How to regain a woman's attraction

Summary

This video script outlines nine essential steps for men to regain and maintain attraction in their relationships. It emphasizes the importance of self-assurance, having a clear vision for one's life, and not seeking constant validation from a partner. The speaker advises against being overly apologetic or needy, and instead encourages men to lead with purpose, set boundaries, and communicate effectively. He also stresses the need for men to see themselves as a 'prize' and to expect the same from their partners, fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and attraction.

Takeaways

• 😀 Confidence and certainty are key to attraction; acting apologetic or needy can detract from it.
• 🌟 Your 'vibe' or energy, including leadership and assertiveness, significantly influences your attractiveness to your partner.
• 🧭 Having a clear vision for your life and not just settling for what's available can make you more attractive and purposeful.
• 🤷‍♂️ Avoid being overly agreeable or seeking constant validation through text messages; this can signal a lack of self-worth.
• 🏆 Recognize and value yourself; a man who doesn't value himself is less likely to be valued by a woman.
• 🎯 Create a vision for your future and include your partner in it; this provides direction and excitement for the relationship.
• 🎉 Remember that relationships should be fun; focus on enjoying activities together to reignite attraction.
• 💬 Effective communication involves expressing true feelings rather than just discussing problems.
• 🛑 Stop asking for permission for every decision; demonstrate leadership by taking initiative.
• 🚫 Avoid oscillating between being overly dependent (a 'baby') or overly aggressive (a 'bastard'); maintain emotional maturity.
• 🏅 See yourself as a 'prize' worth being with; excellence in various aspects of life can make you more attractive.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The main topic of the video is about the nine steps to regain attraction in a relationship, particularly with one's wife.

Why is the topic controversial on the internet?

The topic is controversial because it deals with personal relationships and attraction, which are subjective and can elicit strong opinions from different people.

What is the first mistake mentioned that guys often make regarding attraction?

The first mistake mentioned is that guys often talk out of liking themselves, acting apologetically and not coming from a place of certainty, which negatively affects their vibe and presence.

What is the biggest determining factor for a woman's attraction to a man according to the video?

The biggest determining factor for a woman's attraction to a man is the man's vibe, presence, energy, leadership, and power.

Why is having a vision for one's life important for attraction?

Having a vision for one's life is important for attraction because it shows that the man is purposeful, has direction, and is not solely focused on pleasing the woman, which can lead to respect and attraction.

What does the video suggest about the role of a woman in a man's life?

The video suggests that a woman should play a supporting role in a man's life, not the main event or lead actor, and that both partners should help each other and work towards a greater vision together.

What is the advice given for men to be more secure in their relationships?

The advice given is for men to own all aspects of themselves, not seek approval from their partners, and love themselves from a place of self-assurance, which will naturally lead to standing up for themselves and setting boundaries.

Why is it suggested to stop trying to impress a woman all the time?

It is suggested to stop trying to impress a woman all the time because it can come off as neediness and insecurity. Instead, being secure and authentic is more attractive.

What is the importance of communication in relationships as mentioned in the video?

Communication is important because it allows partners to express their true feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment. It helps in resolving issues internally and not letting problems define the relationship.

Why should men stop asking for permission in their relationships?

Men should stop asking for permission because it shows a lack of certainty and conviction in their own lives and visions. It's healthier to take initiative and lead, which can naturally attract respect and cooperation from their partners.

What is the final piece of advice given in the video for men to improve their relationships?

The final piece of advice is for men to see themselves as the prize, to demonstrate excellence in their lives, and to hold their partners to the same standard, not by dictating but by leading by example.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Pitfalls of Lack of Certainty in Attraction

The video discusses the importance of certainty and self-assuredness in maintaining attraction in a relationship. It points out that men often undermine their attractiveness by being overly apologetic and lacking a clear vision for their lives, which leads to a loss of respect from their partners. The speaker emphasizes the significance of a man's vibe, presence, and energy in attracting his partner and suggests that men should focus on their own goals and assertiveness rather than seeking constant validation from their partners.

05:01

🎯 The Importance of Casting a Vision and Having Fun

This paragraph highlights the necessity for individuals to have a vision for their lives and to not just settle for whatever comes their way in relationships. It criticizes the tendency of men to lack variety in their interactions with women and to not value themselves, which in turn affects their attractiveness. The speaker advises that men should live life on their terms and include their partners in their vision, rather than making their partners the central focus of their lives. Additionally, the paragraph stresses the importance of having fun and not losing sight of the initial reason for being in a relationship—to enjoy companionship and shared experiences.

10:02

🚫 Overcoming the Tendency to Seek Permission and Being the Prize

The final paragraph addresses the habit of men constantly seeking permission for their actions, which can lead to a lack of respect and attraction from their partners. It encourages men to take the lead and make decisions with certainty and conviction, rather than relying on the approval of others. The speaker also discusses the importance of seeing oneself as a prize and maintaining high standards in all aspects of life, including health, career, and personal growth. This self-perception of being worthy and valuable can influence a partner to match or rise to these standards, fostering a more balanced and attractive dynamic in the relationship.

Keywords

💡Attraction

Attraction in the context of the video refers to the magnetic pull or appeal one person has over another, particularly in romantic relationships. It is the main theme of the video, as the speaker discusses methods to enhance or regain attraction in a marriage or relationship. For example, the speaker mentions that a man's 'vibe' or 'energy' significantly influences a woman's attraction towards him.

💡Certainty

Certainty is defined as being confident and resolute in one's actions and decisions. In the video, it is highlighted as a critical factor in maintaining a woman's attraction, as men who lack certainty may come across as apologetic and non-assertive. The speaker uses the phrase 'from a place of certainty' to emphasize the importance of a man being decisive and self-assured in his interactions.

💡Neediness

Neediness is portrayed as a negative trait in the video, where a person seeks constant validation or approval from others, particularly a romantic partner. The speaker warns that men who exhibit neediness, such as through excessive texting or apologetic behavior, can diminish their attractiveness by appearing insecure and overly dependent on their partner's approval.

💡Vision

A vision, in this context, is a clear and inspiring picture of one's future aspirations and goals. The speaker argues that men who do not have a 'bigger vision' for their lives are less attractive, as they fail to demonstrate direction and purpose. The video suggests that having a vision helps in casting a more appealing image to a partner, as it shows ambition and a plan for personal growth and success.

💡Value

Value, in the video, refers to the self-worth and self-respect a person holds. The speaker points out that men who do not value themselves are less likely to be valued by others, including their partners. It is used to illustrate the importance of self-appreciation and not settling for less in life or relationships.

💡Fun

Fun is emphasized as a fundamental aspect of relationships that should not be overlooked. The speaker reminds viewers that the original purpose of dating and being in a relationship is to enjoy life and have a good time together. The script mentions that focusing on fun activities can help reignite attraction and strengthen the bond between partners.

💡Communication

Communication is highlighted as a key element in relationships, with the speaker noting that many people fail to communicate their true feelings, often due to fear of judgment. The video suggests that effective communication involves expressing one's feelings honestly without being preoccupied with others' opinions, which can help resolve issues and misunderstandings.

💡Permission

Permission, in the video, symbolizes the reliance on others' approval before taking action. The speaker criticizes the habit of constantly seeking permission as a sign of lack of self-assurance and conviction. The script uses the concept to encourage men to take initiative and make decisions without always needing external validation.

💡Respect

Respect is discussed as a two-way street in relationships, where both partners should earn and maintain each other's respect. The speaker mentions that a lack of respect can lead to a breakdown in the relationship, as when a man is seen as a 'sure bet' and the woman no longer feels the need to contribute or improve herself for the relationship.

💡Self-Control

Self-control is portrayed as an essential quality for emotional maturity in relationships. The speaker describes how a lack of self-control can lead to men behaving like a 'baby' or a 'bastard' when they do not get their way, which is unattractive and counterproductive. The video encourages developing emotional self-control to navigate relationships healthily.

💡Excellence

Excellence, in the context of the video, refers to the pursuit of high standards in various aspects of life, such as physical fitness, career success, and personal growth. The speaker uses the term to emphasize that men who strive for excellence in their lives are more likely to be seen as 'the prize' and are therefore more attractive to potential partners.

Highlights

The video discusses nine steps to gain attraction in a relationship, focusing on the importance of a man's vibe and presence.

The first mistake men make is talking out of liking, showing a lack of certainty and leadership.

A man's vision and purpose are crucial for maintaining a woman's respect and attraction.

Men often fail to value themselves, leading to a lack of attraction as they seek validation from their partners.

Casting a bigger vision for one's life is essential to avoid settling for less in relationships.

Having variety and options in relationships is important to value oneself and be attractive.

Men should remember that women want to have fun and not be constantly impressed or entertained.

Being secure and owning oneself is more important than seeking approval from a partner.

Boundaries are crucial for self-respect and are often established when a man starts standing up for himself.

Communication should focus on expressing genuine feelings rather than discussing problems.

Leading by example is more effective than commanding or asking for permission in a relationship.

Asking for permission too often can lead to a lack of respect and attraction from a partner.

Men should see themselves as the prize and demonstrate it through their daily life and actions.

A man's self-perception as a prize influences how he expects his partner to contribute to the relationship.

The video emphasizes the importance of self-improvement and excellence in being attractive to a partner.

The speaker suggests that most relationship problems can be resolved by focusing on giving and enjoying time together.

The final point is that men should not become emotionally immature by acting like a victim or a perpetrator.

Transcripts

hey my brother in this video I'm going

to talk about how to gain attraction

with your wife the nine steps that you

can take and now this is always

controversial on the internet the

interwebs because everybody has

something to say about it but in this

video I'm going to show you exactly what

needs to happen and why it matters you

can go test it in your own relationship

and the girlfriend in your life and uh

that's what we're going to talk about

the first killer that guys do when it

comes to attraction is he talks out of

liking him in other words he's got a lot

of behaviors and innuendos and the way

he does where he's very apologetic in

the way that he acts in his life he's

not he's not really com from a place of

certainty the biggest determining factor

in her attraction for you is your Vibe

your your presence your energy your

energy of leadership and survivability

and power and attract and uh and

assertion these lead into her being

attracted to you if you lose purpose you

lose sight of yourself you lose where

you're going and you can't tell her no

in the face of where you want to go then

she's going to lose respect for you

she's like well you're more worried

about keeping me and getting my love in

my sexuality than actually going after

what you want as a guy and so most guys

keep doing that they keep giving that up

and that's the big thing they just talk

her out of liking him by saying dumb

like well I like whatever you like

he might not say that word for word but

he's acting like that and he apologizes

for the way he acts and the way he talks

and he's always trying to reach out to

her with text messages and his text

messages aren't really saying hey good

morning his text messages are really

conveying the message of hey do you

still like me and he comes from this

energy of neediness of hey if she still

likes me if she loves me then I'm valid

as a man and number two is he's not

casting a bigger vision for his life

most guys go after a woman like well

she's fun and she's sexy and then she

seems to like me so I think I can make

this work which is the wrong frame to go

towards anything in your life I mean you

do that with your business or your

schoolwork or even being a father well

this seems to work let's see what

happens like no you're very conscious of

it you're like this is the vision that I

want this is how I want to evoke these

things in my life and then you go after

and make it happen

but most guys don't have enough variety

or options with women that he just takes

whatever is available to him and he says

hey can I make this work as if like

she's the only one that's ever going to

show up in his life and because of this

he doesn't value himself and a guy who

doesn't value himself is not very

attractive woman's going to reflect back

on you how you think about yourself so

if you go up and you start talking to

women they start going be like ew yeah

it's because you think about yourself

that way and you probably showed up that

way when you went and talk to her

they're reflection of your unconscious

thinking and because you haven't casted

a vision for your future you're not

living life on your terms in other words

you're usually living life on whatever

term she dictates hey where are we going

this weekend wherever she wants to go

what are we doing for dinner whatever

she wants hey how can I make her happy

what can I do to prove myself to her

what can I do to prove my love to her

it's like why are we making our whole

life about proving anything to this

woman your job should be proving life to

yourself to show that you're doing

awesome with purpose and power pointing

it straight to God and then in that

space you create this vehicle for which

you might want want to get on board and

promote for you you see the woman in

your life plays a supporting role she's

not the main event she's not the lead

actor she's your right hand she's the

one that helps you figure out your own

issues and you help her guide her

through hers and you go towards this

greater Vision that you've cast for the

both of you and because you don't have

this Vision you can't include her in it

you can't include her what's going on so

you don't even have this Vision so she's

like where are we going most guys will

ask me that she he'll be like yeah I

dated her for 3 weeks we sleeping

together for about two and she's saying

well where's this going and I don't

think want a relationship with her I'm

like well that's not what she's asking

you she's asking you what is this

vehicle of life that you're taking us on

where are we going and guys just don't

realize that that's what she's asking

for like what is this Vision that you're

casting I don't see the vision I think

you have a vision I'm not sure what it

is and am I a part of that where is this

going where are we going where we like

she's asking you about your leadership

role in the relationship and you're not

clearly defining it and so what ends up

happening is you just kind of go in a

the default State we all know what

happens when you default on anything is

the choices made for you in your life a

fifth thing you can do is remember Girls

Just Want to Have Fun stop trying to

impress her all the time stop trying to

be cool stop trying to be confident to

be funny what I tell guys to do is just

be secure and how do you be secure well

go do things you want to do in other

words own you own all of you don't look

for her to approve of you but if you can

own all of you and love yourself from

that place when when she tries to knock

you down you're going to be like who are

you to tell me that and you'll start

standing up for yourself and for the mo

first time for most guys this is where

boundaries start to pop up for the first

time in their life like whoa whoa whoa

wait a minute I'm worth something here

and so remember you go out there living

your life the way you want to on your

terms is what makes you attractive it's

one of a bunch of facets but it's a lot

of the underlying thing that you're

doing and so remember you going out

there and having fun in things that

you're going to want to do will then

attract other women who want to do the

same type of things you want to and

again she just wants to have fun with

you isn't that the whole point of a

relationship like I didn't go out there

and date because like I want to have a

serious relationship I want to get

married and have kids it's like no I

went out there and dated because I want

to have fun I want to have some love and

Intimacy in my life that was the whole

point of it but most people they get all

caught up and wrapped up in like kids

and diapers and businesses and jobs and

school and lunches and cleaning the

house that they forget that the whole

purpose that they were together was to

have fun

if you can bring that back bring the fun

back in your relationship by doing what

you find fun then you will start

bringing back some of the attraction

communication like everybody talks about

well we just don't communicate enough

well a lot of the issue is is most

people aren't communicating how they

actually feel about things they're

always worried about what other people

think and so a lot of times you can go

into your relationship and you just it

just just gets defined by all these

problems you go to the marriage counsel

like always talking about your problems

it's better to not have actually talk

about your problems and just resolve

them internally in other words if she

has problems with me I just resolve them

if I have a problem within myself am I'm

feeling vulnerable or insecure or unsafe

or something I resolve that Within

Myself and then I operate different in

my life you'll find that if you start

operating different your woman will

start following your lead in that

operation you won't even have to say

anything just the natural occurrence of

the feminine desire to be to lead from a

strong leader strong masculine type she

will just naturally fall in line and

most guys be like well she doesn't want

to be commanded she I can't tell her to

do anything yeah well stop telling her

to do stuff of course she's going to

tell you no she's a strong independent

woman you tell her hey woman you should

follow my lead yeah she's going to tell

you no and she should because if you're

actually leading properly you wouldn't

have to tell her you just do it and then

she'd be like wow this is nice things

are just happening I don't have to worry

about it you'll be like yeah you're

welcome which leads to number seven stop

asking for permission most guys ask for

permission for everything it's like even

you watching this video you're asking

for permission to tell you how you

probably already know how you should

operate I'm like yeah brother just go do

it you got my permission it's the right

way to go and you're like I thought it I

thought so I knew it I knew it now I saw

it on the internet Ed told me I'm gonna

go do it like for think about your life

how many things are you asking for

permission for well I need to get a

second opinion should I ask my boss for

raise I don't know let me go talk to my

friends let me go talk to my mom let me

talk to my wife let me talk to my kids

let me talk to whoever just asking for

permission all the time like if you

really wanted it you just go do it and

you don't do it because you lack

certainty and conviction in your own

life where you're going what your

purpose is and what your vision is if

you had all of that stuff then you

wouldn't be asking these questions you

would just go do it doesn't mean you're

being a dictator and being dominant of

course you're going to go and you're

going to ask people what what what their

opinions are if it's going to relate to

them right if you don't want to hurt

them you don't want to overstep your

bounds you're going to ask them these

things but if you're doing it like hey

why should I do this thing that I know

to be true then yeah stop asking for

permission and just

go and most guys because they're always

asking permission from their wife let's

say that she's lost respect for them and

she doesn't want to have sex anymore

she's just not in a mood she's tired and

she's not valuing the relationship

anymore because she knows you're a sure

bet you'll never leave her which means

that she doesn't have to do anything

anymore to try to get better she gains a

bunch of weight and she just starts

complaining about things and you do more

and more and more and more and it

doesn't really lead to a place where she

feels like she can really lean on your

leadership you just become the

servant then when you go and ask for sex

or you ask for affection or you ask for

love then what'll end up happening is

she's like no I don't want to I'm tired

I got a headache and so guys will go

between two places they'll become a

little bit of they'll become a baby and

you'll complain about well we never want

to I don't understand why don't you want

to do this or he'll become a bastard

like well I just do you just take

advantage of me and you take all the

stuff and all the stuff I provide for

you and so guys will jump between being

just a baby an emotionally immature guy

to being a bastard who who's just as

emotionally immature but this guy's

being a victim and this guy's being a

perpetrator and there's no middle ground

here so when guys don't get their way

they always end up becoming a baby or a

bastard because they can't really

demonstrate any kind of emotional

self-control in their relationship or in

their marriage which is another reason

why she doesn't open up and tell him how

she's really feeling because he'll fall

into baby or fall into bastard he'll act

like a victim like he's not getting his

needs met or be a bastard he'll get

angry at her for not getting his Mees

net he forgets that a relationship is

about giving it's about both people

coming together saying hey what can I do

to serve you but on the flip side saying

your happiness is your responsibility

and my happiness is my own and in this

place of me saying I'm here to give and

my happiness is my own I can now come

into this relationship from a healthy

place just like she can imagine having

your wife saying my happiness is my own

problem and you say my happiness is my

own problem and at the same time both

coming together because you want to give

is a primary thing and have a good time

you'll find that most relationship

problems dissolve in that in that

container but most people can ever get

out of their own head of their own

greediness and their own blaming the

other person for not getting their needs

met and the last one number of nine is

most guys don't see themselves as the

prize now I'm not saying this is a fake

hubris type of a thing where you're the

prize I mean actually being a guy that's

worth being with most guys if you look

at most people hell just go walk around

in in town most people are overweight

they don't care about the way they dress

they don't care about the way they talk

they don't care about their hygiene they

don't care about the way their clothes

fit or the money that they're making

they just want to live this life of

sedation they just want to get to the

weekend and just relax and so because

none of the none of these people want to

actually have excellence in any area of

their life they don't look at themselves

as being a prize they don't look at

themselves as having excellence and

being worthy of excellence and so when

they don't look at them like for

instance you have a guy who's paying

attention to his body he's fit as

he's watches his diet he makes good

money he's got a business that's on fire

and his purposeful his purpose is

pointed towards God and he's very

deliberate about the K how he raises his

children and a woman comes into his life

and she tries to throw over all of

that you think he's going to put up with

that he shouldn't but I see guys do it

all the time because he doesn't see

himself as a prize you have to see

yourself as a prize and demonstrate it

in the way that you operate in your

day-to-day life and then from this place

you're going to have a lot of power like

look I'm doing all this stuff in my life

what are you doing what do you bring in

the table and for a lot of guys they run

into this problem that the woman thinks

that she's the table like he's saying

hey I'm bringing all this to the table

look I got a good career I'm very

healthy I'm great with kids um I'm

pointed towards God I'm goodlook I got a

great house all these things and then

she comes in the picture and she's like

hi how you doing he's like hey cool what

are you bringing to the table she's like

what do you mean I'm

here like she is like what is she

bringing to the table now this isn't a

hate on women there are some some women

that are super giving and loving but

then there are also a bunch of other

ones that are big takers and so the

whole point of this is you want to

demonstrate that you're the prize and if

you're the prize then you're going to

hold to your partner to also be the

prize not by like dictating or telling

them what to do I'm by the way that you

lead and operate in your life she'll say

oh a guy that does that for himself he's

going to want this as well he's going to

want this as well for instance if you're

very fit in your body and you take care

of yourself then a woman comes into your

life is going to be like well I got two

options I'm going to have to get fit as

well or I'm going to have to manipulate

him to stop going to the

gym or maybe he'll just forget about it

but he won't just forget about it

because he's going to see her as a

reflection of himself in that in that

domain it's just the way it is so those

are I'm sure there's other ways to

regain attraction these aren't the only

nine but if you want to regain

attraction in your marriage or in your

relationship or just be an attractive

guy in general this is how you do it

these are a lot of the big the big Heavy

Hitters

if you like this video if you want more

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I'll see you on the next one