Why Your Dismissive Avoidant Ex Wants To Be Friends! | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Relationships

Summary

In this personal development video, Tais Gibson discusses three reasons why a dismissive avoidant ex might want to be friends after a breakup. The first reason is a genuine interest in reconciliation, which is common despite dismissive avoidants usually not seeking friendships post-breakup. The second is a mix of regret and hesitation about the breakup, leading to a push-pull dynamic. The third reason, more common in early stages of dating, is seeking attention or positive reinforcement. Gibson also touches on the importance of clear communication and setting boundaries in these situations.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Dismissive-avoidant exes rarely seek friendship after a breakup; they typically desire space and independence.
• 🔄 The most common reason for a dismissive-avoidant ex to reach out is potential interest in reconciliation, although they might not communicate this directly.
• 😕 They may exhibit a push-pull dynamic, being open yet hesitant due to their fears, which can confuse the other party.
• 🕒 The timing of the breakup influences their behavior; early-stage breakups might see them seeking attention or reassurance.
• 🗣️ Communication is key when dealing with dismissive-avoidant exes, as they might not clearly express their intentions.
• 🔗 Long-term friendships before a relationship can alter the dynamic, with dismissive-avoidant individuals possibly wanting to maintain or return to friendship.
• 🔄 They might reach out sporadically, seeking positive reinforcement without committing to ongoing communication.
• 🚫 It's crucial to establish boundaries to prevent an emotional cycle of healing and reopening old wounds.
• 🧩 The dismissive-avoidant's behavior can be influenced by the relationship's stage, whether it was a power struggle or dating phase when it ended.
• 📈 The speaker offers a series of webinars to delve deeper into attachment styles and their interactions in relationships.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is discussing the reasons why a dismissive avoidant ex-partner might be interested in being friends after a breakup.

What are the three major patterns that show up in terms of dismissive avoidant ex reaching out after a breakup?

The three major patterns are: 1) The person is interested in trying to get back together. 2) They regret breaking up and are looking for connection. 3) They are seeking attention or positive reinforcement.

Why is it rare for a dismissive avoidant person to want just a friendship after a breakup?

It is rare because dismissive avoidants usually want to close down, take space, and focus on themselves after a breakup. They typically don't want to associate with someone who hurt them.

What is the common reason for a dismissive avoidant ex reaching back out after a breakup?

The most common reason is that there is still some interest in trying to get back together.

How does a dismissive avoidant person communicate their interest in getting back together?

They often do not communicate this directly, which can leave the other person confused. They may assume their intentions are obvious from their behavior.

What is the second most common reason for a dismissive avoidant ex to reach out after a breakup?

The second reason is that they regret the breakup and are interested in seeing if the relationship could still work, but they are hesitant.

What does the behavior of a dismissive avoidant person look like when they are hesitant about rekindling a relationship?

Their behavior may show a push-pull dynamic, being open and connected but not too much, with their walls still up a bit, then retreating back into their shell.

Why can dismissive avoidant people stay in the 'gray area' longer than others?

They can stay longer because they get many of their needs met from themselves and don't feel as tortured by the uncertainty as other attachment styles.

What is the third reason a dismissive avoidant ex might reach out after a breakup?

The third reason is to get their need for attention, significance, or positive reinforcement met.

How can you tell if a dismissive avoidant person is just seeking positive reinforcement rather than wanting to invest in the relationship?

They might reach out, but not carry on the conversation after you respond, indicating they are just getting a need met without wanting to invest in the relationship.

What is the effect of having been friends before a relationship on the dynamics after a breakup?

If friends for a long time before becoming romantic, a dismissive avoidant might just want to maintain the friendship or try to get back to it after a breakup.