the mindset that gets socially awkward men laid

Summary

The speaker discusses the importance of leading and escalating in social interactions, especially for men, emphasizing the need for assertiveness without being overly pushy. He recounts an experience at The Bungalow in Santa Monica where an awkward man, despite repeated rejections, eventually succeeded in attracting a stunning woman, illustrating the power of persistence and confidence. The narrative also touches on the effectiveness of engaging in a woman's sexual fantasies, like a dominant-submissive dynamic, to create memorable experiences, highlighting the value of understanding and catering to individual desires.

Takeaways

• 🕺 Leading confidently and escalating quickly is crucial in social interactions, ideally within 2 to 5 minutes or even faster if the connection is strong.
• 🚫 Avoid being overly pushy, but assertiveness can be beneficial in moving interactions forward.
• 🤔 Many men fail to escalate or sexualize interactions enough, which can be a missed opportunity for deeper connection.
• 🤓 Even those who are socially awkward can succeed in social interactions if they are persistent and unafraid of rejection.
• 🎉 Success in social interactions is not solely based on looks or smoothness; willpower and determination can be just as effective.
• 👀 Observing others, even those with perceived social disadvantages, can provide valuable lessons on overcoming obstacles.
• 🔁 Persistence is key; repeating an approach or invitation can eventually lead to success despite initial rejections.
• 💡 Building attraction and rapport is important, but sometimes directness and assertiveness can override the need for a lengthy build-up.
• 👥 Social dynamics can be unpredictable, and sometimes unusual or unexpected strategies can yield positive results.
• 👠 Recognizing and playing into a person's kinks or sexual fantasies can create a memorable and satisfying experience for both parties.
• 🌟 Even individuals who may not be conventionally attractive can achieve social success through sheer determination and a willingness to take risks.

Q & A

What is the suggested timeframe for leading a woman to the dance floor or another area?

The suggested timeframe is within 2 to 5 minutes, sometimes even faster, depending on the situation.

What is a common issue among men when it comes to leading in social situations?

A common issue is that men often do not lead enough, do not escalate enough, and do not sexualize enough in social situations.

What advice is given about being pushy in social interactions?

The advice is to not be too pushy, but to be assertive and take the initiative, like suggesting going to an afterparty.

How does the speaker describe the man who was awkward but successful in social interactions?

The man was described as possibly having autism due to his awkwardness and lack of social cues, but he was persistent and did not let rejections affect his ego.

What was the surprising outcome for the awkward man at The Bungalow in Santa Monica?

Surprisingly, the awkward man ended up with a very attractive woman who resembled a 90s model, indicating that persistence can sometimes overcome awkwardness.

What is the speaker's opinion on the importance of being smooth versus being assertive?

The speaker believes that being assertive and going for it is more important than being smooth, especially if one has to choose between the two.

Can you provide an example of a successful interaction from the speaker's experience?

The speaker shared an experience where a woman got on her knees and begged to have sex with him as part of a BDSM role play, showing that catering to a woman's sexual fantasy can be very effective.

What was the speaker's friend's reaction to the role play scenario?

The friend was in awe of the scenario, impressed by both the attractiveness of the woman and the full-on role play that took place.

What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of role play in certain sexual encounters?

The speaker believes that role play can be very effective if it aligns with a woman's sexual fantasy, such as the dominant-submissive archetype.

What was the outcome for the man who was described as having no game but still managed to pull a hot girl?

Despite his lack of game, the man was able to pull a hot girl through sheer willpower and persistence, demonstrating that determination can be a powerful factor in social interactions.

Outlines

00:00

💃 Escalation and Leading in Social Interactions

The speaker emphasizes the importance of leading within the first 2 to 5 minutes of an interaction, sometimes even faster, to escalate the situation effectively. They note that it's more common for men to not lead or escalate enough rather than being too pushy. The speaker recounts an anecdote about a socially awkward man who, despite his lack of social finesse, was successful in attracting a very attractive woman due to his persistence and lack of hesitation. This example serves to illustrate that determination and initiative can often outweigh social awkwardness in social and romantic encounters.

Keywords

💡Leading

Leading in this context refers to taking charge of a social situation, particularly in the realm of dating and attraction. It is about guiding the interaction and escalating the relationship to a more intimate level. In the video, the speaker suggests that men should lead within a few minutes of meeting someone, which is a key part of the theme about taking initiative in social interactions.

💡Escalate

Escalate, in the context of the video, means to increase the level of intimacy or interest in a social interaction. The speaker criticizes men who do not escalate enough, implying that they should be more proactive in deepening the connection with the person they are interested in, which is a central theme of the video's message about assertiveness in dating.

💡Sexualize

Sexualize refers to the act of introducing a sexual element or context into an interaction. The video discusses the importance of appropriately sexualizing interactions to create a sense of attraction, which is a key concept in the speaker's advice on dating strategies.

💡Pushy

Being pushy in this context means being assertive or insistent to the point of being intrusive or overly aggressive. The speaker mentions that some men are too pushy, but also notes that a certain level of pushiness can be effective, as long as it is not excessive, highlighting a nuanced view on assertiveness in social dynamics.

💡Afterparty

An afterparty is a social event that takes place after the conclusion of another event, often more intimate or exclusive. In the script, the speaker recounts a story of a man who repeatedly invites women to an afterparty as a way to escalate the interaction quickly, which serves as an example of a pushy but effective dating strategy.

💡Autism

Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, and speech and nonverbal communication. The speaker uses autism as a descriptive term to illustrate a man's awkwardness in social cues, although it's important to note that such a description should be used with sensitivity and accuracy.

💡Attraction

Attraction in the video refers to the process of drawing someone in or creating a sense of desire or interest. The speaker emphasizes the importance of building attraction before escalating an interaction, which is a fundamental concept in the speaker's advice on dating and social skills.

💡Rapport

Rapport is the establishment of a harmonious or sympathetic relationship, often through mutual understanding or communication. The video mentions the lack of rapport as a flaw in the approach of the man described, indicating that creating a connection is crucial before moving to a more intimate stage.

💡Ego

Ego, in this context, refers to a person's self-esteem or sense of self-importance. The speaker talks about men who are not affected by their ego when they face awkward situations, suggesting that a resilient ego can be beneficial in social interactions.

💡BDSM

BDSM refers to a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, role-playing, bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. The speaker recounts an experience where role-playing a BDSM scenario was part of the interaction, illustrating the theme of exploring and fulfilling a partner's sexual fantasies.

💡Willpower

Willpower is the determination or resolve to do something. The video uses the term to describe a man's success in attracting a woman not through traditional 'game' but through sheer determination and persistence, which is a key point in the narrative about overcoming social awkwardness.

Highlights

Leading should ideally occur within 2-5 minutes, sometimes even faster, to escalate the interaction.

It's more common for men to not lead or escalate enough rather than being too pushy.

Being a bit pushy can be effective, as long as it's not overdone.

An awkward man with poor social cues surprisingly succeeded in attracting a very attractive woman.

The man's persistence and lack of hesitation in approaching women contributed to his success.

Having no hesitation and pushing forward is more important than being smooth.

An example of a man with no game but sheer willpower pulling a hot girl.

The importance of not letting awkwardness or ego affect one's approach.

A personal experience where the speaker engaged in a BDSM role play with a woman.

The role play escalated to the woman begging the speaker to come home with her.

The speaker's friend was in awe of the successful role play interaction.

Some women enjoy the dominant-submissive dynamic, inspired by the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon.

Playing into a woman's kink can lead to the best sexual experience of her life.

The speaker emphasizes that fulfilling a woman's sexual fantasy is more for her benefit than his own.

Observation of a man who, despite being unattractive, successfully pulled a very attractive woman through determination.

The value of persistence and going for it, even when one may not have the traditional 'game'.

Transcripts

so generally I would say you should be

leading

within really like 2 to 5 minutes maybe

10 somewhere in that range sometimes

even faster if it's really on just take

her straight to the dance floor take her

straight to a different area but it's

much more common that guys don't lead

enough they don't escalate enough they

don't sexualize enough than it is the

other way around and the guys that are a

little bit pushy and never be too pushy

but that are a little bit on the pushy

side like hey let's go hey I have an

Afterparty even if they're awkward like

I knew guy who I thought must have

autism because he was just so awkward

the way he talked he just didn't seem to

register you know uh social cues like

people who autism do and this guy was

also not good-look and this was an LA it

was actually uh The Bungalow I'm going

to be going to an LA for a boot camp

this weekend but it was in The Bungalow

in Santa Monica and I saw this guy get

rejected harshly again and again and

again and again but every time he was

approaching girls and I didn't even want

to be around him or wing with him

because I I did a couple times and he

was just like hey I have an Afterparty

nearby uh it's just 5 minutes away he

was doing that like really really fast

and not building any attraction or like

Rapport or anything and I thought

there's no way this guy's ever gonna

pull and then later in the night uh and

I was actually pulling myself but later

in the night I was with this girl and I

saw him with a girl who was shockingly

hot it was like she was like a nine out

of 10 in my look scale she looked like a

model and not like a new model where

it's you know chubby women uh like a

model from the 90s when they were

actually hot and he pulled her and he

said he slept with her I can't confirm

that for sure but it looked like it was

on and I've seen a lot of examples of

guys like that uh where they're a little

bit awkward but they just have no

hesitation going for it right they just

go for it and they'll just go go go go

go and they don't care about the

awkwardness they don't care about

feeling like oh that was cringe uh their

ego isn't affected and those guys do

very well now they would do a lot better

if they were also smooth but if you had

to choose between being smooth and being

someone that really goes for it being

someone who really goes for it would be

the better of the two and yeah that was

a was a very interesting experience it

was during an

RSD hot seat I think it was and it was a

night where the girl I pulled I actually

got her to get on her knees and beg to

have sex with me uh not in it like she

wanted to it was a role play a BDSM role

play basically where I went from

initially uh just I was about to make

out with her and then let me think exact

what I said I was about to make out with

her and he was like H uh and I pulled

away and then I said say please make out

with me and then she's like okay please

make out with me and then I added Master

please make out with me master and then

uh eventually when I actually took her

to her place um took it all the way to

her getting on her knees and begging me

to come home with her and I was with my

friend and he was in awe of this whole

thing because first of all she was

really hot and he kept talking about

damn she was hot like I that was that

was cool and uh also literally just

getting this full-on roleplay now that's

not going to work on every woman but

there's some who have the archetype

where they really like that dominant

submission thing the whole 50 Shades of

Gray thing it's a lot but not all um and

if you sense a woman has that Kink

playing into it that's like her sexual

fantasy like she has that'll have the

best sex of her life right and it's

actually doing her a favor it's more I

mean you get the power trip or whatever

but it's really more for her than it is

for you so that was a great night where

I had a good time but also so perhaps

even more importantly I just saw this

guy who had no game was he was maybe a

five out of 10 looks wise right he

wasn't ugly but he wasn't good looking

and uh you know he pulled a really hot

girl through sheer uh sheer willpower

right just sheer just going for it so

hard