Why we make choices that don't make sense | Steve Quayle | TEDxDoncaster
Summary
TLDRSteve C delivers an insightful TED Talk exploring the dynamics of conscious awareness and personal paradigms, particularly in relation to money. He shares his journey through the four levels of mastery, from unconscious incompetence to mastery, using martial arts as a metaphor. Steve also delves into the four states of being, from victim to 'as me', highlighting the importance of a positive outlook. His talk is a call to action for personal growth, encouraging optimism and the pursuit of knowledge to transcend limiting beliefs.
Takeaways
- đ€ The script discusses the concept of behavior that is opposite to what we consciously know or believe, highlighting the gap between awareness and action.
- đ§ It introduces the idea of 'paradigm' as a mental program that controls our habitual behavior, often formed from early life experiences.
- đ The speaker shares personal anecdotes from his upbringing, illustrating how family dynamics and conversations can shape our financial beliefs.
- đȘ The four levels of mastery or conscious awareness are presented: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, and mastery.
- đ¶ The first level, unconscious incompetence, is described as a state of ignorance where we are unaware of what we don't know.
- đ The second level, conscious incompetence, is the stage where we become aware of our lack of knowledge and seek to learn more.
- đ The third level, conscious competence, is reached when we are knowledgeable but still need to consciously apply what we've learned.
- đ The fourth level, mastery, is characterized by unconscious competence, where skills are performed without conscious thought, like breathing.
- đ„ A personal story about martial arts training and a fight illustrates the difference between theoretical knowledge and practical, unconscious competence.
- đ° The script touches on the influence of family discussions about money and wealth, and how these can instill a sense of lack or abundance.
- đ± Four states of being are mentioned: 'to me' (victim mentality), 'by me' (self-reliance), 'through me' (delegation and trust), and 'as me' (a state of spiritual connection rarely achieved).
- đ The importance of personal development and seeking knowledge through various resources like YouTube, books, and seminars is emphasized.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the speaker's TED Talk?
-The main theme of the speaker's TED Talk is exploring the concept of conscious awareness and mastery levels, as well as the different states of being that individuals live in, with a focus on personal development and growth.
What does the speaker mean by 'paradigm' in the context of the TED Talk?
-In the context of the TED Talk, 'paradigm' refers to a mental program that has almost exclusive control over our habitual behavior, which is often formed by our upbringing and experiences, and can significantly influence our beliefs and actions.
Can you explain the four levels of mastery or conscious awareness as mentioned in the script?
-The four levels of mastery or conscious awareness are: 1) Unconscious incompetence, where one is unaware of what they don't know; 2) Conscious incompetence, where one becomes aware of their lack of knowledge and seeks to learn; 3) Conscious competence, where one knows and understands but still has to consciously think about it; 4) Mastery or unconscious competence, where one can perform without conscious thought, like breathing.
What personal anecdote does the speaker share about his experience with martial arts?
-The speaker shares an anecdote about being almost a black belt in karate but losing a physical altercation to someone who had no formal martial arts training. This experience highlights the difference between theoretical knowledge and practical, unconscious competence.
How does the speaker's upbringing influence his perspective on money and belief systems?
-The speaker's upbringing, particularly the conversations around family finances and the stress associated with money, shaped his paradigm about money. His family's discussions about financial struggles and the belief that wealth was associated with dishonesty influenced his subconscious beliefs about money.
What are the four states of being that the speaker refers to in the script?
-The four states of being are: 1) To me (victim state), where one feels everything happens to them; 2) By me, where one takes control and responsibility for their life; 3) Through me, where one works and trusts the process, delegating and allowing things to unfold; 4) As me, a state of deep connection with the universe, often associated with spiritual masters.
What is the significance of the story about the pessimist, the optimist, and the opportunist?
-The story illustrates the idea that while the pessimist and optimist are focused on arguing about the state of the glass (half full or half empty), the opportunist takes action and drinks the water, rendering the argument moot. It suggests that action can be more important than endless debate.
How does the speaker's grandmother's behavior contribute to the speaker's understanding of money and lack?
-The speaker's grandmother's focus on the rising costs of goods and her discussions about money during horse racing advertisements instilled a sense of lack and limitation in the speaker, which is a common theme in conversations about money in his family.
What advice does the speaker give for personal growth and development?
-The speaker advises exploring personal growth and development with a positive and optimistic outlook. He suggests using resources like YouTube, books, and seminars to learn more about these topics and encourages expecting the good to find it.
What is the speaker's final message to the audience?
-The speaker's final message is to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, to take action, and to trust in the process, as most of the things people worry about never actually happen.
Outlines
đ Conflicting Actions and Unconscious Beliefs
The speaker begins by discussing the paradox of knowing something intellectually yet acting against it, highlighting the gap between conscious awareness and habitual behavior. He shares a personal anecdote about a rehearsal, where his actions were deemed potentially frightening for children, setting a tone for exploring models of consciousness and mastery. The speaker also provides background about his upbringing in Doncaster, using it as a segue into the discussion of money and how our belief systems and paradigms are formed. He mentions being mentored by Bob Proctor, who defined a paradigm as a mental program controlling habitual behavior, and relates this to the speaker's own family experiences and their impact on his beliefs about money.
đ§ The Four Levels of Conscious Awareness
The speaker delves into the four stages of conscious awareness, starting with 'unconscious incompetence,' where one is unaware of their ignorance. He then describes 'conscious incompetence,' the stage of recognizing one's lack of knowledge and beginning to learn. 'Conscious competence' is the next level, where one has knowledge but must consciously apply it. The final stage is 'unconscious competence,' or mastery, where skills are second nature. The speaker illustrates these stages with a personal story about his experience with martial arts, emphasizing the difference between theoretical knowledge and practical competence in real-life situations.
đĄ Childhood Influences on Financial Beliefs
The speaker recounts his childhood experiences that shaped his views on money. He talks about his family's financial discussions, which were often centered around lack and limitation, and how these conversations influenced his subconscious beliefs. He also describes the contrast between his family's financial situation and the wealth he observed in other parts of Doncaster, and the narratives his family created to explain wealth, often associating it with dishonesty. This paragraph explores the deep roots of financial paradigms and how early life experiences can impact one's relationship with money.
đ The Four States of Being
The speaker introduces a model of four states of being, learned from his friend Peter Sage. The first state is the 'victim' state, characterized by a sense of helplessness and external blame for one's circumstances. The second state is 'bu me,' where individuals take charge and responsibility for their outcomes. The third state, 'through me,' involves a balance of personal effort and trust in the universe to bring results. The final state, 'as me,' is a realm of spiritual masters who are deeply connected with the universe. The speaker encourages listeners to adopt a positive and optimistic outlook, suggesting that expectation shapes reality.
đ„ The Optimist and Pessimist Parable
In the concluding paragraph, the speaker tells a parable about an argument between an optimist and a pessimist over whether a glass is half full or half empty. The story illustrates the futility of focusing on perspectives that don't lead to action. An 'opportunist' character enters, drinks the water, and leaves, showing that while the two argue, the real opportunity is missed. The speaker uses this story to emphasize the importance of action over inaction and to leave the audience with a humorous yet poignant message about the power of positivity and seizing the moment.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄConscious Awareness
đĄParadigm
đĄHabitual Behavior
đĄLevels of Mastery
đĄUnconscious Competence
đĄBelief Systems
đĄPersonal Development
đĄStates of Being
đĄOptimism
đĄOpportunist
Highlights
The concept of intellectual and verbal knowledge versus habitual behavior is discussed, emphasizing the gap between what we know and how we act.
The speaker shares a personal anecdote to illustrate the impact of early life experiences on shaping our beliefs and behaviors.
The idea of 'paradigm' is introduced as a mental program that governs habitual behavior, affecting our relationship with various aspects of life.
A personal story about the speaker's upbringing in Doncaster and the influence of family dynamics on his perception of money.
The four levels of Mastery or conscious awareness are introduced: Unconscious Incompetence, Conscious Incompetence, Conscious Competence, and Mastery.
A personal martial arts story illustrates the transition from theoretical knowledge to practical unconscious competence.
The impact of family conversations on financial beliefs, suggesting that early exposure to discussions about money can shape one's financial paradigm.
The four states of being are presented: Victim, 'Bu Me', 'Through Me', and 'As Me', each representing different levels of personal empowerment and stress.
The speaker encourages a shift from a 'Victim' state to a more proactive 'Bu Me' state for personal growth and success.
The importance of delegation and trust in the 'Through Me' state to achieve a balanced and less stressful life.
A description of the 'As Me' state as an ideal but rare level of spiritual and mental connection, often associated with Zen Buddhist Masters.
The speaker's recommendation to maintain a balance between 'Bu Me' and 'Through Me' for effective personal and professional development.
The value of exploring personal development resources such as YouTube, books, and seminars for self-improvement.
A motivational message to approach life with a positive and optimistic outlook, expecting good outcomes to attract them.
The story of the Pessimist and the Optimist arguing over a glass of water, with the Opportunist intervening to make a point about seizing opportunities.
The conclusion emphasizes the importance of action and not getting caught up in endless debates or inaction.
Transcripts
why did you do
that I don't
know well you know better than to do
that don't you I know so why did you do
it I don't know is that familiar to
anybody we know things intellectually
and verbally and consciously we have
conscious awareness around things yet we
sometimes behave in a completely
opposite way but doesn't always serve
our best interests it was interesting
actually we did a rehearsal here two
weeks ago and um when I said uh why did
you do that Marcus said to me make sure
there's no kids sat down there you you
terrify them so what we're going to do
today is just really explore two four
stage models around one is around
conscious awareness levels of masteries
and the other one is around various
states that we all live in but first let
me just give you a little bit of
background about myself I was born and
raised in
Doncaster sounds like one of two of you
one of two of you were as well so I was
brought up uh right opposite a
pub called called the wheelie Hotel on
Thorn Road anybody know it anyone got
drunk in
there I know I certainly did very handy
place to be when I got into my mid to
18s uh but my formative years were spent
around the corner in wheatle Hills on
Grove Hill Road if anyone knows that
yeah just behind there and the reason
that we moved to Thorn Road is after
when I was seven is because uh my mom
was expecting a sist my my sister and we
needed another bedroom so what I'm going
to do is just take you a little insight
into my upbringing and I'm going to use
this segue very nicely the subject of
money because we all use it right on a
daily basis we can all relate to it to
see how our belief systems and our
paradigms are formed anyone know what a
paradigm is yes well I was I had the
privilege to be mentored and to work
with Bob Proctor if anyone's familiar
with him and he used to say a paradigm
is a mental program which has almost
exclusive
control over our habitual behavior and
here's the thing almost all our behavior
is guess what habitual right so I want
you to picture little Steve in Grove
Hill Road in the late 1960s or early'
70s sat around the dinner table with Mom
and Dad now we were just an ordinary
family we weren't rich but we weren't
poor my dad worked at um International
Harvesters does anybody remember that on
whe Hall Road it's not there anymore
it's full of housing Estates or
something like that and my mom worked at
pegler's down at the bottom of car Hill
and her best friend at work was one of
donc Caster's favorite Sons moms Kevin
Keegan footballer Mrs Keegan was the
cleaner there at pegas so she was a good
mate of my mom's there so there we are
sat around the table having dinner but
if anything came up on the fin family
finances side of things like the car
failed its mot or there was a need for
extra money then this was a big deal can
anyone relate to that yeah and my mom
got really stressed about this really
worried about it she'd have a head in
her hands and she'd be like how are we
going to pay the mortgage you know oh my
God Paul can you get any overtime to my
dad that sort of thing and when you grow
up listening to that sort of thing for 5
years 10 years 15 years it tends to form
your core belief system or your Paradigm
your unconscious belief system around
money and by the way this relates to
absolutely everything so we all have a
relationship with money we all have a
relationship with relationships we have
a relationship with our health and
nutrition in fact just about everything
that you can think about we have a
relationship and a belief system around
which operates subconsciously a bit like
a cybernetic system which which operates
the autopilot on a plane you all with me
so far good okay how we doing by the way
today all good it's been fantastic
absolutely fantastic and I'm really
privileged and honored to share the
stage with the speakers that have been
here before me absolutely amazing so
what we're going to get into is two
models of four the first one is what we
call the four levels of Mastery or
conscious awareness and the first one of
those is what we call unconscious
incompetence what's an unconscious
incompetent apart from something a bit
of a tongue twister for me to say Well
it simply means we don't know what we
don't know you're not aware of something
so you got awareness over here and
you've got its polar opposite which is
ignorance you're not aware of the fact
polar opposite of awareness is ignorance
and contrary to that Great British
phrase which phe ignorance is bliss I'm
here to tell you it's
not it really isn't ignorance is another
word beginning with b bondage not that
type of
bondage the type of bondage which keeps
you stuck where you are spinning your
wheels but if we move up to the second
stage of awareness called unconscious
sorry conscious
incompetence this is now where we become
aware of something and we might might
want to study it a little bit we might
want to broaden our Horizons take some
classes read some books do some seminars
spend a year or two getting into it and
really getting to know what that topic
is what that subject is and then we can
move up to the third level of awareness
which is called conscious competence now
we're really aware of something we know
what's going on we're educated on it
we're more knowledgeable we're not in
that state of ignorance or anywhere near
it but we still have to think about it
so we are
consciously
competent but the fourth
level is what we call
Mastery this is where we become an
unconscious competent an unconscious
competent this is where we do it on
autopilot I'd like to suggest to you
that we're all unconsciously competent
at breathing right we don't think about
it the only time we actually think about
breathing is if we get out of breath
medically or we exert ourselves running
up a flight of stairs yeah so I'd like
to give you a personal
um little personal uh story about
graduating the four levels of
consciousness it relates to me
personally so back when I was about 12 I
was unconsciously incompetent in other
words ignorant about martial arts and
then I saw a film you might have seen
called Enter the Dragon Bruce Lee
all about karate and Kung Fu and I
wanted to be Bruce Lee so I took karate
classes down in Becket Road I went three
four times a week I went at weekends
when I could and within about two years
two and a half years I was almost a
black belt almost that's quite quick
time to do that and anyway one night I
went out into to Doncaster in my sort of
mid to 18 teens and I got involved in a
bit of a kafuffle and I came second
in this kle now I'm pretty certain that
the guy who uh who I came second to who
took me from black belt to almost black
eye well definitely a black eye um he
had never ever been near to a Karate
Dojo but I'm sure he'd had more than his
fair share of little kathal right and so
he was operating from a level of
unconscious competence where I was still
thinking well if you does this do that
and and and don't
work so this is where we're at and by
the way I just wanted to tell you
something I meant to say this earlier
before we go into the next model is
around this thing of money and building
the belief systems Grandma used to come
to our house when we lived at Thorn Road
every Saturday afternoon she'd get off
the bus at the weekly hotel she's come
from rossington anyone from
rossington that worked didn't it
she'd come from rossington she' got off
the bus and she'd watch the horse racing
every afternoon with my mom the itv7 I
think it was yeah and well be tied you
if you spoke when that horse racing was
on yeah but in between all of the the
races during the adverts all they talked
about was money all they talked about
was how everything's gone up spuds have
gone up on Donnie
Market cauliflowers have gone up Meats
gone up so was this constant talk of
lack and limitation you with me so far
and then Saturday evenings we used to
take Grandma back to rossington so of
course for those of you who know the
geography of Doncaster you've got to go
from Thorn Road to rossington you've got
to go up borry Road past all the big
houses where all the rich folks live a
little 10-year-old Steve in the back of
a car sometimes I'd go oh Mom look at
that house is that rolls rce on the
driveway my mom would invariably say
something like it'll be like my dad said
they'll be bloody
Crooks so looking back and joining the
dots up like Steve Jobs says which is
the only way you can you can probably a
bit like a remote viewer see what the
talk was around money successful wealthy
people around my mom's dinner table in
the 1930s and only early 1940s she was
born in 35 same year as Alish
throw away facts there the ne the next
model four states that we all live in
this is something that I learned from a
very close friend of mine Peter Sage who
teaches this in in huge detail we
haven't got time for that now but I'm
going to quickly run through it for you
the first state is what we call to me
anybody read The Celestine
Prophecy amazing book you have great
congratulations amazing book mid90s
spiritual book by a guy called James
Redfield he refers to the Tumi State as
a victim drama so when we live here guys
this is where everything happens to us
we are the victims everything happens to
me the whole world is against me there's
a great big Global conspiracy on to do
me down anybody know anyone like
that a friend of course yeah when we
have an awareness around this we can say
you know what screw this I'm going to
I'm going to make things happen and we
move into a state called by me now a lot
of entrepreneurs a lot of successful go
getting people live in the state called
bu me and bu me means very simply if
it's to be it's up to me I'm going to
make it happen regardless the whole
world is going to stop if I stop these
people work 28 hours a day they're not
very good at delegating typically
they work eight days a week and they
feel guilty when they have holidays
often times they become very successful
but guys when they get to the top of
success Mountain sometimes they don't
like the
view sometimes they've sacrificed
relationships
marriages uh
friendships Health even just to get
there because they've been living in a
very high state of stress anybody know
anyone like that yes or yes
the third state little bit more chill
little bit more relaxed it's called
through me this is where we still do the
work because to get heat out of the fire
we got to put the wood in first but we
do the work we delegate and then we
trust in the process we trust that the
universe will bring us back what we've
put out there you with
me and we live a lot more relaxed less
stressful life I would recommend
something like around about 50 60% buy
me let's get it done and then just put
it out there and Trust in the process
that things will work because they
invariably do work out 99% of the things
we get stressed and worried about never
happen
agreed the fourth state which I will
probably never get to is called
asme this is the state where Zen
Buddhist Masters and people like that
they're totally connected to the mind
body and spirit totally connected to the
universe they can make things
levitate they're a bit like Yoda from
Star Wars these people yeah so I'll
probably never get there but that's
those four states of being so in sort of
leaving you with a few thoughts today
I'd really like to encourage you if you
found this interesting thought-provoking
you may be on this sort of Journey of
personal development personal growth
yourself but if you if you find it
interesting there's so many great
resources on YouTube hell I've even got
a YouTube channel and you can read books
take seminars there a lot of good free
resources but explore it with a positive
and
optimistic Outlook expect the good and
you'll find it because everybody in this
room is positive and optimistic aren't
we
yeah
yes so I'm going to leave you with a
famous story this is a story about two
people one of them is called a pessimist
and the other one is called The Optimist
and there they were sat there one
day having the argument as to
whether you know what's coming don't you
as to whether the glass was half full or
half empty can I ask you is the glass
half full or half
empty sorry I can't hear you half full
of course it is cuz we're all positive
optimistic people anyway they were
having a proper old dingdong this day
about whether this glass is half full
The Optimist is saying look it's half
full can't you see it and the pessimist
saying no it's half empty are you mad
and they were really getting into a
heated argument they were almost coming
to physical blows that black eye we
talked about earlier yeah but on this
day which was a hot daylight we've had
recently there was another guy who
entered the four and this guy was called
called the
opportunist and the opportunist saw what
was going on and he' just come in from
outside and he was really thirsty and so
he came up to the table while these two
were having their dingdong and they
didn't even notice him and he picked up
the glass of water
and he drank the whole lot and off he
went and you know what they carried on
arguing almost coming to blows they' not
even noticed that they were now emptying
sorry they were we're now speaking about
a glass which was neither half full or
half empty it was most definitely empty
I'm Steve C thanks for listening to my
TED Talk
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