Drinking water, exfoliating skin, and minding their own business are part of their self-care routine.
• 🧠 Understanding happiness involves experiencing sadness; the speaker has learned to revel in moments of feeling good and to remain in the moment.
• ⏳ The power of now is emphasized, as depression feeds off the past and anxiety feeds off the future.
• 🎂 On their birthday, the speaker decided to choose happiness for the next 365 days, even though they previously found the concept corny.
• 😌 The speaker accepts their sadness and does not view it as a weakness, aiming to choose happiness moving forward.
• 🎤 The song performed reflects the speaker's journey and decision to embrace happiness, progress, and the beauty of life.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the transcript?

The main topic discussed is how the speaker, Dominique La Rue, deals and copes with depression and anxiety.

How does Dominique describe the effect of depression and anxiety on their daily life?

Dominique describes feeling very sad upon waking up, sometimes being unable to get out of bed, and experiencing a constant struggle between wanting to die and questioning the implications of dying due to anxiety.

What are some positive coping mechanisms mentioned by Dominique?

Some positive coping mechanisms mentioned include using music, exercising, practicing yoga, drinking water, exfoliating the skin, and minding their own business.

How does Dominique describe their relationship with self-doubt and self-assurance?

Dominique describes it as a daily teeter between self-doubt and self-assurance, where one day they love a song they create and the next day they might hate it.

What negative coping mechanisms did Dominique mention they used in the past?

In the past, Dominique mentioned using self-destruction as a negative coping mechanism.

What does Dominique say about the relationship between experiencing sadness and understanding happiness?

Dominique believes that to truly understand happiness, one must experience sadness, and they have learned to revel in moments of feeling good.

How does Dominique view the concepts of the past, present, and future in relation to depression and anxiety?

Dominique views depression as feeding off the past and anxiety feeding off the future, emphasizing the importance of remaining in the present moment.

What decision did Dominique make on their recent birthday?

On their recent birthday, Dominique decided to try choosing happiness for the next 365 days, despite previously thinking it was corny.

What is the main message of the song performed by Dominique?

The main message of the song is about accepting flaws, striving for progress, and recognizing that life is beautiful despite its temporary nature and challenges.

What are some specific lines from the song that reflect the theme of progress and self-acceptance?

Specific lines from the song reflecting progress and self-acceptance include 'I'm accepting my flaws and that's why I'm going through it for the cause its life it's beautiful' and 'I need a little bit of progress, moving a little slow but it's the process.'

Outlines

00:00

😊 Coping with Depression and Anxiety

The speaker discusses their struggles with depression and anxiety, describing how these conditions often make it difficult to get out of bed and lead to a perpetual state of sadness and self-doubt. They share their coping mechanisms, including using music, exercising, practicing yoga, drinking water, and maintaining skincare. The speaker emphasizes the importance of experiencing sadness to truly understand happiness and the necessity of living in the present moment. They reflect on a recent birthday and their decision to choose happiness, despite previously dismissing the idea as unrealistic.

05:01

🎵 Finding Beauty in Music and Life

The speaker introduces a song that reflects their journey towards choosing happiness. The lyrics describe waking up with a scatterbrain and the process of piecing things together. They talk about the challenges and progress in their life, emphasizing the importance of accepting flaws, embracing the present moment, and the temporary nature of everything, including happiness. The speaker's performance highlights their resolve to remain positive and appreciate the beauty in life, despite the ongoing struggles with stress and uncertainty. The song serves as an affirmation of life’s beauty and a reminder to not take things for granted.

Keywords

💡Depression

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and loss of interest. In the video, the speaker describes waking up feeling very sad and sometimes unable to get out of bed, illustrating the debilitating effect depression has on their daily life.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a mental health disorder characterized by excessive worry and fear about everyday situations. The speaker mentions feeling trapped by anxiety, describing how it exacerbates their depression by introducing fears about the future.

💡Coping mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are strategies people use to manage stress and difficult emotions. The speaker discusses finding positive ways to cope with depression and anxiety, such as exercising, practicing yoga, drinking water, and minding their own business, as opposed to negative ways like self-destruction.

💡Self-doubt

Self-doubt involves a lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities. The speaker experiences self-doubt regarding their music, oscillating between loving and hating their creations, which reflects the instability in their mental health.

💡Self-assurance

Self-assurance is the confidence in one’s own abilities or character. The speaker contrasts days of self-doubt with days of self-assurance, indicating a fluctuating sense of self-worth influenced by their mental health conditions.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged with the current moment. The speaker emphasizes the importance of remaining in the present to combat depression and anxiety, noting that depression feeds off the past and anxiety feeds off the future.

💡Positivity

Positivity refers to maintaining a positive attitude and outlook. The speaker decides to adopt a more positive approach to life, especially after reflecting on their birthday, and commits to choosing happiness despite finding the idea initially corny.

💡Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one's own character and feelings. The speaker highlights the power of self-awareness in managing their mental health, focusing on staying aware of their emotions and actions in the present moment.

💡Music

Music is a form of art that uses sound as its medium. The speaker uses music as a tool for coping with their mental health issues, though they acknowledge that it can sometimes contribute to their depression. They share a song that reflects their journey and mindset.

💡Temporary

Temporary means lasting for only a limited period. The speaker mentions that everything is temporary, including emotions and situations, which helps them find solace in the idea that both good and bad times are fleeting.

Highlights

Discusses coping with depression and anxiety, emphasizing that there are no off days.

Describes feeling stuck in a perpetual cycle of sadness and inability to get out of bed.

Highlights the importance of finding positive ways to cope, such as music, despite it sometimes contributing to depression.

Mentions the daily struggle between self-doubt and self-assurance.

Talks about channeling negative emotions into positive activities like exercise, yoga, and self-care.

Shares the practice of drinking water, exfoliating skin, and minding one's own business as part of self-maintenance.

Reflects on the temporary nature of emotions and the necessity of experiencing sadness to understand happiness.

Emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment, as depression feeds on the past and anxiety on the future.

Mentions a birthday resolution to choose happiness for the next 365 days, despite previous skepticism about the concept.

Acknowledges that sadness is not a weakness and it's okay to feel sad.

Decides to take the next years to actively choose happiness and reflects this decision in a song.

Performs a song that reflects the journey of accepting flaws and striving for happiness.

Expresses a commitment to mental and emotional progress, despite the challenges.

Highlights the importance of self-awareness and self-acceptance in the journey towards happiness.

Ends with a reminder to not take life for granted and to appreciate its beauty.

Transcripts

good afternoon everyone so today I'm

going to talk about how I deal and cope

with depression and anxiety there's

really no off days for it you know I'll

wake up and I feel very sad sometimes I

can't get out of my bed you know my

depression sometimes I'm just like yo I

want to die and my anxiety is like but

what if you did die and so I'm just kind

of stuck in this perpetual feeling of I

can't get out my bed I know I need to do

something but I'm just kind of stuck so

what I do is I find positive ways to

cope with it now I use music obviously

but sometimes music can definitely

contribute to the depression you know

like every day is a teeter between

self-doubt and self-assurance you know

one day I enjoy and I love it

you know I'll create a song and love

everything about it and then the next

day I hate it I'm like I can't believe I

loved it at one point so like I say um I

find ways to cope with it not only

through music when I was younger you

know I would cope with it in a negative

way

you know self-destruction me and

self-destruction are good friends but I

learned how to channel it in a positive

way so one of the things I like to do is

exercise practicing yoga it's it's it's

maintenance its mental emotional

physical maintenance I also like to

drink a lot of water exfoliate my skin

and mind my damn business you know so

but you know everything is temporary so

I feel like to really know and

understand happiness you have to

experience sadness and I've been there

before so when I do find a moment of

when I'm feeling good and I want to

enjoy life I've learned to revel in it

to remain in the moment you know the

power of now right now being self aware

because right now is all we have you

know we can't go backwards

we can't go forwards you know depression

feeds off the past anxiety feeds off the

future so

if all I have is right now I have to

remain in this moment so the other day

was my birthday and normally I'm very

cynical even nihilistic sometimes to a

fault and the other day I just thought

to myself like I'm going to do something

a little bit different you know I have a

whole nother 365 days under my belt so

for these next 365 days I'm going to do

something different always thought it

was corny what people say choose

happiness but I'm gonna give it a shot

I've never done it before I'm like yo I

can't choose it like you know one day

I'm just sad and that's just what it is

I'm not gonna feel bad about my sadness

it's not a weakness but that's just what

it is you know but I'm going to take

these next days years and I'm going to

choose happiness so the song I'm going

to do is a reflection of that

[Music]

yeah woke up with a scatterbrain piece

it all together telling bang game and

then Peter ladies all I have to say and

if you ain't miss the waiter you can go

that away

yeah I'm a - Thank You Little Dipper but

I'm tired of this Widow sitting still

wishing but I'm looking out the window

feeling like bill withers and I gotta go

get the only way to tell with your arm

yeah and then say for everybody but this

is the day where you never stop me and

if I do a right then the better

I'll be so we take it dad I set my mind

free Oh bring now tell me how that sound

to you

yeah and if you feel it right now boo

you come and I'm accepting my flaws and

that's why I'm going through it for the

cause its life it's beautiful

don't let me forget what I do is vote

might we get off the plane today

hey I might but you should know hey you

should know my life is beautiful forgive

what I do

if oh I might take it all for granted

then lose it all

hey but I refuse listen hey listen

hey I need a little bit of progress

moving a little slow but it's the

process someday too little harder cuz

I'm stressed but it's all good so

knowing that I fly next go the next time

when I'm seen again

the reason why you see me cuz I see you

win new dawn new day let me breathe

again and I notice the place your I'ma

be again hey cuz everything is temporary

Oh happiness is fleeting it is getting

scary don't know what's next with a

different era because there's no one can

tell me um

hey you ain't said that night so myself

already know what's going to take going

now we'll get it at my mind that I'm

felt for saying when I'm dead and gone

you won't know to tell Hey

don't let me forget what I do if only my

clinking Oh for anything lose it all hey

whatever you sow you should know hey you

should notice I kiss you

[Music]

hey whatever you sow you should know hey

you should know look I put one foot in

front of the other one shine just like

the Sun in the summer I set the boxes

when I wanted discovering I don't want

it to plummet so I am gonna be tougher

hey a good one buddy buddy the other

doing the shine it's like the Sun in the

summer outside the box is what I wanted

this weapon out I wanted the plumbing so

why you'd wanna be suffer yeah don't let

me forget what I do it for my genome for

granted a little [ __ ] dog hey but I

refused so you should know hey you

should look like this beautiful don't

let me forget what I do is well I might

take it off a brand hit lose the dog hey

whatever feels so you should know hey

you should know don't let me forget what

I do it fo might take it all for granted

then lose it down hey whatever feels so

you should know hey you should know the

safe is beautiful so let me forget what

I do as well I may take it all for

granted then look

hey whatever P so you should know hey

you should know

hey hey you should know um that's all

that's called beautiful my name is

Dominique La Rue and that's my time

[Applause]