Ghosted My Cheating Wife & Got Married to Our Child’s Nanny Instead
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of 'Our Space,' we delve into a tale of love, betrayal, and redemption. A man recounts his journey from a tumultuous marriage, marked by his ex-wife's infidelity and bullying, to finding happiness with his child's nanny. The story navigates the complexities of divorce, custody battles, and the emergence of a new, loving relationship. Meanwhile, another individual grapples with trust issues after discovering their partner's past indiscretions, highlighting the importance of honesty and integrity in the early stages of a relationship.
Takeaways
- 😔 The narrator experienced a tumultuous relationship with an ex-wife who engaged in cheating and manipulative behavior, leading to a divorce.
- 🏡 After the divorce, the narrator meticulously planned his exit, including moving to a new house, removing himself from shared responsibilities, and filing for divorce without confrontation.
- 📱 The narrator faced a barrage of texts and calls from his ex-wife's family, ranging from apologies to threats, prompting him to change his phone number.
- 👨👦👦 The divorce proceedings were challenging, with the ex-wife making false accusations, but the narrator successfully gained primary custody of his son.
- 🏠 The narrator found peace and a sense of relief after moving out and starting a new life with his son, free from the previous relationship's stress.
- 💔 The ex-wife attempted to re-enter the narrator's life, using various tactics including love bombing and trying to move in uninvited, all of which were firmly rejected.
- 💑 The narrator developed a close relationship with his son's care provider, who was significantly different in character from his ex-wife, leading to a new, happy marriage.
- 👶 The narrator's current wife, despite the age gap, has been accepted by his son as a mother figure, indicating a strong and loving bond.
- 🚫 The ex-wife's attempt to confront the narrator's new wife was met with further legal action, reinforcing the boundaries established for her behavior.
- 👶🏻 The narrator and his current wife are planning to have a child together, signifying a stable and forward-looking relationship.
- 🤔 The script also presents another individual's dilemma of feeling betrayed by a partner who had a casual relationship before becoming exclusive, sparking a debate on trust and commitment in the early stages of dating.
Q & A
What was the main issue that led to the narrator's divorce from his ex-wife?
-The main issue was the ex-wife's infidelity, as she was cheating on the narrator with her ex.
How did the narrator handle the situation when he discovered his ex-wife's cheating?
-The narrator carefully planned his departure, found a new house, removed himself from the apartment lease and joint accounts, and left while his ex-wife was away for facial therapy.
What was the reaction from the ex-wife's family after the narrator left?
-The ex-wife's family initially apologized and begged the narrator to reconsider the divorce, but later some family members sent threats and insults.
How did the court handle the custody and financial aspects of the divorce?
-The court awarded the narrator primary custody of his son, dismissed his ex-wife's claim of kidnapping, and required her to have supervised visitation due to her threatening messages. The narrator was also awarded almost all of his money and only had to pay a small amount of alimony for a year.
How did the narrator's relationship with his son's care provider develop?
-The care provider and the narrator grew close over time, and she eventually confessed her attraction to him, leading to a relationship.
What was the age difference between the narrator and his second wife?
-There was an 11-year age difference, with the narrator being 30 and his second wife being 19 when they started dating.
How did the narrator's ex-wife try to re-enter his life after the divorce?
-The ex-wife tried to re-enter his life by expressing regret, attempting to move in with him, and using love bombing tactics, but the narrator refused her attempts.
What was the narrator's reaction when his ex-wife confronted his current wife at her nursing school?
-The narrator was very upset and nearly got physical with his ex-wife. They filed more restraining orders against her, and she is now not allowed to be near his family.
What is the current status of the narrator's relationship with his ex-wife's family?
-The narrator remains close with his ex-wife's cousins, who respect him and continue to ask about his well-being and his son.
What is the narrator's advice for others who have been betrayed in a relationship?
-The narrator advises not to settle for anything less than love and respect, and to believe that there is always someone who will value you more.
Outlines
💔 Overcoming Betrayal: A Tale of Divorce and New Love
The narrator recounts his journey from a tumultuous marriage to finding happiness with his child's nanny. He describes his ex-wife's infidelity and the subsequent divorce, which was contentious and involved legal battles over their son. Despite the challenges, he emerges stronger, eventually marrying the nanny who provided a stark contrast to his ex-wife with her kindness and support. The story concludes with the narrator's current wife facing a confrontation from his ex, leading to further legal measures to protect their family.
😔 The Dilemma of Trust: Navigating Early Relationship Betrayals
The second paragraph details a man's struggle with trust after discovering his girlfriend had a casual encounter while they were dating. Despite the girlfriend's insistence that they were not officially exclusive at the time, the man feels deceived, as they had been on multiple dates and were moving towards a serious relationship. The girlfriend's friends are revealed to have encouraged her to keep her options open, which the man finds manipulative. After much deliberation, he decides to end the relationship, prioritizing his desire for a partner who treats him with respect from the start.
🤔 The Conundrum of Dating Rules: When Logic Fails
This paragraph explores the complexities of dating and the inconsistencies in people's actions versus their stated intentions. It discusses a scenario where a woman justifies casual hookups while simultaneously seeking a serious relationship, leaving her partner feeling like a second choice. The narrative includes commentary from others who express their views on the situation, with a general consensus that such behavior is unacceptable in the context of a budding relationship. The paragraph concludes with the decision to end the relationship, highlighting the importance of trust and consistent behavior from the outset.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Ghosting
💡Cheating
💡Divorce
💡Primary Care Provider
💡Gaslighting
💡Custody
💡Restraining Orders
💡Love Bombing
💡Second Chance
💡Infidelity
💡Self-Centered
Highlights
A man shares his journey from a painful divorce to finding happiness with his child's nanny.
The narrator's ex-wife was self-centered and uninvolved in family responsibilities.
The ex-wife's infidelity was the final straw leading to the narrator's decision to leave.
A strategic and swift departure from the marriage involved moving and blocking all contact.
The ex-wife's family had mixed reactions, including apologies and threats.
The divorce process was contentious, with accusations of kidnapping and infidelity.
The narrator was awarded primary custody, highlighting his role as the primary caregiver.
The ex-wife's attempts to re-enter the narrator's life were met with firm refusals.
The nanny's gentle and supportive nature contrasted sharply with the ex-wife's behavior.
A slow and careful courtship with the nanny eventually led to marriage.
The narrator's son's acceptance of the nanny as a mother figure was a pivotal moment.
The ex-wife's continued attempts to disrupt the narrator's new life were met with legal actions.
The ex-wife's social media posts about forgiveness and victimhood were seen as insincere.
The narrator's current wife's kindness and understanding helped him overcome trust issues.
The couple is planning to have a child together, signifying a fresh start.
A second story involves a man considering ending a relationship due to his girlfriend's past casual encounters.
The girlfriend's justification for her past actions was deemed unsatisfactory by the man.
The man decides to break up with his girlfriend, prioritizing trust and respect from the start of a relationship.
Transcripts
hey hey hey time for the out of this
world story from
ourspace never settle for less than you
deserve there's always someone out there
who will love and respect you more today
on our space just another
statistic of first an OP looking for a
second chance at
love I ghosted a cheating ex-wife years
later I married my child's Nanny and now
I'm now a statistic and a Trope but I am
so happy
I really struggled about making this
post because my divorce is still a great
source of anger at times not much as it
used to be but it really triggers my
negative brain but my therapist told me
that it helps to write a journal my
ex-wife and I had a 2-year relationship
we had our son before we married and I
really tried hard to be a good husband
and father starting as an introvert
meant that I really had to start from
scratch but I can honestly say I did my
best to learn my ex and I were total
opposites and maybe opposites attracted
in the beginning but then we started to
butt heads a lot my ex-wife I learned
hated to compromise and would use
bullying and gaslighting tactics to get
her way she was a spender and wanted to
splurge on things because she thought
that she deserved it looking back she
wasn't really a good mom or wife she was
very self-centered and spent more time
on her phone than with me or my son I
took care of everything including my
son's hospital and Etc and she didn't
want any more responsibility while I was
being burnt out from all the work and
responsibilities
the last draw was when she was cheating
on me with her ex both of us knew that
infidelity was not acceptable from the
beginning in the deal breaker as soon as
I learned I knew that I needed to leave
or start a fight so I carefully planned
how I was going to leave I found a house
to rent 2 hours away from where we were
I work remotely so that wasn't an issue
I removed myself from the apartment
lease and all of the utilities removed
myself from the joint account that we
had and moved while wife went to leave
for some facial therapy before I left I
left her with divorce papers with copies
of evidence that I also sent to her
family members exactly at the same time
the moving company and I left our old
apartment I blocked on everything I
could basically I left everything in 6
hours after I moved everything into my
new place I was bombarded by texts and
calls from her side of the family mostly
I got apologies from her cousins since
they knew from the beginning what might
happen her mom apologized a lot saying
that she didn't raise her daughter well
and both her and my ex's Aunt begged me
to reconsider the divorce then I started
getting messages of threats and insults
from my ex at a different number I just
kept blocking those but it got so bad
that I just got a new phone the divorce
was slightly rough because of my ex my
ex tried to say that I kidnapped my son
and tried to sue me but I presented all
the facts that I was the one solely
responsible for everything at home and
for our son's Health speech therapy Etc
the judge was surprisingly understanding
and said that since I was the primary
care provider for my son he dismissed my
ex's claim and then I present all the
evidence of of my ex's infidelity
including all the money she spent I even
got the affair partner to confess long
story short the affair partner still
lived with his parents and I threatened
to sue him for alienation of affection
unless he confessed it was a long shot
to be honest but he caved in because of
all the evidence I was given almost all
of my money I just had to pay my ex a
little bit of alimony for a year since
she quit her work and during custody I
was rewarded primary custody with my ex
getting supervised visitation she only
got that because of all the threatening
messages that she sent me she shot
herself in the foot it was so bad for
her because I now lived 2 hours away
from her by car and she couldn't drive
so she didn't even visit my son for
months until she got her cousin to drive
her I didn't really realize how bad it
was until only after I started Living by
myself and my son I felt like a huge
weight was off my shoulders and I felt
at peace with myself so I decided to
make the best of this change I still
worked at home and because of my son's
autism I was able to get a care provider
to care for my son and get an ABA
therapist to help his therapy at home it
was so much better than I can't describe
in words my ex shifted tactics after a
few months of seeing my son saying that
she regretted her actions and wanted to
be a better person for me and my son but
I wasn't having it one time she came
with her luggage and tried to move in
but I refused and called the cops
everything from gaslighting to crying
and everything to get her way again so I
told her to never come back I even got
the judge to deny her visitation since
she tried to force her way into moving
in a few times she then started love
bombing me with texts she even got her
mom and Aunt to help her but since that
was still with my old phone I just ended
up giving it up to a cell phone disposal
for a chunk of change then about one
school year passed and my son's care
provider and I got really close she was
very sweet and gentle so much different
from my ex she was so helpful and
thoughtful and so positive but she was
11 years younger than me back then I was
30 and she was 19 going to nursing
school so I didn't make any advances but
one day when my son was down for his nap
she cooked for me a wonderful meal and
we ate together and she confessed to
being attracted to me she told me that
she wanted to date me for real I
initially thought that it wasn't going
to be that smooth since respit care
providers have rules about
fraternization and getting close with
clients and the age Gap was certainly an
issue but she said that she would quit
her provider work if she had to I told
her I needed time to think in process my
divorce really had shattered my desire
to date anyone but I was so attracted to
her so I told her that I would like to
do this slowly and proc properly and
four years of dating and her graduating
and becoming a full-time nurse we tied
the knot I learned from my past mistakes
and decided to be a much better husband
to her and thanks to her vivaciousness
that wasn't hard to do my son even
called her mom now in fact the first
time he did that was when I knew I had
to marry her and I admit I took the
relationship very slowly because I
wanted to be careful strangely enough
I'm still close with my ex's cousins
they're all old school and while they
care for my ex they respect me even more
and always ask about my son and how I'm
doing all of them are either
firefighters in military so they don't
play they even invite my family and I to
vacation with them and now the sore
portion that still makes me angry my ex
she somehow found out my wife a few
years back and confronted her at her
freaking nurse school that really scared
my now wife and I nearly punched her
when I came to break up the situation my
now wife and I filed more restraining
orders against her and now my ex is now
not allowed to be anywhere near my
family even our son she can only video
chat with him now or have supervised
visitation in a place of our choosing
after our divorce finalized she returned
back to work and got herself living
alone over the years she tried to get
her cousins to convince me to help her
but they just straight up refused even
her mom and aunt gave her up our last
talk with each other she told me what
she could have done to have gotten me
back and I jokingly said that she would
have to join the military to learn some
discipline and she actually did join
only to be kicked out out for some
disciplinary reason or something now she
is just passive aggressive posting on
social media about forgiveness Second
Chances and how modern women are victims
and some of her followers actually
believe her
lies my current wife told me not to
worry about it she is so kind and
understanding knowing that I have so
many trust issues and such we are
planning to have our first child
together soon and I want to do things
better this time I guess the moral of
the story that I want to tell every
betrayed man is there is always someone
who will love and respect you more than
your current spouse don't settle for
anything anything
less trying to move back in it's like
she thought she could hit the reset
button on your relationship without even
asking if it was okay too little too
late it's almost like she thought you'd
open the door and say oh great you're
back I missed all the chaos well and I'm
not surprised she got kicked out for
disciplinary reasons when all she did
was Gaslight you throughout your
marriage too bad she didn't realize that
getting kicked out of the military for
discipline issues is just a different
kind of Failure to Launch and the irony
that her ex aair partner caved under
your threats is priceless but hey it
sounds like you found your happy ending
with someone who brings real positivity
into your life what do you think do you
think op handled this
well next up swiping left never felt so
good for our next
op my 27 male girlfriend 22 female of a
year slept with another guy while we
were taking it slow a month into dating
me I have been with this girl I'll call
Jess for close to a year now since
specifics matter here we started dating
around last Thanksgiving but it was only
about a month later when we said we were
in an official relationship I really
liked this girl from the get-go and
we've gotten very close since then and
we're actually planning on moving
together soon here's a problem recently
Jess and I ran into a guy at a small get
together with mutual friends they
exchanged a weird look like there was
something between them but I didn't
think too much of it at the time during
the party something came up about the
place Jess went to for a date the time
was clear since it was Christmas Market
in my town
and again I thought something was off
about the guy well later that night I
actually got a text from him he got my
number from one of the mutual friends
but said hey I don't know you but I
thought you should know that Jess and I
hooked up night after Christmas I
confronted Jess about this and I could
tell she tensed up right away she got
this sad look on her face but confessed
right away she said that she met this
guy on Tinder and hooked up a couple of
times but stopped any contact before we
became official she said she wasn't sure
we would get into a relationship at the
time but she still felt bad about that I
found out this way she said she
considered telling me but was afraid it
would ruin things between us I told her
I needed some time to think and
proceeded to get drunk that night and
ignored her texts the thing is I feel
very betrayed and I'm really considering
ending things sure we weren't official
when this happened but we had already
been on multiple dates at the time and I
thought it was pretty clear that we were
moving towards a full-fledged
relationship on my side I had no
interest in pursuing other girls at that
point because I only wanted to be with
Jess and on her end she was definitely
hinting at us evolving into a couple and
strongly hinting at exclusivity the
other part that kills me is that during
this early stage Jess specifically said
she wanted to take things slow
physically until we knew each other
better but during the same time she
hooks up with a guy she barely knew from
Tinder when I asked her about this she
said it's different because she took it
slow with me specifically because she
thought we would get into a relationship
but it was somehow different with a
casual hookup that logic makes zero
sense to me I don't really want to talk
about this with my friends because I
think they would hate Jess if we ended
up staying together but I would like to
hear opinions on here would you stay in
a relationship like this if things were
going well but the beginning was so
shady ask for opinions and we'll get
some first opinion in my opinion if
you're dating someone and moving towards
a serious relationship you don't
freaking bang other people this would be
a deal breaker for me but you do you man
if you can't get past it then end
it thep replies yeah that's how I feel
as well well it would have been one
thing if she was just talking to other
guys in the early stages while we were
still defining things of course that's
fine and normal but it feels like a slap
in the face that she found another guy
to sleep with after we had already gone
on quite a few dates and I made it clear
I thought we were moving towards a
serious relationship which she seemed to
also acknowledge there's no way she
didn't know I would feel hurt that she
did
that the op also added to a deleted
comment yeah her logic made no sense to
me she tried to explain that with guys
she wants to be in a relation ship she
wants to feel special and wants to build
an emotional connection but her guys she
sees no future with she sometimes just
wanted some physical fun that meant
nothing but I just can't wrap my mind
about that it feels like a gut punch
that as we were getting closer and
building a connection she didn't want to
be intimate with me but instead
preferred to find someone else no matter
how she rationalizes it it's hard not to
feel like a second choice of
[Music]
sorts it's almost impressive how she
managed to mix up exclusivity with a
side of casual hookups maybe she thought
the term taking things slow was a
culinary reference like slow roasting a
relationship while quickly seasoning it
with random Tinder dates if you're
looking for a clear answer it would be
to get out of there as soon as possible
if she's not willing to follow her own
rules from the start she's never going
to update 23 days later as the title
says I decided to break up Jess I kept
going back and forth because I was
worried I was throwing away a great
thing over something that happened in
the past but the problem problem is I
thought I really wouldn't be able to get
past it I can't help what she did was
really crappy yeah I know that
technically she did not cheat but she
knew that I wanted a relationship and
that we were potentially moving in that
direction but meanwhile she expected me
to plan and pay for interesting dates
Court her and proved that I was worthy
of her while she happily hooked up with
randos who basically did nothing but
show an interest in screwing F that in a
follow-up conversation it also came up
that her friends guilted her to act like
this that she should basically allow
herself to have fun and to keep her
casual options open but with me to make
me work for it and show that I wasn't
just looking for sex but was capable of
becoming a committed partner the whole
thing just seemed so manipulative and
ugly and these were also mutual friends
who I consider to be nice girls and now
my friends as well now I never want to
see any of those pieces of crap ever
again anyway I know this is starting to
sound a bit like a rant but I felt
pretty pissed off and basically called
it quits the actual breakup was actually
quite unpleasant No harsh words were
exchanged but Jess cried and we kind of
talked about some happy times I guess
that's the hardest part about this like
I don't think she is a bad girl and
maybe we could have had a nice future
together like we did over the past few
months but in the end I do think I made
the right decision I want to be with
someone who treats me well from the
get-go not someone who manipulates me
while playing games just so she can have
her cake and eat it
too she just wanted the cake and a full
five course meal you made the right call
op if nothing else you've learned that
dating Jess was like trying to win a
game where the rules keep changing so
long Jess see you never again what would
you have done and thank you for joining
us today on ourspace be sure to like And
subscribe and hit the notification Bell
so you don't miss out on our next video
see you next time
[Music]
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