Fight Hopelessness and Find Your Purpose | Live From The Lair
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of 'Life in the Air', Terence Pop addresses the recurring question of dealing with hopelessness, a feeling exacerbated by societal and personal challenges. He discusses the impact of fatherlessness and the importance of life lessons that fathers traditionally impart. Pop promotes 'The Dad You Never Had' course by Aaron Clary, which compiles wisdom on life's purpose, work ethic, and personal finance among other topics. Drawing from his own experiences and hardships, including divorce, loss, and societal disillusionment, Pop offers practical advice on planning for oneself, finding purpose, embracing pain, maintaining humor, and playing the long game. He encourages viewers to persevere against societal and systemic biases, advocating for self-reliance and personal growth.
Takeaways
- 👨👦 The video discusses the impact of fatherlessness on men and the importance of learning life lessons that fathers traditionally pass on to their children.
- 📚 It promotes a course titled 'The Dad You Never Had' by Aaron Clary, which aims to provide the wisdom and guidance that some men may have missed out on due to absent fathers.
- 🔗 The course covers a range of topics including life's purpose, defeating laziness, developing a work ethic, personal finances, career management, relationships, and retirement planning.
- 💡 The speaker emphasizes the prevalence of hopelessness in men's lives, suggesting that it's an experience almost everyone will face at some point.
- 🤕 The script mentions various circumstances that can lead to hopelessness, such as grievous bodily injury, blindness, death of loved ones, divorce, and job loss.
- 🏠 It highlights the disillusionment with the 'American Dream' and the harsh reality that many people face, including financial struggles and the loss of freedom and opportunity.
- 💔 The video talks about the emotional toll of realizing that the traditional life path of a house, family, and stability is not achievable for many due to societal and economic factors.
- 👨🦰 The speaker shares personal experiences and observations about the challenges faced by men, including the impact of divorce, child custody battles, and the legal system.
- 💡 It encourages men to plan for themselves, keep their assets, and be somewhat 'selfish' in order to protect themselves in a world that may not have their best interests at heart.
- 🎯 The importance of finding a purpose in life is stressed, as it can help individuals navigate through difficult times and provide a sense of direction.
- 😂 Maintaining a sense of humor is presented as a crucial tool for coping with life's adversities and a means to stay resilient in the face of hopelessness.
- ⏳ The concept of 'playing the long game' is introduced, suggesting that patience and strategic thinking can help uncover opportunities over time.
Q & A
What is the main topic discussed in the video?
-The main topic discussed in the video is dealing with hopelessness and the challenges faced by men in today's society, including the impact of fatherlessness and the need for guidance and wisdom that fathers traditionally provide.
What is 'The Dad You Never Had' course mentioned in the video?
-'The Dad You Never Had' is a course by Aaron Clary that compiles the wisdom and advice of various red pill creators, covering topics such as life's purpose, defeating laziness, developing a work ethic, personal finances, career management, and more.
What is the significance of the course 'The Dad You Never Had' in the context of the video?
-The course is presented as a resource to help men who may not have had a father figure or who missed out on vital life lessons that fathers traditionally pass on to their children, aiming to provide guidance and advice to manage life successfully.
What are some of the common causes of hopelessness mentioned in the video?
-Some common causes of hopelessness mentioned in the video include grievous bodily injury, blindness, death of close ones, divorce, loss of children, loss of assets, and unfair treatment by the legal system.
How does the speaker describe the impact of the 'blue pill' mindset on men?
-The speaker describes the 'blue pill' mindset as a disadvantage that leads men into the world with a false understanding of women, relationships, and societal expectations, which contributes to feelings of hopelessness and being broken.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with the harsh realities of life?
-The speaker advises planning for oneself, keeping one's assets, rethinking life choices, taking action, finding a purpose, becoming friends with pain, maintaining a sense of humor, playing the long game, and embracing failure as a part of life.
What is the speaker's personal experience with hopelessness and how did he overcome it?
-The speaker shares his personal experience of going through a divorce, losing his kids, living on the street, and experiencing the death of his dog. He overcame hopelessness by starting a non-profit to educate men, finding a purpose, and using humor and resilience to move forward.
What is the role of humor according to the speaker in dealing with life's challenges?
-According to the speaker, humor is an essential defense mechanism against life's challenges. It helps in maintaining a positive outlook and can be a lifesaver in difficult times.
What is the concept of 'playing the long game' as discussed in the video?
-'Playing the long game' refers to being patient, taking time to navigate through life's challenges, and recognizing that opportunities will present themselves over time that can be capitalized on.
How does the speaker describe the societal and legal system's treatment of men?
-The speaker describes the societal and legal system as being programmed to disadvantage men, with laws and court rulings often favoring women and contributing to men's feelings of hopelessness and disenfranchisement.
What is the speaker's call to action for men who are feeling hopeless or broken?
-The speaker encourages men to keep going, maintain their sense of humor, and realize that everyone encounters hopelessness and failure. He also suggests sharing his video with others who may be struggling to help them find a way out of their despair.
Outlines
😔 Overcoming Hopelessness
The speaker, Terence Pop, addresses the recurring question of dealing with hopelessness. He acknowledges the impact of absent or inadequate father figures and introduces a course titled 'The Dad You Never Had' by Aaron Clary, which aims to impart the wisdom traditionally passed from fathers to sons. The course covers a range of topics including life's purpose, personal finance, and career management. Pop emphasizes the importance of this guidance, as it can help mitigate the despair caused by fatherlessness. He also shares personal experiences with hopelessness, suggesting that everyone faces it at some point and encourages viewers to seek wisdom and advice to navigate life successfully.
😠 The Reality of Disillusionment
Pop discusses the harsh realities that can lead to hopelessness, such as bodily injury, blindness, death of loved ones, and divorce. He mentions the societal and legal challenges men face, particularly in family courts, and shares stories of men losing their jobs due to false accusations. He talks about the disillusionment with the American dream and the realization that traditional aspirations are no longer achievable for many. Pop also touches on the limitations of freedom in the United States and the harsh consequences of minor legal infractions, illustrating how these factors can contribute to a sense of hopelessness and despair.
🤔 Rethinking Life's Paradigms
The speaker advises viewers to plan for themselves rather than relying on others, emphasizing the importance of self-reliance and financial independence. He shares a story of a man who successfully navigated a difficult divorce by becoming a subcontractor and managing his own finances. Pop encourages finding a purpose in life, using his own experience of starting a non-profit to educate men as an example. He also advises viewers to become comfortable with pain and loneliness, using them as motivators to strive towards one's goals. The speaker stresses the importance of maintaining a sense of humor as a defense mechanism against life's adversities.
💪 Strategies for Resilience
Pop outlines strategies for overcoming hopelessness and building resilience. He talks about the importance of playing the long game, networking, and seizing opportunities that arise over time. He also emphasizes the inevitability of failure and the need to persevere despite setbacks. Pop encourages viewers to maintain a sense of humor and to embrace stories of overcoming adversity. He ends with a call to action for viewers to share the video with others who may be struggling, highlighting the ongoing spiritual warfare against men and urging resilience and a positive mindset.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Hopelessness
💡Fatherlessness
💡Red Pill
💡American Dream
💡Blue Pill
💡Conditioning
💡Natural Tendencies
💡Selfishness
💡Pain
💡Sense of Humor
💡Long Game
💡Failure
Highlights
The speaker discusses the common issue of hopelessness and its causes, such as the absence of a father figure and the harsh realities of life.
Introduction of 'The Dad You Never Had' course by Aaron Clary, which compiles vital life lessons often taught by fathers.
The course includes topics like life's purpose, defeating laziness, personal finance, and career management.
Mention of the course being a compilation of wisdom from various red pill creators, offering a comprehensive guide for life.
The speaker shares personal experiences of overcoming hopelessness and the importance of not giving up.
Discussion on the impact of societal and legal systems that often disadvantage men, leading to hopelessness.
The speaker talks about the fallacy of the 'American Dream' and how it contributes to feelings of failure and hopelessness.
The importance of planning for oneself and being financially independent is emphasized.
Advice on rethinking life choices and taking action to manage personal life successfully.
The concept of 'blue pill thinking' is critiqued as a source of disadvantage and falsehood.
The speaker encourages embracing one's natural tendencies to provide and protect, but to apply them to oneself.
The importance of finding a purpose in life as a means to combat hopelessness is highlighted.
Becoming friends with pain and using it to one's advantage is suggested as a strategy for overcoming adversity.
Maintaining a sense of humor as a defense mechanism against life's challenges is recommended.
The strategy of playing the long game and being patient for opportunities is discussed.
The inevitability of failure and the importance of perseverance and continuous effort are emphasized.
A call to action for viewers to help others who might be experiencing hopelessness and provide support.
The speaker concludes with a message of resilience and the power of personal stories of overcoming adversity.
Transcripts
oh
[Applause]
all right everybody Terence pop here
with another episode of life in the air
and today I'm answering a question
that I have gotten uh I don't know at
least a couple hundred times since I
started this Quest and the question is
simply this what do you do about
hopelessness
wouldn't it be great to have pop as a
dad
well too bad we got the dads we got
still not everybody's dad was great let
alone good let alone present matter of
fact most of the problems we face today
are because we didn't have a dad
and if men don't get these vital lessons
fathers used to pass on to their
children Our Lives will be wasted
thankfully these lost lessons have been
conveniently recompiled in a course by
Aaron Clary titled the dad you never had
covering everything from life's purpose
defeating laziness developing a work
ethic personal finances career
management women retirement planning and
much much more the dad you never had
compiles the fatherly wisdom of red pill
creators such as Rola tomasi Rich Cooper
Aaron Clary and even pop himself into an
intense and thorough 12-hour course it's
the easiest and quickest way to get up
to speed and get on with living life
it's no substitute for a real father but
it is the wisdom and advice you need to
manage your life successfully and end
the misery fatherlessness has reeked
upon your life and Society so get the
road map to a better life take the dad
you never had today your life is just
too precious not to available on
teachable.com use the discount code Mike
is cool to get 10 off link is in the
meat gazer box
everyone out there
I don't care who the hell you think you
are
at some point you are going to encounter
hopelessness and dare say it will break
you I have been there quite a few times
trust me luckily it didn't uh you know I
didn't pay the ultimate price
I had a former Commander take a bullet
uh that was meant for me I've literally
crawled my way back from this I've done
videos in the past that touched on this
kind of in a roundabout kind of way
but this one I'm I'm addressing it
directly what circumstances you know
cause hopelessness Grievous bodily
injury
blindness
uh you know a death of close ones
divorce what have you
all right now when it comes to like
Grievous bodily injury everyone has
their own limit if your body is broken
to the point where you're done well
I understand but most of the time what
breaks you
can causes hopelessness in today's day
and age divorce loss of children loss of
assets the one-way hallway of the courts
that just benefit women hand over fist
it is what it is uh there's lots of guys
out there I talk to like two or three
dudes a week who got fired because some
you know female employees complained not
a shred of evidence
you know it is what it is I I talked to
one guy and on the statement that the
female employee made the dude was on
vacation
that sucks you know I I can't tell you
how many times in the Army when
I got stuck doing just reprehensible
[ __ ] I literally had quite a few uh
team leaders Squad leaders platoon
sergeants looked me in the face and go
hey Pop life is not fair
figure it out deal with it so when we
start off
you know most of us grow up with uh you
know believing in the American dream you
know the house the two cars you know two
kids one dog half a cat
got it that doesn't exist anymore and
most guys don't find out until they hit
reality here they get the cold Fisher
reality slap across the face
next you think we have all these
freedoms here in the United States well
uh everything you do is taxed uh there
are so many laws on the books I they can
literally go into anyone's house
and put you in prison for 10 years dick
pills that's five uh some states if you
have a personal use marijuana plant
there's no victim that's three years and
this happened to a guy I talked to he he
dyes his hair like me and they give you
those little uh
plastic capsules and just for men that
have the plastic gloves in them well he
saved them
he was growing a pot Tree in his in his
house and it was a fairly big kind of
thing and it kicked his door and they
found the pot plant it went into his
bathroom
and found this little uh ampules and
they said well you know he's intended to
distribute
five years there is no Freedom anymore
all right and this is going to be a big
one here that's going to wind up kicking
off the two-way rifle range all right
there's a lot of people out there
who are extremely unhappy with what's
going on and they're quite literally
just that one spark is going to set it
off and
blue pill thinking
now this happened to me I mean I grew up
a single mother everything she told me
about women and what women wanted and
how to act and What to Do complete lie
all I can say is you if you think with
the blue pill mindset you were literally
going into the world with a disadvantage
now you add that to coming from a single
a home where only a single mother was
that's a disadvantage squared
all right and if you're poor on top of
that it's cubed it just gets worse
this blue pill thinking has got to
change because if you could change this
early enough you can avoid a lot of
hopelessness next conditioning
everything you watch on TV there are
messages in the commercials there's
messages in the TV show the movies what
have you conditioning you to act think
and be a certain way and mainly
the conditioning supports the blue pill
thinking next
a man's natural tendencies which is
basically
provide protect and fix most of the time
if you have a woman in your life and she
comes to you with a problem
and she starts you know flapping at the
gums the first thing most men do is go
who do I know that can help fix this do
I have the tools to fix this what's this
going to cost how long will it take that
is what we're thinking
because it's hard wired into our brains
and that's the key
use the natural tendencies that the
Universe gave you but apply them to your
self
and I'll explain so here we are you're
starting off you hit reality get
divorced lose your kids wind up living
in the street it all happened to me
ex-wife killed my dog got a complete
goddamn pass he was six years old
121 pound uh chocolate lab never saw him
again got three different stories and
we've all watched enough crime drama on
TV to know when the story changes the
end result is almost always bad all
right so you get across here you get hit
with reality you realize the American
dream is dead so that's another anchor
that pulls you down listen it is
crushing when you finally learn that the
house wife two kids one dog half a cat
and two cars it's not in the cards for
you
that is monumentally crushing you
realize because FICA takes 40 percent of
your check
there is no goddamn freedom
and some dude can take out a wooden
Mallet hit it on a desk and take all
your money with no compassion to you
whatsoever that is why we have so many
men who are homeless and many of them
are veterans and then you realize the
blue pill was nothing but a huge goddamn
lie
and that causes a lot of anger the
hopelessness the anger breaks a lot of
men and they wind up all right and
listen I get it that's a lot of pain
and I have become chair on
and I literally can navigate the river
of sticks which is pain and I've been
back and forth many times I know exactly
what I'm talking about uh you're
conditioning
made you into a slave and you realize
this
again this contributes to you know
breaking your mindset and causing
hopelessness and then you have the
natural tendencies provide and protect
end result you hit there you get on the
other side of reality all this [ __ ] hits
you you wind up hopeless and broken
a lot of guys get here
and they're literally like I can take no
more I am punching the [ __ ] out okay you
can do that
but I highly advise against it what can
you do to combat this feeling from
getting your ass kicked by reality and
learning everything you were taught in
the first part of your life is complete
hogwash [ __ ]
what can you do well here it is plan for
yourself
don't make plans thinking well you know
if I do this I get another girlfriend
and I get no no no no no no what you're
doing right there when you start
thinking like that is you resetting your
own ass kicking
you are setting The Mousetrap to kick
your ass again in the future plan for
yourself
keep your Goddamn money that you make
keep all your assets that you make after
this particular event happens in your
life
plan for you be [ __ ] selfish
because in today's day and age
there is no benefit
to you know being a giving person you do
that today's day and age most people
look at you as a sucker rethink your
life and take some [ __ ] action case
in point I talked to a guy about six
years ago
he was a plumber
got divorced he was getting royally ass
raped
you know after the divorce lost his
house he was getting like 60 percent of
his money taken
and he you know basically
came up with a plan
started his own LLC
and then
he went to his you know main employer
and said hey look this is what's going
on I'm getting crushed by this divorce
horse [ __ ] from now on
um is it okay if you just pay me through
my own company as a subcontractor
and then I can you know navigate the
whole child support horseshit [ __ ]
Fiasco
and his employer was like cool yeah no
problem and he wound up
you know doing that for you know I think
three other Big Plumbing firms in the
area as is some contractor
and within three years of doing that you
know he was in charge of his books and
his expenses and he was able to get the
child support lower to a manageable
level
and it worked out for him do I consider
that a dirty trick no I do not but a lot
of women on the other side do
they don't they want you guys to be
hopeless broken so they can manipulate
you and just drain you drive your
resources all right find a purpose
my main purpose
when I got uh ass raped with my reality
check
as I started a non-profit to educate men
on the dangers of marriage and feminism
and as a side effect which was a
pleasant surprise
by speaking the truth having facts using
logic and reasoning and remaining calm
I pulled 520 people
out of the Hopeless broken pile and they
reforged their lives and I hope they go
on to do great things truly I do next
become friends with pain emotional pain
spiritual pain physical pain it doesn't
matter in my instance
emotional pain is three times worse than
any physical pain I've ever encountered
absolutely crushing
but once I accepted the fact
that this is going to require pain
and I'm like okay you know I could take
the pain
and I kept moving forward marching
forward
I was able to tolerate a lot of
horseshit
I'm talking deep betrayals loss of
friends
you know
assets homelessness you have no home you
you're literally on your own that sucks
become friends with pain loneliness is a
form of pain embrace it use it to your
advantage
all right use that loneliness and the
time it gives you to perfect
and strive towards your purpose your
purpose could be a goal it could be how
I want to be I want to be 10 million
dollar millionaire and retire at 55. got
it keep your sense of humor all right
now this is probably one of the most
important ones here now I'm not a
stand-up comedian I've tried and I
literally can't get stage time because I
have the wrong politics
and the wrong skin color
so you know unlike stand-up comedians
they get in front of guys at a club
there's usually a two drink minimum half
or two one-third of the individuals show
up already baked from Samari Jane do you
wanna getting last set of people like
that are a little more easy
in my opinion
I did my comedy looking other men in the
face
who were terrified
crushed broken hesitating and then after
I got those guys to laugh I turned
around and led them in a battle
the sense of humor is the ultimate
defense against the universe and you
need to develop that
because it will save your life all right
next play the long game I made a whole
video about play the long game yeah
granted everything is stacked against
you it sucks right now you got just a
little bit of wiggle room we'll play the
long game play for time
because guess what time does
time always
reveals opportunities to you
capitalize on them
don't allow a defeatist mindset from
being broken to keep you from doing it
trust me
it always happens
you start networking you talk to a
couple guys one guy's hey I need a dude
you know who can do this you're like hey
I can do that you step into the role you
build off that that's an opportunity
time gave you and you won't get that
opportunity if you punch out early all
right next
failure happens keep [ __ ] going we
all fail everyone I've failed I've been
knocked into the sea of mediocrity more
times than I can remember and each and
every time I crawled my ass out of there
because there is no place for me there
and many times I was covered in my own
goddamn blood it's just that simple
all right now these Concepts
you know listen I could give an hour
briefing on this and then talk about all
the details and listen I'm a grunt I'm
not doing that I'm not a professor
you know I'm just a grunt an old first
sergeant
I've spent 33 years looking into the
faces of dudes and some female soldiers
and and helping them deal with
hopelessness and being broken
so I have a little experience in this so
gentlemen if you're out there watching
this and you have a friend of yours
who's stuck in this mindset send them
this video please I'm trying to get that
number to go up on the board
because guess what
there's a spiritual warfare going on out
there as we speak and it's been going on
for a long time
and roughly since the 1970s it got the
upper hand virtually every law in this
country
every Court you go to Every police
officer you encounter they are all
programmed to hate you as a man to put
the boot on your neck as a man so
what I'm trying to say is this
keep going
keep your sense of humor
all right and realize everyone
encounters hoping that hopelessness
everyone fails
all right who wants to read the book
where the main character wins every uh
encounter bangs the the prom queen
marries Miss America has a hundred
million dollars a garage is full of
Bugattis and Porsches that's a boring
book
I like to read the story about the guy
who got his [ __ ] ass kicked
brushed himself off
got up and said okay
next one's on me
and then he puts that [ __ ] on
his ass I love those stories be that
story man I'll talk to you later
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
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