How Girls REALLY Want You To Talk To Them

Summary

The video script narrates the story of Jeffrey, who had a long-standing crush on Jessica but lacked the courage to express his feelings. It delves into the importance of boldness in approaching women, contrasting shyness with confidence. The speaker shares personal anecdotes from his teenage years in Army Cadets, where his inability to act led to missed opportunities. The narrative emphasizes the need to overcome fear of rejection and to engage in playful, authentic conversations rather than dull interviews, advocating for a balance of ambition and light-hearted teasing to attract and connect with women.

Takeaways

• 😔 The importance of courage in expressing feelings to someone you have a crush on, as hesitation can lead to missed opportunities.
• 😳 The narrator's personal experience of having a crush in Army Cadets and the regret of not expressing his feelings, which resulted in the girl having a crush on someone else.
• 🤔 The advice that shyness and inaction make one less attractive, and that taking action despite fear can lead to positive outcomes.
• 💪 The concept that courage is acting despite feeling fear, and that this courage can be attractive to others.
• 🚫 The narrator's belief that being scared of rejection is a common but unproductive mindset, and that regret from inaction is worse than the pain of rejection.
• 📉 The idea that the pain of rejection lessens with each experience, and that those with more experience are less affected by it.
• 🔢 The suggestion that quantity and practice in interactions with the opposite sex are key to becoming good at it, similar to how one learns any other skill.
• 💭 The insight that girls prefer honesty and directness in communication, rather than games or pretense of disinterest.
• 😜 The effectiveness of teasing and playful banter over formal questioning in creating a more engaging and attractive interaction.
• 👥 The narrator's anecdote about a failed attempt to connect with a girl due to his friend's lack of 'game', illustrating the importance of keeping conversations interesting.
• 🌟 The impact of speaking with ambition and passion about one's goals and dreams, which can be a powerful way to connect with and attract someone.

Q & A

What is the main issue Jeffrey faces regarding his feelings for Jessica?

Jeffrey has a crush on Jessica but lacks the courage to speak to her, resulting in him just staring at her in class without taking any action.

How does the speaker describe Adonis' understanding of women?

Adonis is portrayed as understanding women well, similar to how Jeffrey understands the female characters in League of Legends, but with a more confident and engaging approach.

What was the speaker's experience in Army Cadets as a teenager?

The speaker had a crush on a girl in Army Cadets but was too shy to speak to her, instead of just staring and engaging in self-deprecating behavior like tilting back in his chair and biting his pen lid.

What event led to the speaker being asked to the dance by the girl he had a crush on?

The girl had no one else to go with, and the speaker was the last option, but he still agreed to go with her to the dance.

What did the speaker learn about the importance of taking action when it comes to expressing feelings to someone?

The speaker learned that fortune favors the bold and that being shy or waiting for the right time can lead to missed opportunities, as it did when the girl he liked expressed interest in someone else.

What advice does the speaker give about dealing with fear and rejection when approaching someone you like?

The speaker advises that courage is acting despite feeling fear, and that rejection is less painful than regret for not taking action. He also mentions that the pain of rejection lessens with each experience.

What does the speaker suggest is a more attractive approach to talking to girls than asking conventional questions?

The speaker suggests teasing and playful banter as a more attractive approach than asking conventional questions, which can feel like an interview and bore the girl.

How does the speaker describe the difference between his conversation style and that of the 'cool Chad'?

The speaker's style involves teasing and ambition, making the conversation lively and interesting, whereas the 'cool Chad' might act disinterested, which can be attractive but inauthentic if the person is actually very interested.

What negative outcome did the speaker's friend Levi experience when using a conventional approach with a girl?

Levi's girl got bored with the interview-like questions and left him to interrupt the speaker's moment with his own girl, leading to both girls leaving without further interaction.

What is the speaker's advice on what to talk about with a girl to increase attraction?

The speaker advises talking about personal ambition, passion, and playful teasing rather than mundane topics like hobbies, which can be boring.

What impact did the speaker's conversation about his YouTube plans have on a girl he was interested in?

The conversation about his ambitious plans for YouTube and leadership of a movement greatly increased the girl's attraction to him, showing the power of speaking with passion and ambition.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Unspoken Crushes and Missed Opportunities

The first paragraph narrates the story of Jeffrey, who has a long-standing crush on Jessica but lacks the courage to express his feelings. He passively observes her from afar, leading to regret when she eventually gets into a relationship with someone else. The speaker then contrasts Jeffrey's inaction with Adonis's understanding of women, likening it to Pakistani men's knowledge of tax evasion. The narrative shifts to the speaker's personal experience in Army Cadets, where he had a crush on a girl but failed to act on his feelings, instead of engaging in awkward behaviors like tilting back in his chair and biting his pen lid. This culminates in a dance event where the girl he likes reveals a crush on someone else, leaving the speaker reflecting on the importance of boldness and overcoming fear to express one's feelings.

05:01

😃 The Art of Teasing and Genuine Conversation

In the second paragraph, the speaker discusses the ineffectiveness of traditional advice on engaging with women, such as asking questions and showing interest, which often results in one-sided, interview-like conversations. Instead, he advocates for a more playful and teasing approach, using light-hearted banter and subtle mockery to create a fun and engaging interaction. He shares a personal anecdote about making fun of his date for sweating in a cafe, which led to a successful connection and her decision to leave her travels early to be with him. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not being afraid of rejection and the value of expressing ambition and confidence, as well as having playful and emotionally charged conversations that can significantly increase a woman's attraction.

10:02

😂 The Power of Teasing and Ambition in Relationships

The final paragraph focuses on the dynamics of the speaker's relationship with his girlfriend, characterized by teasing and light-hearted interaction, which he contrasts with the dullness of asking conventional questions about hobbies or music preferences. He recounts a failed attempt by a friend to entertain a girl, which ended with the girl leaving out of boredom due to the friend's lack of engaging conversation. The speaker stresses the importance of not taking conversations too seriously and instead engaging in playful banter, discussing ambitions, and creating an emotional connection. He encourages viewers to subscribe for more content and to always put in the effort, especially when they don't feel like it, ending with a playful 'mwah' sound effect.

Keywords

💡Crush

A 'crush' is an intense but temporary infatuation or admiration for someone, often romantic in nature. In the video's narrative, Jeffrey has a crush on Jessica, which is central to the theme of unexpressed feelings and the consequences of not acting on them.

💡Confidence

Confidence refers to a belief in one's own abilities, qualities, and judgment. The video emphasizes the importance of having confidence when approaching someone you're interested in, as it can make one more attractive and capable of taking action.

💡Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is the apprehension or anxiety that arises from the possibility of being turned down or dismissed by others. The script discusses this fear as a common barrier to expressing feelings, and how overcoming it is crucial for personal growth and relationship development.

💡Teasing

Teasing is a playful form of banter or light mockery, often used to create a fun and flirtatious atmosphere. The video suggests that teasing is a more engaging way to interact with someone you're interested in, as opposed to a formal interview-like questioning.

💡Ambition

Ambition is a strong desire to achieve something, often requiring determination and hard work. The script uses ambition as a trait that can be attractive when discussing personal goals and aspirations with someone, showcasing a drive and vision for the future.

💡Inauthenticity

Inauthenticity is the state of being untrue or not genuine. The video criticizes inauthentic behavior, such as pretending not to be interested in someone to appear 'cool,' and instead promotes being honest and upfront about one's feelings.

💡Courage

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens one; it is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty without fear. The video encourages viewers to exhibit courage by expressing their feelings despite the fear of rejection.

💡Playful Banter

Playful banter is a light-hearted exchange of comments, often with a teasing or joking nature. The script highlights the importance of playful banter in creating a fun and engaging conversation, which can be more attractive than serious or one-sided questioning.

💡Sexual Tension

Sexual tension refers to a feeling of attraction or chemistry between two people that is not yet acted upon. The video mentions Adonis's conversations with women being full of sexual tension, suggesting that this can be an exciting and engaging aspect of interaction.

💡Regret

Regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that one wished had done or happened in the past. The video contrasts the pain of rejection with the deeper pain of regret for not taking a chance, emphasizing that the latter can be more impactful.

💡Practice

Practice refers to the act of performing an activity repeatedly to improve or maintain one's skill in it. The script suggests that becoming good with girls, or in social interactions, is largely about practice and experience, rather than innate talent.

Highlights

Jeffrey's long-standing crush on Jessica and his inability to express his feelings.

The regret of not taking action due to shyness, as Jeffrey misses the chance with Jessica.

Adonis' understanding of women compared to Jeffrey's, and his avoidance of taxes.

The importance of being bold and not shy around women, as exemplified by the advice given.

The speaker's personal experience of having a crush in Army Cadets and his lack of confidence to act.

The missed opportunity at a Cadets' ball when the speaker's crush reveals interest in someone else.

The concept that fortune favors the bold, emphasizing the need for courage in romantic pursuits.

The idea that courage is acting despite fear, not waiting until one feels fine to take action.

The diminishing pain of rejection with each experience, and its importance in gaining confidence.

The speaker's personal account of numerous rejections and how it has shaped his approach to women.

The speaker's advice on being honest and upfront with women about one's intentions.

The ineffectiveness of the conventional advice of asking questions, likened to an interview.

The preference of women for playful banter and teasing over dry, interview-like conversations.

The speaker's anecdote about teasing his date and its positive impact on their relationship.

The importance of speaking with ambition and passion to attract women, using the speaker's YouTube plans as an example.

The story of a failed attempt to connect with a girl due to boring conversation tactics.

The final advice to do the hard work, especially when it doesn't feel right, and to subscribe for more content.

Transcripts

just speak to a Jeffrey

Jeffrey's had a crush on Jessica for so

long but he just can't muster up the

courage to speak to her he stares at her

in class every single day what do you

think happens next

she gets a boyfriend Jeffrey's so upset

he should have just talked to her Adonis

Adonis understands women just like

Pakistan I'm tired of you doing the tax

one bro just like Pakistani men and know

how to avoid taxes donnish understands

women just like Jeffrey understands the

female characters on League of Legends

obsessively his conversations with women

are full of sexual tension excitement

and interest I was in Army Cadets when I

was a teenager and inside you know you'd

go for like training to train to be in

the Army when you're 14 years old you'd

go and like learn how to like do knots

and ties and stuff there was a

particular part where it would be sat

almost like a classroom and the

instructor in front of us would be

teaching us like the phonetic alphabets

a for Alpha B for beta I couldn't even

focus on what he was saying because my

eyes were just glued onto the girl that

I had a crush on bro she was so [ __ ]

cute bro I had such a big crush on this

girl who was in Army Cadets with me and

I said nothing to her day in and day out

every time like it was time to go to

Cadets maybe two three times a week I

would literally just kind of like stare

at her and I would do this which makes

me so [ __ ] cringe now instead of

saying anything I would literally be sat

there in the classroom room tilted back

on my chair and biting my pen lid I'll

be doing this whilst looking at her

let's go like this bro

and I had no [ __ ] confidence enough

to speak to her I thought this was game

I thought like I was maybe 14 at the

time but I thought this was game bro I

thought I looked like smooth and like

hot as [ __ ] and everything doing this

and eventually there's this big events

for Cadets where hundreds of us from

different groups different detachments

go and like meet up in like this big

city and there's like some big compound

that's been reserved for us and it's

like this organized thing where there's

gonna be like a big dance like a ball at

the end that we've all got like suits

and dresses for and everything and I

remember one of our instructors one of

like the sort of female sort of more

senior girls who were still like you

know quite young she randomly just asked

me once like oh Hamza look would you go

to the dance with her

um yeah yeah of course I would yeah what

happened was that she had the other girl

that I like she had like no one else to

go with and you know I'm last place but

yeah it's fine bro like if she's stuck

with me it's fine a day into this sort

of big event she just kind of like in

front of everyone kind of says that she

has a crush on someone else and that she

wants to go out with him and even one of

like my friends there as well said oh

but what about hamster like he said you

know you should go out you should go

with Amazon and she's like yeah yeah and

I was like oh no don't worry about me

like should go you should go with that

guy

oh man maybe your father or your uncle

hasn't told you this just yet but

fortune favors the Bold you can't be shy

around women you need to grab whatever

confidence you have whatever level of

Courage that you have and just take

action and say something and be honest

that you like this girl being shy and

being you know taking your time with it

it makes you just seem less attractive

and I know what you're thinking and you

could probably relate to you know my

story but I don't know but you know it

doesn't feel right and it's not the

right time I'm gonna wait for the right

time to say something but the thing is

when you're like a certain level of guy

when you don't have that much of

experience with girls or you're not that

confident you're always gonna feel this

level of resistance before you're about

to like speak to a girl and tell her

that you like her courage is when you

feel that feeling of fear but you do the

thing anyway you have to understand that

you have inside of you this emotion

that's telling you like oh no but it's

going to be scary if we talk to her but

you can do the action even if you feel

this emotion you don't need to feel

absolutely fine to go speak to her you

just need to do the action no matter

what you're feeling girls are attracted

to like courageous confident guys who

even if they're experiencing some kind

kind of negative fearful emotion do the

hard work anyway and you might be

thinking I'm scared of rejection well

yeah of course you are rejection is like

a totally scary thing but only really

for the first 50 rejections of your life

by now you watching this you probably

experience rejection maybe 10 times in

your entire life maybe 20 times

obviously online texting [ __ ] like you

know some girl that you've never even

met before on Tinder or something stops

replying to your message that doesn't

count but like a real rejection of you

walking up to a girl saying something in

the sense that you like her and then her

saying oh no sorry I've got a boyfriend

most young guys have only been rejected

like three times and it hurts so

significantly but the pain of rejection

starts up here and it goes down

dramatically with every single one that

you get and I promise you that any of

the guys who are slightly older than you

who are quite experienced with women and

you know who get like quite a lot of

girls have been rejected by 10 times as

many as you can think honestly I may

have been rejected by probably close to

300 400 500 somewhere around that range

in person in person and that's not even

including like the random times like

some girl on Instagram or Tinder that

like doesn't reply to your message to be

good with girls honestly a lot of it's

just quantity it's just a lot of

practice how is it that girls actually

want you to talk to them they just want

you to like be honest and upfront with

what you actually want from us so many

guys especially the younger guys who

don't have much confidence like you go

about it in this like just this [ __ ]

kind of way where you just kind of act

like you don't really like her for what

for what reason what gain is there for

you to pretend that you don't really

like it and that you've got no interest

in it you know there's the kind of cool

Chad looking guy who doesn't act but

just that isn't really that interested

in her and that's kind of attractive but

when it's inauthentic when you are

actually obsessively thinking about this

girl and you try and act too cool and

like pretend like oh I'm not gonna speak

to her like I'm gonna wait till the

right time it's not attractive bro and

the reason why we do that the reason why

we don't go and speak to these girls is

because we're just scared of rejection

because we're scared of like the bad

thing that could happen because we feel

quite fearful you can't be scared of

rejection because regret hurts more than

rejection not speaking to that girl that

you randomly see that one time that you

could have called approach hurts more

than you just going up to speak to her

and her just saying oh sorry I've got a

boyfriend so what should you actually

say when you're next to a girl that you

probably we already know the advice oh

you should ask questions and you should

be interested in them that advice is

like really basic and the guys who

follow it end up feeling that they're in

an interview with the girl and you

probably felt this too you've probably

felt that you've been in this one-sided

conversation where you're asking her

questions and she's answering and it

just feels like an interview maybe she's

asking you the question out of like

politeness you say like oh what's your

favorite type of music and she says oh

yeah like drum and bass what's your

favorite type of music yeah well I

really like 90s bro and the conversation

you know for a fact is not the kind of

one that she's having with Chad so what

conversation are these girls actually

having which sexually excites them and

it's definitely not the kind of one that

you're having which just feels like an

interview this is exactly what you do

instead of asking questions and making

your conversation with her kind of like

an interview you instead tease her

teasing a girl is far far more enjoyable

than going through like this dry boring

ass interview questions about what kind

of music do you like you tease her in

almost like a slightly mocking tone with

like a slight insult you don't want to

just tease her by saying oh yeah you're

a fat [ __ ] some [ __ ] but you want to

tease her in a way that's quite clear

really like not true so it's not going

to hurt her feelings for example with my

girl now that I'm dating for our first

date we sat in a cafe together and we

both had like a hot drink and we were in

Thailand right so we met in Thailand

she's wearing like this beautiful black

dress and this one Cafe was pretty warm

so she started to sweat as you know it's

normal to do in Thailand and I just

started making fun of her for sweating I

was oh you did squat in the in the

bathroom like to warm up before he comes

speaking to me and stuff and you know

she had like a bit of sweat and wiping

it off her and said oh you're so sweet

you know just teasing around with that

that made our conversation flow so well

to the point that I was leaving Thailand

that same day by the way that was my

last day on Thailand I literally just

had like a last minute date with this

girl it was so good she was meant to

stay in Thailand with a brother for like

months in the future we had such a good

time together on that day that she

literally left her travels early came

back to the UK to be with me so I made

such a great impression on our first

date because I focus entirely on this

kind of teasing light-hearted Vibe is

Sexual Energy before getting into the

more sort of serious conversation oh

[ __ ] me holy [ __ ] bro when I was in

university I was a [ __ ] boy right I was

good at sleeping with girls from like

Tinder and clubs and everything and me

and my one friend Levi we went out onto

this club night inside the club you know

we kissed girls and stuff but none of

the girls like were coming out with us

but we leave the club we're about to go

home we've got an Uber and we see these

two like cute looking like bro sexy

looking girls like hot looking girls it

was very interesting because the two

girls we saw were like exactly our type

so we go up and start spitting game to

these girls and we start telling them oh

you're not coming to Aruba come back to

our place and everything we all have

like music we got drinks and everything

and the girls are weighing it up now

yeah go on the girls are vibing us right

so we bring both girls back to our

apartments and I started kissing my

girlfriend with a black haired girl and

I bring her into my room and out of

nowhere bro the other girl walks in just

kind of like not interested she walks in

stops me and my girl and kind of tells

my girl come on Luke we're going I'm

like what the [ __ ] so what you know like

why is my friend not held it down come

on bro just take care of your girl for

like another five minutes bro all I

needed was five minutes bro he sat there

on his bed just looking defeated on my

bro what the [ __ ] all you have to do was

just like keep her busy like if you're

not gonna [ __ ] fine but like I was

about to bro what the [ __ ] like why is

your girl coming to my room and

interrupted me and taking her away and

they just went home now and he just

looks at me he's like oh bro I've got no

[ __ ] game like he usually is kind of

a smooth guy but this is literally what

happened this guy brings his girl into

his room and they sit there with like

the bright light on no music playing or

anything they just sat there at the edge

of his bed and he's just asking her

interview questions so like uh what kind

of music do you like

come around some of his girl just got

bored with the conversation literally

stood up left him came inside my room

just said oh yeah come on we're leaving

you can't be asking girls these boring

ass questions I know that sort of

conventional advice tells you that you

should take an interest in the girl and

you should ask her about her Hobbies bro

girls don't want to speak about their

Hobbies that's boring as [ __ ] they want

you to tease them to have like a little

bit of playful banter to like play

wrestle with each other they want you to

speak about like your work which you're

extremely passionate and ambitious about

do you want to know one of the single

conversations that I've had which has

increased a girl's attraction to me to

the sky limit is with this girl when I

told her about my plans for YouTube with

my leadership of this movement and I

looked her in the eyes and said that I'm

going to the top

do you want to join me imagine how

[ __ ] interesting how emotional that

makes a woman feel when you speak to her

in a certain way well you don't just ask

these little like you know silly

questions like oh did you do the

homework today what's your music typo

like just this like little weak ass bait

of mail sorry boy kind of like

conversations and instead you speak to

her like a man and a man either speaks

to a woman with like so much ambition

and tells her yes like I'm gonna make it

I'm gonna I'm gonna be so successful or

he speaks to her like he's almost like

playing around with her and he's just

kind of like laughing around with it

he's teasing her and stuff he doesn't

take us too seriously honestly most of

the conversations that I have with my

girl it's just me just teasing her and

that like I see her so bubbly so like

goofy so like laughing with me am I

pushing her onto the bed and everything

and they like that stuff they don't want

to be bored sat down next to a guy who's

saying oh what kind of music do you like

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mwah