Give me 6 minutes, and I'll improve your Approaches by 88%

Coach Kyle

2 Oct 202406:36

Summary

TLDRThe video discusses strategies for transitioning a conversation after approaching someone, especially in dating scenarios. It emphasizes the importance of assuming the burden of the conversation, giving compliments, elaborating on them, and adding personal input to keep the interaction flowing. The goal is to make the other person comfortable, avoid awkward silences, and gradually build rapport. The speaker breaks down an infield example, highlighting key points like using playful assumptions, flirting, and asking engaging questions to create a meaningful connection. The video also promotes a coaching program for improving social skills and confidence.

Takeaways

😀 Compliment and elaborate: Start by giving a simple compliment, then elaborate on it to transition smoothly into a conversation.
😎 Assume the burden of conversation: It's on you to carry the conversation in the beginning, making it easy for her to engage without pressure.
🗣️ Carry the first 10-20 seconds: Keep talking and ask questions to display confidence, friendliness, and social ease.
💬 Use personal input: Share something about your own day or experiences to make the interaction more personal and engaging.
👀 Look for positive signals: Notice her response—if she maintains eye contact, smiles, and responds positively, continue the conversation.
😉 Sprinkle in intent: Gradually add light flirting or playful comments to build rapport once the conversation is flowing well.
❓ Mix questions and observations: Ask questions and make assumptions or observations to keep the dialogue going smoothly.
✍️ Avoid awkward silence: Don't fall into the trap of question-answer loops; continue elaborating or adding input between questions.
👍 End on a high note: Aim to leave the conversation positively, especially when getting a phone number or setting up a date.
📞 Coaching offer: The video closes by promoting a coaching program aimed at improving social confidence, discipline, and mindset.

Q & A

What is the primary focus of the video?
-The primary focus of the video is to explain how to continue a conversation after approaching a woman, starting from a compliment and transitioning into a full interaction that could lead to getting a phone number or a date.
What is the first step after approaching a woman, according to the speaker?
-The first step after approaching a woman is to give a compliment, followed by elaborating on the compliment to keep the conversation going.
Why is it important to 'assume the burden of the conversation'?
-It’s important because the woman is a stranger and might not immediately engage in conversation. By carrying the conversation, you show confidence, social skills, and help make the interaction more comfortable for her.
What does the speaker suggest doing after giving a compliment?
-After giving a compliment, the speaker suggests elaborating on the compliment and making an observation or asking a follow-up question to keep the conversation flowing.
How does the speaker handle slight responses from the woman?
-The speaker advises not to get awkward after a slight response. Instead, you should continue talking and ask a question or provide personal input to keep the conversation alive.
What does 'sprinkling in some intent' mean, and when should it be done?
-'Sprinkling in some intent' means subtly expressing romantic interest. It should be done after you've established some rapport and the woman is responding positively.
What is the speaker’s advice for avoiding awkward pauses?
-To avoid awkward pauses, the speaker recommends asking questions, switching topics, making playful assumptions about the woman, and giving personal input to keep the conversation dynamic.
Why is it crucial to extend the conversation after asking a question?
-It’s crucial because most people, especially strangers, may initially give short responses. By extending the conversation, you show you’re social, confident, and provide more opportunities for the woman to engage.
What are some common mistakes men make during an interaction according to the speaker?
-Common mistakes include becoming awkward after receiving a small response, asking too many consecutive questions without adding personal input, and failing to carry the conversation by elaborating or making observations.
What does the speaker offer at the end of the video?
-The speaker offers a coaching program that includes a one-on-one onboarding call, daily live coaching, access to a community, and self-development content aimed at improving social confidence and discipline.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ How to Transition After the Approach

This paragraph discusses how to navigate a conversation after approaching a woman. The speaker explains the importance of carrying the conversation after offering a greeting or compliment, highlighting that it's the responsibility of the man to drive the first 10-20 seconds. This allows the woman to feel comfortable and avoid awkwardness. The speaker shares a real-life example, showing how he opened with a compliment about the woman's outfit and then elaborated on it to keep the conversation flowing. He emphasizes making observations, asking questions, and continuing to talk in order to display confidence and make the interaction smooth and natural.

05:02

👔 Structuring the Interaction and Personal Input

In this part, the speaker further explains the flow of conversation by breaking down his own interaction. After giving a compliment, he elaborates on it, asks a question, and shares something personal about his day. This builds rapport and gives the woman space to respond comfortably. The speaker stresses the importance of keeping the conversation going by mixing personal input with observations. As the woman reacts positively and engages, he begins to inject some playful teasing and intent, showing interest in her beyond small talk, while continuing to ask questions and make lighthearted assumptions.

🔄 The Importance of Carrying the Conversation

This paragraph highlights the speaker's main strategy of 'carrying the conversation,' meaning that the man should talk for 10-15 seconds after asking a question, instead of relying on the woman to keep the conversation going. This not only reduces awkwardness but also helps reveal personality and social skills. The speaker advises against making the interaction feel like an interrogation with back-to-back questions, and instead suggests elaborating on observations to give the other person more opportunities to engage naturally.

📱 Taking the Interaction to the Next Level

The speaker wraps up by summarizing how to lead the interaction from an initial approach to a meaningful conversation that can result in a phone number or a date. He outlines a typical progression: compliment, small talk, teasing/flirting, setting up plans, and exchanging contact details. The key is to leave the interaction on a high note, ensuring it’s light and enjoyable. He concludes by inviting viewers to join his coaching program, which offers personal guidance, daily live coaching, and a supportive community to help men improve their social confidence and personal development.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Approach

Approach refers to the act of initiating a conversation with someone, in this case, a woman. The video focuses on the importance of how men should handle the first steps of interacting with a stranger. The approach in the video starts with a compliment, which is intended to break the ice and set the tone for the interaction.

💡Compliment

A compliment is a positive remark made to show admiration or appreciation. In the video, the compliment is the first step to starting a conversation, such as commenting on the girl's outfit. The compliment serves as an opener, making the person feel good while signaling interest.

💡Elaboration

Elaboration means expanding on something that has been said or observed. After giving a compliment, the speaker in the video elaborates by discussing specific details, like the leopard print pattern of the outfit. This helps continue the conversation and makes the exchange more engaging.

💡Burden of conversation

The burden of conversation refers to the responsibility of maintaining and driving the conversation forward. In the context of the video, the speaker emphasizes that the person who initiated the approach, usually the man, must carry the conversation to avoid awkwardness and make the other person feel comfortable.

💡Personal input

Personal input involves sharing details about oneself during the conversation. This helps to keep the interaction going and adds depth. In the video, the speaker talks about his day and being cooped up in the apartment as an example of giving personal input to keep the dialogue flowing.

💡Intent

Intent refers to subtly expressing one's romantic or flirtatious interest during a conversation. In the video, intent is demonstrated when the speaker refers to the girl as a 'cute leopard girl,' signaling that the conversation is not purely friendly but has an element of romantic interest.

💡Flirting

Flirting is playful communication that suggests romantic or sexual interest. In the video, flirting occurs through playful comments and teasing, such as calling the girl 'crazy cat lady' or making humorous assumptions about her love for animals. This adds lightness to the conversation.

💡Small talk

Small talk is casual, introductory conversation about everyday topics like the weather or personal routines. In the video, the speaker uses small talk, discussing his walk around the block and his day in general, as a way to transition from the compliment into a longer interaction.

💡Questioning

Questioning refers to asking questions to keep the conversation dynamic and discover more about the other person. The speaker stresses the importance of asking questions to engage the person, such as asking the girl's name and where she's headed, to maintain the flow of conversation.

💡Interaction structure

Interaction structure refers to the pattern or flow of a conversation, especially in social settings like approaching someone. In the video, the interaction structure involves giving a compliment, elaborating on it, adding personal input, and then asking questions to keep the dialogue moving. This process helps lead the conversation toward building rapport or getting contact information.

Highlights

Transitioning the conversation after an initial compliment is crucial for maintaining flow and avoiding awkwardness.

It's the responsibility of the person approaching to carry the first 10-20 seconds of the conversation to ease the other person into it.

A well-delivered compliment can be elaborated on to naturally extend the interaction.

Making an observation about the person's appearance or situation can be an easy way to follow up on a compliment.

Asking questions after the compliment keeps the conversation going and allows the person to share more about themselves.

Sharing personal input about your own day or experience helps the conversation feel more balanced and less one-sided.

Recognizing positive responses such as eye contact or warm tone of voice indicates it's safe to sprinkle in some intent and escalate.

Introducing light humor or playful assumptions, like calling someone a 'cute leopard girl,' can make the interaction more memorable and engaging.

Switching topics frequently and asking questions keeps the conversation dynamic and prevents awkward silences.

Observing the person’s responses allows you to gauge their comfort level and adjust your approach accordingly.

Avoid relying solely on question after question. Providing personal input helps the other person feel more comfortable.

The goal is to help the other person feel at ease and build a sense of familiarity by offering insights into your own thoughts and day.

Using compliments, elaboration, questions, and personal input leads to more natural conversations and the opportunity to deepen the connection.

An interaction doesn’t have to be long to be effective. In just a few minutes, it's possible to go from a compliment to phone numbers and potential future plans.

Consistency in practicing these social skills can improve confidence, mindset, and overall interactions.