(FIXED AUDIO) Kevin Breel: Confessions of a Depressed Comic at TEDxKids@Ambleside

TEDxYouth
28 Aug 201311:18

Summary

TLDRThe speaker candidly shares their struggle with depression, a condition often misunderstood as mere sadness. They describe the dual life they lead, outwardly successful yet inwardly suffering. The talk addresses the stigma surrounding mental health, urging society to break the silence and accept depression as a part of life. It calls for self-acceptance, understanding, and collective action to combat ignorance and intolerance, emphasizing that acknowledging our struggles is a step towards healing and hope.

Takeaways

  • 😔 The speaker has experienced living a double life, outwardly appearing successful and happy while privately struggling with depression.
  • 🤔 There's a common misconception that depression is only sadness due to negative life events, but true depression can occur even when life is going well.
  • 📉 The severity of depression is often underestimated because it's not openly discussed on social media or in the news, despite its prevalence and impact.
  • ⏰ The script highlights the alarming statistic that someone takes their own life due to depression every 30 seconds.
  • 🏆 The speaker's outward achievements, such as being a captain of the basketball team and an academically successful student, masked their internal struggle with suicidal thoughts.
  • 💔 The fear of revealing one's true self and the associated stigma often prevents individuals from seeking help for depression.
  • 🤐 The societal stigma around mental health conditions, including depression, leads to silence and isolation, exacerbating the problem.
  • 🌟 The speaker advocates for breaking the silence and speaking up about depression to challenge the stigma and promote understanding.
  • 🌱 The script emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the need to teach ourselves to be okay with our struggles and suffering.
  • 💪 The speaker believes in the power of community and solidarity in overcoming depression, suggesting that strength lies in acknowledging and addressing our vulnerabilities.
  • 🌈 The speaker expresses gratitude for the perspective and hope that their pain has given them, and calls for a world where struggles are acknowledged and shared.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the speaker's life story in the script?

    -The main theme of the speaker's life story is the struggle with depression and the duality of living a life that appears perfect to others while internally suffering intensely.

  • How does the speaker describe the misconception about depression to the audience?

    -The speaker describes the misconception about depression as being equated with sadness, which is a natural human emotion, whereas true depression is a persistent sadness that occurs even when everything in one's life is going well.

  • According to the speaker, what is the reality of depression that is often overlooked?

    -The reality of depression that is often overlooked is its severity and prevalence, with someone taking their own life due to depression every 30 seconds, a fact that is not commonly discussed or acknowledged in society.

  • Why does the speaker say it's difficult to talk about depression openly?

    -The speaker says it's difficult to talk about depression openly due to the stigma associated with it, which includes fear of judgment, ridicule, and the societal tendency to avoid discussing mental health issues.

  • What personal experience does the speaker share about their struggle with depression?

    -The speaker shares a personal experience of being suicidal, sitting on the edge of their bed with a bottle of pills and contemplating ending their life, highlighting the severity of their depression.

  • What does the speaker suggest is the first step in addressing the issue of depression?

    -The speaker suggests that the first step in addressing the issue of depression is recognizing that there is a problem, which society has not yet done, and that overcoming the fear and stigma around discussing it is crucial.

  • How does the speaker define the term 'stigma' in the context of depression?

    -In the context of depression, the speaker defines 'stigma' as the societal disapproval, shame, and misunderstanding that prevent individuals from seeking help and openly discussing their mental health struggles.

  • What message does the speaker convey about the importance of self-acceptance in relation to depression?

    -The speaker conveys the message that self-acceptance is vital, emphasizing that it's okay to have depression and that one's struggles do not define their worth or identity, but rather are a part of life that can be overcome.

  • What role does the speaker believe individuals who suffer from depression should play in combating stigma and raising awareness?

    -The speaker believes that individuals suffering from depression should play an active role in combating stigma and raising awareness by speaking up, shattering the silence, and being brave enough to share their experiences and struggles.

  • How does the speaker view the relationship between the challenges of depression and personal growth?

    -The speaker views the challenges of depression as a catalyst for personal growth, stating that their pain has given them perspective, hope, and faith, and that overcoming these challenges can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and others.

  • What does the speaker envision as an ideal society in terms of mental health acceptance?

    -The speaker envisions an ideal society as one where mental health issues are openly discussed, where people are not judged for their struggles, and where individuals are supported and accepted for who they are, embracing both their light and dark moments.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Hidden Struggle with Depression

The speaker opens up about living a double life, one perceived by others as successful and happy, and another where they silently battle with depression. They clarify that depression is not just sadness but a persistent state of unhappiness even when life appears to be going well. The speaker admits to having suicidal thoughts and emphasizes the severity of depression as a global issue, often overlooked due to its lack of visibility on social media and in the news. They share a personal story of a near-suicidal experience, highlighting the need for open discussion about mental health.

05:00

😥 The Stigma and Reality of Depression

In this paragraph, the speaker delves into the daily struggle of living with depression, likening it to a constant companion that cannot be easily dismissed. They discuss the normalization of physical ailments versus the stigma attached to mental health issues, particularly depression. The fear of judgment and societal stigma prevents many from seeking help, leading to a culture of silence. The speaker calls for a change in societal attitudes, urging for self-acceptance and the recognition of mental health as a legitimate concern that should not be ignored or brushed aside.

10:01

💪 Overcoming Stigma Through Open Dialogue

The final paragraph is a call to action, urging individuals to challenge the stigma surrounding depression and mental health. The speaker believes that strength lies in acknowledging and addressing our vulnerabilities rather than hiding them. They advocate for a collective effort to confront ignorance and intolerance, promoting a culture of understanding and acceptance. The speaker concludes with a message of hope, emphasizing the importance of empathy and shared struggle, and the belief that by standing together, we can overcome the challenges posed by depression.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Depression

Depression, in this context, refers to a mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. It is central to the video's theme as the speaker openly discusses his struggle with depression, contrasting the common misconception of sadness with the clinical condition. The script illustrates this with the speaker's personal experience, emphasizing that depression can affect anyone, even those who appear to be leading successful lives.

💡Stigma

Stigma denotes the negative attitudes and discrimination associated with a particular condition, in this case, depression. The video addresses the societal stigma surrounding mental health issues, which often prevents individuals from seeking help or openly discussing their struggles. The speaker points out the disparity in societal reactions to physical ailments versus mental health issues, highlighting the need to break the silence and challenge the stigma.

💡Suicidal

Suicidal refers to having thoughts or tendencies towards taking one's own life, often as a result of severe depression or despair. The script uses the term to describe the speaker's darkest moments, where he contemplated suicide, emphasizing the severity of depression and its potential consequences. It serves as a stark reminder of the urgent need for understanding and support for those struggling with mental health.

💡Mental Health

Mental health encompasses an individual's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It is a key concept in the video as the speaker discusses the importance of recognizing and addressing mental health issues like depression. The narrative illustrates the impact of mental health on a person's life and the societal ignorance that often surrounds it, calling for increased awareness and acceptance.

💡Silence

Silence in the video symbolizes the lack of open conversation and acknowledgment of mental health struggles, particularly depression. The speaker criticizes the silence that surrounds depression, arguing that it perpetuates misunderstanding and prevents those who suffer from finding support. The script calls for breaking this silence as a crucial step towards combating the stigma and addressing the issue.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability here refers to the state of being open to emotional exposure and the willingness to reveal one's weaknesses or struggles. The speaker discusses his fear of vulnerability, which kept him from sharing his true feelings and seeking help. The concept is integral to the video's message, advocating for honesty and openness as a means to overcome the isolation and misunderstanding associated with depression.

💡Ignorance

Ignorance, in this context, refers to a lack of knowledge or understanding about mental health, specifically depression. The video criticizes societal ignorance about mental health issues, which leads to misconceptions and a lack of empathy. The speaker argues that ignorance has created a world that does not understand or address depression adequately, calling for education and awareness to dispel this ignorance.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance in the video is the act of embracing oneself, including one's struggles and imperfections. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance as a means to heal and cope with depression. It is presented as a counter to the societal pressures to hide one's struggles and as a necessary step towards building a world where mental health is understood and respected.

💡Strength

Strength in the video is redefined from the traditional notion of invulnerability to one that includes the courage to face and admit one's struggles. The speaker argues against the idea that true strength means never showing weakness, asserting instead that acknowledging and dealing with one's problems is a sign of strength. This redefinition is part of the video's broader message to challenge societal norms and stigmas around mental health.

💡Honor Roll

Honor Roll traditionally refers to a list of students who have achieved high academic performance. In the script, being on the honor roll is used to illustrate the speaker's outward success and the common misconception that such achievements are indicative of happiness or lack of struggles. It serves as a contrast to his internal battle with depression, highlighting the disconnect between external achievements and internal well-being.

💡Social Media

Social media is mentioned in the video as a platform that often portrays a curated and positive image of life, lacking representation of serious issues like depression. The speaker points out that the absence of discussions about depression on social media contributes to the invisibility of the problem, emphasizing the need for more open and honest conversations about mental health online.

Highlights

The speaker describes living a dual life, one seen by others and one experienced privately.

The public persona includes being a friend, son, brother, stand-up comedian, and a teenager.

The private struggle is with intense depression, experienced for six years and ongoing.

Depression is often misunderstood as sadness, but it is a deeper, persistent state beyond external circumstances.

The speaker emphasizes the severity of depression, with someone taking their life every 30 seconds.

Despite outward appearances of success, the speaker once contemplated suicide.

The fear of revealing one's true self due to societal stigma is a barrier to seeking help.

The speaker calls for an end to the silence around depression and the need for open conversation.

Depression is likened to a roommate that cannot be evicted, a constant presence in one's life.

The stigma around mental health is compared to the acceptance of physical ailments.

The speaker challenges the societal ignorance towards mental health and the need for acceptance.

The importance of recognizing depression as a problem before seeking solutions is highlighted.

The speaker's personal story is used to demonstrate the internal conflict of living with depression.

Depression is framed as an issue, not an identity, and the speaker encourages self-acceptance.

The speaker expresses gratitude for the perspective and hope that depression has given them.

A vision for a world where people can openly share their struggles without judgment is presented.

The speech concludes with a call to action to fight against ignorance, intolerance, and stigma.

The speaker believes in the power of unity and open dialogue to overcome the challenges of depression.

Transcripts

play00:09

for the for a long time in my life I

play00:12

felt like I've been living two different

play00:15

lives there's the life that everyone

play00:19

sees and then there's life that only I

play00:23

see and in the life that everyone sees

play00:26

Who I am is a friend a son a brother a

play00:32

stand-up comedian and a teenager that's

play00:36

the life everyone sees if you're asked

play00:38

my friends and family to describe me

play00:39

that's what they would tell you and

play00:40

that's a huge part of me that is Who I

play00:42

am and if you're asked me to describe

play00:44

myself I'd probably say some of those

play00:47

same things and I wouldn't be lying but

play00:52

I wouldn't totally be telling you the

play00:53

truth either

play00:55

because the truth is that's just the

play00:57

life everyone else sees in life that

play01:01

only I see Who I am who I really am as

play01:06

someone who struggles intensely with

play01:08

depression I have for the last six years

play01:12

of my life and I continue to every day

play01:17

now for someone who has never

play01:20

experienced depression or doesn't really

play01:21

know what that means that might surprise

play01:23

them to hear because there's a pretty

play01:24

popular misconception that depression is

play01:26

just being sad when something in your

play01:29

life goes wrong when you break up with

play01:31

your girlfriend when you lose a loved

play01:33

one when you don't get the job you

play01:34

wanted but that's sadness that's a

play01:36

natural thing that's a natural human

play01:38

emotion real depression isn't being sad

play01:42

when something in your life goes wrong

play01:45

real depression is being sad when

play01:48

everything in your life is going right

play01:50

that's real depression and that's what I

play01:52

suffer from and to be totally honest

play01:56

that's hard for me to stand up here and

play01:57

say it's hard for me to talk about and

play01:59

it seems to be hard for everyone to talk

play02:03

about it so much so that no one's

play02:04

talking about it and no one's talking

play02:06

about depression but we need to be

play02:08

because right now it's a massive

play02:09

problem it's a massive problem but we

play02:14

don't see it on social media right we

play02:15

don't see it on Facebook we don't see it

play02:17

on Twitter we don't see it on the news

play02:18

because it's not happy it's not fun it's

play02:19

not light and so because we don't see it

play02:21

we don't see the severity of it but the

play02:25

severity over the seriousness of it is

play02:26

this every 30 seconds every 30 seconds

play02:30

somewhere someone in the world takes

play02:33

their own life because the depression

play02:35

and it might be two blocks away it might

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be two countries away it might be two

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continents way but it's happening it's

play02:39

happening every single day and we have a

play02:43

tendency as a society to look at that

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and go so what so what we look at that

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and we go that's your problem that's

play02:54

their problem we say we're sad and we

play02:58

say we're sorry but we also say so what

play03:00

well two years ago two years ago is my

play03:03

problem because I sat on the edge of my

play03:06

bed right sad a million times before not

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a suicidal I was suicidal and if you

play03:16

were to look at my life on the surface

play03:18

you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal

play03:20

you'd see a kid was the captain of his

play03:22

basketball team the Dromund feeder

play03:24

student of the year the English student

play03:26

of the Year someone who was consistently

play03:27

on the honor roll and consistently at

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every party so you would say I wasn't

play03:33

depressed you'd say it wasn't suicidal

play03:34

but you'd be wrong it would be wrong so

play03:37

I sat there that night beside a bottle

play03:38

of pills with a pen and paper in my hand

play03:41

and I thought about taking my own life

play03:43

and I came this close to doing it I came

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this close to doing it and I didn't so

play03:50

that makes me one of the lucky ones one

play03:52

of the people who gets to step out on

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the ledge and look down but not jump one

play03:56

of the lucky ones who survives

play03:58

well I survived and that just leaves

play04:00

with my story and my story is this in

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four simple words I suffer from

play04:04

depression

play04:06

I suffer from depression and for a long

play04:12

time I think I was living two totally

play04:18

different lives where one person was

play04:19

always afraid of the other I was afraid

play04:21

that people would see me for who I

play04:22

really was that I wasn't the perfect

play04:23

popular kid in high school everyone

play04:25

thought I was that beneath my smile

play04:27

there was struggle and beneath my light

play04:29

there was dark and beneath my big

play04:31

personality just hid even bigger pain

play04:34

see some people might fear girls not

play04:36

liking them back some people might fear

play04:38

sharks some people might fear death but

play04:39

for me for a large part of my life

play04:41

I feared myself I figured my truth I

play04:45

feared my honesty I feared my

play04:46

vulnerability and that fear and me feel

play04:48

like I was forced into a corner I was

play04:51

forced into a corner and there was only

play04:53

one way out and so I thought about that

play04:55

way every single day I thought about it

play04:59

every single day and if I'm being

play05:00

totally honest standing here I've

play05:01

thought about it again sense because

play05:03

that's the sickness that's the struggle

play05:05

that's depression and depression isn't

play05:07

chicken pox you don't beat it once and

play05:09

it's gone forever it's something you

play05:10

live with it's something you live in

play05:12

it's the roommate you can't kick out

play05:14

it's the voice you can't ignore it's the

play05:16

feelings you can't seem to escape and

play05:18

the scariest part is scariest part is

play05:21

that after a while you become numb to it

play05:24

it becomes normal for you and what you

play05:26

really fear the most

play05:28

isn't the suffering inside of you is the

play05:31

stigma inside of others it's the the

play05:33

shame as the embarrassment it's the

play05:35

disapproving look on a friend's face

play05:37

it's the so whispers in the hallway that

play05:40

you're weak it's the comments that

play05:41

you're crazy that's what that's what

play05:43

keeps you from getting help that's what

play05:45

makes you hold it in and hide it it's

play05:47

the stigma so you hold it in and you

play05:49

hide it and you hold it in and you hide

play05:51

it and even though it's keeping you in

play05:52

bed every day and it's making your life

play05:54

feel empty no matter how much you try

play05:56

and fill it you hide it because the

play05:57

stigma in our society around depression

play05:59

is very real it's very real if you think

play06:02

that it is and asking yourself this

play06:04

would you rather make your next facebook

play06:06

status say you're having a tough time

play06:07

getting out of bed because you hurt your

play06:08

back

play06:09

we're having a tough time getting out of

play06:11

bed every morning because you're

play06:12

depressed

play06:14

that's the stigma because unfortunately

play06:16

we live in a world where if you break

play06:18

your arm everyone runs over to sign your

play06:20

cast but if you tell people you're

play06:23

depressed everyone runs the other way

play06:24

that's the stigma we are so so so

play06:28

accepting of any body part breaking down

play06:31

other than our brains and that's

play06:34

ignorant

play06:34

that's pure ignorance and that ignorance

play06:37

has created a world that doesn't

play06:38

understand depression that doesn't

play06:39

understand mental health and that's

play06:41

ironic to me because depression is one

play06:43

of the best documented problems we have

play06:45

in the world yet was one of the least

play06:46

discussed we just push it aside and put

play06:49

it in a corner pretend it's not there

play06:51

and hope it'll fix itself well it won't

play06:54

it hasn't and it's not going to because

play06:57

that's wishful thinking and wishful

play06:59

thinking isn't a game plan it's

play07:01

procrastination we can't procrastinate

play07:02

on something this important the first

play07:07

step in solving any problem is

play07:10

recognizing there is one we haven't done

play07:12

that so we can't really expect to find

play07:14

an answer when we're still afraid of the

play07:17

question and I I don't know if the

play07:20

solution is I wish I did but I don't but

play07:22

I think I think it has to start here has

play07:26

to start with me it has to start with

play07:27

you it has to start with the people who

play07:30

are suffering the ones who are hidden in

play07:32

the shadows we need to speak up and

play07:34

shatter the silence we need to be the

play07:35

ones who are brave for what we believe

play07:37

in because if there's one thing that

play07:39

I've come to realize if there's one

play07:41

thing that I see is the biggest problem

play07:44

it's not in building a world where we

play07:47

eliminate the ignorance of others it's

play07:51

in building a world where we teach the

play07:52

acceptance of ourselves we're okay with

play07:55

who we are because when we get honest we

play07:57

see that we all struggle and we all

play07:59

suffer whether it's with this whether

play08:00

it's with something else we all know

play08:02

what it is to hurt we all know what it

play08:05

is to have pain in our heart we all know

play08:06

how important it is to heal but right

play08:09

now depression is society's deep cut the

play08:12

work content to put a band-aid over and

play08:14

pretend it's not there well it is there

play08:16

it is there and you know what it's okay

play08:19

depression is okay if you're going

play08:21

through it know that you're okay I know

play08:23

that you're sick

play08:24

you're not weak and it's an issue not an

play08:27

identity because when you get past the

play08:29

fear and the ridicule and the judgment

play08:31

and the stigma of others you can see

play08:32

depression for what it really is that's

play08:35

just a part of life just a part of life

play08:38

and as much as I hate as much as I hate

play08:42

some of the places some of the parts of

play08:44

my life depression has dragged me down

play08:46

too in a lot of ways I'm grateful for it

play08:48

because yeah it's put me in the valleys

play08:51

but only to show me there's Peaks and

play08:52

yeah it's dragged me through the dark

play08:54

but only to remind me there is light my

play08:57

pain more than anything in 19 years on

play09:00

this planet has given me perspective my

play09:02

hurt my hurts forced me to have hope

play09:04

have hope and to have faith faith in

play09:06

myself faith in others faith that they

play09:10

can get better that we can change this

play09:11

that we can speak up and speak out and

play09:13

fight back against ignorance fight back

play09:16

against intolerance more than anything

play09:19

learn to love ourselves learn to accept

play09:23

ourselves for who we are the people we

play09:25

are not the people the world wants us to

play09:27

be because the world I believe in is one

play09:30

we're embracing your light doesn't mean

play09:33

ignoring your dark the world I believe

play09:35

in is one we're measured by our ability

play09:37

to overcome adversities not avoid them

play09:40

the world I believe in is one where I

play09:43

can look someone in the eye and say I'm

play09:46

going through hell and they can look

play09:48

back at me and go me too and that's okay

play09:50

and it's okay because depression is okay

play09:53

we're people we're people and we

play09:55

struggle and we suffer and we bleed and

play09:57

we cry and if you think that true

play09:59

strength means never showing any

play10:01

weakness then I'm here to tell you

play10:02

you're wrong you're wrong because it's

play10:06

the opposite we're people and we have

play10:11

problems we're not perfect and that's

play10:12

okay so we need to stop the ignorance

play10:15

stop the intolerance stop the stigma and

play10:18

stop the silence we need to take away

play10:20

the taboos take a look at the truth and

play10:24

start talking

play10:27

because the only way we're going to beat

play10:31

a problem that people are battling alone

play10:34

is by standing strong together by

play10:39

standing strong together and I believe

play10:44

that we can I believe that we can thank

play10:47

you guys so much

play11:12

you

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