Discovering our WHY

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker explores a unique exercise to help individuals discover their 'why.' They recommend asking a close friend, not a family member or spouse, the question 'Why are we friends?' By playing Devil's Advocate and prompting the friend to delve deeper, the individual is guided to articulate the specific value they bring to their friend's life. This emotional and revealing conversation helps uncover a personal 'why,' offering a powerful tool for self-discovery.

Takeaways

• 😀 A great way to find your 'why' is through self-reflection and exercises like the 'friends exercise'.
• 😀 Avoid using close relationships like spouses or family members for this exercise; use a best friend instead.
• 😀 In the 'friends exercise', ask your friend the simple question: 'Why are we friends?'
• 😀 Initially, your friend will describe you, but the key is to dive deeper into the specifics of why they value you.
• 😀 Play Devil's Advocate by asking them what specifically about you makes them feel supported and trusted.
• 😀 As your friend describes their feelings, you may experience an emotional response, like goosebumps or even tears.
• 😀 This emotional reaction is a sign that you're tapping into the core of your personal 'why'.
• 😀 Your 'why' often lies in how you make others feel and the unique value you bring into their lives.
• 😀 The 'friends exercise' allows for clarity by focusing on what makes your relationship with someone meaningful.
• 😀 The exercise emphasizes emotional connections as a pathway to discovering your deeper purpose.
• 😀 By understanding how others view you, you gain insight into your own intrinsic motivations and values.

Q & A

What is the 'friends exercise' and how does it help you find your 'why'?

The 'friends exercise' is an activity where you ask a best friend why you are friends with them. This exercise helps you uncover your 'why' by making your friend describe what specifically about you makes the relationship meaningful to them.

Why is it important not to do the 'friends exercise' with a spouse or family member?

It is recommended not to do the exercise with a spouse or family member because those relationships are too close, and the responses might not provide the deep, reflective insights needed to find your 'why'.

How do you play Devil's Advocate during the 'friends exercise'?

You play Devil's Advocate by challenging your friend's initial answers. When they describe qualities like trust or support, you ask what specifically about you makes them feel that way, pushing them to articulate deeper insights.

What type of emotional reaction might you experience during the 'friends exercise'?

You may experience a strong emotional reaction, such as getting goosebumps or feeling emotional, as your friend articulates the value you bring to their life, signaling you are close to discovering your 'why'.

What role does emotional response play in the 'friends exercise'?

An emotional response, like goosebumps or welling up, indicates that you're getting close to your 'why'. It shows that the conversation is uncovering deeply meaningful insights about your purpose.

Why is it important to understand your 'why'?

Understanding your 'why' is essential because it provides clarity about your purpose in life, helping you make decisions aligned with your values and motivations.

What should you focus on during the 'friends exercise'?

During the exercise, you should focus on understanding what specific qualities about you make you valuable to your friend, rather than just general qualities of friendship.

What is the potential outcome of successfully completing the 'friends exercise'?

By completing the 'friends exercise', you will gain a clearer understanding of your personal 'why'—the core values and motivations that drive you and give meaning to your relationships.

What does the speaker mean by being 'in the ballpark' for discovering your 'why'?

Being 'in the ballpark' means you're getting very close to uncovering your 'why'. When you have a strong emotional response during the conversation, it signals that you're on the right track.

How can the 'friends exercise' help in personal growth?

The 'friends exercise' promotes self-awareness by prompting you to reflect on the value you bring to others. This understanding helps guide personal growth by clarifying your motivations and purpose.