The Truth About Dating in Your 30s & 40s
Summary
TLDRThe speaker addresses the common concern of whether it's too late to start practicing day game at the age of 35. He reassures that age is not a barrier and emphasizes that every step in improving one's social skills leads to a better life. He shares his personal experience, noting that even at 41, he is more successful in dating than ever before. The speaker encourages taking action now, highlighting that the journey itself is rewarding and that progress in social skills can be rapid with dedication. He also points out that starting later in life can come with certain advantages, such as greater financial stability and life experience.
Takeaways
- đ Starting 'day game' at 35 is not too late; it's about personal growth and improvement, not just about age.
- đ¶ The saying 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' is a myth; it's possible to learn and change habits at any age, though it might take more time.
- đĄ The fear of running out of time or not being 'good enough' by a certain age is unfounded; improvement in social skills can happen at any stage of life.
- đŻ The speaker, at 41, is dating more attractive and eligible partners now than in his 20s or 30s, suggesting that age is not a barrier to a fulfilling social life.
- đ Early progress in 'game' can lead to significant life improvements, such as better motivation, fewer excuses, and more creative problem-solving.
- đ± Even if it takes until 40 to become advanced, the journey itself brings substantial benefits, including increased confidence and social skills.
- đ The speaker emphasizes that 'game' is not binary; there are many levels of proficiency, each bringing its own set of benefits and life improvements.
- đïžââïž Comparing 'game' to fitness, it's never too late to start and every step towards improvement enhances one's life, regardless of the final level achieved.
- đŒ Starting 'game' later in life may have advantages, such as being more established in one's career and having more life experience to offer.
- đ The speaker advises that if you're 35 and considering starting 'game,' you should do so with the understanding that the journey will be beneficial regardless of the time it takes to master it.
- đ A dedicated beginner can expect to reach an intermediate level within a year, capable of forming relationships with desirable partners, with the journey itself being rewarding.
Q & A
Is it too late to start practicing day game at the age of 35?
-No, it's not too late. The speaker emphasizes that every step of progress in day game improves life, and significant changes can be seen even within the first few months of starting.
What is the speaker's perspective on the idea that older people find it harder to change their habits?
-The speaker agrees that it might take longer for older individuals to change ingrained habits, but it is still possible. They use the analogy of teaching an old dog new tricks to illustrate this point.
What does the speaker suggest about the concern of running out of time to get good at day game?
-The speaker questions the concern, pointing out that even if someone becomes good at day game at 39 or 40, it's not a problem as there's plenty of social life beyond that age.
What is the speaker's view on the benefits of starting day game, even if one doesn't reach an advanced level?
-The speaker believes that the benefits of starting day game are immediate and life-changing, with every bit of growth leading to a better life, regardless of not reaching an advanced level.
How does the speaker describe the impact of day game on their life?
-The speaker shares that day game has made them a different person, with improved motivation, perspective, and problem-solving skills, affecting not just their social life but also other areas like sales and handling adversity.
What does the speaker suggest about the timeline for seeing progress in day game?
-The speaker suggests that significant progress can be seen within weeks or months, and it's not necessary to wait until reaching an expert level to enjoy the benefits.
What is the speaker's advice for someone who is 35 and considering starting day game?
-The speaker advises that it's never too late to start and that the best time to start is now, emphasizing that the journey itself is rewarding and life-enhancing.
How does the speaker compare the process of learning day game to getting in shape?
-The speaker compares learning day game to getting in shape by stating that while one might not become an Olympic athlete, the process of getting in better shape is beneficial and life-improving.
What are the potential advantages of starting day game later in life, according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that starting day game later in life might come with advantages such as being more established in the world, having a better job, financial stability, and more life experience to offer.
What is the speaker's final note on starting day game at 35?
-The speaker's final note is that even though it would have been nice to start sooner, there are advantages to starting later, and there's no excuse not to start now.
Outlines
đ€ Overcoming Age-Related Concerns in Learning Day Game
The speaker addresses a common concern about starting to learn day game at the age of 35, questioning if it's too late and if one would only become proficient later in life. They empathize with the frustration and aim to provide a definitive answer. The speaker refutes the idea that older individuals cannot change habits or learn new skills, using the 'teach an old dog new tricks' analogy. They argue that while it might take more time to unlearn old habits, it's entirely possible to improve. They also challenge the notion of a deadline for skill acquisition, suggesting that even if one becomes good at 39 or 40, it's not a problem, as they personally are dating more attractive and eligible women now than ever before. The speaker emphasizes that every step in learning day game brings significant improvements to one's life, not just in dating but in overall social skills and personal growth. They encourage the audience to focus on the journey and the continuous enhancement of life that comes with learning day game, rather than fixating on reaching an expert level.
đȘ The Value of Starting Late and the Progression in Game
The speaker extends the discussion on starting day game later in life by drawing parallels to other areas of self-improvement, such as fitness and financial health. They argue that while it might be too late to become an Olympic athlete, the benefits of getting in shape at any age are immense. The speaker encourages the audience to start their journey in day game, emphasizing that the best time to start is now, regardless of age. They provide a realistic timeline for progress, suggesting that with dedication, one can reach an intermediate level within a year and predictably form relationships with desirable partners. The speaker also highlights the advantages of starting later in life, such as being more established and having more life experience to offer. They conclude by urging the audience to take action and start their journey in day game, as the rewards are well worth the effort.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄDay game
đĄHabits
đĄSocial skills
đĄPersonal growth
đĄAttraction
đĄAdversity
đĄDedication
đĄProgress
đĄAge
đĄExpert level
đĄMotivation
Highlights
The question of whether it's too late to start day game at 35 is addressed.
The idea that older habits are harder to change is compared to the saying 'can you teach an old dog new tricks'.
The speaker asserts that it is possible to learn new social skills at any age, just as with teaching an old dog new tricks.
The concern about running out of time to become good at day game is discussed.
The speaker shares his personal experience, being successful at day game at the age of 41.
The importance of every step of progress in day game is emphasized, as it improves life quality.
The speaker describes his life-changing experience after starting to approach girls.
The concept of game as a tool for overall personal growth, not just with women, is introduced.
The misconception of game as a binary skill (either you have it or you don't) is refuted.
The speaker explains that game is a spectrum with many shades of improvement.
A parallel is drawn between starting day game and getting in shape at an older age.
The speaker argues that it's never too late to start improving any aspect of life, including day game.
The timeline for a beginner to reach an intermediate level in day game is discussed as less than a year.
The speaker mentions potential advantages of starting day game at an older age, such as better financial stability and life experience.
A call to action for older individuals to start day game and take advantage of their current life stage.
The speaker concludes by encouraging immediate action and dismissing the idea that it's too late to start.
Transcripts
today's question reflects a huge
frustration that I know a lot of my
audience has and it's also a frustration
for me to answer it so let's just get it
off both of our chests and answer it
once and for all here's the question
is 35 too late to start day game will I
only get really good at like 39 or 40.
so I understand where this question is
coming from on about 10 different levels
and none of them are really good or
useful but it is an important question
because it does get asked a lot and it
is a concern that people have and the
idea here I think is a few things number
one there's this idea that as you get
older your habits get more ingrained and
it gets harder to change them right this
whole like can you teach an old dog new
tricks thing and the answer to that
question in the dog sense is yes you can
it just takes longer because you have to
unwind more habits but yes you can teach
an old dog new tricks all right so that
in that sense yes it can be done yes you
can learn at that age the second
question the way it's phrased is am I
gonna run out of time is there some sort
of Runway and if I don't hit the end of
it at enough speed I'm gonna crash it
will I only be good at 39 or 40. well I
would ask the asker of this question so
what if you get good at 39 or 40 is that
a problem I'm currently 41 and granted
yes I would say like I'm not just good
at this I'm probably hopefully a
world-class level at this point but I am
dating more attractive more eligible
girls now than I ever have at any point
in my life even when I was in my 20s and
good at this or in my 30s and good at
this right so it's not like you know you
jump off a cliff at 40 and there's no
more social life for you right there's
plenty of social life past 40. even if
you did take till 39 or 42 get good at
this so that's not really a deal breaker
either but my biggest answer to this
question is this what do you mean when
you say I will only get good or really
good by Third nine or 40 because here's
the truth about game every single step
of the way every single bit of progress
you make your life gets better and
actually at the start you're making
tremendous leaps and your life is
getting enormously better okay when I
first started approaching girls granted
yes I was 18 not 35 but when I first
started approaching girls it was utterly
an absolutely life-changing I was a
different person three months into it
than I was three months before and that
is not an exaggeration I had different
motivation I saw the world differently I
made fewer excuses I found more and
better and Creative Solutions I saw the
things I was learning in game affecting
the rest of my life and making me better
at social skills in general better at
sales better at handling adversity what
game will do for you quickly is
absolutely out of this world it's
absolutely insane what game will do for
you quickly even if you don't get to an
advanced level at it every step along
the way every bit of growth you're going
to get in game especially the early
stuff is life-changing right so yeah if
you could start at 35 and it would take
you to 40 to be
Advanced or world class or whatever
which by the way it shouldn't even take
that long if you're really dedicated but
let's assume it would take you that long
well who cares because in three months
or six months you still will have made
massive progress and in three months or
six months you'll be getting more dates
and let's say that you started doing Day
game and you started getting more
comfortable talking to girls and more
charismatic and you didn't even get a
lot of dates from Day game but let's say
you were getting a slow trickle of dates
from your Social Circle throughout your
life you would probably triple it or
quadruple or quintuple or ten times that
just from doing Day game and from being
more social as well right and maybe
you're 10 times in one day a year and
now it's 10 Dates a year as still a
pretty damn big improvements the point
is this if you're looking at it as like
okay I have to get to expert level and
that's my that's my be-all and end-all
and that's all I want out of game that's
not understanding fundamentally how
beautiful game is because the thing
about game is every single step is such
an enhancement getting from low level
beginner to high level beginner will
change your life getting from high level
beginner to intermediate will absolutely
completely turn your life upside down in
a good way and getting from intermediate
to Advanced will take everything in your
life to this insane ridiculous level
that's how powerful game is as a tool
for growth not only with women but in
everything also by the way it should not
take you four to five years to start
seeing massive massive progress now
depending what you consider really good
if you consider really good world class
yeah it may take you you know a long
time to get there but to get to 80 of
world class doesn't take really that
long what you learn in game early on is
truly life-changing right when you learn
not to supplicate that will change your
life when you learn that it's okay to
talk to strangers and that there aren't
huge consequences from that that will
change your life in so many ways not
just with women when you learn how to
spark attraction on command as opposed
to just crossing your fingers and
waiting and hoping for a girl to like
you it will blow your mind first of all
it will also change how you walk through
the world in a way that you will never
go back don't think of game as this
binary either I have zero or I have one
right I have either have game or I don't
have Gamers opposite from the way I do
it the other way but regardless it's not
something you either have or don't have
there's this huge gray area at every
step of gray every shade of gray along
that gray area is massive life progress
so I really want to emphasize I think as
I said that six different ways at this
point but if you're viewing game the way
that the asker of this question is
viewing game you're not getting anywhere
near the value you're going to at a game
just to give you my perspective on this
is someone that's seen people grow in
game I'm gonna give you a similar but
different question that I think we all
know the answer to and I want to show
you how they're very similar right if
someone were to come to you and let's
say they are massively out of shape
they're obese and in poor health and
they really are like you know starting
to become sickly and get diseases from
being in poor health and they're like
look I'm 35 is it too late for me to get
in shape is it too late for me to get in
the gym and the answer is it is probably
too late for them to become an Olympic
athlete that ship has probably sailed
that ship probably sailed a couple
decades ago and it probably sailed about
a hundred pounds ago right they are not
going to become a world-class athlete
however getting in the gym and getting
in shape is probably the single best
thing they can do and one of the single
most important decisions they can make
and if they you know started at let's
say 400 pounds and they got themselves
down to 300 over a course of many years
that would be tremendous for their life
and they would still be overweight and
they would still be out of shape and
they would still not be a world-class
athlete but their life would be so much
better right the question is okay I'm 35
is it too late well look it would have
been better if you started earlier yes
it would have been better if you started
earlier that would have been great but
you can't you can't go back in time
nobody has a time machine and think
think of it this way if you're worried
that 35 is too late ask yourself this if
I get to 45 how much worse is that right
so whatever time it is is the right time
for you to start game in the same way
that whatever moment it is is the right
time for you to start getting healthy
and getting in shape and yes it would
have been great if you lived your whole
life healthy and yes it would have been
great if you learned game from you know
a mentor when you were two years old and
never even had to study it formally
because it was just like in your bones
right that would be great but if you're
not there you have to make the right
decision from the place where you are
and the answer to both those questions
I'll give you a third one as well right
should I get fit and when should I start
yes and now should I start being
financially better and when should I
start working on it yes and now and
third one should I start working on game
and win yes and now okay these are
massive areas of growth in your life and
yeah it would have been great if you
started them earlier in all cases but
since you didn't and since you're at
this moment the best decision you can
make is to start now okay so that
answers the main part of this question
because it is sort of obliquely asked
I'll answer this as well how long will
it really take you to get to a decent
level in game if you are a typical
beginner and again all beginners are
different some beginners have like
literally no social experience of any
kind they lived like under Rock their
whole lives some beginners are actually
really good with you know guys and
social situations are just not
particularly good with girls and those
are two very different cases however for
just about any beginner who's dedicated
and willing to put in the work to get to
intermediate you should be able within a
period of less than a year to get to a
place where if you're willing to do
enough approaches you can predictably
get into relationships with cute
desirable girls you should be able to do
at least that within a year if you're
willing to put your ego aside do the
work and be smart about it and by the
way for a lot of you it'll be a lot
quicker so that's that's the extreme
case we're talking within a year some of
you it could be weeks or months for sure
it depends how hard you want to work how
smart you want to work it depends a
little bit where you're starting from
but really if you commit to this journey
you can get there and you can get there
a lot faster than you think and again as
I mentioned before the rewards along the
way will be amazing and will keep you on
the journey final note if you are
starting game at 35 I'm not going to
like blow smoke up your ass and say that
it's better that you're starting now
than if you started younger however I
will say you do probably have some
advantages over starting younger because
you're probably more established in the
world you probably have a better job you
probably have a better financial
situation you probably have more life
experience and more things you can bring
into a girl's life than you did when you
were younger so in that sense your
progress actually should be faster yes
it would have been nice to have started
sooner I'm not gonna lie that would have
been the case but you do have some
advantages being an older guy as well so
don't overlook those so all you old
farts get out there there's no excuse by
the way if you're 35 you're actually
younger than me so I'm the old fart but
yeah get out there take action it's the
right thing to do start and start now
please for yourself so that was actually
more fun to answer than I thought it was
going to be if you have questions post
them below and I will get to those
questions that is where I get a lot of
the content for that channel thanks for
being here see you on the next one
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