ARE YOU FEELING BEHIND IN LIFE? | This Video Will Help

Summary

This video addresses the common feeling of being behind in life due to social comparisons, particularly exacerbated by social media. The speaker explains that societal and cultural standards, not religious ones, create undue pressure to achieve certain milestones. By understanding that everyone has unique circumstances and that true success is measured by personal growth and striving to please Allah, viewers can find peace and contentment in their own journey. The video encourages viewers to focus on their individual paths and reminds them that there is no one correct way to live life or attain Jannah.

Takeaways

• 📉 Comparing yourself to others' milestones can make you feel behind in life.
• 💡 Social comparison theory explains how we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
• 📱 Social media exacerbates feelings of inadequacy due to idealized portrayals of life.
• 🗓️ Cultural and societal standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, reinforce the feeling of being behind.
• 🔄 Everyone's life journey is unique; it's unfair to compare different life circumstances.
• 🌟 Islam does not prescribe specific timelines for life events like marriage, children, or career milestones.
• 💪 Embrace your own unique journey and appreciate your individual path.
• 👥 Talking to those you compare yourself to can reveal their hidden struggles and help you feel more content with your life.
• 🙏 Our ultimate purpose is to please Allah, and there are infinite ways to attain Jannah.
• 🛤️ There is no one right way to live life; striving for the highest level of Jannah is what truly matters.

Q & A

Why do people often feel behind in life?

People often feel behind in life because they compare their accomplishments with others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

What is the social comparison theory?

The social comparison theory suggests that we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we engage in upward comparison.

How has social media impacted feelings of being behind in life?

Social media has worsened feelings of being behind in life by idealizing portrayals of life, increasing anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

What are some societal pressures that contribute to feeling behind in life?

Cultural and societal standards, parental expectations, and peer pressure all reinforce the feeling of needing to meet specific milestones, contributing to feeling behind.

Does Islam prescribe specific life milestones like marriage or having children by a certain age?

No, Islam does not prescribe specific life milestones such as getting married, having children, or graduating by a certain age. These pressures are man-made.

Why is it unfair to compare ourselves to others?

It is unfair to compare ourselves to others because everyone has unique circumstances and opportunities, making direct comparisons invalid.

How can constant comparison affect our perception of our own lives?

Constant comparison can lead to missing out on appreciating our own unique journey and opportunities, making us feel ungrateful and dissatisfied.

What should you do when you feel behind in life?

When feeling behind, talk to the people you're comparing yourself to and understand their full picture. This can help you realize that everyone has their own struggles and unique journey.

What is the ultimate purpose of life according to Islam?

According to Islam, the ultimate purpose of life is to please Allah, and there is no single prescribed way to achieve this.

Why is it important to remind ourselves that societal standards do not dictate our success?

It is important because societal standards are man-made and not aligned with the spiritual goals set by Allah, who offers multiple ways to achieve success in life and the hereafter.

Outlines

00:00

🏃‍♀️ Overcoming the Feeling of Being Behind in Life

The speaker reflects on the feeling of being left behind in life due to social comparisons. They share their personal experience of feeling inadequate when comparing themselves to others achieving milestones like marriage, career advancement, and having children. The speaker introduces the concept of 'social comparison theory,' which explains how comparing oneself to others leads to feelings of inadequacy, especially exacerbated by social media. They argue that societal and cultural standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, create unnecessary pressure to meet certain life milestones. The speaker emphasizes that in Islam, there is no prescribed timeline for these milestones, and society's pressure should not dictate one's sense of progress. The uniqueness of individual journeys and the idea that creativity stems from these diverse paths are highlighted. The speaker concludes that true fulfillment comes from appreciating one's own journey and not comparing it to others.

05:01

🧭 Embracing Your Unique Journey

The speaker discusses how constant comparison to others can make individuals feel bad about their own lives. They share insights from their coaching experience, noting that even those who seem to have perfect lives face their own stresses. A significant tip offered is to engage with the people you compare yourself to, as understanding their full story can help alleviate feelings of inadequacy. The speaker reiterates that life's ultimate purpose, according to Islam, is to please Allah, and this purpose transcends societal standards. They stress that achieving paradise (Jannah) is not dependent on following a specific societal prescription but rather on living a life that pleases Allah. The speaker concludes by encouraging viewers to ask themselves whether they feel behind according to societal standards or in their relationship with Allah, emphasizing that the latter is what truly matters.

Keywords

💡Comparison

Comparison refers to evaluating oneself by measuring against others' achievements or life events. The video explains that this habit stems from social comparison theory, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression, especially when influenced by social media. The speaker emphasizes that such comparisons are unfounded because everyone's life journey is unique.

💡Social Media

Social media platforms are highlighted as major contributors to the feeling of being behind in life. The video cites research showing increased anxiety and depression due to idealized portrayals of life on these platforms. The speaker advises against frequent social comparisons on social media to avoid these negative emotions.

💡Cultural and Societal Standards

These are the expectations and norms set by society regarding life milestones such as marriage, career progression, and having children. The video argues that these standards are man-made and not prescribed by religion, suggesting that adhering to them can lead to unnecessary stress and feelings of inadequacy.

💡Parental Expectations

Parental expectations are the pressures parents put on their children to achieve certain milestones by specific ages. The video mentions this as a contributing factor to the feeling of being behind in life, reinforcing societal standards and adding to personal stress.

💡Islamic Perspective

The video discusses life through the lens of Islam, emphasizing that there are no set prescriptions from Allah regarding life milestones. It reassures viewers that as long as they are living a life that pleases Allah, they are not behind, countering societal pressures with religious teachings.

💡Unique Journey

The concept of a unique journey stresses that each person's life path is distinct and incomparable to others. The speaker encourages viewers to appreciate their individual experiences and contributions, arguing that such uniqueness is essential for creativity and progress.

💡Milestones

Milestones refer to significant life events such as graduating, getting married, or buying a house. The video challenges the societal pressure to achieve these milestones by certain ages, stating that these timelines are arbitrary and not a measure of success in life.

💡Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are emotional responses often resulting from comparing oneself to others and trying to meet societal standards. The video highlights that even those who seem to have achieved societal milestones experience their own stresses, suggesting that no life path is free from challenges.

💡Gratitude

Gratitude involves appreciating one's own life and circumstances rather than focusing on comparisons with others. The speaker advises viewers to be grateful for their unique journeys, as this mindset can alleviate feelings of being behind and enhance life satisfaction.

💡Purpose

Purpose in the video refers to the ultimate goal of pleasing Allah and striving for the afterlife (Jannah). The speaker emphasizes that this should be the primary focus, rather than societal milestones, as it provides a more meaningful and less stressful measure of success.

Highlights

Watching other people move forward in life can make us feel behind if we are not accomplishing the same milestones.

The habit of comparison, rooted in social comparison theory, leads to feelings of inadequacy.

Social media exacerbates feelings of inadequacy by idealizing portrayals of life.

Cultural and societal standards, along with parental expectations and peer pressure, reinforce the cycle of feeling behind.

Islam does not prescribe specific timelines for life milestones such as marriage, having children, or career progression.

Everyone has their own unique journey, and comparing oneself to others overlooks this individuality.

Creativity and progress stem from people following their own unique paths rather than adhering to a single prescribed life path.

Feeling behind in life often involves comparing different life circumstances, which is unfair and unrealistic.

Every person has their own hidden struggles and sorrows, making comparisons even less valid.

Comparing yourself to others can lead to ungratefulness for your own unique journey and missed opportunities.

A conversation with those you compare yourself to can provide a fuller picture of their life and reduce feelings of inadequacy.

We are on this Earth to please Allah, and there is no single path to achieving this.

Islam provides an equal opportunity for everyone to attain Jannah, regardless of their life circumstances.

In Jannah, the path taken to get there will not matter; what matters is the attainment of Jannah itself.

Striving for the highest level of Jannah and pleasing Allah is what ultimately matters, not societal standards of success.

Transcripts

watching other people move forward in

their life accomplishing big things such

as getting married or moving up in their

career or having children or buying a

house all of that really makes us feel

like we are behind in life if we're not

accomplishing those same things we feel

behind in comparison to these people and

I personally I've been there so many

times and it's made me feel so bad about

myself until I heard this piece of

advice that helped me overcome this

feeling and to finally accept and

realize that I am actually not behind in

life and none of you actually are behind

in life and so in this video we're going

to be talking about what does it even

mean to be behind in life and then what

is that piece of advice that will help

you realize that you are not behind in

life asalam alaykum and welcome back to

my channel where we talk about personal

development through the lens of Islam

and we work to live our most resilient

and purposeful lives so first let's talk

about what does it even mean to be

behind in life so the feeling of being

behind in life actually stems from the

habit of comparison which is a behavior

that's rooted in something called a

social comparison Theory which basically

says that we evaluate ourselves by

comparing to others which then leads to

feelings of inadequacy when we engage in

upward comparison and this tendency has

actually been worsened by social media

where researched by the Royal Society

for public health shows increased

anxiety depression and loneliness due to

idealized portrayals of life and also

studies in computers in human behavior

further link frequent social comparisons

on social media to higher levels of

depression and anxiety so what does that

mean the more you open social media and

watch other people's lives the more you

will begin to hate your own life and on

top of that cultural and societal

standards along with parental

expectations and also peer pressure

reinforce the cycle making us feel

compelled to meet specific Milestones

which if you think about it where did

these Milestones even come from where in

Islam does it say that you must graduate

college by a certain age or you must get

married by a certain age or you must

find a job by a certain age or you must

have children by a certain age and so

and so this is completely man-made Allah

has in no way put pressure on us for

these things there is no perfect

prescription that Allah has prescribed

to us on how to live our life when to

get married when to have kids when to

graduate when to go to college when to

get a job none of that so if our own

religion is not pressuring us to catch

up to this imaginary standard then why

is it that we have allowed Society to

put this type of pressure on us why is

it that we feel so behind in our lives

we constantly compare ourselves to

people who have completely different

lives than us they have completely

different circumstances two siblings

cannot even share the same life so how

can two people with completely different

backgrounds share similar lives and

what's happened is that with all this

comparison and feeling behind in life we

have actually forgotten to appreciate

our own uniqueness and our own Journey

if everyone lived the same life then

we'd have no creativity if everyone went

to college at the same age and they all

graduated at the same age they got

married at the same age had kids at the

same age then imagine we would not have

any type of creativity everyone would

just be following this very

straightforward one path life some of

the biggest things in life have come out

of people who did not follow the

prescription the world the reason why

the world is progressing as fast as it

is is because people are on their own

journey and they're doing their own

thing and as cliche as it sounds you're

actually only in competition with

yourself you cannot compare yourself to

others because because no one has your

unique life for example let's say being

behind in life meant you didn't have

children before the age of 30 okay let's

just say that is cu a lot of people

believe that a lot and I myself believed

that for the longest time as well is

that you are behind in life if you are

not a mother before the age of 30 if

you're a mother after the age of 30 well

you you are late in some way you are

just late I don't know how we came up

with that I don't know how we made that

up but a lot of us walk around believing

that having kids after 30 means you're

late and so if that is the standard if

that's the standard that Society has set

is it fair to compare someone who lost

both their parents and is divorced and

compar them to someone who has healthy

parents and is in a healthy marriage

they both have very different

opportunities of becoming a mother

before the age of 30 it is not fair to

compare both of them to each other and

say one is ahead one is behind no

they're both on their own Journey the

one who is divorced and lost their

parents they're doing something else

with their lives which maybe makes them

ahead in life in their own unique way

and the person who has healthy parents

and is in a marriage and has is having

children they're ahead in their life in

some unique way right there is no

comparison between the two you cannot

say one's behind one's ahead because you

can't compare oranges to Apples right

there's no comparison they're completely

two different fruits and we also have to

remember that every person that you are

comparing yourself to has their own

hidden struggles and their own Sorrows

so when you compare yourself to others

you are in fact being ungrateful for

your own unique journey and you're

missing out on experiencing life to the

fullest because you're too busy

comparing and you're too busy feeling

bad about yourself or feeling behind in

your life and you're not taking

advantage of the opportunities that you

have in the position that you are in

currently and I have spoken to so many

Muslim women through my work of coaching

and I'm telling you from experience that

there is not a single person that I

spoke to that was living a stress

stressfree life even those who are

married young and had children young and

bought a house and have a good career

they still have different types of

stresses in their life and you know a

really big tip that I would actually

give when you're feeling behind in life

and you're comparing yourself to other

people is to go talk to the people that

you're comparing yourself to because I

can almost guarantee when you actually

get the full picture of what their life

is like you will not feel behind

compared to them you will not feel bad

about your life in comparison to them

because you will have the whole picture

and you will say alhamdulillah for my

life and alhamdulillah for their life so

before you feel behind in life ask

yourself in comparison to what and so

the piece of advice that I feel helped

me so much with battling this feeling of

feeling behind in life is that the

reminder that we are in fact solely on

this Earth to please Allah tal there is

no other higher purpose that is the

purpose we are here to win this Dunya so

that our is amazing and Islam has made

winning this Dunya so easy you can win

even on your last day on Earth you could

have messed up your entire life and on

your last day did something that Allah

loved so so much that you got you got

you got you got the highest level of jna

this life is equal game for every single

person on this Earth in terms of getting

the best in a person who never got

married is on equal footing with someone

who has gotten married Allah has given

equal opportunity to everyone to attain

Jenna because there are an infinite

amount of ways to get there is no one

way there is no one prescription and so

when I finally realized that there is no

one way to get Jenna I realize that I am

not behind in life because you may be

behind in terms of the prescription of

society but you are never actually

behind in terms of the prescription of

Allah because there is no prescription

the only prescription that is actually

there that's set by Allah is live a life

that pleases Allah and that's about it

like as long as you're doing that you're

not behind in life because think about

it when you're in Jenna insh we all get

there we're not going to be sitting

there thinking oh man I wish I did this

to get Jenna instead I wish I got

married instead I wish I had kids

instead I wish I had a better career

instead I wish I bought a better house

instead no you're you're literally not

going to care how you got to Jenna at

that point what matters is that you're

there and what level you attained there

that's it and so as long as you are

trying your best to attain the highest

level of Jenna and you're doing your

best then nothing else matters in life

you are not behind in life comparing

yourself to people is not going to help

you because it doesn't matter at the end

of the day what everyone is doing in

their own individual lives as long as

you are taking care of your own

individual life and another thing to

remember is that you do not get Jenna by

your actions you only get it with the

mercy of Allah T so as long as you're

striving for that you're good remind

yourself that you are good you are in a

good place in your life you are not

behind Society does not get to control

what it means to be ahead and what it

means to be behind and there is no age

that is set there is no standard that is

set there is no one correct way to do

life there is not Allah did not give

only one way to get Jenna there are an

infinite amount of ways for a reason so

the next time you feel behind in your

life ask yourself in comparison to what

and also ask yourself are you behind in

life according to Allah or according to

modern day Society so that's all I have

for you in this this video I really hope

that it was helpful and I hope that the

piece of advice that I gave in this

video was as helpful to you as it was

for me and if you enjoyed this video

then please go ahead and subscribe

that'd be awesome and also share in the

comments you know why you feel behind in

life what's bothering you and maybe we

can all help each other kind of get

through this and help each other feel

better about the fact that we're not

behind in life so go ahead and comment

if you feel like that might be

beneficial for you and with that

inshallah I will end the way I always

end which is make sure to make Dua for

someone today you love may Allah grant

you all

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