Why You Need To Get Better At Doing Nothing
Summary
TLDRThis insightful script delves into the importance of 'doing nothing' correctly amidst life's challenges. It challenges the common belief that constant action is the key to success, instead advocating for cognitive reframing as a superior coping mechanism. The speaker explores different types of 'nothing,' from emotion-focused coping that often leads to more problems, to problem-solving that can be futile yet mentally beneficial. Ultimately, the script encourages embracing cognitive reframing to change thought patterns, fostering resilience and a healthier mindset, even when faced with insurmountable obstacles.
Takeaways
- đ§ Doing nothing in the right way can be a powerful coping mechanism, contrary to common belief that action is always necessary.
- đȘ In the face of overwhelming problems, our typical reactions often exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it, such as procrastination or substance use.
- đ The concept of 'doing nothing' needs reevaluation; scientific evidence suggests certain forms of inaction can lead to positive life outcomes.
- đ€Ż The world is currently facing numerous crises, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and counterproductive behaviors.
- đĄ The idea of 'coping mechanisms' is crucial; they are strategies we use to deal with stress or problems, and not all are equally effective.
- đ« Emotion-focused coping, which involves managing feelings rather than addressing the problem, tends to lead to poor long-term outcomes.
- đ Problem-solving as a coping strategy is generally more effective, but it's not always possible or feasible, especially with unsolvable problems.
- đȘ Even when problems seem unsolvable, the act of trying can be beneficial for mental health and may lead to unexpected positive results.
- đ€ Cognitive reframing, a top-tier coping mechanism, involves changing one's perspective on a situation, which can lead to better mental outcomes.
- đ A technique for cognitive reframing includes writing down initial thoughts, considering alternative perspectives, and choosing a reframed thought that feels acceptable.
- đ The power of cognitive reframing lies in its ability to change the natural thought patterns that we develop over time, leading to a more positive mindset.
Q & A
What is the main argument presented in the video script about the importance of 'doing nothing'?
-The main argument is that 'doing nothing' in the right way, specifically cognitive reframing, can be a powerful coping mechanism that leads to positive outcomes in life, as opposed to emotion-focused coping or problem-solving which may not always be effective or feasible.
Why does the speaker suggest that the world is going to 'hell' and how does this relate to the topic of coping mechanisms?
-The speaker uses the metaphor of the world going to 'hell' to illustrate the various problems and stresses people face, such as climate change and societal issues. This sets the stage for discussing how different coping mechanisms can either exacerbate or ameliorate these problems.
What is the concept of 'emotion-focused coping' as described in the script?
-Emotion-focused coping is a strategy where individuals focus on managing their internal emotional state in response to a problem, rather than addressing the problem itself. This approach is said to lead to poor long-term outcomes because it doesn't solve the underlying issues.
How does the speaker differentiate between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms?
-Healthy coping mechanisms, according to the script, are activities like meditating, exercising, and spending time in nature. Unhealthy coping mechanisms might include watching porn, getting drunk, or other activities that provide temporary relief but can create additional problems.
What is the problem with trying to solve unsolvable problems according to the speaker?
-The problem with trying to solve unsolvable problems is that it can lead to a sense of futility and burnout. However, the speaker argues that the act of trying, even when the problem is unsolvable, can have positive psychological effects and prevent giving up.
Can you explain the term 'copium' as used in the script?
-'Copium' in the script refers to the common advice or strategies people use to cope with problems or difficult situations. It's a play on the word 'coping' and is used to highlight the speaker's point about the effectiveness of different coping strategies.
Outlines
đ€ The Paradox of Productive Inaction
The video introduces the counterintuitive concept that doing nothing can be beneficial, especially in a world filled with overwhelming problems like climate change and societal issues. It challenges the notion that constant action is always the solution, suggesting that the wrong kinds of 'nothing' can exacerbate issues. The speaker proposes that re-evaluating our approach to coping mechanisms can lead to positive life outcomes, hinting at the importance of the right kind of inaction and less emphasis on emotion-focused coping.
đ« The Pitfalls of Emotion-Focused Coping
This paragraph delves into emotion-focused coping, where individuals manage their internal emotional states rather than addressing the external problems. It is identified as an ineffective long-term strategy that can lead to more significant issues, such as avoiding studying for a test by engaging in distractions like video games or alcohol. The speaker argues that even when problems seem insurmountable, the act of attempting to solve them has intrinsic psychological benefits, contrasting this with the detrimental effects of giving up.
đĄ The Power of Cognitive Reframing
The speaker introduces cognitive reframing as a superior coping mechanism, which involves changing one's perspective on situations to influence outcomes positively. Using examples from various life scenarios, such as breakups, the paragraph explains how altering one's thought patterns can lead to healthier responses and improved resilience. The speaker emphasizes that even futile efforts can have profound psychological effects, fostering a mindset that is less likely to give up in the face of adversity.
đ The Technique of Cognitive Reframing
The paragraph outlines a specific technique for cognitive reframing, encouraging viewers to write down their initial negative thoughts and then consider how a more resilient person might think about the same situation. It advises recognizing the conflict between the two perspectives and selecting a reframed thought that is most acceptable. The speaker explains that by repeatedly practicing this technique, one can rewire their neural pathways to respond more positively to setbacks, fostering a mindset that differentiates between those who give up and those who persevere.
đ§ The Ultimate Form of 'Doing Nothing'
In the final paragraph, the speaker concludes that the most effective form of 'doing nothing' is actually cognitive reframing, which, whileç䌌 inactive, actively changes one's thought patterns to foster a more positive and resilient mindset. It contrasts this with other forms of coping that are less effective, such as emotion-focused coping or even problem-solving in the face of unsolvable problems. The speaker encourages viewers to embrace this form of 'doing nothing' to improve their mental well-being and life outcomes.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄDoing Nothing
đĄCoping Mechanisms
đĄEmotion-Focused Coping
đĄProblem-Solving
đĄCognitive Reframing
đĄBurnout
đĄUnsolvable Problems
đĄMental Aspect of Problem Solving
đĄSetbacks vs. Giving Up
đĄDgen Technique
Highlights
The importance of doing 'nothing' in the right way to improve life outcomes.
Different types of 'nothing' and the scientific perspective on their effects.
The paradox of doing less to achieve more in life.
Coping mechanisms and their role in problem-solving and emotional management.
The prevalence of emotion-focused coping and its negative long-term outcomes.
The ineffectiveness of emotion-focused coping in solving underlying problems.
The concept of 'lit in action' as a positive form of doing 'nothing'.
The contrast between healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
The limitations of problem-solving as a coping mechanism in the face of unsolvable problems.
The psychological benefits of attempting to solve unsolvable problems.
The story of a patient with terminal cancer and the lessons in coping.
The power of cognitive reframing as a top-tier coping mechanism.
The process of cognitive reframing to change the way one thinks about situations.
The impact of cognitive reframing on long-term mental health and resilience.
The practical steps to engage in cognitive reframing for personal growth.
The distinction between giving up and experiencing setbacks in life.
The transformative potential of doing 'nothing' through cognitive reframing.
The final encouragement to embrace the power of 'doing nothing' in the right way.
Transcripts
today we're going to talk about why
doing nothing is the most important
thing you can
do now this may sound kind of bizarre
because you're sitting there thinking
well I do a lot of nothing and in fact
my problem is that I do way too much
nothing and instead I need to be doing
something but it turns out that
scientifically there are different kinds
of nothing and we tend to do the wrong
kinds of nothing and there are actually
certain kinds of lit in action that lead
to positive outcomes in our life now
this may sound weird but just hear me
out so right now we live in a world that
is going to hell there's climate change
problems inflation problems dating and
gender Dynamics are a mess like people
under the age of 30 are mostly living
with their parents there's like Wars and
stuff going on the world is an absolute
mess so as human beings when we are
faced with absolute messes we do
particular things and it turns out that
the things that we do when we are faced
with problems actually create more
problems than they solve as a simple
example let's say I have a final that's
coming up at the end of the week and I'm
terrified that I'm not going to do well
so what do I end up doing in order to
deal with this problem I end up spending
a lot of time playing video games or
binge watching shows or maybe even
getting drunk or something like that so
it is the way that I try to solve my
problems that actually creates
additional problems it would be one
thing if I just didn't do anything all
day long but even the things that I
choose to engage in like let's say I do
get drunk or go to a party or something
like that mean that I'm hung over the
next day which means that studying for
the test is actually harder the most
common experience that I hear from
people today is despite the fact that
they're swimming really hard everyone is
still drowning despite the fact that you
are trying to stay afloat the harder you
seem to work the worse things become and
then what ends up happening is people
feel incredibly burnt out so today what
we're going to do is figure out how to
completely re-evaluate that cycle and
paradoxically do less but in the right
way so this sort of idea actually comes
from some really interesting research
around coping mechanisms so coping
mechanisms are things that we do when
something is not going right so when I
have a problem the way that I manage
that problem is the way that I cope and
recently what I've heard especially in
the field of like Psychiatry and therapy
and even just the internet is everyone's
like level up your coping mechanisms
bruh like I need to be able to cope like
I need my copium like oh my God like
everyone needs to be meditating and
exercising and spending time in nature
and like these are the healthy coping
mechanisms instead what we need to do is
get rid of the unhealthy coping
mechanisms I need to be meditating
instead of watching porn and jerking off
well it ain't that easy right and so
today what we're actually going to teach
you is a little bit better of a way to
deal with your problems with actually
doing less because that's actually the
most powerful coping mechanism I know it
sounds crazy but hear me out let's start
with the worst form of coping which is
called emotion focused coping so motion
focused coping is when something goes
wrong out there it creates an internal
change in here so if I am you know for
example if I have that test and I feel
afraid what I'm going to sort of focus
on is not fixing the problem out there
but managing my internal emotional state
this is called emotion focused coping
and what we sort of know from studies in
Psychology Psychiatry coping mechanisms
especially things like trauma is that
the worst kind of coping mechanisms are
actually emotion focused coping emotion
focused coping mechanisms actually lead
to poor outcomes over the long term so
what that means more practically is if I
solve my problems or if the way I deal
with my problems because I'm not really
solving them or to actually change my
internal emotional state that actually
doesn't fix any problems and is going to
lead to worse problems later on let's
just think about this right so let's say
I have a test I'm studying for or
supposed to be studying for and instead
I feel incredibly anxious and fearful
that I'm not going to do well on the
test I really need an a I really need an
A and what do I do with all that fear
and anxiety I turn to something like
video games or pornography or alcohol or
marijuana or whatever something to
manage my internal emotional state there
are also other examples of this so let's
say you're in a relationship with
someone who is very very dependent on
your emotional support or maybe you're
the one who needs emotional support and
then anytime you feel negative emotions
in here your goal is to make those
negative emotions go away now this is a
huge problem nowadays especially with
things like trigger warnings now I'm not
completely against trigger War warnings
there's some evidence that they're a
little bit harmful but let's just
understand this okay so what goes on
with a trigger warning what goes on with
a trigger warning is you say something
that makes me feel a particular way
we're not saying talk talk about hate
speech or anything but you say something
oh my God you were talking about
exercising and that triggers my trauma
about when I last went to the gym so in
this situation what is this person doing
they're saying that you should stop
doing what you're doing to try to
control my internal emotional state the
worst problem here is that we are
surrendering the power of our internal
emotional state to other people but at
the end of the day all of these are
emotion focused coping and the purpose
of emotion focused coping is to fix
the emotions that are caused by problems
so what happens when we use emotion
focused coping at the best nothing
changes right because I'm managing my
emotions but I'm not solving the
problems that actually create them and
at the worst when I engage in Emotion
focused coping it actually impairs me
when I try to solve my problems I'm more
hung over now it's been a week since
I've studied and I forgot something so
even though I've sort of delayed by
seven days I'm actually forgetting
something each one of those days and so
what we sort of know of the science of
emotion focused coping is that people
who rely on it tend to do poorly so if
we don't want to do emotion focused
coping what's the other option so now we
move to standard copium in standard
copium the most common example of this
is something like problem solving so as
we already said you know I have a couple
ways of dealing with my problems one is
that I can try to manage my emotions and
not actually deal with the problem and
the second is I can actually deal with
the problem and the cool thing is when
we focus on problem solving is a coping
mechanism the data shows that we tend to
do better right no surprise that people
who fix their problems tend to do better
in life so here I am telling you oh just
go problem solve and just fix your
problems and this is where we run into a
really important problem with problem
solving which is if you are listening to
this video right now you've already
figured it out which is that you can't
solve all your problems right because
hey the world is going to hell
everything is screwed up climate change
and inflation all the other crap that I
said I haven't been able to go on a date
in 2 years I've never had a girlfriend
all the men I I date are toxic and all
these kinds of problems exist out there
and these are unsolvable problems and so
then what do we do we decide to give up
so this is the other problem with
problem solving is if the Mind cannot
clearly see a path to problem solve we
will go ahead and give up and that is
exactly the wrong thing to do because as
it turns out trying to solve unsolvable
problems is one of the most useful
things you can do this may sound insane
but hear me out so I'm going to tell you
all the story so when I was an intern I
had a patient who had stage four
metastatic liver cancer so this means
that they had cancer of the liver and it
had spread all throughout their body so
this person was going to die and his
family would come in every day and they
would be freaking out we'd sort of
explain to this person and his family
what the diagnosis is you've got maybe
about a month to live right that's like
it's like one of these bad scenarios and
the family was like they since he's got
liver cancer so the liver is like up
here and then it presses on the stomach
it's it metastasizes so it's all in his
abdomen and it's his intestines and
stomach and stuff like that so what is
he doing he's not eating and then the
family gets really really bent out of
shape about this they're like oh my god
he has to keep his strength up he's not
eating anything you got to get him to
eat like we're trying to get him to eat
he needs to eat he needs to eat needs to
keep his strength up and I'm sitting
there in the back and I'm kind of
thinking like bro what are y'all talking
about like he doesn't strength ain't
going to make a difference the guy is
like terminally ill with cancer like
this isn't going to work and so this was
back when I was an intern right so this
was before I became a psychiatrist and I
realiz I didn't realize at the time that
we're missing out on something really
really important which is that when we
try to problem solve there are two
mechanisms actually at play one is we
are trying to solve the problem and if
we can fix our external circumstances
then we will sort of get better right
right our lives will get better
objectively because we fix something but
there's a second aspect to problem
solving which is incredibly important
and has nothing to do with with whether
the problem gets solved or not and that
is the mental aspect of problem solving
so in the case of this family what they
were doing is doing anything they could
and the cool thing about that is that
anything that they can do even if it's
completely irrelevant in the long run
changes their psychology so if we look
at in the face of unsolvable problems
there are two options one is we can try
to do something futile and then at least
we're giving it you know we're trying
something we're giving it some effort
that we've got or what we can do is give
up and now this is the beautiful thing
when it comes to long-term outcomes and
people who use coping mechanisms and
stuff like that there's one big
difference that people who try do way
better than people who give up and so
the other really bizarre thing is that
frequently when we give up we also have
a cognitive bias at Play and our mind
tells us there is no point in trying
because we are doomed to failure but
that isn't objectively correct
especially if you look at something like
dating or whatever there there's so many
people that I've talked to who have said
yeah this is objectively hopeless
everything is a mess look at all this
evidence that I have from the internet
and people talking on the internet and
people posting things on shorts and
Twitter or X or whatever it is nowadays
and look at all of this evidence and I
have my own experience of trying to go
on dates three or four times and
everyone says right cuz let's remember
that the internet is scientific research
those two are absolutely
interchangeable when we're sort of faced
in that situation we tend to give up and
so I know it sounds crazy but even in
the face of unsolvable problems I
strongly encourage you to give it a shot
and don't worry about your mind telling
you this will never work that's not what
we're actually shooting for when we're
trying to solve an unsolvable problem
the goal is not to actually solve the
problem but there's a decent chance
you'll make an impact of some kind the
goal is mentally to not give up the goal
is to mentally understand that if you
can put forth some effort even if it's
futile it changes the equation of mental
burnout in your mind so this is kind of
what copium is all about we absolutely
want to try to solve our problems but
even in the face of unsolvable problems
you should still give it a shot because
human beings at the end of the day when
they do something they feel like they're
doing something right so people will
kind of say oh you know I prayed to
whoever right I prayed to God and
because I prayed to God this person's
life was saved and I'm not trying to
dock on prayer or say God exists or
doesn't exist or anything like that I'm
just pointing out that the psychology of
doing something makes people feel like a
little bit more responsible and take a
little bit more credit if things are
moving in the right direction so we
absolutely want to give things a shot
and then we move to the top tier of
coping mechanisms which is what I would
dub hopium which is the super cool
because the top tier of coping
mechanisms that leads to the best
outcomes in life actually involves doing
absolutely nothing and this tier of
coping mechanism is called cognitive
reframing cognitive reframing is
literally changing the way that you
think about things and I know it sounds
insane but I've worked with a lot of
people who are like degenerate Gamers
and a lot of people who are super
successful like CEOs and like streamers
and stuff like that and what I've the
really bizarre thing is that I don't
think that there's a big difference
between these two groups of people hell
in my life the big difference like I was
the same person I was like 15 years ago
as to now what really changed my IQ
didn't change it's not like my
conscientiousness magically increased
what changed was the way that I think
about things which is technically doing
nothing and so cognitive reframing is
one of the most important tools that you
can actually harness so let's understand
this a little bit B better okay so you
can take two different people who
encounter the same scenario let's say
they go through a breakup and literally
we've done scientific studies on the way
that people respond to breakups and what
we found is that the way that they think
determines their outcomes over time so
if I break if I break up with someone I
can think to myself oh my God I'm
unlovable and I will be alone for the
rest of my life and this person is going
to do so much better without me and
there's no hope for me right so we went
through a breakup they dumped me didn't
dump me whatever you can pick whatever
scenario you want on the flip side we
have people who are good at cognitive
reframing and these people literally
take their initial thoughts and try to
move them in a different direction and
you can even acknowledge the negativity
wow I got dumped that means that you
know I'm really not in a good place
right now I really have a lot of work to
do if I want to become a healthy person
who can engage in a healthy relationship
even even though this relationship fell
apart at the least I learned a lot from
it and I will be better prepared to
engage in future relationships so this
is literally what cognitive reframing is
and this is what we do in Psychotherapy
is that we take people's default
thoughts and what we actually try to
help them do is reframe to more helpful
thoughts and so it's not enough that I
just tell y'all hey just start thinking
differently bruh so there's a a
particular process that I'm going to
walk youall through like a you know a
quick rundown of how to cognitively
reframe hey just a quick note a lot of
people will ask us what do I do next and
that's why we built Dr K's guide It's a
comprehensive resource that distills
over 20 years of my experience both as a
monk and as a psychiatrist and it's
designed in a way that's tailored to fit
your needs so if you're interested in
better understanding your mind and
taking control of your life check out
the link below so the first thing to do
if you want to C cognitively reframe is
you want to write down whatever your
initial thoughts are so you're going to
have all of these kinds of like negative
thoughts that kind of come out and just
write them down right and then ask
yourself this kind of a dgen technique
okay ask yourself if you were a
different human being if you were a more
resilient human being if you were a
better human being if you were one of
like one of those people who's like good
at life right instead of you what would
they think about the situation you know
those dumb asses that are trying to
encourage you and get you back up and
stuff like that they're like oh man like
think about the big picture like what
would they say and what you're going to
find is that there is an instinctive
revulsion to that second column what
you're going to find is as you write
things down your mind will naturally
react by countering those kinds of
things but here's the crazy thing just
because your mind has a reaction doesn't
mean that it's true and so then what you
want to do is notice that third reaction
right which is the conflict between
column 1 and column two just how do you
feel when you're trying to write down
the second column and write those things
down this is absurd this doesn't work
for me this works for other people but
is not going to apply in my case you're
going to recognize all these kinds of
thoughts and just jot them down then
take a deep breath and just ask yourself
out of the second column which is the
hopeful column right which is the
cognitive reframe column which of these
things because you can't accept all of
them but is there a single one that you
can somewhat sort of accept right so you
take these five things in which one is
the least offensive is the least
Incorrect and just circle that one and
just spend a little bit of time thinking
about it and then ask yourself okay why
can I accept this one after you pick
your one just ask yourself okay what is
it about this one that makes it okay
well at the end of the day like I know
technically any breakup that I go
through I will have learned something
I'll have gotten better at breaking up
I'm managing my emotions it's like
pushing me to do a little bit better and
this way and this way and this way and
so Something Beautiful happens the
second you start doing doing that is
that you have actually cognitively
reframed you've literally rewired your
neurons a little bit because what we
know about thinking is that thinking
happens in patterns so anytime you see a
particular thing your mind will evoke
the same thoughts right so like in my
case you know like I was just thinking
about one of my kids and one of my kids
doesn't like Mayo so the first question
she asks anytime she sees a sandwich is
is there Mayo on it every time there's a
sandwich it triggers some kind of
response and in my case it's like
whenever I eat something sweet I'm like
wow I like this it's not too sweet so
you may have noticed that you say the
same damn [Â __Â ] over and over and over
again or people that you know say the
same damn [Â __Â ] over and over and over
again and that's because our neurons
have been well-wired in that way so if
we want to start thinking differently
literally what we have to do is push
this up this Boulder uphill of positive
thoughts and it will feel very very
cumbersome when we first do it the
beautiful thing is that if you engage in
this cognitively reframing technique
over and over and over again your mind
mind will literally start to change the
natural responses that you have when you
get a setback will be a little bit
different you'll be able to look on the
brighter side of things and once you're
able to look on the brighter side of
things that's the first Domino because
now you're not in despair now you're not
burnt out now you're not giving up at
the first setback and even if we sort of
think about these terms what is the
difference between giving up in a
setback it's just whether you keep going
or not right a setback which is your
last setback is when you give up but if
you don't give up after a setback it
automatically becomes a setback and so
then the question you need to ask
yourself is what do you want your life
to be do you want to be a person who
gives up or has setbacks and that's the
big difference between a dgen gamer and
a CEO one of them gives up and one of
them has
setbacks so I know it sounds kind of
crazy but it turns out that a lot of
what we do when we are faced with
problems actually creates more problems
this is why doing nothing is actually
everything but there are different kinds
of nothing and the most important
nothing that you can do is the nothing
up here the interesting thing is if you
really pay attention most of y'all when
you say I do nothing you're not actually
doing nothing you're doing something
right I have a test at the end of the
week are you literally doing nothing no
you start doing crap you start doing
dumb crap right you start watching TV or
you're on YouTube right now
procrastinating from doing the work that
you're doing by watching this [Â __Â ]
video this is not doing nothing you are
doing something you are watching me
right now and that's the crazy thing is
that what we sort of found is that
people who focus on doing something that
makes them feel better mopi or emotion
Focus coping or even problem solving are
not as Chad or Stacy as people who
actually do a little bit less or do way
less but do that Less in a very
particular way which is cognitively
reframing and not giving up this is
normally the part of the video where I
would say now go out and do something
but actually maybe you should do
[Music]
nothing
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