The Key to Effective Leadership
Summary
TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the importance of patience and consistency in leadership, drawing parallels to personal relationships and faith. They stress that people come to belief and trust at their own pace, and leaders must meet them where they are. Small, consistent actions, like putting away phones during conversations, matter more than occasional grand gestures. The goal is to create a culture where everyone feels valued and motivated to contribute to the organization's growth.
Takeaways
- đ Patience with Belief: The story of Bob Chapman highlights the importance of patience and understanding when it comes to faith and belief, suggesting that people come to realizations in their own time.
- đ€ Respecting Individual Journeys: The script emphasizes the need to respect each person's unique journey and experiences, acknowledging that we cannot know their full story and should not rush their process of belief or change.
- đ Adaptability in Leadership: It's important to meet people where they are in their personal and professional development, allowing for different paces of adaptation to new environments or cultures.
- đ Consistency Over Intensity: Consistency in small actions is more impactful over time than occasional intense efforts. Leadership is about the daily, mundane actions that accumulate to significant effects.
- đ The Power of Presence: By putting away phones and devices during interactions, one can demonstrate that they value the person they are with, fostering a sense of importance and respect.
- đŹ Active Listening: Genuinely caring about others' well-being by actively listening and responding to their concerns is a fundamental leadership skill.
- đ ïž Building Trust Through Small Acts: Repeated small acts of kindness and consideration, like bringing a drink for a spouse or pausing a game to talk, build trust and affection over time.
- đ± Cultivating a Culture: Creating a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued requires consistent leadership behaviors that make individuals feel important.
- đ The Impact of Distractions: Distractions such as phones can undermine the sense of importance during conversations, suggesting that leaders should avoid such behaviors to maintain trust and respect.
- đ€ Personal Connection: Simple acts of connection, like making eye contact and facing towards someone, can significantly enhance the power of communication.
- đ Long-Term Commitment: Leadership is a long-term commitment to performing small but meaningful actions consistently, which ultimately leads to a strong and dedicated team.
Q & A
What crisis was Bob Chapman facing when he approached his priest?
-Bob Chapman was facing a crisis of faith, as he was doubting his belief in God.
What advice did the priest give Bob regarding his crisis of faith?
-The priest advised that people come to faith at different times and that it cannot be forced, emphasizing that God still believes in individuals even if they are struggling with their faith.
Why is it important not to expect immediate belief or conversion from someone?
-It's important because everyone has their own story and experiences that may have led to skepticism or caution, and these personal histories should be respected.
What is the significance of being consistent in leadership?
-Consistency in leadership is crucial because it builds trust and credibility over time. It's the accumulation of small, consistent actions that make a significant impact.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'intensity' to leadership?
-The speaker uses 'intensity' to describe short-term, high-impact actions like intense education or events, which are easily measured but may not sustain long-term change.
What is the role of 'little things' in building a culture of leadership?
-The 'little things' like saying good morning or pausing a game to talk are small actions that, when done consistently, can significantly contribute to building a positive and supportive culture.
Why is it beneficial to put away your phone during meetings or conversations?
-Putting away your phone signals to others that they have your full attention, making them feel valued and important, which is essential for building strong relationships.
What does the speaker suggest as an easy yet powerful leadership practice?
-One easy practice is to genuinely care about others' well-being by asking how they are doing and actually listening to their responses, showing genuine concern.
How does the speaker describe the impact of consistent small actions in a relationship?
-The speaker illustrates that consistent small acts of kindness and attention, like getting a drink for a partner or pausing a game to talk, can lead to deep emotional connections, such as love.
What is the analogy used by the speaker to explain the importance of daily habits in leadership?
-The speaker uses the analogy of brushing teeth and going to the dentist to emphasize the need for both daily habits and occasional intense actions for overall effectiveness in leadership.
What does the speaker mean by 'meeting people where they are' in the context of leadership?
-It means understanding and accepting individuals at their current stage of belief or engagement and allowing them to progress at their own pace, rather than expecting immediate full commitment.
Outlines
đ Faith and Personal Belief
The script begins with a story about Bob Chapman's crisis of faith, where he confides in his priest about his doubts in God. The priest's response highlights the importance of patience and understanding in belief, suggesting that people come to faith at their own pace and that their personal stories and experiences must be considered. The narrative emphasizes the need for consistency and the impact of small, consistent actions over time, drawing a parallel between faith and leadership.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄCrisis of faith
đĄConversion
đĄLeadership
đĄConsistency
đĄIntensity
đĄCultural Fit
đĄEmpathy
đĄTrust
đĄPersonal Story
đĄProfessional Development
đĄDaily Routine
Highlights
Bob Chapman's crisis of faith and his conversation with the priest about belief and acceptance.
The priest's perspective on the importance of timing in personal growth and belief conversion.
Acknowledging the unknown stories and experiences of individuals that influence their beliefs and behaviors.
The concept of not forcing belief or conversion, allowing people to come at their own pace.
The challenge of expecting new employees to be fully engaged within the first few weeks of employment.
The importance of meeting people where they are in their personal and professional journeys.
The balance between intensity and consistency in leadership and personal interactions.
The impact of small, consistent actions over time versus sporadic intense efforts.
The analogy of falling in love through small, everyday actions rather than grand gestures.
The necessity of daily 'teeth brushing' in leadership, emphasizing routine and mundane tasks.
The demonstration of making someone feel important by not using a phone during a conversation.
The psychological effect of phones on interpersonal interactions and the importance of putting them away.
The power of eye contact and facing someone directly during a conversation.
The significance of genuinely caring about others' well-being and being present in conversations.
The leadership test of truly asking and caring about how someone is doing.
Building a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued through consistent leadership practices.
The long-term impact of building trust and loyalty through small, consistent actions in leadership.
Transcripts
my friend Bob Chapman when he was
younger he he he he was having a crisis
of
faith and so he went to his
priest and he says
um I I uh I don't think I believe in I
don't think I believe in God and His
priest said good thing God still
believes in
you people come along at different times
like you can't force someone to have a
conversion or you can't force somebody
to believe if we we don't know what
their story is we don't know that maybe
they've worked for horrible people in
the past maybe they've come from
companies that had terrible cultures
maybe they've been twice Once Bitten
Twice Shy like maybe they're coming with
their guard up like I don't know what
their experiences I don't know what
their story is so just because we are
well-intentioned and we're all like
chipper chipper and studying leadership
that we expect that they come in in the
first three weeks of their employment
how come you're not all in everybody
else here is all in like you got to meet
people where they are some people jump
right in head first and they're really
excited when they come into a new
culture um and some people are slower
just let them come at their own pace but
you just keep doing the right thing and
most importantly you got to be
consistent right you can't just do it
once or twice you got to do it all the
time and it's the little things that add
up more than the big things so I always
think the balance of intensity versus
consistency so intensity is something
like this you've come in for three days
it's an intense time it's intense
education you're on this this is and
anything intense is easily measured um
and and and captured in time right but
consistency is the little stuff that is
innocuous and doesn't seem to do
anything like saying good morning you
know in the hallway well that does
nothing if you do it once but what if
you do it every day you know like how
long you know when did your wife fall in
love with you like I don't know like it
wasn't because you remembered her
birthday or border her flowers and
Valentine's Day those are intensity it's
the little things you did like when you
went to get a drink from the fridge and
you just brought one back for her or the
game was on and said honey can I talk to
you and you hit pause on the game and
you said sure what's on your mind right
like little things like that that in in
a vacuum do nothing but when they add up
people fall in love and it's the same in
leadership it's the little things it's
the brushing your teeth not going to the
dentist you have to go to the dentist
twice a year that's intensity but if
that's all you do your teeth full out so
you can't just rely on the big rahas the
big leadership things the big coaching
things very important you got to brush
your teeth for 2 minutes in the morning
and 2 minutes in the evening every every
single day and it only works if you keep
doing it and that's what leadership is
it's the boring mundane daily little
things and some of it is so easy some of
it is so easy right let let me show you
one of the easiest things you can do can
I borrow someone's phone can is phone I
can borrow yeah thanks I'm G to show you
something I'll show you a little thing
right so here I am I'm sitting in my
office and you walk into my office uh
and while I'm sitting here just now now
right do you feel I'm not I'm not making
a phone call it's not buzzing it's not
beeping I'm just holding it do you feel
like you're the most important thing to
me right
now no right there's a deep-seated
psychological reaction to the device I'm
not doing anything so we show up to a
meeting and we put the phone on the
table and by the way putting the phone
face down is not more
polite right how do you think it makes
people feel makes you makes them feel
that they're not the most important
thing right now if somebody walks into
your office and it's just on the desk
how do you think it makes people feel
employees or
patients uh or worse when somebody looks
away and you're on it for 30 seconds how
do you think it makes people
feel right put the phone away when
there's another person that you want
them to feel like they matter it's so
easy put it in a back pocket put it on a
shelf put it on a
drawer eye contact thank you very much
can you catch
well done so eye contact right uh facing
your body towards somebody hey can I
talk to you sure what's on your mind
right little little things like I said
these things in a vacuum do nothing but
if you do them over and over and over
again I can tell you how powerful they
are a marine once told me he says his
test for being a leader is if you ask
somebody how they're doing you actually
care about the answer how are you uh
it's been a hard day okay cool well I'll
check you after lunch
right no how are you not doing so good
what's what's going on right these are
skills they're very easy to learn
they're very easy to practice but you
got to do them and over the course of
time sometimes quicker for some people
sometimes slower for others you will
build an environment you will build a
culture where people feel seen feel
heard feel like their matter and you
will watch them give you their Blood
Sweat and Tears to help your business
grow that's how it works
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