New Year's Resolutions

Summary

In this humorous monologue, the speaker humorously reflects on the tradition of New Year’s resolutions, poking fun at the idea of starting fresh while still dealing with unfinished resolutions from years past. The speaker shares amusing fan-submitted resolutions, including goals like looking great naked for a Vegas trip, quitting smoking for family, and even quitting men. The monologue ends with a personal commitment to continue a decade-old resolution to dance after every monologue, emphasizing the comedic struggles and quirks of New Year’s goal-setting.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker jokes about New Year's resolutions, highlighting how many people make them but struggle to keep them.
• 😀 The speaker admits that their resolution last year was to stop procrastinating, but humorously acknowledges they haven't followed through.
• 😀 A new personal rule is introduced: no new resolutions should be made until the old ones are completed, humorously suggesting this would keep Americans busy.
• 😀 The speaker questions if New Year's Day is the best time to start resolutions, considering the typically chaotic and hungover state many people are in when they wake up.
• 😀 There's a comedic suggestion that instead of focusing on resolutions, people should prioritize things like finding their pants or figuring out why there’s a banjo in their bed.
• 😀 The speaker shares humorous hypothetical scenarios, reflecting on the absurdity of New Year's resolutions in the context of such a state of confusion.
• 😀 The speaker asks their Facebook followers about their resolutions and shares a few responses.
• 😀 One follower, Lisa Ranga, humorously shares her goal of looking great naked before her Vegas trip, showing the diversity of resolutions.
• 😀 Another resolution shared is from Sharon Ayad DiMarco, who wants to quit smoking for the sake of her children and grandkids, showing a more serious and heartfelt resolution.
• 😀 The speaker humorously responds to a Facebook post from Patty Eldridge, whose resolution is to quit men, illustrating how some resolutions are lighthearted or personal.
• 😀 A fan named Misty Warren shares her resolution to never miss an Ellen show again, highlighting a fan's dedication and strong commitment to the show.
• 😀 The speaker concludes by reaffirming their own resolution to continue dancing after every monologue, referencing a long-standing tradition they’ve maintained throughout ten seasons of the show.

Q & A

Why does the speaker suggest that people shouldn't be allowed to make New Year's resolutions until they finish their old ones?

The speaker humorously suggests that this rule would keep people busy, implying that people often make New Year's resolutions without completing past ones. It serves as a playful critique of the tradition of setting resolutions without follow-through.

What is the speaker's opinion on making New Year's resolutions on New Year's Day?

The speaker finds it ironic and somewhat illogical to make resolutions on New Year's Day, given the circumstances like waking up hungover, being unsure of one's whereabouts, and having bigger priorities like finding clothes and understanding random situations (like a banjo in bed).

How does the speaker use humor to address the idea of New Year's resolutions?

The speaker uses exaggerated and absurd scenarios, such as waking up covered in Cool Whip and finding a banjo in bed, to highlight the chaos of New Year's Day and contrast it with the seriousness of making resolutions, making the concept seem humorous and unrealistic.

What was the speaker's resolution from the previous year, and did they succeed in keeping it?

The speaker's resolution from the previous year was to stop procrastinating, but they humorously admit they still haven't gotten around to it, showcasing the difficulty of sticking to resolutions.

What new rule does the speaker suggest for New Year's resolutions?

The speaker suggests a new rule where people shouldn't be allowed to make new resolutions until they've finished their previous ones, presenting it as a humorous solution to the common problem of unfulfilled resolutions.

What type of New Year's resolutions does the speaker mention were made by their Facebook fans?

The speaker shares various humorous and personal resolutions from their Facebook fans, including resolutions to look great naked before a trip to Vegas, quit smoking for the sake of family, quit men, and not miss an Ellen show unless it's for a life-threatening reason.

What humorous observation does the speaker make about the nature of some resolutions?

The speaker makes a humorous observation that some resolutions, like quitting men, are easier than others. This adds a comedic touch to the variety of resolutions people make, emphasizing their different levels of practicality and seriousness.

How does the speaker respond to the resolution of someone named Sharon?

When Sharon mentions her resolution to quit smoking for the sake of her children and grandkids, the speaker humorously suggests that perhaps Sharon's resolution should be to have more faith in the speaker, playfully implying that they do read their fan's comments, despite being 'not famous.'

What does the speaker say about Misty Warren's resolution?

The speaker praises Misty Warren's resolution to never miss an Ellen show, humorously stating that some people have their priorities in order, and wishing her success with her resolution, thus showing appreciation for her dedication.

What is the speaker's personal resolution, and how long has it been in place?

The speaker mentions their long-standing personal resolution, which they made ten seasons ago: to dance after every monologue. This resolution has been a constant and reflects the speaker's commitment to maintaining a fun and lively routine on the show.