Handsome Men's Game - You Will Be Lonely
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker addresses the paradox of loneliness faced by handsome men despite their attractiveness. He explains that being above average in looks can lead to both admiration and isolation due to perceived unattainability and jealousy. The speaker emphasizes the importance of resilience and developing a discerning social circle to navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, suggesting that understanding and relating to others with similar experiences can be key to overcoming these challenges.
Takeaways
- 😎 Attractive men are often perceived as rare and stand out, which can lead to both positive and negative attention from others.
- 🤔 Women may feel intimidated or think they have no chance with an attractive man, leading to them avoiding interaction due to perceived competition or fear of boosting the man's ego.
- 🚷 Some men may resent attractive men because they represent an ideal they wish to achieve, leading to feelings of frustration and sometimes hostility.
- 🧐 Attractive men can internalize the negative experiences and start questioning their self-worth, despite receiving positive feedback about their looks.
- 🔄 The contradiction between being attractive and experiencing rejection or isolation can create confusion and a tendency to withdraw from social situations.
- 🏰 The speaker suggests that attractive men may feel a sense of disconnect, receiving superficial compliments while being ignored or dismissed by others.
- 🤷♂️ Isolation can become a default response for attractive men who don't know how to navigate the complexities of dating and social interactions.
- 💪 Developing resilience is key for attractive men to overcome the challenges they face, including learning to filter out negative influences and maintaining determination.
- 🔄 Attractive individuals may need to find a balance between being comfortable alone and actively engaging in social and dating life.
- 🤝 It's important for attractive men to keep their social circles tight to avoid the envy and potential backstabbing from others, focusing on building trust with a few close friends.
- 👫 Attractive men are more likely to connect with women who are also attractive and have faced similar challenges, as they can better understand each other's experiences.
Q & A
Why might a handsome man feel lonely or excluded?
-A handsome man might feel lonely or excluded because his attractiveness can lead to others perceiving him as unattainable or intimidating, causing both men and women to avoid him or feel insecure around him.
What is the foundational idea of being an attractive guy in the context of this script?
-The foundational idea is that being an attractive guy makes one rare and can separate him from the majority of the population, leading to both positive and negative attention.
How does being above average in looks affect a man's social interactions?
-Being above average in looks can make a man stand out, attracting attention but also potentially causing others to feel intimidated or insecure, which can affect social interactions negatively.
What kind of mindset can a handsome man develop as a result of feeling lonely or excluded?
-A handsome man might develop a mindset of isolation, becoming used to being alone or ignored, which can lead to a sense of disconnect and overthinking about what might be wrong with him.
Why might a successful and handsome man feel the need to 'dumb himself down' to fit in?
-A successful and handsome man might feel the need to 'dumb himself down' because he may feel ignored or dismissed by others due to his success and looks, leading him to wonder if he needs to appear less threatening or impressive to be more accepted.
What is the psychological impact of being attractive but facing rejections or negative experiences?
-The psychological impact can be confusing and frustrating, as it contradicts the positive feedback one receives about their looks, leading to a sense of isolation and a struggle to understand the mixed signals.
Why is it important for an attractive man to develop resilience according to the script?
-It's important to develop resilience because an attractive man will face confusing treatment and needs to maintain determination and a thick skin to continue pursuing his goals without being discouraged.
What does the script suggest about the types of women who might understand the struggles of an attractive man?
-The script suggests that women who are also attractive and have faced similar challenges might understand the struggles of an attractive man, particularly if they are confident and secure in themselves.
Why might an attractive man have difficulty discussing his dating experiences with other men?
-An attractive man might have difficulty discussing his dating experiences with other men because they may not be able to relate to or understand the unique problems and challenges he faces due to his attractiveness.
What advice does the script give regarding the social circle of an attractive man?
-The script advises that an attractive man should keep his social circle tight, filtering out those who might be envious or untrustworthy, and focusing on building connections with people of a higher caliber who can relate to him.
What is the potential danger of hanging out with men who are not good with women, according to the script?
-The potential danger is that these men might project their insecurities onto the attractive man, give bad advice that doesn't apply to his situation, or try to live vicariously through him, which can be detrimental to his own dating and relationship goals.
Outlines
🤔 The Paradox of Handsome Men's Loneliness
This paragraph delves into the unexpected loneliness that handsome men may experience despite their attractiveness. It discusses how being above average in looks can lead to isolation due to others' perceptions and reactions. Women might feel intimidated or believe they have no chance with such men, while men may feel threatened or resentful. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding this dynamic and not internalizing it as a personal flaw. It sets the stage for exploring the complexities of dating and social interactions for attractive men.
🧐 The Confusion and Isolation of Attractive Men
The second paragraph expands on the theme of isolation, highlighting the confusing signals attractive men receive in social and dating scenarios. It points out that while these men might receive compliments, they also face rejection and dismissal, leading to a sense of disconnect. The speaker suggests that the paradox of being attractive yet alone can be mentally challenging, especially for those with a logical, problem-solving mindset. It touches on the idea that isolation might be a default response to the frustration of not understanding this paradox, but emphasizes that humans have an inherent need for connection that cannot be ignored.
🤝 The Importance of Resilience and Selective Social Circles
This paragraph focuses on the necessity of resilience for attractive men navigating the complexities of social interactions. It discusses the importance of developing a thick skin and determination to overcome the negative experiences that can come with being attractive. The speaker also advises maintaining a tight social circle to avoid the envy and superficiality that can come from broader social interactions. The paragraph underscores the need for filtering out the wrong types of people and seeking those who understand and relate to the unique challenges faced by attractive individuals.
💑 Finding Understanding Partners and Navigating Social Dynamics
The final paragraph addresses the challenge of finding romantic partners who can understand the unique position of attractive men. It suggests that attractive women, who face similar challenges, might be more likely to empathize, but also notes that confidence and internal security play a significant role. The speaker warns against the pitfalls of seeking advice from those who do not share the same social experiences and emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with people of high caliber. The paragraph concludes with a call to resilience and effort in the pursuit of meaningful connections, without compromising one's own excellence.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Handsome Men's Game
💡Loneliness
💡Attraction
💡Exclusion
💡Resentment
💡Intimidation
💡Isolation
💡Insecurity
💡Resilience
💡Envy
💡Dumbing Down
💡Social Circle
Highlights
Handsome men can feel lonely, excluded, or ignored despite societal advantages of attractiveness.
Attractive men are considered rare and stand out, which can lead to both positive and negative perceptions.
Women may feel intimidated or believe they have no chance with attractive men, avoiding competition.
Some men may resent attractive men, feeling frustrated by what they wish to be.
Attractive men can internalize feelings of rejection, leading to overthinking and self-doubt.
The contradiction between being attractive and experiencing rejection can be confusing.
Attractive men may settle into a 'Lone Wolf' mentality due to the confusing social dynamics.
Isolation can be a default response for attractive men facing dating challenges.
Humans are biologically wired to desire connection, making isolation an unsustainable solution.
Attractive men should develop resilience to navigate the complexities of social and dating life.
Developing a thick skin and determination is crucial for attractive men facing negative perceptions.
Attractive men should seek out women with similar challenges and high self-confidence.
Attractive women also face unwanted attention and envy, making them potential understanding partners.
It's important for attractive men to maintain a tight circle of trusted friends to avoid superficial connections.
Attractive men should not dumb themselves down to fit in but seek higher caliber individuals.
The video suggests that attractive men should watch a follow-up video on understanding women's signals.
Transcripts
all right handsome men's game you will
be lonely in this video I want to talk
about why you as a handsome guy can run
into the problem of feeling lonely
excluded or ignored a lot of the time
this topic was inspired by some coaching
sessions I've had with guys lately that
are struggling with this exact thing and
in fact I just got off a call a few
minutes ago with another guy that could
relate to this problem wholeheartedly
and this whole thing can be confusing on
the surface because being attractive is
considered to be a net positive overall
but that doesn't mean that it doesn't
come without its own set of problems
especially in this current ERA of dating
and let's start here with the foundation
of what can go wrong and expand out from
there so stay with me throughout this
video because I'm going to build on each
point so the foundational idea of being
an attractive guy is basically that
you're rare because most people by
definition are average the average
person is average shocking right so by
being above average in the looks
Department you are automatically
separated from the vast majority of the
population and you stand out in both
good and bad ways the good ways are
obvious you're nice to look at so
women's rule over you in their mind and
guys want to look like you or be like
you but because of the way the human
brain works you're also placed into a
category in the minds of both men and
women before you even say a word I've
talked about this a bit more in my other
handsome men's game videos so I won't go
on too much about this part but the idea
is that because your looks are above
average women can sometimes feel like
they don't have a shot getting you or
that you're surrounded by hot women all
the time already and they don't want to
deal with that competition they may also
avoid talking to you because they don't
want to inflate your ego anymore at
least in their mind some guys will also
resent you at times because you're what
they wish they could be and it's
frustrating to them these are the types
of guys that leave angry black pill
comments on YouTube about how looks are
the only thing that matters when you
know for a fact that isn't the entire
story it's a great piece of the puzzle
to have but it doesn't complete the
puzzle but guys will sometimes feel
intimidated by you and not want to be
around you or they definitely won't want
their women around you and women will
feel like you're just out of their
league or a player or a narcissist or
all of the above my ultimate point is
that a portion of the time you will get
placed into a category that is viewed
negatively because you inspire jealousy
or an aura of being unattainable so
women will think why even bother trying
to talk to you in the first place now on
your side of things this can get in your
head like there's something wrong with
you if if you're not careful you can
start to internalize this and really
overthink things in the sense that
you'll start to wonder what is wrong
with you and why guys don't seem to want
to talk to you or women don't throw any
signals your way and they almost seem
turned off by you if anything if you
pair this with the positive feedback
that you're used to getting throughout
your life about your looks it becomes
really confusing because on one hand you
have people telling you that you're
really attractive but then in practice
it seems like you get more rejections or
have more negative experiences than than
anything it's an equation that doesn't
make sense on the surface how can you be
attractive but barely anyone talks to
you or women act like you don't exist
it's contradictory and it can create
this Habit to where you're used to being
alone or having people ignore you or
treat you in a weird way so you just
settle into that you start to get used
to being the Lone Wolf because it's
better than dealing with the weird Vibes
that you get from men and women and
that's where the lonely Journey comes
into play if you're an attractive guy
you may feel an overall sense of
Disconnect in different ways as you go
throughout life on one hand you'll get
superficial compliments from some people
but then ignored or easily dismissed by
others this can get even worse if you're
also a successful guy on top of being
good-looking and you'll start to wonder
if you need to dumb yourself down in a
way in order to fit in or be more
accepted by the men and women around you
for example I recently had a one-onone
call with a guy who's very successful
and honestly the guy could be a male
model if he wanted to he's got
everything dialed in on the surface but
he was saying that relationships with
women often fizzle out because their
insecurities start to flare and when
trying to find new women they often
don't give him the time of day and if
you saw this guy on the surface you'd
think he's probably got 20 supermodels
waiting for him at his house but it's
the complete opposite and instead he
feels alone and excluded this can
actually wreak a lot of havoc on an
attractive person's psyche especially if
you have a personality type that likes
to try and figure things out you know
like a very logical problemsolving
engineering type of mind because again
the equation here doesn't make any sense
you would think that the more attractive
you are the better everything becomes as
a result and in some ways that is true I
think it's better to be as attractive as
you can rather than not caring at all
but we are often sold an idea that
everything becomes smooth sailing across
the board if you're a stud and that just
isn't true in fact if I look back on my
own life a lot of the guys that I knew
that I considered to be good-look dudes
were not necessarily the ones getting
all the women in fact a lot of the time
it was the guy that was a few notches
lower in the looks Department because
that type of guy had a more approachable
vibe to him and other men just weren't
as threatened by that guy and because
this type of treatment doesn't make
sense logically it can be easy to fall
back into a mode of isolation because
that's just what we tend to do as humans
when the levels of pain confusion or
frustration are greater than the drive
to want to solve or figure out the
problem or in other words you become
overwhelmed with negativity and you want
to give up and we're seeing it all the
time now in the dating scene in general
too if I had a dime for every time
someone mentioned that they're just
going to focus on themselves I'd have a
mansion in Hawaii at this point and
since a lot of guys don't know how to
solve the dating problem at hand
isolation and focusing on yourself is
the default response now or it becomes
the default response for the guys that
just see dating as too much work that
isn't worth the time but in my opinion
it's the wrong response because we can't
escape our biological programming humans
are never going to stop Desiring
connection with other humans so opting
out of the dating scene is essentially a
CO hope that will eventually build a
powdered keg inside of you that will
just explode another way because we as
humans are essentially trapped inside of
a biological prison of desires you're
wired to procreate and be attracted to
women and that isn't going away no
matter what you consciously decide it's
like if you decided to stop eating food
today you know we'll see how you feel in
a couple of days when the hunger is
overwhelming you can't escape that
hunger because of your wiring as a human
and likewise the urge to become isolated
as a good-looking guy who is facing
these struggles may be tempting but it's
not a solution to the problem and before
I continue I don't want you to think
that I'm discrediting the idea of being
comfortable being alone because being
100% comfortable alone is a skill all
men should develop because it makes you
more secure and complete as a person
overall and that is attractive for quick
reference I helped a guy a couple years
back and when we started working
together he was out of shape physically
and he was in a relationship that he
didn't like at all but he didn't know
how to detach from that relationship
ship and to make a long story short I
helped him get out of that relationship
get in the best shape of his life and
then we worked on his dating life and
his options took off like crazy he was a
very coachable person so he did
everything I said and this dude went on
a dating spree that few others have he
had Endless Options honestly however the
more I worked with him the more I also
realized that he wasn't comfortable
being alone and a lot of the dating was
to cover up that loneliness element so
that became the larger problem to solve
so keep in mind mind that there's a
balance here between working on your
social and dating life but also needing
that Foundation of being comfortable
alone you need both but with all that
said you will have to keep your circle
tight as a handsome guy because the Envy
from other guys can get really annoying
in some cases and the guys out there
that have experienced this know exactly
what I'm talking about I spoke about my
grandfather in a previous video and he
was very well connected to a lot of
people throughout his lifetime and he
was a good-looking guy in his younger
years but he always kept his circle of
friends small he had men trying to
backstab him in his corporate and
personal life and he preferred to keep
his Circle to one to two good friends
than then his family otherwise and this
is the type of thing that you'll most
likely have to do as a guy who is
attractive or successful or both you may
have a larger circle of people that you
know or interact with but a lot of those
interactions will be superficial and
occasional most of the time they won't
be lasting connections with people that
you can trust and you'll notice that
you'll even question the actions or
things that people close to you say
sometimes which can really catch you off
guard like it may feel like they're
taking a stab at you or jealous of you
and this can happen sometimes even with
friends that you've had for years so
total isolation isn't the answer but
trying to be everyone's best friend
isn't the answer either you have to find
the middle ground and this requires a
critical attribute called resilience and
I know you already know what resilience
means but just for the sake of this
discussion I want to reference the
dictionary real quick just to be clear
on the definition resilience is defined
as the capacity to withstand or to
recover quickly from difficulties or the
ability of a substance or object to
spring back into shape and it will take
a surprising amount of resilience to
continue to push on and strive for more
as an attractive guy because of the
confusing treatment that you'll get at
times you're going to have to develop a
thick skin and a layer of determination
to your personality that motivates you
to keep pushing towards your dating and
relationship goals without being
discouraged you will have to get used to
springing back into shape and recovering
quickly and an aspect that connects to
all of this especially when it comes to
women is that you'll have to get good at
filtering out the wrong types of women
and develop a higher standard for the
type of women that will understand you
and that usually means an equally
attractive woman because a lot of
attractive women go through similar
problems beneath the surface attractive
women are showered with attention but a
lot of it is attention that they don't
actually want for example if you had 200
unattractive women hitting on you every
week you just get annoyed after a while
rather than feeling a huge boost in
confidence because you don't even want
the attention from those women in the
first place it's a similar thing with
these attractive women that get hit on
by some 65-year-old dude who's married
with three kids and follows 7,000 models
on Instagram because that's not a
desirable option to them in the first
place and those same women get hate from
other women who Envy them and they find
it hard to make deeper connections with
most people because of that so bringing
this back to you if you're an attractive
guy struggling with these issues the
type of woman who can really understand
where you're coming from is a woman with
similar challenges but there is some
Nuance to this too it's not an exact
science as much as it is an art it's not
like dating a 9 out of 10 girl is going
to guarantee you happiness because you
just both understand each other it has
more to do with the girl's level of
security and confidence in herself a N9
out of 10 who is confident in her looks
and herself will be able to understand
where you're coming from because she has
a similar experience but a woman who is
a 9 out of 10 who is a train wreck
internally isn't going to help anything
but if you do look around in society you
will notice that people tend to date in
their leag in terms of looks so just by
the sake of what's likely to happen you
will likely get along better with a
woman who is at least somewhat around
your level of attractiveness now again
this isn't a hard and fast rule it's
just something to consider because there
also may be a girl out there who isn't a
supermodel in the looks department but
she's solid internally and doesn't
battle the same insecurities that other
women will when they're with you but in
general it's going to be difficult to
find people that understand you or the
specific problems that you encounter you
will likely also find it's hard to talk
to other guys about certain dating
experiences or stories because a lot of
them won't be able to attract the women
you can or understand the different
problems that you have with finding a
quality girl that you're actually
interested in and that's because you're
playing a different game than them
you're not the average guy this is also
one of the dangers of hanging out with
guys that aren't good with women because
they can project their insecurities onto
you or give bad advice that doesn't make
sense for your situation or they'll try
to live through you vicariously if you
compare this to business it it' be like
a local small business owner trying to
tell Jeff Bezos how to run Amazon or
give Tim Cook advice on how to run Apple
the advice could be good but it's
probably not because they're playing
completely different games in the realm
of business and this goes back to having
a tight Circle and filtering men out
just like how you have to filter women
out if they aren't a good fit for your
life because a lot of them won't want to
see you win it's just that classic crabs
in a bucket mentality and if you've made
it this far in the video and you've
exper some of this type of treatment I
want you to leave a comment down below
and speak on it and as an attractive guy
you will just have to learn how to be
resilient while still putting in the
effort to get to where you want to go in
a lot of ways it will continue to be a
lonely Journey for you but it's
important to never dumb yourself down or
to try to appeal to a lower common
denominator just to fit in you shouldn't
snuff out the flame of Your Excellence
just to appease others instead you want
to seek out people that are of a higher
caliber and that understand and relate
to you because they're out there both
men and women and look when it comes to
women things can feel confusing and
frustrating especially with the women
that seem like they aren't paying any
attention to you at all which is why you
should watch this video next where I
talk about why women won't always throw
signals and signs your way as a handsome
man and how to go about solving the
problem in order to get the girl
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