3 Tactics for Confident Stakeholder Management in UX
Summary
TLDRThe video transcript discusses overcoming communication and confidence barriers in professional settings. It emphasizes the irrational fear of rejection and the importance of recognizing one's value within a team. The speaker suggests practical tools for boosting confidence, such as stepping aside to observe oneself objectively, asking informed questions to engage with others, and thorough preparation for meetings. These strategies are aimed at fostering a proactive approach and critical thinking, ultimately leading to increased confidence and effective communication.
Takeaways
- đ Overcoming social pressures and fears, such as rejection and looking unintelligent, is crucial for confidence in communication.
- đ Recognizing one's value and the reason for being part of a team can alleviate the fear of rejection and ostracization.
- đĄ The importance of professional contribution and preparation in building trust and a sense of belonging within a community.
- đ§ââïž The concept of 'chattering' as a mental obstacle that can be overcome by learning to switch off and focus on the present.
- đ The recommendation of the book 'Chatter' as a toolkit for managing internal dialogues and achieving mental clarity.
- đ€ The power of stepping aside and observing oneself from a third-person perspective to enhance critical thinking and confidence.
- đ€·ââïž The practice of dissociating from one's emotions during a situation to make better, more objective decisions.
- â Encouraging the act of asking questions as a means to engage, contribute, and appear confident without needing to dominate the conversation.
- đ« A reminder to avoid 'lazy' questions and to come prepared with informed inquiries to foster meaningful dialogue.
- đ The significance of preparation in meetings and discussions to ensure one has something valuable to contribute and to build confidence.
- đ The idea of a 'winner effect' where small victories accumulate to increase overall confidence and the ability to tackle bigger challenges.
Q & A
What is the primary challenge faced by the senior in the script regarding their communication skills?
-The primary challenge is the lack of confidence in their communication and positioning skills, particularly in approaching stakeholders and feeling perceived as adding less value than they actually do.
What are some of the fears that could be holding someone back from being confident in their messaging?
-Fears such as rejection, looking stupid, being ostracized or shunned away from the community or team, and the fear of not being taken seriously can hold someone back.
Why is it important to recognize that the fear of rejection is irrational in a professional setting?
-It's important because you are likely there for a reason and have already earned trust. Being part of a community means that rejection or shunning is unlikely unless there is a significant and consistent lack of contribution or professionalism.
What is the book 'Chatter' about and how does it relate to confidence?
-'Chatter' is about the internal dialogue that can keep people from switching off at night, filled with anxiety and self-limiting thoughts. It relates to confidence by suggesting that being able to quiet this internal chatter can help one become more confident.
How does observing oneself from a third-person perspective help in building confidence?
-Observing oneself from a third-person perspective allows for dissociation from the immediate feelings of anxiety or self-doubt, enabling a more objective view of the situation and one's role within it, which can lead to better decision-making and increased confidence.
What is the significance of asking questions in improving one's confidence in a professional setting?
-Asking questions is a way to engage with others and contribute to discussions without having to make bold statements. It invites others to include you in the conversation and can help you appear more confident and involved.
Why is it important to avoid being lazy when asking questions?
-Avoiding laziness in asking questions ensures that the questions are informed and meaningful, which can lead to more respect from others and a more productive exchange of ideas.
What is the role of preparation in building confidence for meetings or discussions?
-Preparation helps you come to meetings with a clear understanding of the agenda and potential discussion points, making you feel more grounded, composed, and ready to contribute effectively.
How can the practice of dissociation improve critical thinking in UX design or product management?
-Dissociation allows for reflection on past experiences from an objective standpoint, which can help in extracting lessons and making better decisions in the future, thus improving critical thinking.
What is the 'winner effect' mentioned in the script and how does it relate to building confidence?
-The 'winner effect' refers to the accumulation of small successes that lead to increased confidence. As you experience more wins, you become more confident and better equipped to tackle bigger challenges.
What book is recommended in the script for understanding how small things add up to build confidence?
-The book recommended is 'The Winner Effect' by Ian Robertson, which discusses how small successes can accumulate to build confidence and improve performance.
Outlines
đ€ Overcoming Insecurities in Communication
The first paragraph addresses the issue of confidence in communication skills, particularly within a professional setting such as stakeholder interactions. It discusses the fear of rejection and the psychological barriers that prevent individuals from being effective in their messaging. The speaker suggests that recognizing one's value and the community's trust in them can alleviate these fears. The paragraph introduces the concept of 'tools' to help individuals become more proactive and confident, starting with the ability to step aside and observe oneself from a third-person perspective, which can lead to better decision-making and reduce anxiety.
đ The Power of Asking Questions and Preparation
The second paragraph focuses on the importance of asking questions as a means to engage and contribute in discussions, even when feeling unsure or less confident. It emphasizes that questions should be thoughtful and not the result of laziness, as doing the necessary research beforehand can boost confidence. The speaker also highlights the significance of preparation, suggesting that coming to meetings with an agenda or well-researched questions can enhance one's ability to contribute meaningfully. The paragraph concludes by encouraging the practice of these techniques to build a 'winner effect,' which can accumulate over time and lead to increased confidence in various professional scenarios.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄCommunication Skills
đĄPositioning Skills
đĄStakeholders
đĄFear of Rejection
đĄPerceived Value
đĄChatter
đĄObserving Oneself
đĄThird-Person Perspective
đĄAsking Questions
đĄPreparation
đĄSituational Awareness
đĄCritical Thinking
đĄWinner Effect
Highlights
The importance of overcoming social pressure and fear of rejection to improve communication and positioning skills.
Recognizing the irrationality of fear and the likelihood of already having trust within a community.
The concept of 'winner effect' and how small victories accumulate to build confidence.
The ability to step aside and observe oneself as a method to combat negative self-talk and increase confidence.
The recommendation of the book 'Chatter' as a toolkit for managing intrusive thoughts.
The practice of dissociating oneself from a situation to improve decision-making and reduce anxiety.
The psychological benefits of observing oneself from a third-person perspective.
The value of asking questions as a means to engage and contribute in discussions.
The distinction between 'stupid' and 'lazy' questions and the importance of being informed before asking.
The necessity of preparation before meetings or discussions to enhance confidence and contribution.
The role of an agenda in structuring meetings and facilitating contributions from participants.
The idea that confidence builds with practice and the accumulation of small successes.
The impact of situational awareness and critical thinking on engaging with stakeholders.
The encouragement to share useful insights with others to foster a supportive community.
The emphasis on the practical application of the discussed tools to improve UX and stakeholder interactions.
The reminder that confidence in professional settings is built over time through consistent effort and contribution.
Transcripts
just the other day I was advising the
senior who was still not confident in
their communication skills their
positioning skills how they approach
stakeholders in their words they weren't
really effective and confident in their
messaging or they felt like they're
perceived as lesser value add than they
really were and the challenge here is
obviously small but also very large for
one it's just because of a social
pressure just because of something which
we've dealt for Millennia something
which is really fear of rejection fear
of looking stupid fear of being
ostracized or shunned away from the
community from the team thinking that
maybe you're going to appear not good
enough not going to be taken seriously
but ultimately it's going to be that
fear of rejection right that's probably
a preface to the tools because you kind
of need to realize that it's ridiculous
cuz likely you're there for a reason
because you as a ux because we needed
that specific help already have way more
trust than any other person you're
already part of a community you're never
going to be shunned away or rejected or
lose your position in fact it would take
you so long to lose trust it's never
just sharply cut and it's done and
you're gone it takes a lot of effort
especially if you keep things
professional if you contribute value if
you actually come prepared and do ux as
you're supposed to do and the rest is
really the social variables which you
need need to prepare and it's really
important prease because the tools are
going to make you proactive but what you
need to sort out is also the underlying
thinking they're very simple but they're
really hacking your own system and your
own thinking so that you can make better
decisions and just feel more confident
and then let snowball ultimately because
these values develop over time the more
confident you act the more you stress
the variable surround you the more you
understand that you can act even more
confident within means
obviously so tool number one its ability
to step aside for example I read this
book an amazing book you should pick it
up called chatter I read it for
different reasons the book itself is
basically a toolkit and a lot of use
cases and a lot of stories of people not
being able to switch off at night
because we all have those days when you
just have a lot of chatter in your head
and you just can't off or it haunts you
you go by your day and that war conflict
or drama or some sort of inefficiency
just chase you and you cannot shake it
off happens to all of us right that book
is about that you might ask well what
does that have to do with confidence
ability to shake off the chatter or that
second voice which is haunting you about
something and you just don't want to
think about it but just comes back is
exactly the same tool which you can
apply to become confident because the
voice could be angry anxious could be
self-limiting that Voice keeps you where
you at less confident maybe less
creative because you're thinking about
BS and things which you shouldn't be
thinking about and cannot open your mind
and ultimately that tool is ability to
observe yourself from aside this is
super important as well for critical
thinking development in ux for designers
product managers you name it you need to
be able to reflect on the past
experiences and extract yourself which
is always you know hindsight is 2020
that's easy you know if you reflect
review your past experiences every day
you can correct course and do better
next time but the more you do this the
better you get in situe so if you're
less confident in let's say a forum a
meeting a call you need to dissociate
yourself and look at the situation from
aside and how you do that practically is
really think about yourself in a third
person perspective and think less about
how you feel right now how anxious you
are observe the actual team observe
yourself within a team that's the
easiest way for you to become
immediately confident or stop the
chatter anxiety things of that nature
there is a lot of psychological elements
to it I'm not even going to cover that
that's not my forte but what I can give
you is really what works and is really
to be able to dissociate yourself from
the situation so you can make better
decisions I already covered that in
other videos about how to give yourself
advice let's say if you are stuck or
overwhelmed or things of that nature it
works exactly the same way you can pull
yourself back and tell yourself like you
are a third person to do better or to do
some other things minus the all the
variables and the noise and surrounding
clouds of uh signals which might
overwhelm you so that's tool number one
you need to start practicing that
because it's going to make you more
effective designer in situations which
require confidence that's usually
stakeholder workshops interviews Perhaps
Perhaps team meetings perhaps some sort
of ideations things of that nature you
name it but that's ultimately a start of
that and a big one is asking questions
this is like a no-brainer and you
probably heard about this before that if
you're unsure how to contribute and if
you feel like you are bored or maybe
losing attention or you don't feel like
you can contribute to some value well
you can ask questions you should ask
actually stupid questions to correct
myself why stupid because that's how you
invite others to invite you to
contribute you don't have to be Brash or
bold you don't have to make a statement
which might flutter with feathers you
can actually engage with other people
like a human being and ask them to
explain something or ask them why is
that or ask them where are you coming
from or asking for some sort of
information so that the exchange starts
not speaking up or being quiet also
could appear like it's confident but
chances are you want to speak up you
want to contribute that's why you're
chasing confidence in ux but the
principle statement here is also that
your stupid questions shouldn't be lazy
and you might have heard the statement
stupid not lazy lazy is a question you
have shooting from the hip something you
could find the answer to yourself this
is like the key if you can find the
answer somewhere else or read something
up before the session great you're going
to fear more confident immediately if
you can avoid being lazy in any other
way Google something research something
quickly spend five minutes and know just
a bit more so that your stupid questions
are more informed or you could find some
information which can build up upon and
get more information from other people
you're immediately going to engage and
have more respect because it's not just
about asking it's not just about you
know screaming or shouting or kind of
saying hey I have something to
contribute to it has to be meaningful
and as such as long as you're not lazy
you can be stupid you can appear that
way and what I would love for people to
do obviously is to find the answer
themselves or at least get to the answer
close enough so that we can have
situations we can have context we can
have variables and say this or that and
then you can say maybe that now in work
situations in meetings and forums in
ideation sections workshops this comes
invaluable because if you know that your
tool number two is going to be to ask
questions you can then prepare better
questions or come prepare to the meeting
which is tool number
three preparation is going to be key I
don't want to be redundant now with this
tool because I already explained that
you shouldn't be lazy and you should
come with something or try to find your
answers before you ask those questions
but generally speaking even if you don't
come with questions maybe it's a meeting
which doesn't really require your
contribution you still should come
prepared you still should seek an agenda
you should call out and ask people
arranging the meeting what's going to be
on a menu if it's your meeting you
should create an agenda and say this is
the things I want to discuss in it and
maybe share it on slack or maybe share
it as part of invite but that's also
builds confidence because you don't have
to flutter or bounce like a pingpong
ball across a room trying to find
something to contribute or try to find
somehow to engage especially if you feel
less confident or shy and as you prepare
you're going to have more data points
more signals more of the things which is
going to again make you more
situationally Savvy aware you're going
to be more grounded composed you're
going to have something again to
contribute but the practice is going to
be key you're not going to be confident
immediately but the more you do the more
your winner effect which is also a great
book by Ian Robertson how small things
add up and accumulate and the more you
win the more confident you are let's say
the more confident you're going to be
and you're are going to be able to
tackle bigger and bigger and more
uncertain challenges in the end and
you're going to become more and more
confident in the situational awareness
critical thinking how you engage with
stakeholders and things of that nature
and as usual I hope this is useful if so
share it with a friend and on that note
I'll see you next time
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