unf*ck your life in 90 days
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal journey of overcoming a debilitating health condition that drastically affected their life, leading to job loss and self-esteem issues. They outline a 12-step plan to regain control, including self-reflection, setting realistic goals, reducing screen time, and maintaining consistency. The emphasis is on the importance of taking action, starting small, and building momentum towards a more fulfilling life.
Takeaways
- đ Overcoming adversity starts with acknowledging a low point in life, such as the speaker's health issues that affected every aspect of their life.
- đ The impact of the health crisis led to a significant drop in income and eventual job loss, highlighting the ripple effect of personal struggles on professional life.
- đŽ Poor sleep and health led to a drastic weight loss and a negative self-image, further exacerbating the individual's desire to isolate and avoid social situations.
- đ The speaker emphasizes the importance of taking action to feel 'normal' again, rather than remaining stuck in a cycle of despair and inaction.
- đ A reality check involves self-reflection and confronting the fear of stagnation, which can be a powerful motivator for change.
- đ Starting with oneself means addressing personal habits and environment, such as cleaning and self-care, to create a positive momentum for change.
- đ The concept of 'standards' is crucial; understanding and adjusting personal standards can lead to improvements in various life aspects.
- đ° Raising standards involves a conscious effort to not spend excess money for a set period, allowing a new, higher standard to subconsciously set in.
- đ« Cutting down on screen time and eliminating negative influences is essential to focus on personal growth and avoid distractions.
- đ The 80/20 rule (Pareto Principle) suggests focusing on the most impactful areas of life to achieve greater happiness and success.
- đŻ Setting realistic and achievable goals is vital; starting with small, incremental steps rather than aiming for grand, unrealistic targets.
- đ Planning and following through with daily tasks can significantly contribute to success and personal growth.
- đž 'Eating the frog' is a metaphor for tackling the most challenging task first, which can set the tone for the rest of the day.
- đ Cutting out bad influences and vices is necessary to stay on the path of improvement and not be held back by negativity.
- đŁ Keeping one's word, especially to oneself, is fundamental to building self-confidence and trust in one's abilities.
- đ Consistency in effort and behavior is key to building a 'fortified wall' of self-assurance and progress.
- đ€ Reflecting on the journey and recognizing progress, even during times of struggle, can inspire continued effort and growth.
Q & A
What was the main cause of the individual's life being at its lowest four years ago?
-The main cause was a health disease that affected every aspect of the individual's life, including work, sleep, and energy levels.
How did the disease impact the person's monthly income?
-The disease led to a significant decrease in the person's monthly income from $27,000 to $10,000, eventually resulting in job loss.
What was the individual's primary goal during this challenging period?
-The primary goal was to feel slightly normal again and to find relief from the disease.
What is the first step the individual suggests to overcome a difficult situation?
-The first step is a reality check, which involves having an honest conversation with oneself about the current situation and the potential consequences of not addressing it.
How does the individual describe the natural progression of life in terms of highs and lows?
-Life naturally moves between highs, where things are going great, and lows, where everything seems to be going wrong. The problem arises when one chooses to avoid addressing the issues during low periods.
What action did the individual take to start improving their situation?
-The individual started by cleaning their room, taking care of their hygiene, and eliminating external clutter, which helped build momentum for further improvements.
What does the individual mean by 'recalibrating your standards'?
-Recalibrating standards means identifying and adjusting what one considers 'normal' or 'average' in various aspects of life, and then raising those standards to improve one's situation.
How does the individual explain the concept of 'cutting screen time' in relation to self-improvement?
-Cutting screen time involves removing sources of distraction and negativity, such as social media and excessive entertainment, to focus on actions that contribute to personal growth.
What is the 'rule of 8020' as mentioned in the script, and how does it apply to self-improvement?
-The rule of 8020, or the Pareto principle, states that 80% of the results come from 20% of the inputs. In self-improvement, it means focusing on the most important areas that will yield the greatest happiness and results.
What common mistakes does the individual identify in goal setting, and how should one set goals correctly?
-Common mistakes include making happiness the goal and setting unrealistic goals. One should set small, achievable goals that move them in the right direction, starting with going from zero to one.
Why is planning the day and 'eating the frog' important according to the script?
-Planning the day helps eliminate overthinking and focuses on the tasks that need to be done. 'Eating the frog' refers to tackling the most challenging task first, which is crucial for building momentum and making progress.
How does the individual suggest dealing with bad influences in one's life?
-The individual suggests cutting out people and vices that prevent one from doing the necessary work and keep them stuck in their current situation.
What is the significance of keeping one's word in building self-confidence and achieving goals?
-Keeping one's word provides evidence of one's ability to follow through on commitments, which builds self-confidence day by day and creates a strong foundation for achieving goals.
Why is consistency important in the process of rebuilding one's life, and how does it contribute to success?
-Consistency is important because it allows for the continuous application of effort towards goals, even when facing difficulties. It is the key to building a 'fortified wall' of success, brick by brick.
What is the purpose of reflecting on one's journey after a period of consistent effort?
-Reflecting on the journey helps to recognize the progress made, even during times of struggle, and provides inspiration to continue the effort, leading to significant transformation over time.
Outlines
đ Overcoming Personal Struggles
The speaker recounts their life four years ago when they were at an all-time low due to a health issue that significantly impacted their daily life and work, reducing their income and causing them to lose weight and self-esteem. They describe their journey to regain normalcy, which included an 8-month and 11-day struggle before they started to feel relief. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a reality check and self-reflection to avoid complacency in a negative situation. They also stress the need to take responsibility for one's own life, starting with small steps like cleaning and personal hygiene to build momentum for larger changes.
đ ïž Revamping Life with Practical Steps
The speaker outlines a series of steps to improve one's life after overcoming a personal low point. They suggest deleting social media and other distractions to cut down on screen time, applying the 80/20 rule to focus on what truly matters, setting realistic and achievable goals, and planning the day ahead to follow through with tasks. They also highlight the importance of taking action, even if it's not perfect, and eliminating negative influences from one's life. The speaker encourages keeping one's word, being consistent, and reflecting on progress to stay motivated. They conclude by advising viewers to share their insights with others who might be facing similar challenges.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄHealth
đĄReality Check
đĄLow Period
đĄStandards
đĄClutter
đĄScreen Time
đĄ80/20 Rule
đĄGoals
đĄPlan
đĄEat the Frog
đĄInfluences
đĄConsistency
đĄReflection
Highlights
Personal health crisis led to a significant decrease in income and job loss.
The impact of the disease on sleep and energy levels, resulting in drastic weight loss.
The speaker's journey to regain a sense of normalcy after enduring a severe illness.
The importance of an honest self-assessment to avoid remaining lost in life.
The natural progression of life involves periods of being lost and the necessity to confront this reality.
The speaker's realization of the need to change personal habits to improve life circumstances.
The concept of recalibrating personal standards to avoid being trapped by one's own expectations.
The illustration of how standards can subconsciously influence behavior in various life aspects.
A strategy for raising personal standards using a 30-day scheme to adjust to new norms.
The negative impact of excessive screen time and the speaker's decision to cut down on it.
The Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) applied to focus on the most impactful areas of life.
Common mistakes in goal setting and the importance of starting with achievable objectives.
The significance of planning daily tasks to streamline success and reduce overthinking.
The necessity of taking action, even if imperfect, to initiate progress in life.
Cutting out bad influences to prevent them from hindering personal growth.
The importance of keeping one's word to build self-confidence and demonstrate reliability.
The value of consistency in achieving long-term goals and overcoming challenges.
Reflecting on personal progress and using it as motivation to continue the journey of improvement.
The encouragement to share insights with others who may be experiencing similar struggles.
Transcripts
my life was at its absolute lowest about
four years ago mainly due to a health
reason outside of my control this
disease affected every second of the day
and night for me which eventually
infected all areas of my life my work
began to suffer a rle where I was making
about $27,000 per month dwindled down to
$10,000 per month which eventually
caused me to be let go the disease
allowed me to sleep on and off for about
4 hours total each night which caused my
energy levels to dwindle I lost about 32
lbs in a 6mon span and when I looked in
the mirror I was ashamed of what I saw
in my reflection which caused my brain
to avoid leaving the house unless
absolutely necessary my only goal was to
feel slightly normal again and after 8
months and 11 days I finally felt some
relief from this disease from there I
UNF my life in 90 days and you can too
step one reality check it takes an
honest conversation with yourself I felt
completely lost but feeling lost is not
a problem staying lost is is a problem
being lost is a natural progression in
life because you don't have all the info
you need to go to the next destination
it happens to everyone at some point in
their life the problem arises when you
have red flags raising and you choose to
avoid the fire and do nothing about it
so you have to get real with yourself if
I stayed in this situation for another 5
years how afraid would I be and I was
terrified by the answer by then I'd be
even more anxious more pessimistic and
it'd be even harder to get out of a bad
routine i l a fire under my butt step
two start with yourself in life you
constantly move between highs and lows
highs being where things are going great
you feel great and you feel like you can
do anything Lowe's being where it feels
like nothing's going right and
everything's just collapsing in when
you're in a low period your mind starts
to play tricks on you your mind tells
you there's no way out it's going to be
like this forever that's just not true
the only truth is only you can get
yourself out of this situation take me
for example I got to the point where I
didn't clean my room dishes were piling
up my own hygiene wasn't even a priority
even if you were there back then to
clean my room for me based on my current
belief system my room would have quickly
gotten messy again so it had to be me
and it has to be you I started cleaning
each room one by one getting rid of any
external clutter that reminded me of my
clutter inside I brushed my teeth I
showered I put on some cologne and it
helped take a couple steps out of the
I figured hey even if the world outside
starts crumbling and a giant asteroid
was about to hit Earth at least I'd
smell good and that started the momentum
step three recalibrate your standards my
standards were trapping me and your
standards are trapping you when I say
standard I simply mean what feels normal
to you and normal is different for
everyone you have your standard your
Peak and your floor if Elon Musk woke up
one day checked his bank account and saw
he had $10 million in it he would would
freak out and feel like he was going
broke but that same 10 million to
someone else could be a number that they
can't even fathom you have to find your
current standards then you raise them
then you keep them there each of those
levels have different challenges picture
this JN has $1,000 to his name that is
his standard his Dad gives him $22,000
for graduating college now he's way
above his average so he starts ordering
door Dash more he gets a few items off
his Amazon wish list and after a few
weeks he's back to having a
standard in his bank account and he
wonders where all the money went it's
subconscious you always gravitate
towards your standards similarly if Jon
had his $1,000 but he total his bike and
needed to get a new one now he only has
$300 in his account so when his friends
ask him to go out or he's hungry next
time he checks the fridge first or says
he just can't go out I'm broke and he
works back up to his standard so how do
you raise your standards the
mind-blowing truth about standards is
they usually work as one for all areas
of your life when your bank account is
at its lowest usually your sleep and
your self-care is at its worst as well
when your self-care is at its best your
bank account usually reflects that as I
started building momentum I used a
30-day scheme to raise my standards so
again Jon's at $3,000 instead of
spending the excess he doesn't do
anything with it for 30 days
subconsciously that becomes his new
standard over that time so after 30 days
now he gets a raise at work now it's at
$4,000 for 30 days again he doesn't do
anything with the extra and he has a new
standard you can continue to do this an
infinite amount of times to unfold your
life and achieve anything step four cut
screen time I desperately wanted to get
back to the old me I would wake up and
watch a YouTube video on how to improve
my life but was met with vague advice
like Get Smart Connect with others and
other tips that left me feeling more
lost than before to cope with those
feelings I would Doom scroll for hours
then I'd beat myself up for wasting so
much time watch another video on how to
improve my life and then repeat that
process until evening where I would then
attack myself even more for wasting an
entire day so then I would watch Netflix
and play video games to avoid feeling
that feeling of Despair I had to delete
social media I deleted Netflix I removed
any source that could cause me to Doom
scroll and only left me with sources
that would move me in a direction I
wanted and needed cutting hours and
hours off of my screen time each day
step five simplify the rule of 8020 I
needed Improvement in all areas of my
life and with an endless amount of areas
to improve you don't know where to start
the Paro principle is proven to be a law
of nature time and time again meaning
80% of the results are driven by 20% of
total inputs simplified further 20% of
your life will give you 80% of your
happiness so only focus on the areas
that matter most to you the rest is just
noise step six set the right goals I
just wanted to feel happy anyone does
when they're feeling down but there are
two common errors most people make when
setting goals first they make happiness
the goal as Jordan Peterson States if
your goal is just to be happy that's
impossible you're telling me you want
happiness without ever feeling any kind
of burden in your life that won't happen
the second mistake is that people often
have unrealistic goals through my Doom
scrolling I would see people with
mansions on the beach and Bugattis in
their garage wanting a Bugatti when I
couldn't even clean my home doesn't help
me out you have to learn addition before
you get to calculus you have to start
with the smallest goal that will move
you in the right direction meaning start
with going from zero to one not with a
th to a thousand and one you have to set
the bar appropriately low for yourself
step seven plan your day much of success
nowadays can be attributed to how good
someone is at following directions I've
had mentors and coaches for a number of
areas in my life what is true time and
time again is that the more I follow the
plan that is laid out before me the
better results I get so plan your few
tasks the night before this will take
away any overthinking you have and then
you can simply submit to the work that
needs to be done step eight eat the Frog
you have to do the work there is no way
around it as you go down your path of
rebuilding your life the start is the
hardest it takes more energy to start
than it does to keep going you have to
take that first step don't worry about
being perfect a bed made poorly is still
better than a bed not made you can
improve but you have to start step nine
cut bad influences misery loves company
and that company doesn't want to let you
go Tony Robbins has a great example for
this look at this picture here now count
how many red objects you see
now close your eyes how many brown
objects were there in the picture you
have no idea right it's because you were
looking for red so if you look for
negatives in life you will find them
look for positives and you'll find them
cut the people out of your life who hook
you to stay where you are cut vices out
that keep you from doing the work that
you need to do step 10 keep your word
you are the only person in your life
that will be with you every step of the
way for the rest of your life life the
fastest way to destroy all
self-confidence you have is to tell
yourself you're going to do something
and then you don't do it and believe me
I know when you're at your lowest if you
treated others the way you treat
yourself people would want nothing to do
with you but the fastest way to build
your confidence is to keep your word to
yourself that gives you evidence that
you can do this and that builds day
after day after day until you have a
fortified wall Step 11 consistency
building that wall takes consistency if
your goal is to UNF your life or build a
billion dooll business everyone would do
it if it was easy you know the journey
will be difficult you will second guess
yourself sometimes so when times get
tough remind yourself that this is what
hard feels like it's supposed to feel
like this so continue laying brick after
brick step 12 reflect on your journey
you've been stuck just like I was even
getting out of bed was difficult so you
set an appropriately L Bar and you've
been consistent with it for 30 days take
a moment to reflect on those 30 days 80%
of that time you probably felt like you
were failing 15% of the time you
probably felt neutral and the 5% of the
time looking back you realize how far
you've come and that will inspire you to
keep going when you do that two more
times at the end of 90 days you can be
in a completely different situation so
if you gain something from this video
share it with someone else who needs it
and we'll get out of this low together
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