5 OCD Themes & How To Apply Unconditional Acceptance

Summary

The video script delves into the concept of unconditional acceptance as a vital tool for overcoming OCD. It discusses how mainstream advice often overlooks the importance of not being scared of one's fears. The speaker shares personal insights and examples of common OCD themes, emphasizing the need to change one's mindset to respond rationally to fears, rather than seeking reassurance. The goal is to live with uncertainty and accept the possibility of feared outcomes without being consumed by them, ultimately aiming for a mindset similar to those without OCD.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The video discusses the concept of 'unconditional acceptance' as a tool for overcoming OCD, emphasizing its role as an additional strategy rather than a replacement for existing treatments.
• 🔧 The speaker shares personal experiences to illustrate how unconditional acceptance helped in their recovery from OCD, suggesting it can be a key part of a comprehensive treatment approach.
• 📚 The script introduces five common OCD themes: relationship OCD (ROCD), health OCD, harm OCD, existential OCD, and contamination OCD, offering to explore how unconditional acceptance applies to each.
• 🤔 The importance of distinguishing between rational fears (like a child running in front of a car) and irrational OCD-driven fears is highlighted, to understand the nature of OCD better.
• 🧠 The video emphasizes the irrationality of OCD fears, explaining that what one person fears might not be feared by someone else with a different OCD theme, indicating the subjective nature of these fears.
• 💡 Unconditional acceptance is presented as a way to address the root of fears within OCD, aiming to change the mindset to respond rationally to these fears, similar to how someone without OCD would.
• 👥 The script provides examples of applying unconditional acceptance to different OCD themes, such as accepting the possibility of not loving one's partner or living with a disease like HIV.
• 🌐 The concept of 'rational thinking' and 'unconditional self-life and other acceptance' is introduced as a framework to stop being scared of things, rooted in the philosophy of Albert Ellis.
• 👁 The video suggests using real-life examples and stories of people who have faced and adapted to life-altering situations as a way to gain perspective on OCD fears.
• 🔄 The speaker warns against using unconditional acceptance as a form of reassurance in the moment, but rather as a long-term shift in belief system and mindset.
• 📈 The importance of self-education and understanding one's own OCD is underscored, encouraging viewers to learn about unconditional acceptance and apply it in a way that makes sense for their personal journey.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script discussing?

The main theme of the video script is the concept of unconditional acceptance as a tool for overcoming Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), including various types of OCD such as relationship OCD (ROCD), health OCD, harm OCD, existential OCD, and contamination OCD.

What does the speaker suggest is the fundamental aspect of OCD?

The speaker suggests that the fundamental aspect of OCD is the fear of certain things, and the core of overcoming OCD is learning not to be scared of these things, which is where unconditional acceptance comes into play.

How does the speaker define unconditional acceptance in the context of OCD?

Unconditional acceptance, in the context of OCD, is defined as a framework that helps individuals confront their worst fears at the core of their OCD and learn to stop being scared of them, aiming for a rational response rather than constant fear.

What is the purpose of using examples of different OCD themes in the script?

The purpose of using examples of different OCD themes is to illustrate how unconditional acceptance can be applied to various scenarios to help individuals see how they could apply this concept to their own OCD experiences.

What does the speaker mean by 'rational thinking' in relation to OCD?

Rational thinking in relation to OCD refers to the process of recognizing that the fears associated with OCD are irrational and learning to respond to them in a way that is more aligned with reality and less driven by anxiety.

How does the speaker describe the difference between rational fear and irrational fear in the context of OCD?

The speaker describes rational fear as a natural response to a real and immediate threat, such as a child running in front of a car. In contrast, irrational fear, which is common in OCD, is the constant worry and compulsive behavior that is disproportionate to the actual risk or threat.

What is the role of exposure therapy in treating OCD according to the script?

Exposure therapy is mentioned as a gold standard treatment for OCD, which helps individuals train themselves not to be scared of something by gradually facing and becoming desensitized to their fears.

What is the speaker's view on the relationship between unconditional acceptance and reassurance in OCD recovery?

The speaker views unconditional acceptance as distinct from reassurance. It is not about convincing oneself that everything will be okay, but rather about fundamentally changing one's belief system to respond rationally to fears, similar to how someone without OCD would.

How does the speaker address the concern that unconditional acceptance might be used as a form of reassurance?

The speaker emphasizes that unconditional acceptance should not be used as a momentary reassurance to dismiss thoughts. Instead, it should be a deeper shift in mindset and perspective that changes the way the brain fundamentally responds to fears.

What advice does the speaker give to individuals seeking help for OCD?

The speaker advises individuals to learn about OCD themselves, to question and understand the therapies being suggested to them, and to continue learning and exploring different approaches until they find what works for them.

What is the significance of the speaker's personal experience with OCD in the script?

The speaker's personal experience with OCD is significant as it provides credibility and depth to the discussion, showing that the concepts being discussed have been applied and are effective in real-life situations.

Outlines

00:00

🧩 Unconditional Acceptance in OCD Recovery

The script introduces unconditional acceptance as a key component for overcoming OCD, emphasizing its role alongside mainstream advice. It explains that acceptance is not about dismissing other treatments but adding an extra tool to the recovery toolbox. The speaker shares their journey from 60% improvement to full recovery through this approach. The video aims to provide examples of common OCD themes, such as ROCD, Health OCD, Harm OCD, Existential OCD, and Contamination OCD, and how unconditional acceptance can be applied to each. The concept is framed as learning not to be scared of the irrational fears that OCD presents.

05:02

🌱 Applying Unconditional Acceptance to Relationship OCD

This paragraph delves into the application of unconditional acceptance to relationship OCD, using the fear of not loving one's partner as an example. It suggests that accepting the possibility of being in a less-than-ideal relationship can be liberating, as many people live with such realities without constant fear. The speaker uses 'Man's Search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl to illustrate that even in the worst-case scenarios, people can find meaning and move forward. The goal is to rationalize the fear and accept that life can go on, even if the relationship is not perfect.

10:03

🏥 Health OCD and Accepting Life with Chronic Conditions

The script discusses Health OCD, particularly the fear of catching diseases like HIV, and how to apply unconditional acceptance. It suggests observing real people who live with such conditions, finding comfort in their resilience and ability to find purpose despite challenges. The aim is to train the mind to respond healthily and rationally to the fear, accepting that life is possible even with illness, and not to live in constant fear or avoidance.

15:04

🚫 Addressing Harm OCD and the Concept of Bad Acts, Not Bad People

The paragraph addresses Harm OCD, focusing on the fear of causing harm to others. It emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between bad acts and bad people, using TED talks and expert opinions to highlight that even individuals who commit heinous crimes have value and deserve rehabilitation. The goal is to unlearn the societal narrative of labeling people as monsters and instead see the potential for change and reintegration.

20:07

🌐 Existential OCD and Accepting Uncertainty

This section explores existential OCD, such as the fear of living in a simulation, and how to apply unconditional acceptance. It suggests making peace with uncertainty and the idea that even if one's fears are true, life can still be lived meaningfully. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about feeling trapped, illustrating the intense emotions associated with existential fears, and encourages viewers to accept that they can endure even their worst fears.

25:09

🛡️ Contamination OCD and the Reality of Making Others Sick

The script addresses Contamination OCD, specifically the fear of making others sick through contact. It points out the reality that diseases are transmitted between people and uses the example of COVID-19 to highlight this fact. The speaker suggests that exposure to the fear, such as working in healthcare, can be a powerful way to confront and accept the possibility of causing illness, with the goal of living without the constant fear of contamination.

🔄 The Importance of Unconditional Acceptance in OCD Therapy

The final paragraph underscores the importance of unconditional acceptance in treating OCD, especially when traditional therapies fall short. It warns against using acceptance as a form of reassurance and instead encourages a fundamental shift in belief systems. The speaker shares their experience with a CBT therapist who helped them explore irrational beliefs and worst-case scenarios, leading to a deeper understanding and application of unconditional acceptance in their recovery process.

Keywords

💡Unconditional Acceptance

Unconditional Acceptance is a core concept in the video, referring to the ability to accept oneself and others without any conditions or judgments. It is presented as a vital tool for overcoming Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) by addressing the irrational fears associated with it. The video emphasizes that unconditional acceptance helps individuals to stop being scared of their OCD triggers and to respond rationally to their fears, as seen in the context of various OCD themes such as relationship OCD and health OCD.

💡OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)

OCD is a mental health condition characterized by recurring, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions). The video discusses OCD in various forms, such as relationship OCD, health OCD, and existential OCD, illustrating how these obsessions can significantly impact a person's life. The script uses the personal narrative of the speaker, who identifies as a recovered OCD sufferer, to explain the disorder and its treatment.

💡Exposures

Exposures refer to a therapeutic technique used in treating OCD, where individuals are gradually and repeatedly exposed to the source of their anxiety in a controlled manner. The video mentions exposures as the 'gold standard' treatment for OCD, explaining that it helps in training oneself not to be scared of something. An example given is the speaker's experience with relationship OCD, where they wore heels to confront the fear of being taller than their partner.

💡Rational Thinking

Rational Thinking is the process of making decisions or judgments based on reason and evidence, rather than on emotions or irrational fears. The video script discusses the importance of rational thinking in the context of OCD, suggesting that by applying a framework of rational thinking, individuals can address the irrational fears at the core of their OCD and respond more healthily to their triggers.

💡Fear

Fear is a central theme in the video, particularly in relation to the irrational fears that OCD sufferers experience. The script explores different types of fears associated with various OCD themes and how these fears can be addressed through unconditional acceptance and rational thinking. Fear is depicted as a driving force behind OCD obsessions and compulsions, which the video aims to help viewers overcome.

💡Relationship OCD

Relationship OCD is a specific type of OCD where individuals have intrusive thoughts and fears related to their romantic relationships. The video provides an example of relationship OCD where the fear is about not loving one's partner. The speaker discusses how unconditional acceptance can be applied to this fear, by accepting that it's possible to live with such a situation and not be scared of it.

💡Health OCD

Health OCD is a form of OCD where the individual has excessive worries about their health or the potential to contract diseases. The video script mentions Health OCD as a common theme and suggests that watching documentaries about people living with life-altering conditions can help in accepting the possibility of such a scenario and reducing irrational fears.

💡Existential OCD

Existential OCD involves obsessions and compulsions related to existential questions or fears, such as the fear of living in a simulation. The video script discusses this theme, explaining how existential fears can be rationalized and accepted through understanding that even if such fears were true, life could still go on.

💡Contamination OCD

Contamination OCD is characterized by an excessive fear of germs, dirt, or contamination. The video touches on this theme, discussing the fear of making someone else sick as an example. The script suggests that understanding that such a situation is possible and can be lived through can help in accepting the fear and reducing its impact.

💡Recovery

Recovery in the context of the video refers to the process of overcoming OCD and its associated fears and compulsions. The speaker, identifying as a recovered OCD sufferer, shares their personal journey and strategies, including unconditional acceptance, that contributed to their recovery. The term is used to inspire hope and provide a goal for those currently struggling with OCD.

💡Compulsions

Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that an individual with OCD feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or to reduce anxiety. The video script discusses compulsions in the context of how they can be irrational and harmful, such as the example of constantly checking to avoid contamination. The speaker suggests that unconditional acceptance can help in reducing the need for these compulsive behaviors by addressing the underlying fears.

Highlights

Unconditional acceptance is introduced as an essential tool for overcoming OCD, complementing mainstream advice.

The concept of unconditional acceptance is explained as learning not to be scared of things, which is the core of OCD.

Exposures are discussed as a method to train oneself not to be scared of something, a key part of treating OCD.

The speaker shares personal experiences with OCD recovery, emphasizing the role of rational thinking.

Examples of common OCD themes such as RO-CD, Health OCD, Harm OCD, Existential OCD, and Contamination OCD are provided to illustrate the application of unconditional acceptance.

The irrationality of fears in OCD is highlighted by comparing them to the fears of others with different OCD themes.

A rational response to fears is contrasted with the constant terror experienced by those with OCD, aiming for a healthy reaction similar to non-OCD individuals.

The importance of accepting the possibility of living with one's worst fears without being terrified by them is discussed.

The application of unconditional acceptance to Relationship OCD is explored, using the example of not loving one's partner.

Health OCD is addressed by observing people living with life-altering conditions and finding purpose despite the challenges.

Harm OCD is tackled by recognizing that bad acts do not define a person's entire value, and rehabilitation is possible.

Existential OCD is discussed, with the example of living in a simulation, and the importance of accepting uncertainty.

Contamination OCD is addressed by acknowledging that people can live with the consequences of causing illness to others.

The role of exposure therapy in confronting fears is emphasized, alongside unconditional acceptance.

The importance of not using unconditional acceptance as a form of reassurance but as a change in belief system is highlighted.

The speaker encourages self-education and questioning therapy methods if they do not seem helpful for OCD recovery.

The video concludes with an invitation for viewers to ask questions and engage in the comment section for further discussion on OCD themes.

Transcripts

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

self life and other acceptance too in

order to get better like I have

and this channel talks so much about

unconditional acceptance

and it's basically the one thing that I

had found to be missing

from mainstream advice about how to get

better from OCD so think of it like an

additional

tool in your toolbox for getting better

it's not radically saying everything

that you've read about how to get back

from OCD is wrong and you have to use

this it's not saying that it's an extra

tool that got me from feeling sixty

percent better with my OCD to

considering myself recovered

so today is going to be about sharing

examples of common OCD themes

including

rocd

Health OCD harm OCD

existential OCD and lastly contamination

OCD

if your theme sits outside of these feel

free to comment in the comments box and

I'd be happy to follow up with you on my

next video which is going to be a q a

with any of your OCD questions I thought

I would cover this today because anytime

I talk about unconditional acceptance

whoa the sun's bright

I find that people coming underneath

thing but what about this fear what

about that theme how does it work for

this one and I thought if I give

examples to you for each of these five

themes it's going to help you see how

you could apply it to your own

experience of OCD suffering so first of

all in a nutshell what even is

unconditional acceptance well if you

think about how OCD works

the really simple like

explanation I can give based on my own

experience as a recovered OCD sufferer

is it's about learning not to be scared

of things and if you think about it

exposures which are talked about as the

gold standard triosity treatment

they are literally about helping

yourself and training yourself not to be

scared of something so it makes perfect

sense now when I was a kid I thought of

myself as a scaredy cat I was scared of

everything and anything I was always

anxious imagine what my childhood would

have been like if I wasn't scared

anxiety would have nowhere to latch OCD

would have nowhere to latch so if you

can take yourself out of

getting stuck into really

ex you know ex like what's the word

really difficult to understand

explanations of OCD loads of

psychotherapy type language you know

like what a therapist would use or a

life coach someone who's explaining it

in detail

if you can like forget about all the the

heavy stuff not that it's not valid just

that thinking of it in a simplistic way

how can we get better from ocde just

means how can I stop being scared of

this thing

and really when you think about it

being scared of something in an OCD way

is irrational and this is true of all

things and I can prove it to you now

the thing that you're terrified of

if someone else with a different OCD

theme isn't scared of that it means it's

subjective to you it means that you're

scared of it because it's latched for

you but they're not terrified of it

because it hasn't latched to them and

I'm not saying that what you're scared

of isn't

by definition scary in reality now

there's a good example here

if I is a mother saw my child right this

second run in front of a car it is very

rational for me to be absolutely

terrified for my anxiety brain as a

mother not as an OCD sufferer to kick in

for me to move into fight or flight

run into the middle of the road try and

save my kid that is completely rational

so it is a scary thing when it happens

in reality

what isn't rational is for me as a

mother to live my life constantly

worried that a harm will come to my

child and living in a cycle of

compulsions to prevent it from happening

that's highly irrational so when you

think about it this idea of rational

thinking and unconditional self-life and

other acceptance as kind of brought

about by Albert Ellis

it makes perfect sense how to stop being

irrational and being scared of things

let's use a framework of rational

thinking so unconditional self-life and

other acceptance is about looking at the

worst fear at the core within your OCD

and figuring out how you can stop being

scared of it I'm not saying that you

shouldn't not want to get really ill or

you shouldn't feel fear at the idea of

actually having cancer in real life like

it's justifiable if someone has been for

tests and they're told look we're

concerned about something in your body

and in the next two weeks we're going to

test it and we're going to tell you if

you've got cancer I think it's pretty

justifiable to be feeling quite scared

at that but it's not rational to be

constantly terrified of these things so

unconditional self-life and other

acceptance gets into the root of these

fears and pulls them up it helps us to

no longer be terrified of these things

but to instead have a healthy response

in the same way that someone without OCD

would have that's what I always talk

about we're not aiming for acceptance of

the worst case scenario we're not aiming

to go oh I'd love it if I got terminally

ill or if my partner laughed me or if I

harmed somebody that's not the aim the

aim is to respond rationally in your

mind

okay

then example one is to do with

relationship OCD what if I don't love my

partner how can we apply unconditional

life acceptance to this what if I don't

love my partner well I've been through

this one it's a pretty easy one to

explain many people live their life with

partners that aren't ideal for them in

reality you will hear couples moan about

their other half and say oh I ate him

I'm gonna I'm gonna Whack Him around the

head whatever it is like they will

openly say I can't stand them about

their partner oh I'm locked in now

that's how a lot of people will talk

about marriage or being in a

relationship they're not scared of it

they're living that reality and they

don't want the hassle of breaking up

with somebody because fundamentally at

some level they know that they you know

chose that partner for a reason and that

there's no perfect relationship out

there so people are living your feared

scenario and they're doing okay

what I found really useful for this was

looking at scenarios I would consider to

be unlivable like the book Man's Search

for meaning by Viktor Frankel where I

think his whole family were like

executed in front of him and then he was

like living in the concentration camp

for three years and just that the worst

imaginable life situation you can

picture

and it's like it's not that I want to be

in a relationship where I don't love the

other person but it's also perspective

of the volume of freedom I have if that

is my worst thing going on in my life so

the worst thing that going on in your

life is that you're with someone you

don't really love

and you're gonna miss out on potentially

the love of your life let's say let's

let's go down the route the opposite of

reassurance in that there is one person

for everybody there's only one person

you're gonna meet in your whole life

who's ideal for you and make peace that

you're never going to be with them it's

not great but it's not the worst thing

in the world versus some other

situations and I think that can really

be useful because it's about making

peace with how the world really is

and you can end up going into a little

bit of reassurance with this but also

just making peace with the fact that no

relationship is going to be perfect

anyway you give up the the person who

you're with now because of some physical

flaw that you've perceived

awesome incompatibility that you've

perceived and you go for someone else

that you think is going to be a better

fit for you and then three years later

you figure out that actually they've got

all these things that you had in your

past relationship and you really miss

them then but ultimately unconditional

life acceptance is really about letting

go of this idea that there is an answer

and also making peace with the fact that

if you chose the wrong decision you

could live with that I'm completely a

piece of rocd now it doesn't affect me

anymore at all and I'm that's because I

don't just tell myself that I wouldn't

mind if I didn't love my partner it's

because I truly feel it I know that

there's so many other things in my life

like my business my like fitness goals

my kids my family I'm also at peace with

the idea of divorce if one day things

didn't work out when we separated I have

applied unconditional life acceptance

and self-acceptance to the possible

shame that would come from that the

families are both quite religious and

the idea of divorce is not really

something that people want in the family

and actually in the past the families

have had divorce and it was frowned upon

and I can live with that because I know

that it would be fundamentally right for

me and so that's how for RSV it can work

Health OCD

okay what if I catch HIV

okay this is a common one and people

will go through life finding ways to

avoid catching diseases or HIV or

anything like that this simple one is by

looking at the fact that people do live

with these conditions I found it really

useful and I've observed people who got

comfortable with watching as exposures

watching documentaries about people who

live with extremely life-altering

conditions and the fact that they've

still found a way to find purpose and

meaning in their life even though life

is extremely challenging versus what it

was so again these people are not saying

I wish that I had this I'm so glad this

happened but sometimes what happens to

us

is we think that something's going to be

like all all ending in life and we won't

be able to handle it and then you see

people who are handling it and you

realize that you could handle it too

or even maybe you couldn't maybe you

would just be in an absolute State and

that would be the cards that life had

doubt you so we're not aiming for

figuring out a way to be at peace with

it happening

we want to respond in the same way that

someone without Health OCD would which

is me I've never had health OCD if you

said to me

um how would you feel about getting HIV

I'm like

that wouldn't be fun at all I wouldn't

want that but I don't overthink it and

you've never thought about it

ever in my life I've never worried about

it and so I haven't put extra safeguards

in my life around living in a way that

like avoids bathroom I don't know what

exactly people would do to avoid but

like I just haven't worried about it too

much at all and so that's kind of what

you're aiming for is is recognize is is

working through to train your mind to

respond the same way I do which is

if I caught a disease I wouldn't like it

but I'm not scared of it I'm not doing

things to try and stop happening all the

time because fundamentally I know that

life would be possible after it and you

know you have and you can look at

certain illnesses that you're scared of

as well and see how things have advanced

anyway so life with HIV is very

different than it used to be anyway

but again that could like borderline on

reassurance maybe it would be awful but

definitely videos where you've seen

people who've been paralyzed or gone

through horrendous things and then

they've come out the other side and

they're powerful for it

harm OCD

let's give an example of what if I kill

somebody

like how this is the one that people go

you could never apply unconditional

acceptance to this one and I get it any

theme like Harmony pocd things that you

couldn't really voice out loud in the

general public that you're scared of

them for example you could voice out

loud in public I'm really scared I don't

love my partner and people would go meh

yeah me too I don't not really Foster my

partner anyway you could say I'm really

scared I'm going to catch cans I'm going

to get cancer known without an eyelid

you could say and the next example is

actually existential OCD and I was

literally at Easter Sunday lunch

yesterday and the whole family were

talking about what if we're in a

simulation and it was just really

friendly like the conversation was like

wow if somebody sufferers were here

they'd be like throwing up

and so what if I kill someone it's like

how on Earth do you apply it to that now

really important here it's not about

becoming at peace with oh yeah if I harm

someone it's fine it's not about that

it's about recognizing that there are

only bad acts not bad people this isn't

like an off-the-wall idea there are

Talks on YouTube like TED talks from

very senior officials within the police

force and psychologists who talk about

the fact that when someone commits the

most awful crimes in the world there's

still a person who deserves to be

rehabilitated supported integrated back

into society if possible one day and

they're actually condemning them for

life and not being curious and

understanding what happened behind the

scenes to lead to that and absolutely

not saying they shouldn't be in prison

but actually seeing a person has value

and their acts are good or bad is really

at the fundamental root of Harmony

pocity all these things unlatching and I

think for me this one is so common

it's such a common one where the

typical therapy for OCD doesn't quite

release it whether it's like real event

or mostly POC all the taboo type sexual

orientation ones

um

I can't remember the one where like a

transo city I think it's called

Toc

um and

you do exposures exposure exposure

exposure but it's because of the

societal shame that I feel so deep

rooted there's such a shame attached to

the fear itself we're not just ashamed

of the behaviors and the compulsions

like somebody who perhaps has a fear of

contamination of dirt and they're

repeatedly cleaning and checking things

and that's embarrassing and shameful

we're not only ashamed of our

compulsions but we're ashamed of the

content

and so by seeing that Society is

essentially irrational everyone that you

know they call people monsters it's like

there are people in the world who are

the result of genetics as well as lived

experience have ended up a certain way

and have committed really bad acts that

we massively disagree with that at the

relevant times must be segregated from

society in prison but they deserve

fundamentally to be supported through it

and to their value still exists and we

want to be helping them to change their

ways to reintegrate into society if

possible

and so what we want to do with things

that car mostly is look at well the fear

is societal rejection usually and the

idea of being in prison so really

looking at the fact that in prison you

could live in prison if Victor Frankl

can live in a concentration camp for

three years you actually can live in

prison you don't want to you don't want

to

I definitely don't want to but I could

if I had to societal shame stuff

unconditional self-acceptance this idea

of the myth of self-esteem

you know it's tough work it's hard it

takes time to sink in I strongly

recommend the myth of self-esteem by

Albert Alice particularly chapter four

where he really talks about the value of

a human being from memory and this idea

that there are Acts and again it's not

it's actually not

going down the route of reassurance it's

just a literal fact that people do

commit crimes so what you're scared of

people actually do do that and they can

go on in life it doesn't alter their

fundamental value of being alive it's

just that what they have done their act

is not good and so we're not saying that

we let them off the hook and

everything's fine and it's great it's

just recognizing that based on the fact

that the media has turned these people

into monsters the society is like this

is awful this is awful this is awful

which it obviously is an awful act

you're scared of being written off by

Society because that's terrifying and it

latches

so you can love yourself no matter what

happens what you've done in the past and

what you do you can strongly oppose acts

that you have committed but you can

still love who you are fundamentally

existential locally what if I live in a

simulation well like I said yesterday we

had a really interesting conversation we

were talking about artificial

intelligence and this idea that like

what if one day we are you know that

happens and then someone else said what

if we already are and we don't even

realize it

and so my friend was like oh my gosh I'm

gonna have a panic attack but she was

laughing at the same time she doesn't

have OCD but to appears from that OCD is

still a little bit freaky isn't it like

that when you think about you go oh

that's horrible I don't want that to be

true and then she moves on she doesn't

think about it again it's been 24 hours

she probably hasn't even it hasn't

crossed her mind but if she sees a

newspaper in a week and they talk about

it she'll get an icky feeling and then

she'll move on that is a rational

person's

response to existential fears and so

again what can we do to apply

unconditional life acceptance to have

that same response as my husband's

cousin

well we can make peace there and I

actually said to her I said well if you

are in a simulation right now we haven't

really noticed anyway we're talking

about it now what would the difference

be we're still just living so really

your issue is uncertainty is that you

don't know and you want to know why do

you need to know so that's what I would

say for as existential is like

and it's latched really really hard and

things aren't budging it's an acceptance

of or maybe I am I'm gonna live as if I

am in a simulation and I get it I get

that boxed in feeling I used to feel

trapped I remember having a panic attack

with my boyfriend when I was 18 and I

got out of his car and I went into a

field and he's like what's wrong I was

like I'm trapped he was like what are

you talking about you're in a field a

huge field of Woodlands everywhere I was

like I know but I'm trapped I've got to

get out I've got to get out

and that to me is what existential OCD

feels like you're trapped and again that

stimulation like get me out well

it's that making peace off if even if it

is I can I can go on there will be

moments in time where I forget about

this and where I can go on and it's not

ideal and it's not nice so yeah watching

exposure videos on those type of

theories can be really handy and then

the last one is contaminate

contamination OCD so let's look at what

you could do if you had a fear of what

if I make someone else sick so like if I

touch this and then I touch them then

they get sick and then I kill them or I

made them ill well people actually have

done this you know it it during covid

people were literally killing each other

weren't they because if they were

carrying and then they touched someone

else that was happening so you could be

as blunt as to say that though it's not

very kind thing to say about people

it's like literally that happens when

someone contracts something they are

literally getting it from someone else

so if you're a nurse or a doctor for

example with this type of fear that's

going to be particularly terrifying but

it's also going to be really good

exposure same way as becoming a mum for

me was really good exposure is that like

you're confronted with your fear

constantly so what if I make someone

sick okay

you can live with that you definitely

don't want it

you can live with it and it reminds me

of an example where

and it's one of my greatest real life

fears not OCD fears is that something

happened where my child could have ended

up really hurt because I looked away for

a second and it was a nearly could have

happened

there is only luck that meant that it

didn't happen to my child and so if that

had happened my life would be very

altered you know if if something bad had

happened I'm talking about near misses

that people have every day

if it had happened my life would look

like life with a disabled child

which doesn't make them any less lovable

in any way but I would have to carry the

fact that as a result of me not caring

with my child in the way I needed to in

that very second that happened and so

that would be something extremely

difficult to live with but OCD will want

to if OCD latched there it wouldn't it

would make me want to live my whole life

constantly having my child right next to

me not letting them run off

all the time this isn't my reality by

the way it would make me not want to let

other people have them all these things

but if I can make peace with the fact

that even if that had happened and I had

to carry that with me that guilt I could

still find a way to carry on and there's

proof in this in that this does happen

every day to people the things that we

think we couldn't endure we actually can

and so I hope that's been like a useful

like explanation of how unconditional

acceptance can be applied alongside the

other things that you're doing so if

you're doing exposure therapy living

with uncertainty because all of these

things do also require those things so

rocd you do need to be confronting the

fears for example my biggest OCD fear

was you don't belong with your partner

because you're tall and he's not tall

and tall people belong together and

short people belong together and so

you're not a fit and so that was like a

thing for me and so I decided to make

peace of the idea of I can be with

someone that I'm not compatible with and

so I started to wear heels on evenings

out so that I was taller and felt really

stupid and felt like I was being judged

and that people would think we were less

of a couple and it's and it just budged

then and I wore heels yesterday to a

lunch and I didn't even think about it

it's only now that I'm like oh wow I

didn't think about it whereas it used to

consume my every thought about what we

would supposed to be wearing and things

like that so exposures are important

uncertainty is important because again

existential

what if I live in a simulation of course

uncertainty is important because you can

never know you can never know these

things so this is still important but if

you're finding that the typical OCD

therapies that you are going through are

not working to the extent that you hoped

they would it's quite likely that what's

missing is unconditional acceptance that

deeper level of acceptance

when you think about it

when you're a kid people say to you

there's nothing to be scared of don't be

scared of the dark there's nothing to be

scared of and it is actually true there

is nothing to be scared of because

anything that you're scared of people

have lived in reality and even if it's

the most difficult life lived it's still

a life lived and so what you want to be

careful of with this is that you are not

using it as reassurance so if you're

currently practicing unconditional

acceptance as a result of these videos

or coaching or anything like that

what you need to look out for is that

you're not using it in the moment to

send away thoughts so for example

I can't be near that knife in case I

hurt somebody it's okay even if you hurt

somebody you're still valuable as a

human that's not what we're talking

about you have to change your

fundamental belief system so that your

brain physically is rational so it's

about changing our mindsets and

perspectives so that we have a framework

that's like people without OCD is as

simple as that

you are not using it as a reassurance in

fact I would argue it's the opposite of

reassurance rather than saying you would

never hurt someone it's like well what

if you did what then and I actually had

a CBT therapist who was like nearly

there with it all she actually talked

about Albert Alice and at the time I

hadn't realized she gave me a um a

worksheet to say there's 10 irrational

beliefs by Albert Alice rate yourself

one to ten of how you fit these for

example I must perform I must be perfect

all these things

and she talked to me about worst fears

and she said okay so what's the worst

that can happen as a result of this fear

and I said oh well I'm not going to harm

someone else she said and then what what

happens then you've done it what happens

then and I think that's so amazing that

a CBT therapist was talking about this

stuff because

it just makes so much sense and it keeps

it so much lighter it's just simple so I

wouldn't talk about this stuff if I

hadn't spent a very long time

understanding it applying it to myself

getting better gotten better and

actually deeply understood it I don't

think there's a question someone could

ask me that I wouldn't be able to go

yeah I thought about that and I would

say to you

unfortunately

in rocd in this world rotd in OCD in

this world it's commonly massively

misunderstood and underestimated I've

had therapists tell me just stop

thinking about it don't think about it

the more you think about it the more

it's going to tighten on and I'd be like

are you actually joking I wake up and I

have three seconds and then it hits me

and that's it until I wake up in my

nightmares the next night with it again

you are mental

it's commonly misunderstood the biggest

piece of advice I can give to you and

that applies to even if you reach out to

the life coaches who work for OCD

recovery this channel you have to learn

the ropes yourself

if the person you're working with if it

doesn't add up what they're suggesting

if it's like I don't get it I don't get

how this is going to help me don't do it

like learn about it ask the questions

I've had therapy in the past it's been

absolutely life-changing for me and I've

had therapy in the past there has been

detrimental and made my otd worse for

example

someone who doesn't understand OCD very

well may well create new compulsions

with you by telling you to I don't know

list out your values and why that means

you wouldn't commit an act well that's

literally a compulsion and so

there's some incredible experts around

the world in OCD absolutely amazing

there's some amazing resources out there

but if you're not getting better I

encourage you to look into unconditional

acceptance and learn for yourself never

stop learning it's the only reason I'm

better is that this account obviously

recovery was the only place that I found

it all to make sense and everything

connected and there was no unanswered

questions and there was no

like areas that weren't covered or areas

that were like oh I don't really know

about that though and so you've got to

find yours whatever works for you

um and any questions you have comment

below hope this was useful any themes I

missed comment below

give us a like and speak to you soon bye