Dependencia emocional en la pareja | Silvia Congost | TEDxReus

Summary

En este conmovedor relato, Silvia Congost, psicóloga especializada en autoestima y dependencia emocional, comparte su experiencia personal y profesional sobre las relaciones tóxicas. A través de la historia de Cristina, una paciente atrapada en una relación dañina, Silvia reflexiona sobre su propio proceso de autodescubrimiento. Explica los tres tipos de relaciones: saludables, tóxicas y las que se vuelven tóxicas con el tiempo. Además, presenta los pasos clave para superar la dependencia emocional: comprensión, aceptación, mejorar la autoestima y mirar hacia adelante con gratitud y fuerza renovada.

Takeaways

• 😊 Silvia Congost es una psicóloga especializada en autoestima, dependencia emocional y relaciones.
• 😢 Cristina, una paciente de 36 años, sufría de ansiedad, insomnio y problemas de salud debido a una relación tóxica.
• ❤️ Cristina no dejaba la relación por dos razones: porque amaba a su pareja y por miedo a estar sola.
• 🤯 Silvia se dio cuenta de que también había estado atrapada en una relación infeliz durante seis años.
• 🌱 Existen tres tipos de relaciones: saludables, relaciones que se vuelven tóxicas con el tiempo, y relaciones tóxicas desde el inicio.
• ⚠️ La dependencia emocional es una forma de adicción que impide que una persona deje una relación dañina.
• 🔍 Los síntomas de la dependencia emocional incluyen obsesión, agotamiento mental, y malestar general.
• 💡 Para superar la dependencia emocional, Silvia identifica cuatro pasos: comprensión, aceptación, mejorar la autoestima y gratitud.
• 🌸 La autoestima se ve dañada en relaciones tóxicas y necesita ser fortalecida para recuperar el bienestar emocional.
• 🎉 Finalmente, después de superar la dependencia emocional, es importante mirar hacia el futuro con optimismo y convicción.

Q & A

¿Cuál fue el detonante que llevó a Silvia Congost a darse cuenta de su propia situación en una relación tóxica?

El detonante fue una sesión con una paciente llamada Cristina, quien describía síntomas de ansiedad, insomnio y otros problemas causados por su relación. Al escucharla, Silvia se dio cuenta de que estaba viviendo una situación similar y había estado atrapada en una relación infeliz durante más de seis años.

¿Cuáles son las tres categorías de relaciones que Silvia Congost identifica en su práctica?

Silvia identifica tres tipos de relaciones: las relaciones saludables, las relaciones que se vuelven tóxicas con el tiempo y las relaciones tóxicas desde el principio.

¿Qué características definen una relación saludable según Silvia Congost?

Una relación saludable es aquella en la que las dos personas comparten valores, tienen un plan de vida común, y se apoyan mutuamente para crecer. Aunque pueden haber conflictos, estos se resuelven de manera constructiva.

¿Por qué algunas relaciones que comienzan siendo saludables pueden volverse tóxicas con el tiempo?

Las relaciones pueden volverse tóxicas si una de las personas cambia, si ocurre una experiencia traumática o si los valores de una de las personas cambian. Esto puede generar una desconexión emocional, pérdida de admiración, o incluso infidelidad.

¿Qué síntomas experimentan las personas atrapadas en relaciones tóxicas según el testimonio de Silvia?

Las personas en relaciones tóxicas pueden sufrir ansiedad, insomnio, aumento de peso, dificultades para concentrarse, pérdida de memoria, y en casos extremos, pensamientos suicidas.

¿Qué es la dependencia emocional y cómo afecta a las personas en relaciones tóxicas?

La dependencia emocional es una adicción hacia una persona que impide que alguien termine una relación tóxica, a pesar de que sabe que no es saludable. Las personas dependientes temen estar solas y sienten pánico ante la idea de perder a su pareja.

¿Por qué es tan difícil para las personas dejar una relación tóxica?

Es difícil debido a la dependencia emocional, que genera miedo a la soledad y la incapacidad de imaginar una vida sin la pareja, incluso si la relación es destructiva.

¿Cuáles son los cuatro pasos que Silvia Congost propone para superar la dependencia emocional?

Los cuatro pasos son: 1) Entender lo que es la dependencia emocional, 2) Aceptar la situación sin culparse, 3) Reforzar la autoestima, y 4) Agradecer la experiencia y mirar hacia el futuro con una mentalidad positiva.

¿Cómo describe Silvia Congost el proceso de reforzar la autoestima tras salir de una relación tóxica?

Reforzar la autoestima implica recuperar el sentido de valor personal y la capacidad de sentirse digno. Esto es crucial después de haber sufrido intentos fallidos de hacer funcionar la relación, lo que puede llevar a creencias negativas sobre uno mismo.

¿Qué impacto tienen las relaciones tóxicas en otras áreas de la vida de una persona?

Las relaciones tóxicas afectan todas las áreas de la vida, incluyendo el trabajo, las amistades y la autoestima. El desgaste emocional de intentar hacer que la relación funcione puede agotar el cerebro, afectando la capacidad de concentración y el bienestar general.

Outlines

00:00

👩‍⚕️ El caso de Cristina y la autodecepción

La psicóloga Silvia Congost narra su encuentro con Cristina, una doctora de 36 años atrapada en una relación tóxica que le estaba causando ansiedad, insomnio y problemas de salud mental. Aunque Cristina sabía que su situación era perjudicial, no podía dejar a su pareja, alegando que lo amaba y prefería estar con él antes que sola. Silvia reflexiona sobre cómo Cristina, al igual que muchas personas, se engañaba a sí misma al justificar su relación tóxica por amor y miedo a la soledad.

05:03

💔 Relaciones saludables, tóxicas y la transición entre ellas

Silvia clasifica las relaciones en tres tipos: saludables, que aportan crecimiento y paz; tóxicas desde el inicio, que no funcionan y suelen involucrar abuso psicológico; y relaciones que, aunque inicialmente saludables, se vuelven tóxicas por cambios personales o experiencias traumáticas. Estos cambios pueden generar conflictos, pérdida de admiración y, a veces, infidelidades, causando que la relación ya no funcione ni traiga felicidad.

10:06

🎲 Dependencia emocional y relaciones tóxicas como adicción

La dependencia emocional se compara con una adicción. Silvia explica cómo las personas en relaciones tóxicas continúan dándole 'otra oportunidad', como en la ludopatía, esperando que las cosas mejoren, pero sin lograrlo. La obsesión por arreglar la relación y la energía invertida en evitar conflictos desgastan la mente, afectando la concentración, memoria y bienestar general. Esta dependencia afecta todos los aspectos de la vida, no solo la relación en sí.

15:08

💪 El proceso de salir de la dependencia emocional

Silvia describe cuatro pasos esenciales para superar la dependencia emocional. El primer paso es la comprensión de lo que implica esta dependencia. El segundo es la aceptación de la situación, reconociendo que no es culpa propia y que es necesario aprender para superarlo. El tercero es fortalecer la autoestima, ya que esta suele estar dañada tras múltiples intentos fallidos de hacer que la relación funcione. Finalmente, es fundamental analizar el pasado con gratitud y avanzar hacia el futuro con una mentalidad libre, saludable y feliz.

Keywords

💡Dependencia emocional

La dependencia emocional es un concepto central en el video, referido como una forma de adicción a una persona. Silvia explica cómo las personas pueden sentirse incapaces de dejar una relación tóxica debido al miedo de estar solas o de perder a esa persona, incluso cuando dicha relación les está haciendo daño. Ejemplo en el video: Cristina, a pesar de sufrir en su relación, no puede dejar a su pareja porque siente que lo necesita.

💡Relación tóxica

Las relaciones tóxicas son aquellas que, desde un principio o eventualmente, causan sufrimiento y malestar en lugar de bienestar. Silvia describe las características de estas relaciones, como el abuso psicológico, la falta de respeto, o la manipulación emocional. Relaciona esto con su experiencia personal y la de Cristina, quienes se quedaron atrapadas en relaciones que las estaban destruyendo emocionalmente.

💡Autoengaño

El autoengaño se refiere a cuando una persona se convence a sí misma de algo que no es verdad para evitar enfrentar una realidad dolorosa. En el video, Cristina se autoengaña al decir que 'ama' a su pareja, justificando así su permanencia en una relación que claramente le causa daño. Silvia revela cómo el autoengaño es un mecanismo que utilizan muchas personas para justificar relaciones insatisfactorias.

💡Autoestima

La autoestima se menciona como un aspecto crucial que se ve gravemente afectado en las personas que sufren de dependencia emocional. Silvia explica que, tras intentos fallidos de mejorar la relación, la persona dependiente suele perder su sentido de valía y sentirse incapaz de dejar la relación o de merecer algo mejor. Un proceso de recuperación incluye trabajar en la autoimagen y la confianza personal.

💡Relación sana

Una relación sana es aquella donde ambas personas comparten valores, crecen juntas y manejan los conflictos de manera constructiva. En contraste con las relaciones tóxicas, las relaciones sanas generan paz y bienestar. Silvia define estos vínculos como los ideales, aunque reconoce que a veces una relación que empieza siendo sana puede transformarse en tóxica con el tiempo.

💡Miedo a la soledad

El miedo a estar solo es uno de los principales factores que impiden a las personas dejar relaciones tóxicas. Silvia describe cómo este miedo puede ser tan paralizante que las personas prefieren mantenerse en relaciones dañinas en lugar de enfrentar la posibilidad de no tener pareja. Este miedo es especialmente evidente en el caso de Cristina, quien prefiere seguir en una relación destructiva antes que estar sola.

💡Crecimiento personal

El crecimiento personal es el proceso mediante el cual una persona aprende de sus experiencias, incluidas las difíciles, y utiliza ese aprendizaje para fortalecerse y mejorar. Silvia subraya que para superar la dependencia emocional, es necesario embarcarse en un proceso de autoconocimiento y sanación que permita reconstruir la autoestima y aprender de las lecciones que deja una relación tóxica.

💡Adicción

La adicción, en este contexto, se refiere a la adicción emocional hacia una persona. Silvia compara la dependencia emocional con la ludopatía, donde una persona sigue apostando esperando un cambio, a pesar de que no llega. Del mismo modo, quienes sufren de dependencia emocional siguen apostando por la relación tóxica, esperando que las cosas mejoren, a pesar de que la situación no cambia.

💡Aceptación

La aceptación es el segundo paso en el proceso de recuperación de la dependencia emocional. Silvia explica que aceptar la situación no significa rendirse, sino reconocer que uno está atrapado en una relación tóxica y que necesita ayuda para salir de ella. Este paso es esencial para dejar de culparse a uno mismo y empezar a buscar soluciones.

💡Agradecimiento

El agradecimiento es el último paso en el proceso de sanación, donde la persona mira hacia atrás y agradece por las lecciones aprendidas a través de la experiencia dolorosa. Silvia menciona que, una vez que se ha superado la dependencia emocional, es importante dar gracias por el crecimiento y la fortaleza obtenidos, lo que permitirá avanzar con más seguridad y libertad en la vida.

Highlights

Silvia Congost introduces herself as a psychologist specializing in self-esteem, emotional dependence, and relationships.

Cristina, a 36-year-old woman, sought therapy because of her toxic relationship, which caused her severe anxiety, insomnia, weight gain, and suicidal thoughts.

Cristina revealed that she stayed in the toxic relationship for two reasons: because she loved her partner and because she feared being alone.

Silvia realized Cristina was deceiving herself about love, believing that staying in a damaging relationship was justified by love.

Silvia identified Cristina’s fear of loneliness as a common reason many people stay in toxic relationships.

Silvia reflects that, like Cristina, she also spent six years in an unhappy relationship, and it took a session with Cristina to realize this.

Silvia explains that relationships fall into three categories: healthy relationships, those that become toxic, and toxic relationships from the start.

Healthy relationships allow personal growth, provide peace, and help couples handle conflicts constructively.

Toxic relationships can arise when one partner changes, experiences trauma, or an infidelity occurs, leading to dissatisfaction and conflict.

Silvia identifies emotional dependence as the reason people stay in toxic relationships, comparing it to an addiction, much like gambling.

Emotional dependence causes obsession, where the individual becomes fixated on fixing the relationship despite repeated failures.

Silvia outlines four steps to overcoming emotional dependence: understanding, acceptance, raising self-esteem, and expressing gratitude.

Understanding emotional dependence is crucial, as it empowers people with knowledge and awareness about their situation.

Acceptance involves recognizing the problem without blaming oneself, realizing that it’s beyond one’s control.

Finally, Silvia encourages looking back with gratitude for the lessons learned from the toxic relationship, allowing personal growth and a stronger sense of self.

Transcripts

Translator: Gemma Heron Reviewer: Trina Orsic

My name is Silvia Congost,

I’m a psychologist specializing in self-esteem,

emotional dependence and relationships.

And today I want to confess to you that on June 23rd I awoke,

it’s already been a few years since then.

Just like there are people who use before and after Christ

as a reference point.

In my life too there is a before and after date.

By then I was already a psychologist,

I had recently opened a practice in my town

and one day Cristina called for an appointment.

Cristina was a 36-year-old woman.

She was a doctor in a hospital in the neighbouring town

and she told me that she was booking an appointment

because she didn’t know what more she could do

to make her relationship work,

to solve those conflicts, those non-stop problems

with the person she had by her side.

She was desperate and I was her last hope.

The day of the session arrived and Cristina explained to me

that she suffered from anxiety, that she had insomnia.

She told me that she had gained 20 kilos in recent months

and that she was about to request leave from work.

She also told me that she had problems concentrating,

that she was losing her memory

and that she had even considered taking her own life.

Right away I realised that she was in a toxic relationship,

but the question is: then why didn’t she leave?

If it was bad, why didn’t she leave that relationship?

If she could tell that her quality of life was worsening every day,

that by the day her health was also deteriorating,

that staying in that relationship was a constant battle to make it work,

that there wouldn’t be these problems they were having

in resolving these differences,

if she didn’t even like the person by her side

because all she wanted was to change him,

why didn’t she leave this person?

I decided to ask her that queation and Cristina was very clear.

For two reasons.

Firstly she said to me: “Because I love him.”

And secondly she said to me: “Because I’d rather be like this

even if it’s bad, than lose him, than be without him.”

With those two answers I understood what was going on

a little bit better.

On one hand with the first reason, “because I love him”,

I realised that Cristina was clearly deceiving herself.

Why? Because you can’t love somebody

with whom you’re destroying yourself at times.

You can’t love somebody in a healthy way

if you are constantly suffering in that relationship,

if you feel like that relationship isn’t working,

that it’s not getting you closer to where you want to go

and that every day you feel worse

and that you’re losing yourself.

There was a clear self-deception here.

That is, she was trying to convince herself

that the love she was feeling

was what justified her continued commitment to this person

with whom things weren’t going well.

And secondly, upon telling me “I’d rather be like this than lose him”

or “I’d rather be in bad company than alone”,

which unfortunately is something that we would often prefer,

what I understood was that Cristina was afraid of being alone.

The fear of being alone ia a very frequent fear, very common,

that we human beings have.

That terrible panic of being left without that person

and not finding anyone else who wants to be with us.

Then the question resurfaced: “So why don’t you end it?”

And in understanding that, in listening to her

and after doing little reflecting,

that’s when I felt that “click” inside me, that light.

I felt like something was pushing on the pit of my stomach.

I started to feel dizzy, I started to feel worse and worse.

I ended the session as I could and in that moment,

after Cristina’s appointment,

she closed the door to the office, I stayed there for almost three hours

without being able to stop crying.

I couldn’t stop crying because I had just realised,

upon doing that session,

that I, like Cristina, had spent more than six years

trapped in an unhappy relationship,

in which I didn’t feel able to end it or to distance myself from that person,

fighting to make it work, to get on well,

to make it easy like I wanted it to be, but without accepting who was by my side.

So I didn’t know why this was happening to me.

I didn’t know why I wasn’t able to end this relationship.

It was a feeling like,

“Am I going crazy or what’s happening to me?”

Because if I’m not doing well, why can’t I end it?

I decided that one day the answer would come to me

and from that moment I focused my practice

only on helping people

who weren’t doing well in their relationships.

Very soon I realised that every relationship

can be classified in one of three scenarios

that I’m going to lay out for you now.

All relationships.

If in this moment you are in a relationship,

you will see very clearly which of these three scenarios

you fall into.

The same with relationships you’ve had in the past,

and those that you’ll have in the future as well.

What are they? The first is the healthy relationship.

They are the relationships that work.

The relationships with someone who matches our values,

with someone who has the same life plan,

a plan in common,

who we can go hand in hand with,

with whom we’re not looking in two opposite directions,

because then we’re going to separate.

The healthy relationship is the one we have

with someone who allows us to grow.

It’s when we are at ease with that person,

when we feel peace next to that person.

The relationship brings us calm.

There’s another very frequent characteristic,

and of course we have conflicts in healthy relationships,

but we know how to use these conflicts in a constructive way,

in a way that helps us to get to know each other better

and to bind us stronger together.

What happens is that life is about change, we all know that.

Everything is constantly changing and relationships can change too.

That’s why there are relationships that are healthy for a period of time.

We think they could last a lifetime,

we don’t even consider that anything could happen,

but one day they suddenly become toxic.

This could be, it can happen because one of the two changes.

Or because we have had a very traumatic experience

which greatly upsets us,

and our values change, we no longer want the same thing,

we stop admiring the person who we have by our side.

When we ask ourselves “What do I like about this person?”

it’s hard for us to find an answer,

and it could be that we start to desire a third-party, someone from the outside.

We fall in love with somebody else and we begin to fantasize

that we would be better off with that other person.

Or we may experience an infidelity,

and it creates a gap between us, a very deep wound

that makes it very difficult to heal

and get the story back on track.

Here the relationship becomes toxic and it no longer satisfies us,

it’s no longer worth it, it no longer makes us happy.

And then there’s a third scenario: toxic relationships,

and they’re toxic from the start.

You know those cases that you see and you say:

“What are they doing?”

You can see from miles away that this is going nowhere.

“Those two? They don’t match at all,

there’s no way’“.

From the outside we always see it so clearly,

but there are many people trapped

in relationships that haven’t worked since the beginning,

in which they don’t match at all, in which there’s psychological abuse,

which is unfortunately very common.

People that experience a constant lack of respect,

slights, humiliations.

They experience and suffer from punishments

at the hands of their partner,

punishments, for example, like not speaking to you.

That one is very common,

and how do you feel when your partner stops speaking to you?

That’s psychological abuse,

even if it’s not done in a conscious and premeditated way.

And, of course, we suffer a lot in those relationships.

So, when I understood that there are these three relationship models

and that every relationship could fit into one of them,

I asked myself again:

“Why don’t we leave when the relationship is toxic?”

And in that moment, I was ready to know the answer:

because of emotional dependence.

That’s when I discovered what emotional dependence was,

that it was happening to Cristina, that it was happening to me

and it’s what happens to hundreds of thousands of men and women

in many countries across the globe.

It is this inability to sever the relationship

in those cases where we should all end it,

because it’s no longer there, we’re no longer doing well there,

there’s no longer healthy love there.

We feel a terrible, unstoppable panic, at the thought of being left

without that person.

The idea of seeing them with somebody else,

with another partner, paralyzes us.

We can’t even imagine them with somebody else.

Saying “we’ll never be able to take those trips again, to plan them.

We’ll never be able to go to that restaurant together again”,

“never again”, that never again is absolutely devastating.

This inability also leads us to realise that we are dealing with an addiction.

Emotional dependence is an addiction, just like other forms of addicitons.

In this case it’s towards the person in question.

Imagine, for example, the case of gambling addiction,

of ludomania.

Imagine the person who inserts some change

and is unlucky enough to win.

Then they start to see the coins coming down

and “Wow, Wow, Wow”.

Come on, another day, they insert another coin. And another.

“Come on, there aren’t any winning coins for a while now.

I have a hunch. I think this is the one.

Another one, another one...”

And clearly you’re hooked, you don’t win.

It’s the same with relationships.

It’s like one more chance.

“Come on, a little longer. Come on, until summer.

It’s just that now he’s told me he’ll change.

Come on, one more reconciliation.”

And when we’re like that the relationship isn’t working.

If it were a healthy attachment, upon seeing that it’s not working

and that we aren’t compensated, we would leave.

But when there’s dependence, the attachment between us is toxic.

Therefore we’re there more due to need, because we need that dose, that drug,

although afterwards, by returning to that person’s side,

we immediately realise that we’re not well

and that we shouldn’t be there.

The most common symptoms are:

there are many, but I want to highlight obsession.

We are totally obsessed with finding a way

to make this relationship work.

When there’s dependence,

our entire life revolves around mulling it over,

around how to avoid having these discussions,

how to make sure they don’t get angry about something,

doing this, that, and the other...

And we put so much energy into this issue

that our brain is left totally worn out and really, really tired.

And so we find it hard to concentrate,

we forget things and we don’t remember things

because our brain can’t take it anymore.

We feel helpless.

We’ve tried so many times to get things back on track

that we no longer know where to turn.

It’s like a feeling of “I just don’t know what else to do

to get things back on track and really make it happen.”

And we feel, of course, a great deal of general malaise.

Suffering in a toxic relationship and being trapped in it

is something that, sometimes we don’t consider it,

but it affects us in all areas of life.

It will affect us in our work life, in our personal life,

in terms of self-esteem, at work, with friends, in all areas.

And it affects both those who are inside and have to leave,

and those who have already left,

because there are many patients who contact me and tell me:

“Silvia, I’ve spent a year already without this person.

This person, my ex-partner, is already in a relationship

and I still don’t understand why they left me.

I’m still asking myself what happened. I don’t understand.”

That is, they are still obsessed, going around and around,

you think “but they’re already there, living another life,

it’s already over.”

But what’s happening to them?

They don’t cut contact, they keep looking for information

on social media,

they still allow people to update them

and they keep drinking the substance that they’re clearly addicted to.

So I imagine you’re asking yourselves,

“Fine, OK, good. That’s pretty much clear.

What do we do when we’re emotionally dependent?

How do we get out of there?

Of course, I experienced it and when it happened to me,

I refused to accept that there was no way out,

it’s like “Ok, I’m hooked. I have an addiction. It is what it is.”

Because I had never been talked to about what emotional dependence was,

neither in my psychology degree nor anywhere else,

but I was convinced that I could get out

and so I have been able to prove this over the last 20 years.

Clearly, there has to be a process of personal growth,

a process to heal and to learn from all of this.

But I’m going to lay out the four steps for you,

which for me are without a doubt the most important ones,

and the path we should be on and what we must keep in mind.

The first of these four steps is of course: understanding.

It’s very important to understand what emotional dependence is,

to have, to receive the information

that allows us to know what we are talking about.

When someone doesn’t know something, it’s as if it’s alien to them

and if it happens to them, they won’t even see it.

They’ll suffer the consequences, but they won’t understand it.

When you educate yourself and give yourself more information,

it empowers that person, it gives them tools.

And that’s when that person is able to decide what they want to do

or where they want to go.

Therefore, I think it’s very important to invest in education.

If we don’t receive it from outside, let us look for it ourselves,

because we’ll benefit much more than if we don’t have it.

The second step: acceptance.

Accepting doesn’t mean you don’t have a desire for growth or improvement.

No, accepting is coming to terms with what is happening to us,

that we haven’t been able to control it up to that moment,

understanding that we aren’t to blame, simply nobody taught us, educated us,

we didn’t have the information to identify it in time.

But it’s like the alcoholic who says:

“Well yes, I have an alcohol addiction and I can’t control it.”

And it’s the same as saying;

“Yes, I’m suffering from emotional dependence

and I don’t know how to get out of it.

I need tools.”

And when we accept it we’re able to answer a question

that has always seemed very important to me,

that of “what is life trying to teach me?”

“What is it that life wanted me to learn

by making me live or suffer that experience?”

’What is it that I have to learn?”

Because when you learn from an experience,

something changes in you.

And that change in you is what protects you from going through

the same thing again.

It’s what makes you say to yourself when something similar happens to you

and you identify it. “No, not around here.”

Once we’ve accepted it, it’s very important

to raise our self-esteem.

Self-esteem, whenever we’ve suffered

emotional dependence, is damaged.

Because after so many attempts to make it work

and not achieving it, not getting the success we’re seeking,

in the end we connect with beliefs like:

“I’m not worth it. I’m not able. I can’t. I don’t deserve it, I’m not worthy.”

And that has to be reversed, it has to be turned around.

We have to strenghten ourselves in order to not feel that way.

We have to work to empower ourselves again

and to regain contact with our self-worth

and with the ability and the feeling of worthiness

that we should all bear in mind.

And once we have understood, we have been able to accept that yes,

this is happening to us, that we have suffered

from emotional dependence

and we have made a process to strenghten our self-esteem,

we have reached the last step, which is also very important,

which consists of two things.

Firstly, I think it’s important to stop and look back.

Looking back means analyzing where we came from,

to really analyze that experience we’ve just had, with perspective

and say in a totally sincere way “Thank you” while we smile.

Say: “Thank you, thank you for what this experience has taught me.”

“Thank you for what I’ve learnt.”

“Thank you for the person that I have become today,

much stronger, much more mature and much more aware.”

And once we’ve connected to gratitude,

once we have really been able to say “Thank you”,

it’s time to start looking forward again,

and with the utmost conviction and the utmost security

strongly embrace life and say to it loud and clear:

“Yes, now I’m coming for you.

But I’m coming for you free, healthy and happy.”

Thank you very much.

(Applause)