Ilmu Sukses! Public Speaking Penting, Tapi Ilmu Mendengar Juga Penting!

Helmy Yahya Bicara
12 Aug 202012:09

Summary

TLDRThe transcript highlights the importance of active listening over speaking. It emphasizes that many conflicts and miscommunications arise because people are too quick to respond without fully hearing the other side. Drawing on personal experiences and references to communication theories, the speaker encourages a shift towards more mindful listening. They stress that true learning and growth come from hearing others, contrasting it with public debates and discussions where people often speak over each other. The speaker promotes balance in communication, advocating for both effective speaking and attentive listening as keys to success.

Takeaways

  • 👂 The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening more than speaking, as reflected in the idea that humans have two ears and one mouth.
  • 🗣 Miscommunication and conflict often arise when people are too quick to make conclusions without fully listening to others.
  • 📺 In debates and discussions, especially on TV shows, people tend to talk over each other, leading to chaos instead of productive dialogue.
  • 🎓 The speaker shares a personal experience of learning to listen more attentively while studying under a German-American professor.
  • 👥 In negotiations, those who listen more often have an advantage over those who dominate the conversation.
  • 💡 The speaker admits to previously being a dominant public speaker and realizing later the value of listening to others.
  • 🎤 Being a good public speaker is important, but it's equally crucial to be a good listener to gain knowledge and insight.
  • 📈 Successful communication involves a balance between speaking and listening, which can lead to better interactions and learning.
  • 📚 The speaker suggests that while there are many courses on public speaking, there should be more focus on teaching people to listen effectively.
  • 🌐 In the digital world, especially platforms like YouTube, listening to younger generations or experts in the field is essential for staying relevant.

Q & A

  • What is the main message of the speaker in the transcript?

    -The speaker emphasizes the importance of listening more than speaking, as it helps avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and miscommunications. He encourages practicing active listening to gain more knowledge and foster better communication.

  • Why does the speaker refer to the fact that humans have two ears and one mouth?

    -The speaker uses this metaphor to highlight that humans are meant to listen more than speak. It symbolizes the importance of hearing and understanding others before offering opinions or judgments.

  • What does the speaker say about modern-day debates and discussions?

    -The speaker criticizes modern debates, especially in media, for being dominated by people talking over each other without actually listening. This, he argues, leads to poor communication and unresolved conflicts.

  • Who is Otto Scharmer, and how does his theory relate to the speaker's message?

    -Otto Scharmer is a German-American professor mentioned by the speaker, known for his 'Theory U,' which promotes the idea of listening and understanding deeply before reacting. This theory aligns with the speaker's message of the value of listening over speaking.

  • How does the speaker relate his personal experience to the idea of listening?

    -The speaker shares his own career as a public speaker and moderator, where he was used to talking a lot. He admits that this habit of speaking more than listening led him to miss out on valuable input from others. Later, he realized the importance of listening through his education and experiences.

  • What lesson does the speaker highlight about communication and negotiation?

    -The speaker emphasizes that in negotiations, those who listen more tend to have the upper hand. Listening allows one to understand the other party better, while talking too much can lead to losing valuable opportunities.

  • What is the significance of the 'suspend judgment' concept in the speaker's message?

    -The 'suspend judgment' concept encourages people to refrain from quickly concluding what others are trying to say. The speaker believes that rushing to conclusions leads to miscommunication and conflict, whereas listening fully allows for more accurate understanding.

  • How does the speaker view the evolution of communication in the context of new media like YouTube?

    -The speaker acknowledges that media, especially platforms like YouTube, constantly change, and learning from younger content creators is essential. He stresses that listening to others, especially those knowledgeable in newer fields, is vital for staying relevant and informed.

  • Why does the speaker believe listening is crucial for personal growth?

    -The speaker argues that by listening, we can absorb knowledge from others, whereas if we speak too much, we only share what we already know. Listening, therefore, becomes a key factor in gaining new insights and improving ourselves.

  • What is the speaker's suggestion for becoming a better communicator?

    -The speaker suggests that while being a good public speaker is important, being a good listener is equally crucial. He advocates for balancing both skills to become a more effective communicator, capable of understanding others and expressing oneself clearly.

Outlines

00:00

👂 Importance of Listening Over Speaking

The paragraph emphasizes the value of listening more than speaking, citing that God gave humans two ears and one mouth to highlight this. It criticizes society's tendency to focus on speaking rather than understanding others, especially in debates and discussions where people often talk over one another. The speaker shares personal experiences where debates in media become chaotic due to the lack of listening. The message suggests that in communication, people should prioritize listening to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.

05:02

🗣 Miscommunication from Speaking Without Listening

This paragraph highlights how conflicts and miscommunication arise when people do not listen properly and jump to conclusions. The speaker shares personal reflections on their professional life, where their role required a lot of speaking, often without listening to others. Through the teachings of Otto Scharmer’s 'Theory U,' the speaker learns the importance of actively listening before speaking or making judgments. It concludes with advice to give others the space to speak and share their ideas without interruptions to foster better communication and understanding.

10:03

🔄 The Ever-Changing World of Communication

This section explores how staying updated and adaptable is crucial, especially in the evolving landscape of media like YouTube. The speaker references influencers like MrBeast and Deddy Corbuzier, noting how they constantly reinvent themselves to stay relevant. The speaker underscores the necessity of listening to learn and grow, emphasizing that success isn't just about being a good communicator, but also a good listener. They suggest that there are many courses on public speaking, but none on becoming a better listener, despite listening being equally, if not more, important for success.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Listening

Listening is emphasized as a key skill in communication, where the speaker discusses how humans are designed with two ears and one mouth, symbolizing that we should listen more than we speak. The video suggests that many conflicts and misunderstandings arise because people are too eager to talk and do not actively listen. An example from the script is when the speaker reflects on debates where no one listens, leading to miscommunication and unresolved issues.

💡Public Speaking

Public speaking is discussed in contrast to listening, where the speaker acknowledges that their professional life has been dominated by talking rather than listening. Public speaking is described as a necessary skill, especially in professions such as being a moderator or a public figure. However, the speaker cautions against overemphasizing speaking without balancing it with listening.

💡Miscommunication

Miscommunication is highlighted as a common outcome when people do not listen carefully. The speaker explains that assumptions, such as believing you already know what the other person will say, can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. The video connects this to debates and discussions where participants speak over each other without listening, thus failing to reach productive conclusions.

💡Conflict

Conflict is portrayed as a natural result of poor communication, especially when parties involved in a conversation fail to listen. The video points out that in many televised debates, participants argue without trying to understand the other side, which increases tension and hinders resolution. The speaker suggests that listening can reduce conflicts by allowing better mutual understanding.

💡Communication

Communication is the central theme of the video, particularly the balance between speaking and listening. The speaker emphasizes that effective communication involves both transmitting and receiving information, and that good communicators are also good listeners. The script illustrates this by discussing how misunderstandings in professional and personal interactions can often be traced to a failure to listen.

💡Suspending Judgment

Suspending judgment is a concept introduced in the video to encourage open-mindedness during conversations. The speaker warns against jumping to conclusions too quickly, as this can lead to miscommunication. The idea is to hold off on making judgments until all information is heard and understood, which aligns with the overall message of the importance of listening.

💡Negotiation

Negotiation is mentioned in the context of communication strategies, where the speaker argues that those who speak less and listen more tend to have an advantage in negotiations. The video ties this idea to the broader theme of listening, suggesting that in negotiation, being a good listener helps gather more information and make better decisions.

💡Debate

Debate is referenced as a situation where the failure to listen is particularly evident. The speaker criticizes how, in many public debates, participants often talk over one another without trying to understand opposing viewpoints. This lack of listening turns debates into unproductive arguments, which contrasts with the ideal of a healthy, constructive dialogue.

💡Learning

Learning is presented as a benefit of listening. The speaker reflects on personal experiences where listening to others, especially those younger or more knowledgeable in certain areas, led to personal growth and new insights. The video stresses that listening allows us to absorb knowledge from others, which is essential for continuous learning.

💡YouTheory

YouTheory is a concept introduced by a professor the speaker met, which advocates for the idea that people should focus on listening rather than speaking. This theory aligns with the overall theme of the video, promoting the idea that good communication is rooted in attentive listening. The speaker references this theory to emphasize the importance of adopting a listening-first approach in various contexts, including education and professional settings.

Highlights

The speaker emphasizes the importance of not jumping to conclusions in conversations to avoid miscommunication and conflicts.

Humans are created with two ears and one mouth, suggesting that we should listen more than we speak.

In debates and discussions, people often compete to talk over each other rather than listening, which is counterproductive.

The speaker shares a personal experience of studying at a prestigious school in Boston, where they learned the value of listening.

Professor Otto Scharmer’s 'Theory U' encourages more listening than speaking, which fosters better understanding and communication.

The speaker acknowledges their past tendency to talk more due to their profession as a public speaker and TV host, which limited their listening skills.

Miscommunication often happens when we assume we know what the other person will say before they finish speaking.

Effective dialogue requires both sides to listen completely to each other, something often missing in public debates.

In negotiations, those who listen more and speak less tend to have an advantage, contrary to common belief.

People who constantly talk without listening are less likely to gain new knowledge, while listeners benefit from others’ insights.

The speaker stresses that success in communication involves both being a good speaker and a good listener.

Listening to others, even those younger or less experienced, can provide valuable learning opportunities.

The speaker reflects on learning from younger generations, especially in new fields like YouTube, which differ from traditional media.

Trends in media and communication evolve quickly, and staying updated requires continuous learning and listening.

The speaker suggests that successful people are not only good at speaking but are also excellent listeners, a key trait for learning and growth.

Transcripts

play00:00

Hai di dalam ilmunya you Carry kita

play00:02

menyebutnya adalah suspend jaqmen jangan

play00:06

cepat menyimpulkan yang miskomunikasi

play00:09

konflik atau pertikaian terjadi karena

play00:13

kita terlalu cepat menyimpulkan Solo

play00:16

kita udah tahu gitu Sebelum kita mulai

play00:25

sadar epitech Bukankah Tuhan menciptakan

play00:49

manusia

play00:51

Hai dengan dua telinga dan hanya satu

play00:54

mulut sekali lagi Tuhan menciptakan

play00:56

manusia dengan dua telinga saya

play00:59

Hai tapi hanya satu mulut artinya apa

play01:01

kalau kita cermat ya menganalisa ini

play01:05

mengartikan Yin ini artinya sebenarnya

play01:09

kita sebagai makhluk Tuhan diminta untuk

play01:12

lebih banyak mendengar daripada

play01:16

berbicara ya Jadi kita diminta untuk

play01:19

lebih banyak mendengar daripada

play01:22

berbicara

play01:23

Hai dan yang terjadi sekarang kalau kita

play01:26

rasakan kita lihat ya di masyarakat

play01:29

dalam perdebatan-perdebatan dalam Tokyo

play01:32

Tokyo yang ratingnya bagus itu adalah

play01:36

orang berebut bicara ya tidak

play01:40

mendengarkan lawannya bahkan brur Oh

play01:44

dulu kita menyaksikan dalam beberapa

play01:46

Tokyo ya karena orangnya gitu aja ya

play01:49

untuk berdebat tiap kali bertemu dalam

play01:51

satu panggung dalam satu set mereka

play01:53

berseteru ya adu argumentasi tapi tidak

play01:57

ada yang mendengarkan satu sama lain

play01:58

tumpang tindih suaranya dan ratingnya

play02:01

tinggi yang nonton banyak Suka banget

play02:04

orang dengan perdebatan-perdebatan

play02:05

seperti itu ya tetapi Apa kesimpulan

play02:09

yang bisa didapatkan

play02:11

Oh ya jadi sekali lagi statement Tadi ia

play02:15

pernah disampaikan oleh seorang atau

play02:18

perempuan Indonesia dalam sebuah debat

play02:20

karena lawannya tidak pernah mau ngomong

play02:22

tiap kali si Ibu ini bicara dia selalu

play02:24

potong selalu menyerang dia bilang hai

play02:28

Pak manusia diciptakan Allah hanya

play02:32

memiliki satu mulut tapi dua telinga

play02:34

artinya apa lebih banyak Kita disuruh

play02:38

untuk diminta untuk mendengar daripada

play02:40

berbicara teman-teman sekitar berapa

play02:46

tahun yang lalu Iya mungkin 45 tahun

play02:48

yang lalu saya pernah mendapatkan

play02:50

kesempatan beasiswa untuk eh mengenyam

play02:54

pendidikan Ia di

play02:57

yo yah emiten yang ada di kota Boston ya

play03:01

sekolah yang sangat terkenal karena

play03:02

main-main juga kuliahnya disini

play03:04

melahirkan banyak sekali teknologi dan

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saya beruntung saya bertemu dengan

play03:07

seorang Profesor namanya otot sarmer ya

play03:10

keturunan Jerman tetapi ini adalah warga

play03:12

negara Amerika dan mempunyai buku

play03:14

mempunyai teori yang bicara tentang

play03:16

youtheory Yuki ori itu justru intinya

play03:19

mengajak kita yang menganjurkan kita

play03:22

untuk lebih banyak mendengar Yah

play03:27

daripada berbicara jadi pada saat-saat

play03:29

tertentu Kita harus banyak mendengar

play03:32

saya saya B keempat ya dari kursus Sob

play03:37

coz iapun cheerleader itu Iya sabet

play03:40

empat angkatan ke-4 di atas saya ada-ada

play03:43

Farhan yang sekarang jadi anggota polisi

play03:45

satu adab Mas Tanto ada Andy Noya dan

play03:49

Ada berapa nama ada ada apa beberapa

play03:53

nama-nama besar lain yang yang Tiap hari

play03:56

kerjaannya momong turun ngomong saya

play03:57

Thomas setan kok konfirmasi oval kita

play04:00

bingung pertama dapat youtheory kita ini

play04:02

saya ini adalah orang yang dimana-mana

play04:04

didengarkan orang omongannya dan hampir

play04:07

sampai kepada satu posisi di mana Saya

play04:12

tidak mendengarkan orang ataupun sekali

play04:15

mendengarkan orang dalam Saya mencari

play04:17

nafkah ingin saja DMC dominan gue saya

play04:21

bicara saya jadi moderator

play04:24

yo yah banyak saya bicara walaupun

play04:27

kadang-kadang saya harus mempersilahkan

play04:29

orang bicara saya menjadi public speaker

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dominan saya bicara saya pemimpin

play04:34

perusahaan karena saya Sio dari sebuah

play04:36

production House yang menghasilkan

play04:38

banyak sekali realty show ya saya jadi

play04:41

presenter ya di televisi saya bicara the

play04:43

dominant hampir sedikit sekali profesi

play04:47

sayang saya mendengarkan orang karena

play04:50

profesi bukan saya enggak mau

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mendengarkan orang tapi kebiasaan bicara

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bicara bicara bicara sehingga saya

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dianggap salah satu Sebagai public

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speaker di Indonesia ini membuat saya

play05:02

tidak Terlatih Untuk mendengar karena

play05:04

tidak ada hal atau hampir sedikit sekali

play05:06

profesi saya yang meminta saya untuk

play05:09

mendengarkan orang lain Jadi sewaktu

play05:12

masuk Deep di discord yang ada di emiten

play05:15

ini wuduh kita dilatih untuk

play05:18

mendengarkan jadi temen-temen

play05:21

Hai guys saya paham betul ya paham betul

play05:25

bahwa thumbnail

play05:26

hai miskomunikasi

play05:28

Hai konflik pertikaian itu terjadi

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karena ada pihak di dalam komunikasi

play05:37

yang tidak mendengarkan pihak lain

play05:40

percaya

play05:42

Oh ya kadang-kadang kita tuh dalam

play05:43

komunikasi orang baru mau ngomong Oh

play05:46

saya udah tahu tuh yang mau kamu

play05:47

sampaikan dan kita udah potong pada

play05:49

belum tentu itu malah yang tadi saya

play05:52

bilang dalam beberapa tokoh yang kita

play05:54

lihat di TV mereka tidak mendengarkan

play05:56

satu sama lain yang ada itu mereka

play05:58

meletakkan bursa gernon turun Dodot

play06:02

tidak ada satupun yang mau mendengarkan

play06:03

ya apa yang bisa kita dapatkan itu bukan

play06:07

dialog yang sehat teman-teman dalam

play06:10

materi kali ini saya mengajak anda untuk

play06:14

menyadari satu kesalahan juga yang dulu

play06:18

saya lakukan ya bahwa dulu karena

play06:21

profesi saya karena profesi bukan karena

play06:23

kesengajaan semata-mata saya tidak

play06:26

mendengarkan orang lain tapi dalam

play06:28

berbagai hal kita harus memberikan

play06:32

kesempatan orang lain untuk bicara

play06:34

memberikan kesempatan orang lain untuk

play06:37

menyampaikan gagasannya menyampaikan

play06:40

argumentasinya baru kita

play06:42

Hai di dalam ilmunya you Carry kita

play06:45

menyebutnya adalah suspend Jackman

play06:48

jangan cepat menyimpulkan yang

play06:51

miskomunikasi konflik atau pertikaian

play06:54

terjadi karena kita terlalu cepat

play06:58

menyimpulkan Solo kita udah tahu gitu

play07:00

Nah kalau Solo Tidak sudah tahu itu

play07:02

padahal bukan itu persoalannya Itulah

play07:06

yang mengakibatkan kita bisa membuat

play07:09

kesimpulan yang salah yang kita kita

play07:12

sampai begitu kita sampaikan dengan

play07:14

sedikit memaksa pula dengan public

play07:17

speaking kita yang sangat baik itu

play07:19

membuat lawan tidak menerima dan terjadi

play07:22

perselisihan terjadi pertikaian terjadi

play07:27

miskomunikasi jadi youtheory mengajarkan

play07:31

kita untuk ya pada saat-saat tertentu ya

play07:36

mendengarkan

play07:37

Oh ya malah Kalo lawan sedang berbicara

play07:41

ya sebaiknya kita dengarkan sampai habis

play07:45

ini dalam dalam sebuah dialog ya Bukan

play07:47

dalam sebuah Tokyo saya banyak diserang

play07:49

masih lebih sering banget motong itu

play07:51

kepentingan show bukan itu Yang saya

play07:53

maksudkan Jadi kalau anda dalam

play07:55

berdialog komunikasi negosiasi malah

play07:58

dalam ilmu negosiasi Siapa yang lebih

play08:00

banyak bicara itu cenderung

play08:02

kemungkinannya akan lebih banyak kalah

play08:04

ia dalam sebuah negosiasi orang yang di

play08:07

pen yang diam yang pasif kadang-kadang

play08:09

lebih menguntungkan dalam ilmu negosiasi

play08:12

betapa pentingnya ya jangan ada

play08:15

menyepelekan ya apa bahwa kita harus

play08:18

mendengar jangan tipe menjadi orang

play08:20

dikasih masukkan given gitu jangan

play08:23

menjadi orang seperti itu orang-orang

play08:25

yang ditandai itu rata-rata enggak

play08:27

banyak gitu tambahan ilmunya kita dapat

play08:30

ilmu banyak gitu kalau kita mau

play08:32

mendengarkan orang ya kita rugi kalau

play08:35

kita ngomong terus dan

play08:37

kita mendengar Oh dia banyak dapat ilmu

play08:40

dari kita kita dapat nothing hanya

play08:42

kepuasan emosi bau kita tidak kalah

play08:44

hati-hati ini adalah ilmu untuk mencapai

play08:48

sukses jadi sebaiknya menurut saya

play08:50

jadilah seorang public speaker yang baik

play08:52

tetapi jadilah juga seorang public

play08:54

license yang baik walaupun istilah ini

play08:56

tidak ada jangan dipencet kalau orang

play08:58

ngomong itu Uh langsung dilihat dari Sil

play09:02

takut banget kalau kalau menganggap

play09:04

bahwa kita itu kurang pinter kurang

play09:07

hebat hanya dengan mendengarkan orang

play09:09

lain kita baru ngomong dia panjang

play09:12

mengedipkan banget nama lain yg hidup

play09:14

ini bukan kalah-menang hidup ini

play09:16

bagaimana kita menambah ilmu menambah

play09:19

wawasan menambah pengetahuan menambah

play09:21

rezeki dari interaksi-interaksi itu

play09:24

kadang kita ngomong kadang kita harus

play09:26

juga mendengarkan kata orang dia melihat

play09:28

bahwa yang ngomong nih ada umurnya lebih

play09:30

muda dulu sekolahnya Semarang Aduh

play09:32

nyontek sama gua ya enggak bisa begitu

play09:36

Oh iya saya pun sekarang belajar banyak

play09:38

terutama dalam dunia YouTube ini saya

play09:40

akan nol nih yang membimbing saya atau

play09:42

mengajak saya adalah anak-anak yang

play09:44

usianya lebih muda bahkan anak muda

play09:46

banget have to listen to the set

play09:49

dengerin mereka Oh begitu ya Oh begitu

play09:51

ya Oh saya kalau televisi hatam kali

play09:54

Tetapi dunia YouTube ada dunia yang

play09:56

berbeda dalam dunia televisi pun saya

play09:59

banyak mendengar karena dinamis kali itu

play10:01

berubah duniatv berubah apalagi dunia

play10:03

YouTube berubah apa yang menjadi

play10:04

trending topic sekarang belum juga jadi

play10:06

trend topic minggu depan ya Jadi kita

play10:09

harus keep update keep update belajar

play10:12

dari apa youtuber youtuber top sekarang

play10:15

ini ada mister Beast saya kemarin lihat

play10:17

ini kemana oh seorang Deddy Corbuzier

play10:19

tuh menjelma berulang-ulang atau

play10:21

mengganti format ya jadi menurut saya

play10:23

kembali kepada ilmu kehidupan ya kita ya

play10:27

harus juga mendengarkan kata orang nah

play10:30

Celakanya Celakanya Saya pernah bicara

play10:32

ya bahwa untuk sukses anda harus menjadi

play10:34

orang yang pandai betul

play10:36

komunikasi termasuk public speaking

play10:38

ilmunya public speaking ada ilmunya

play10:41

negosiasi itu kursusnya Anda maksudnya

play10:44

iya kan ilmu untuk menjadi komunikator

play10:46

yang baik ada tapi ilmu yang mengajarkan

play10:50

untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik tidak

play10:53

ada ya saya Biarin ajalah mau Becky

play10:56

Charles Bonar bikin sekolah public

play10:59

speaking jangan-jangan saya bikin kontak

play11:02

pabrik listening Percayalah orang-orang

play11:05

hebat saya udah banyak di ketemu

play11:07

konglomerat orang hebat adalah bukan

play11:10

saja pembicara yang baik tetapi juga

play11:12

adalah seorang pendengar yang juga

play11:14

sangat baik

play11:16

ayo kita belajar bukan dari kita bicara

play11:19

tapi kita belajar itu adalah dari kita

play11:23

mendengar itu kalau kita ngomong orang

play11:26

yang menyerap ilmu kita

play11:28

Hai Tetapi kalau kita mendengar kita

play11:30

menyerap ilmu orang ya semoga tips ini

play11:34

kontroversi memang ya seorang hell biaya

play11:37

yang dianggap komunikator itu public

play11:39

speaker yang baik itu mengajarkan kita

play11:42

eh

play11:44

Hai Mari kita darinurani semoga ini

play11:48

menjadi ilmu sukses yang bermanfaat bye

play11:57

[Musik]

play12:03

[Musik]

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